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Friday, July 18th, 2008
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12:28 am
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Whenever I write a long rant or essay type thing here, when I'm near halfway done or so, I look at it, think it's rubbish, feel unbearable intellectual loneliness, then just erase it all. I know I'm just compounding the problem. And what a problem it is, I'm so surprised at it, of all personal problems, I rarely hear people complain about feeling deeply intellectually lonely. What's keeping me though may be a feeling that either way I'd be compounding the problem. My cost-benefit analysis so far tells me the risk is worse.
Getting into a debate with a disagreeing party is intellectually enriching, for sure, but I've so rarely been "with my kind" so right now I'm just interested in getting rid of that loneliness :(
current music: Samuel L Barber - Adagio for Strings
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| Wednesday, July 16th, 2008
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12:36 pm
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I post here merely to vent my disgust at reading a bunch of people on a thread saying that torture of minors is A-OK! Ameeerrica, fuck yeah... I don't know all the evidence, but the very fact that people are going, "Who cares? He deserves everything he gets" is really disturbing. Like people who clearly state that we can and should piss all over the Geneva conventions. Hey at least they're being honest I guess. This isn't even some extremist message board...
Shit, this kid seems like a prime candidate for (at least an attempt at) rehabilitation and then maybe he'll provide information THAT way.
Must stop reading the internet... it's mind boggling and depressing.
current mood:  gloomy
current music: Poooddcasts
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| Sunday, July 6th, 2008
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11:15 pm - me me me me me self indulgence
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So here I am, been living in Ottawa for nearly a month now, and feeling kinda filthy because our shower has been out of commission, and the downstairs washroom smells like piss even though we planted an air freshener in there. Ah well, this house is a fixer-upper alright. Man, I can't wait for the upstairs bathroom to be finished.
One of my housemates told me that the cheddar tortillas a bought yesterday smell like... feet. Which disturbed me, because upon further thinking about it, it's true. God, if he didn't say anything I could be able to eat this in peace. I thought it smelled a bit strong in the store, but I like cheese and wanted to try it out, plus it was on sale. I guess maybe this is why it's on sale, it scares everyone else away. So yeah, melding cheddar and tortilla smell together = feet. When I eat lunch tomorrow I'll feel really disturbed all the while ._.
Aughh, I wish Persona 3 would vary up its music more, because I actually rather like(d) the tracks that are there, it's just that it's sooo repetitive in the game D,: Seriously... fuck the school music. I also wish they did the 3D modelling on the monsters and the personas better... because some of the designs in the artbook scans I've seen are really cool and crazy (some people just get weirded out by the more abstractly odd things, but I think those are the cooler takes on the mythological beings the personas are based off of), then fall flat in the ugly modelling and terrible animation.
Like, I think this is a weird and disturbing design, but it's cool because of that, plus I can see how it depicts hypnos (roman personification of sleep): http://www.dokuganryu.com/scans/megaten/p3/art57.jpg
yet I saw a gameplay video of this thing and I was like "wtf is that", like I couldn't tell what it was at all, much less that there was this hanging creepy "sleeping" person there.
Most of the voice acting is great, but then there are some standout "kill me now" voices D,:
I hate to be such an antisocial 'tard, but man it's easier to get into a game when there aren't people constantly making fun of it around, shit. Not that JRPGs are serious business, but people talking does sort of "take me out," and even if the storyline and everything is silly, I do miss being absorbed anyway and uninterrupted. Ah well D,: Such is the life of someone in an age without reliable PS2 emulators, and just one TV... because regardless of silliness and cliches, I think I'd be able to enjoy it more without the commentary. I guess it's cause it's been a long time since I've been madly playing an RPG, and I wanna make the most of this temporary revival of interest.
Anyway, fun game, but it looks like it'll be SUPER LONG. I don't know how some people managed to play this more than once. It'll last me nearly the whole year...
