Life... I love this game.
Work: I know I shouldn't get all worked up about such things (since I'm practically out from under my current employer), but this is me we're talking about, so let the bitching begin. My usual schedule is 9 to 5, M-F... this week I ended up working open to close (8a to passed 7p) 3 days this week. Things were as such because the main "floor" nurse had foot surg, we're pals, she needed a desk job for a little while, so I've been on the floor while she does all the paperwork. No biggie. :) So Tuesday, while I was OFF, the boss lady called and wanted to know why the expired narcotics haven't been sent out for destruction, and who she needed to call to take care of it. The whole thing is... she mentioned it a few months ago. Her husband, the doc and owner didn't have a license to prescribe narcotics at that time, which means that I couldn't send them out for destruction because I need a D.E.A. license number in order to do so. He's just received that license again, and when he did, I got on the ball and called and am now waiting on the proper forms. Once I have those forms... it will be taken care of. So to HER, this has been going on for months, on my end, it's only been weeks because I needed the proper documentation to proceed. I've done this a million times, I know how to take care of it. My point to this story is... Why can't they just let me do my job until I'm like... actually GONE? I'd have been back the next day, that couldn't wait?? Change who does everything and how it's done after I leave... Just let me do my job until it's NO LONGER MY JOB. Please? Is that asking too much?? My last day isn't until June 25th, but I'm only on the schedule for 2 more days, the rest are vacation days that I had to take or lose. So, they've essentially got 2 weeks to learn to take care of business, and then ask any questions right before I go. I've recently been making final arrangements there (that sounds really morbid, lol), I've copied my Hepatitis immunization records, my TB testing records, and my DOT urine drug screen collector certification (which is the grand scheme of things is hysterical when you think about it). "Hi, my name is Tina, and I'm a certified urine collector." SWEET! Have I mentioned that I'm SCARED TO DEATH to start (let alone FIND) another job?? For the most part, I love my job, so... what happens if I can't find something that I enjoy as much?? What happens when all of my coworkers are mean to me and I end up hating them? What happens when it's nothing like the job I have now and I loathe it with a passion? (I realize I'm being irrational here... just let me get it all out. :lol ) What if I show up to work, go to potty, and the toilet paper is on the roll upside down? What if no one ever cleans out the work fridge and it's full of old FUNK, and they expect me to put my lunch in there?? I can't work under that kind of pressure!!!

The House: It's gorgeous. It's fabulous. It's the most wonderful thing that's ever happened, and it's all mine! The only mishaps at this point: The lighting I picked out for the kitchen, has to be changed out... it's funny how lighting fixtures don't look as large as they really are when they're in Lowe's hanging 25 feet over your head. The one that hangs in the center of the kitchen HAS to go... it's HUGE. Now it won't perfectly match the fixture that will hang over the kitchen table, but what are ya gonna do?? And the beam in the "great room" in the center of the vaulted ceiling? It was supposed to be OAK. It's white, white is very UN-oak as far as I can tell. :lol The way I look at it though, if those things are the WORST that happens while trying to get into this house... so be it

