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So I've joined a gym out here and between working out and eating right-ish, in the first week I had lost 6lbs. Pretty cool, yeah.
A whole month later, I haven't changes a point.
They have this machine in the gym that monitors everything from my weight, to my body fat percentage, to my blood pressure.
Every single thing is the same today as it was a month ago. Weight, B.M.I, everything. Oh, aside from my blood pressure which apparently went up :(
I've become quite discouraged. I thought this was working. How could I have seen results in the first week and nothing since then? My body's annoying. I wish it wasn't so expensive to work with a personal trainer...
I'm not like "OMG I'M FAAAAT!" I just know I'm medically overweight for my age and height and I just want to be in shape a little more. and it wouldn't hurt to get rid of this tummy slightly...
Aside from all that I've actually been debating the thought of possibly getting a beast reduction. I don't think I'll have as much back pain as my Grandmother did or many of my other well endowed friends, luckily, because of my height. I've just come to the realization that I'm becoming more and more emotionally frustrated with my shape, aiming towards my chest. They are constantly feeling like they are in the way and I feel limited for many reasons, many I don't really want to share here.
Fashion wise is a primary issue at the moment as well. I can not wear what I want to wear.
Examples,
I've had this EXPRESS Credit Card [for the clothing store] since I moved here. I've only once used it for myself. I've just bought things for Mike. Nothing fits my body type, mainly because of my chest. What a waste.
I have My button up shirts for work are CONSTANTLY puckering and/or popping open and I finally found a button up that'll stay closed but it's a little lower cut. I don't show anything luckily and none of the people who matter [customers included] have minded but, one of our newer, temporary, asst. managers pulled me aside and said something about it. As I ever so forwardly told him that it was either this or a real peep show for the guests and mentioned that I've worn this shirt for almost a year now and through two different restaurants without comment, I silently to myself bitched that there was another server with the exact shirt as myself and NO ONE has ever made a reference about her chest.
As well as the fact that even down to the bridesmaid dresses for Darla's wedding, I became bitter for a short while about the fact that every girl had their first choice in dresses and I didn't get my top six. My chest again. And even though I'm over it. I'm back to hunting because this new dress, we didn't notice, was meant to be worn, braless [low back] which is just not happening with a 38-40DD, sorry. Especially in a church setting lol. I've figured out how to fix the problem but the fact that there was a problem is ridiculous.
I'm still wearing jeans and t-shirts [even though I still love them] because I can't change up my wardrobe for body issues.
bitch. bitch. bitch some more Donia!
Sorry.
Back to the whole reduction, the possibility of this happening is still slim and for sure will not be happening anytime soon. Even with all the negatives, I do like my breast sometimes and I like that I'm larger but not SO LARGE. They're apart of me and I've never really been one to change what life's given me too much [like, surgery]. Also the plan was to work out and loose weight to get my body in an ideal state. My breasts should get slightly smaller afterward and I'd like to see my body like that before I make any decisions. If my proportions aren't too Dolly Parton, I might just stick with it and make it work.
Blah Blah Bitch Bitch...
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