I must have a real soft spot for robots or something. I don't know what it is about the whole "inhuman thing wanting to experience love" theme that gets to me. Except maybe Pinocchio. But yeah, A.I. - I cried, Wall-E - I shed a tear while holding back the rest, and despite the fact that I thought her acting was shit, I was always hoping Boomer in the earlier seasons of Battlestar Galactica would turn out okay, there were scenes that I thought were really depressing involving her. And "Be Human" is such a bittersweet song. Funny thing is, I get sort of annoyed when people seriously consider us making robots with feelings in the near future, and ohhh the ethical issues that would come with it. Because it's so friggin' far away, and nigh impossible. Once we make something with feelings, sentience, and an independent personality, I don't know if that's a robot anymore. We don't even know what makes us humans work the way we do, what gives us the spark of life and personality and emotion, so how are we gonna make something with real inner feelings, not just exterior expressions of apparent emotion based on outside stimuli, no matter how subtle?
So while I have been educated about how to survive robot uprisings, I'm not expecting to face anything of the sort in my lifetime.
So, Wall-E. Great movie, second part is weaker but that's what everybody says. The beginning is brilliant, the environments so atmospheric and desolate yet what goes on remains humorous and touching. I tend to roll my eyes at the sort of 'unremarkable guy falls in love with beautiful, inaccessible woman' plot, especially if it's in a movie about teenagers, where it's inevitably some nerd or geek pining over a cheerleader... but when that plot framework is set on cute robots that don't talk much in an overall good story, it's all fine. In retrospect the whole thing was maybe a bit too sweet and saccharine, and Wall E sure has a one track mind (but then again, from my experience, guys are pretty mushy and sentimental :V), but it was still really touching. So yeah, there were flaws, but it was one of those "let's combine shitloads of stuff Thun likes!" movies, so it was perfect to me. I think The Incredibles was better structured, and the characters were more interesting and flawed, but sometimes favourites aren't necessarily rational.
It helps that I'm actually the same kind of sentimental nostalgic as Wall-E is I suppose. All the time at work now I just play the songs I find sweet. I guess I'm just in that mood now. Singing along to those really dramatic, all strings and full instrumentation 60s Bacharach love songs. I mean, I fucking love This Guy's in Love with You even if most people would look at me like, "You? You, apathetic and laid back Louise? Liking something that cheesy?" Well, yeah, there's a romantic in me somewhere. I don't think Your Song by Elton John is cheesy at all on the other hand, it's just sweet, though I sort of get annoyed at these sorts of songs when they specify someone's physical features XD Green or blue eyes? Where's the love for brown or hazel?
So yeah, deep inside, I'm still a sucker for mushy things. I've just got a reputation to uphold :V
Sometimes I look at my reflection and just think "... best legs evar :D" Hey, I'm entitled to some vanity... I'm glad I'm not really plagued with any big insecurities with my appearance. Sometimes I think "wish I could have a face more like that person..." but it's sort of a quick passing thing. Yeah, I really think it's due to a few things, perhaps my lack of exposure to disney movies about princesses and the like when I was a kid, so I never had that to model myself after. My parents rarely dressed me up in nice clothes, usually I'd have these fugly tight bike short type things and a floppy t shirt, and being a dumb kid, I didn't really care. So I never got used to looking pretty or anything. And I was a bit of a rebel too, I guess I had a bit of a superiority complex, wanting to be different and more mature or something, that I wouldn't be trapped into pining over boys. So in grade 4 or so, I wrote this contract saying that I'd never get a boyfriend, and for some crazy reason I announced this to people and wanted to see if anyone else would jump in with me. I just got weird looks. And alas, I broke the contract eventually, but I think I honored it for long enough XD So for the longest time, I just had a disdain for stuff that was concerned with looks.
Now I've softened up a bit, who knows why, maybe it was stupid society or something, but I care a bit more. It's not something I should repress though, it's a part of me now and it doesn't cause me any harm, I'm still not letting anyone put a hole through my earlobe. Maybe it's also because I am an art person, and one day I was like "hey, these things I'm drawing... I wanna wear something like that". I wish I could tailor clothes now XD Uh, it's true, dressing up is kind of fun. I like how I am and how I look (well, when I've taken more showers and washed my hair... augh gotta do it at work showers tomorrow), and I don't mind expressing and showing it in a bit of a fancier presentation. That's not a cheap rationalization, is it? People should take care of how they look and all at some minimum anyway. Case in point - neckbeards. Looking like a constant basement dweller is not something to be proud of D,:
Augh it's so hard to "draw for fun" now. I'm turning into a full time work/career zombie... a poor one too D,: Piece work is BRUTAL. I mean, I think I'll be able to eat and pay rent but... ugh.... D,:
current music: Coldplay - Beautiful World
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| Saturday, April 26th, 2008
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1:26 am - Standing on the edge
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AUGH IT IS FINISHED.