Little Gene: who we'll lovingly refer to as Bubby as not to get him confused with his father, Gene, in this little diddy... Gene stated the other day, that his mother said that Bubby wasn't "acting right" and that we should keep an eye on him. I know he's not that keen on this whole moving thing, which we've discussed, at which time I frankly told him that I'm not doing to well with the idea of moving either. I know that I'm supposed to be all mom-like and strong for him, blah blah blah, but we're not that kind of family. If something's on our minds, we discuss it. If we're unhappy, we discuss it. Even if I'm the one that's upset and not feeling that sure of things in life, we discuss it. That's how it's always been, and it's worked beautifully for years. A lot of the time it's just been us three, so if I'm ALWAYS the strong one... who's strong for me when *I* need someone? Ya know? So... We talk about EVERYTHING and that's that. The boys feel more involved and in control, and it's completely adorable when the hug me and say, "It'll be OK, Mom." Anyway, tangent aside, so this week when I'd hang with Bubby, he was all lovey, I didn't notice him to be acting any differently than usual. I talked to Gene again yesterday, and he says again, "Just keep an eye on him, I think this could turn out to be a ‘traumatic thing' for him." WTF? Am I missing something here?!? He's been FINE. He knows that we're spending Mon, Tues, and Wed of next week together since I'm off, and yet... he wanted to hang out with me this weekend instead of going to his dad's house. Instead of sharing space with his brother, he's getting his own room, a decent yard to play in, and a place where the neighborhood thugs won't knock him down and steal his basketball! It's *only* two hours away, this is a good thing. Just a little on Gene's mother... she's basically a good woman, but she doesn't always THINK before she speaks. At one point 3 years ago, she actually told me, "You know you'd be happier with Gene." Nevermind the fact that I was WITH someone else and had been for years, nevermind the fact that Gene and I hadn't been together for over 8 years, nevermind the fact that even if it MIGHT have been true (it certainly wasn't), that it wasn't her place to say such a thing. He'd already been remarried and then divorced since we'd parted ways! (FYI - He's with a wonderful woman now, they have a new baby, she's good to my kids, and I wish them the best of luck and love. We're friends, that's what friends do.) So just about the time, I again convinced myself that she's a good person, and that she simply doesn't thing before speaking, and finally got over the anger of that moment... I hear today that she actually asked my mother, "Have you tried to talk her out of moving yet?" My mother was like, "WHY would I try to talk her out of it? This is what she's always wanted, her own home, she can make more money, she's trying to do what's best for herself and for her children." She actually said, "She's running off with my grandbabies." They're 11 and 12, it's only 2 HOURS away!! It upsets me to think that she's so self-centered that she can't see what I'm trying to do here. As a MOTHER, you'd think she'd understand. I know that Bubby might not be thrilled with the idea of moving, but he's OK, and he'll be OK, and I think this is her making mountains out of molehills simply to prove a point. How can someone be so caught up in someone else's life, and how they think it should be lived, that they don't even care if that person is happy or not? What does she think is going to happen? It's not like I'm going to move away and then suddenly NOT TAKE CARE OF MY OWN CHILDREN! I swear... I just need to run off to a desert island somewhere...

Anger = Fear: I either read this or saw it on television at work sometime last week, and it's kind of an interesting thought. Next time you're completely PISSED about something... ask yourself, "What am I afraid of?" I've been using it all week, it's been enlightening. Once you realize you're scared, NOT pissed, and realize what you're afraid OF... it all seems so trivial. You quickly realize that it's your own feelings that cause you to become as angry as you do, and not asshole coworkers as you had previously thought.

My non-Atkins kinda day: For the last few weeks I'm been doing the Atkins thing. I'm was a little heavier than I'd like, mostly from lack of exercise. I started working out again, and thought I'd use Atkins to jump start some weight loss and then slowly add carbs back in (while still working out) and converting back to low fat, over like a month's time. We'll, I lost 10 pounds, and then for the last week, even though I haven't cheated AT ALL, I've been religious about this, yet lost NOTHING. Friday, a few people I'd talked to at work said, "That's when you're supposed to cheat, it'll re-jump start your diet." Still not convinced that cheating was the way to go, I walked in to the breakroom in search of coffee where I found a box of donuts already on the table and a drug rep dropping off a box of the biggest, most beautiful muffins I'd ever seen... a CHERRY ONE EVEN! Oh.. .it was ON. A donut and AND a muffin later, McDonalds for lunch, and Taco Johns for dinner, I was LOVING life. I never weigh at home, only at work... so I'm not really sure what damage I did, or what progress I made, but damn... that was a good day INDEED. I'd love to be a fitness guru because I feel SO much better when I'm eating as I should and working out, I've discovered though that I'm lacking the willpower and motivation needed to do so. *wondering how far I am from that unemployed millionaire status I've been working so hard towards* I'm almost SURE that I could swing such a diet and exercise program if that were the case. :lol

Crazy People: My next entry will be an enlightening one in reference to crazy people, the games they play, the fact that they don't usually REALIZE that they're crazy, the signs and symptoms that alert us normal people of their insanity, abnormal behaviors, probable diagnosis, and the kind of professional help/medications that would benefit these people the most. I'm such a giver that I'll even have a case study for us. :D (Someone out there should be afraid, very afraid ;) ) Afterall... I'm so completely sane that I'm the person of choice where making such assumptions about others come into play... right? RIGHT? *stern look* :lol