In the last few weeks I have finished 1 short animated film, put together a portfolio and demo reel, survived the technical difficulty riddled industry day where all these companies come to look at our work, and spent hours upon hours waiting around in the studio to have 4 quick interviews with some of those companies. I sure am tired.
What a fucking amazing bunch of students I've graduated with. Granted, I have not seen most of the films in full, but what I have seen is really impressive. I'm thinking we're gonna sweep the Teletoon awards.
And amazing not just in the kind of stuff they can put out, but the fact that they were truly an awesome bunch. I'll miss 'em all, even the ones I'm not so fond of, because really we were some kind of big family. Y'know... just with a few weird uncles.
I'm a bit afraid about what the prospects are going to be like when there's such strong competition, but hey, keep trying!
Anyway, the I-guess-it's-alright-but-at-least-funny fruits of my labour:
THE FILM
THE DEMOREEL
I'm honestly kind of sad now, going on to that next big stage of life and possibly having to say goodbye to people I got quite friendly with. I dunno, I feel like I've really opened up (well, relative to how I used to be) in the past two years. Two years too short.
Well, anyway, best not to think too much when tired...
Now to job hunt and make some prints for Anime North, woot.
(With that I'd like to go out on a limb and just inquire if anyone knows someone who can compose original music of the same sort of flavour for the above short film. It might be a good chance for exposure, especially since I need original music to enter this into film festivals and am willing to give them a nice lengthy spot on the credits. Odd place to ask, but might as well try :V Just uh, e-mail me at negative-space@hotmail.com, yeah)
... oh fuck maybe I can't sleep yet, Ratatouille is on the movie network right now :O I need to, uh, study...
current mood: bewildered
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| Friday, March 14th, 2008
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4:48 am - TB loses everything dear to her
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Where did OVER HALF of my DS games go?
This is what I get for sticking them all in one box and fumbling with my bag waaaayy too much when rushing onto buses...
Even the one I thought I might still have at home due to lack of playing it, and maybe I could trade it in and make up for my poor lost Elite Beat Agents... even that is gone.
Augh the tragedy which is Zombocom, my Animal Crossing Town D,: Well, at least I didn't have anything really personal there, never played it with friends so I don't have any cute notes or letters in there. Still, I've got the cute patterns I've made and some silly constellations D,: And whoever has it will probably just delete it all or trade it in to someone who'll delete it all, aghhh.
And Elite Beat Agents... oh the high scores me, my sister, and her boyfriend have amassed. He had just unlocked a new song for me too! Blargh! And someone at school started wanting to play it with me too, augh this is just painful. It's a pretty damn fun game too, perfect for portable DS play D,: Sooooo recently received, too.
At least the most important things are still here, the ever useful and entertaining Mario Kart, and my newly purchased game.
Along with animation stress, this is really depressing :( And so easily avoided! But I let everything of worth to me slip through my fingers out of absent mindedness. XO The fact that I have ALL these empty cases at home, so depressing to look at, yeah :( And the $$$ value... I don't want to know :( Most were presents, so I'm not stressing out about my own spending... just... the principle :( Crap...
I hate losing things of high monetary value, I'm a bit of a capital-obsessed hoarder. It's been engrained in me. So now I'm wondering how much I can get for a used copy of PS2 Battlefield 2... and uh... maybe my whole PS1. Looking at Ebay it seems there are a lot to be sold and little demand :V
Oddly the price of that game and a (totally archaic) Playstation console I imagine would still not equal the value of all these teensy little portable games!
current mood: guilty
current music: all those elite beat agent tunes goin through my head
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| Monday, March 10th, 2008
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9:10 pm - All things Multiplayer
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Whooaaa, I got so wasted last night. I feel pretty embarrassed about it still, 'cause like people in the place actually did notice how drunk I got and one of the staff actually helped walk me out of there back to my apartment. He seemed so concerned! Man, I feel like next time I'm down there I need to give the fellow a thank you note. An eloquently written thank you note as to demonstrate that I'm REALLY not some kind of lush. Haha, wow. Never again!
I tried playing Mario Kart in my inebriated state, I usually get 1st against the CPUs, but my performance was REALLY bad and I was certainly still trying. A lesson: if you can't friggin' drive drunk in mario kart, drinking and driving properly in real life is impossible!
I'm really looking for more co-op or social games (barring the obvious party games). So here're some short snippets and impressions of multiplayer games, past, present, and future:
( Read more... )
current music: SSBB - Mute City
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| Sunday, March 9th, 2008
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11:45 am - I sure do miss...
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Windows! And more importantly, multiplayer games on the computer D,:
Well, anyone have DS friend codes to share? :D
Anyway, yeah, I miss the RO days (uh, what a game though), and PSO D,: I'd be sooo friggin' happy if the upcoming FF: Crystal Chronicles for DS had wifi play, but nooo, Nintendo hates everyone. Otherwise I'd be adventuring with the likes of Gut Funk and whoever else has a DS here. But yeah, friends codes for Mario Kart would be cool.
Also, I didn't notice those last few comments on my FREAK OUT post, so thank you Kali for the primer! Thankfully I'm not TOO horrible at driving, starting and stopping are just fine, I do turns okay, lane changes are a breeze, just augh parking related things. So we can at least bet on one thing - no one will be killed by me! Hurrah!
I sure met a lot of cool people with the Prontera Parish, and I know how much Ktar loves reminiscing, so maybe later today I'll reminisce here for his viewing pleasure :V I feel like I'm too different a person now to really interact in the same way though.
I had a dream where I hugged Stephen Colbert and the BF at the same time. Haha rock on.
I went to a classical music concert last night, the played some Smetana, Strauss, Mozart, and Dvorak. The conductor was great, very energetic. He also had a corny but utterly charming sense of humor.
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| Friday, March 7th, 2008
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1:04 am - MAXIMUM GEEK
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Probably my weirdest crazy niche interest is in video game music.
Anyway, I wanna highlight some of the best things to come out of it - minus the obvious (Uematsu, Mitsuda). I'm going for the underrated, or maybe even rearrangements of the popular that I think are both unique and seriously overlooked. Okay, maybe not just the underrated, because I admit my favourite cover bands tend to be the ones people already know, but then again, they ARE video game cover bands and arrangers, which is already pretty niche... :V There's a lot of embeds for your listening convenience, and also a livejournal cut for your friends list convenience!
( Read more... )
current mood:  sleepy
current music: durr everything
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| Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
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6:08 pm - long rant about ticks, oh yeah music too :V
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Oh, wicked, new Radiohead album out next week. Now, why is this post-worthy? 'Cause they're cutting out the middle man and asking fans (or potential new listeners) to tell them what they think their music is worth. Basically, pay what you want.
Oddly enough this system might make this the first collection of music in a long time that I'll actually pay money for. Crazy! Plus, it's nice to know that this money is unfiltered and goes right to the people who deserve it.
But of course, this is an isolated little experiment, as only artists with a solid fanbase already could pull this off.
( And now for something completely different and strongly opinionated and tangential and bad for your health etc. )
current music: Purcell - Dido's Lament
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| Sunday, August 19th, 2007
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1:46 pm - foodfoodfoodfoodfood
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I've been reeeally restricting my money spending here, but goddamn is Vancouver filled with too much food. I'm starting to think that maybe Vancouver has more sushi restaurants than Japan (seeing as how sushi is, in fact, not something that the Japanese eat daily), granted, with less quality and lower prices... which I don't mind at all. But man, it's like multicultural food paradise. I've seen Mongolian, Ethiopian, Afghan, Russian, Lebanese, Phillipino, Morrocan. Of course, I always end up going after the $5.95 for 18 pieces of sushi deals, playing it safe... but goddamn I'm going to try something completely and utterly new in the next two weeks!
Man, I'm already compiling the list of places to eat at in my head... well, trying to hit the right balance of inexpensive and slightly more higher end places.
And there is an ungodly amount of gelato places here. I did try one place (Mondo Gelato) and I thought the Horlick's flavoured gelato was a bit too sweet (Horlick's, if you don't know, is a sweet malty drink mix, very nice stuff, way better in candy form, which doesn't seem to be sold in North America anymore...), but gosh, the cream puff flavoured gelato was wonderful. I sure wouldn't mind a cream puff right now. Next time? I'm going right after that biscotti gelato.
I think my sister would enjoy it here as well, I hear that most restaurants are very well prepared to offer vegetarian alternatives. Not sure if that includes vegan too...
I'm really quite addicted to food. D:
http://www.vancouvermagazine.com/restaurants/Worldfare.shtml Oh yes, so much <3
"The jerk chicken, slow-cooked for an hour and a half after an overnight marinade heavy in Scotch bonnet peppers, is superb." What the fuck are Scotch bonnet peppers? Who cares! Whatever they are, they sound good.
And baklava. So sweet, but so good.
Honestly, I don't think I'm down the road to being a fan of East European food, my try with German food wasn't that great XD And I prefer the Chinese interpretation of borsche to the traditional European original.
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| Saturday, July 28th, 2007
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2:59 pm
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I think that the reason why I'm overwhelmed with stuff to do in Vancouver is not just the fact that I have limited time here (and a lot of laziness - I like my days of doing nothing!), it's also because... there's probably plenty of stuff to do in downtown Toronto too, but I don't live in downtown Toronto!
Now that I have a PS2 (oddly, haven't been using it much, this will likely be remedied when I'm back home), I must get the following:
MGS3 (and I'll suck so much at this, I assure you)
Disgaea (kamikaze penguins in a humorous strategy RPG that doesn't suck? Yes!)
Persona 3 (It's finally out! Here's one of many reviews: http://www.deeko.com/ps2/reviewDetail.asp?id=874)
What I'm liking about Persona 3 as I hear more about it is that despite taking place in the Japanese High School environment, there don't seem to be too many very typical anime stock characters in the limelight (so far I don't see any random shrine-maidens). It seems pretty much drawn from, well, regular teenagers. Which is something I also liked about Persona 2 - the characters were pretty regular (Maya was a journalist, Ulala worked in a clothing store and shared an apartment with Maya, Katsuya was a cop, etc.). Like, an attempt to recreate modern Japan without the usual anime stereotypes.
Silly as it sounds, I'm also wondering if there was meant any kind of subtle social commentary here. I mean - the threat is monsters taking away the will to live from people, a condition called Apathy? It's extra odd considering that our teenage protagonists unleash their powers by shooting themselves in the head... I don't know how those add up to any message, it's probably a bizarre coincidence of the game designer and writers just putting together stuff that sounds/looks cool.
Having played games like Harvest Moon and The Sims, I welcome the life-sim aspect of the game, especially if that replaces the traditional grind-by-fighting-random-monsters to gain stats. And it makes sense too - if Personae are extensions of aspects of your personality, they should be strengthened by strengthening the individual. Especially if the life-sim part includes interesting dialogue and watching some storyline unfold, rather than just the spending 15 minutes at the toilet life-sim of The Sims.
My own stupid issue is... aww, for a game where you really do get to shape the identity of the protagonist, I wanna be a girl D,: Nothing personal, but I don't wanna date girls D,: Of course, that would mean programming a shitload of different dialogue and game events, probably :V
And I don't think I'll ever finish Persona 2. I think my saves were messed up, the bosses were frustrating, and the game was hella long. I MAYBE got through half of it, and that already took a while.
Another one that I'd really like to finish still left on hiatus with save files in limbo? Vagrant Story. Gosh that game was getting awesome.
Also, Beowulf trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/beowulf/
I'm sure many are amazed at the realism of the characters, but sometimes it's slipping into the uncanny valley (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_Valley), and... okay, here comes my rant about art direction and decisions.
Choosing to do everything in CG was a deliberate decision. But... why? Okay, I can see why Robert Rodriguez chose to have all backdrops computer generated for Sin City - maybe the lighting could be more easily handled that way. I can see why A Scanner Darkly was rotoscoped - if it's about drug use and drug culture, then the shakey rotoscope view does add more to feeling like an unreal hallucination.
But I didn't realize Beowulf's story had anything to do with creepy humans-that-don't-look-quite-human. Or what the point is of hiring Angelina Jolie to act and everything, only to just use her acting through mo-cap (and despite the level of the technology, it doesn't capture enough subtle movements in the face) on a model that's supposed to look exactly like her anyway.
Honestly, what's the point of this creative decision? Other than to flaunt technology and get people to watch in awe at the "cool" factor? I will agree that on the technology side, this is the best I've seen of realistic CG humans. But aside from situations where we NEED realistic CG humans (crazy stunts, crazy spiderman actions), what's even the point of that?
And to top it all off... GAIMAN! How did you end up writing for this movie? D,: Just... stay away from movies. Please. Back to comics. And... comics with your original characters, not that Marvel 1602 crap. Back to crazy non-Tolkien-esque fantasy novels, even.
current music: Iron and Wine - Jezebel
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| Monday, July 23rd, 2007
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9:24 pm - Instead of ranting... I'll thinly disguise sparse ranting
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I will talk about mostly trivial things (which I admit will probably STILL be relevant...) and link to far more eloquent dissections of feminist issues if anyone is interested. And disperse such links in a sneaky manner throughout my trivial blabbering to get people to read them. Bwahahah.
Echidne (one of my favourites) far more eloquently tackles the bizarro fear of emasculation/feminization: http://echidneofthesnakes.blogspot.com/2007_06_01_archive.html#4246589441528910429
The comments are good too. She also seems to keep out the trolls, thank god.
"As long as humans are biologically human, there's no danger of the race losing either it's feminine or masculine dimension. How those dynamics express themselves in the life of any particular individual is really not anyone's business to dictate. It's likely to vary over the course of an individual life, or even over the course of an individual day. Everybody's different." I think this also brings up something else - these vague terms, masculinity and femininity, not only change with how society changes (if in a society women are often doing things that are associated with masculine strength, by the dictionary definition, the idea of femininity should be associated with strength as well), but also in range of expression. I've not quite thought this whole idea through yet, but it's definitely got a link to the fact that traditional gender roles are restrictive. Really, they shouldn't be. One reason why masculinity is perceived as fragile may be the fact that we've set such a limit on what it means to be a man. Unfortunately, as Echidne points out, what "masculine" means is often closely related to "feminine," and too often people perceive being a man as rejecting any possible feminine trait. Such is the hate of gay men. And the reaction to this? Instead of allowing flexibility to the idea of "masculine," the wingnuts will try to squash the idea of womanhood into simply mother, potential mother (extreme case - daughters sent to purity balls), or whores (everyone else - immoral! Most likely feminists). When really, from any real-world observation, being a man or a woman can mean a lot of things.
To a point where it can mean so many things that the idea of "masculinity" becomes void. We won't need to be so damn concerned about it anymore. In that case, "masculinity" is already outdated. Hell, it was outdated a long time ago - men came in many shapes, sizes, and personalities already.
Oh, yeah, trivial stuff:
I think I made salmon RIGHT today. Well, mostly right. I don't get why when I cook it seems the house fills with a faint smoke. What am I doing wrong here? Anyway, at least one piece of salmon turned out great. Cooked pretty well outside, but inside... it wasn't raw, but damn it was moist and lovely.
http://ourbodiesourblog.org/blog/2007/06/fox_and_cbs_reject_new_condom_commercial.php Fox, purveyor of all things sex and violence and stupid humor, is trying to be moral here? Condom commercials must stress health related reasons? Isn't pregnancy a women's health issue? I'm amazed at the idiocy and hypocrisy.
More trivial: Who thought "Trojan" was a good name for a condom brand? Is this supposed to be some clever irony? It makes it all a bit creepy.
Sometimes I wish my dad would tell me again to stop acting silly because it's not feminine and boys won't like it. Why? Just so I can give a piece of my mind. I know that's a childish desire, but I just want to ask him... what if my prime directive in life isn't to hook in a man? Maybe my prime directive in life is to just enjoy it, and being silly and laughing loudly is how I enjoy it. And if I wanted to hook in a man, I'd hook in a man who would revel in my enjoyment of life. He only said it once to me and my sister, as we were both... I don't know what the hell we were joking about, but I'm sure we were loud and obnoxious about it. Still, the memory stays with me, and it's more significant to me now than ever. Not because I was really too personally affected by it - I was a smart girl in this regard, I knew better than to feel shamed or quiet myself. It's significant because I realize now that there are plenty of girls who do end up feeling shamed, have their goals redirected, or quiet themselves because of pressure to do so. Plenty of grown women too.
I really like freaking out people with my contrasts. I don't like having them change their whole perception of me, but the times back in grade school when I'd swear and the whole class would look at my in disbelief, those were priceless.
Also, brilliant plan: If I ever get wed, replace the traditional wedding march music with - because I fucking HATE that music - the Imperial March. It will shock, awe, and perhaps disgust, but I hope at least a few find it awesome and hilarious. Okay, maybe it's a bit tacky, but I'm working out the kinks.
I was sent a large amount of butterscotch fudge (quite sweet, but very delicious), and despite it having sat there for weeks on end, it was still soft and creamy... until recently. When I foolishly left the lid off and ran off to work.
I HAVE FOUND MY TABLET PEN JUST NOW, REJOICE.
Okay, after your sudden dose of feminism, and my joyous discovery of this pen, I think I'll aim for my next entry to be art/animation industry related. I've been feeling really unmotivated in that area, and it'll get me looking for inspiration.
Terrible, because I've suddenly been struck with another little dissection I wanna go into - what "object" means. Probably the quickest assumption is that I'm talking about viewing someone as a sex object. Well, it's a bit of that. BUT, in relation to, say, the whole dynamic of gaze that I linked to to in the last post. The difference between the subject (the thing doing) and the object (being done to). I think people throw around "sex object" quite a bit without really understanding what it means. But there are other kinds of objectification too that are relevant. And the object, again, is not the thing acting, it is always the thing acted upon. And there's a lot of ways to go from there.
And though I can't think of any specific post she has made that is standing out to me at this very moment, Happy's blog is probably one of my favourites (though as of late she's sort of... disappeared off the face of the earth!), and I'll just grab whatever post of hers that I think is decent: http://happyfeminist.typepad.com/happyfeminist/2007/03/feminism_isnt_a.html
http://girlinthemachine.blogspot.com/search/label/Final%20Fantasy And yes, I'd agree that Terra Branford is the best damn female protagonist we've had in a video game.
I took this online quiz that I'm too lazy to dig up now... but apparently this journal is rated NC-17! I am, frankly, not surprised at all. D:
current music: Yoko Kanno - Replica
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1:33 am - We already live in a fictional world
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First of all, I'd like you to look at this: http://www.uvm.edu/~tstreete/semiotics_and_ads/introduction.html
Then this: http://www.uvm.edu/~tstreete/powerpose/index.html
This post is, yes, feminist relevant, but there are ideas here that can apply to other things as well.
If there's anything I'd have to thank feminism for... well, okay, two things. Number one, greater confidence. Number two: it's really expanded my mind. Gets me thinking out of the box.
It certainly has given me a greater understanding of the power of image, particularly when, say, people look at a movie like Grease (I abhor the subtext of it, and if you want to know why, just ask and you will receive) and say "It's just a movie." Much like "It's just an image," when really there's an ideology still being spoken, and, if the images are powerful enough: a myth being created.
( Read more... )
current music: Yoko Kanno - Torukia
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| Saturday, July 21st, 2007
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6:18 pm - Pole Dancing for Equality!
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A great little satire from The Colbert Report, and why not open this serious piece with some comedy?
So on these pole dancing classes and other similar phenomena - It might personally make one feel good, and there's nothing inherently anti-feminist in the mere act of stripping, but there's nothing inherently feminist or empowering about it either.
The odd thing is that when people praise this sort of display as one of embracing female sexuality, they fail to see that stuff like pole dancing and posing for Playboy all comes from... you know, the world of porn FOR MEN. As in, these women going to pole dancing classes are imitating strippers and porn stars who in turn are simulating and merely putting out an image of pleasure - for the sake of men! They're in the business of mostly faking sexual enjoyment. It has jack shit to do with their own female sexuality or whatever.
Then we get into the idea that stripping is powerful because of using one's feminine wiles (or other such nonsense) to get power over men. Which doesn't actually make sense.
With something like stripping... you can arouse them but the men don't need to actually give you anything - the exchange of money at a strip club? That's just the rules of the place, it's a customer transaction. If I were to randomly strip for a stranger (... uh, no, it ain't gonna happen), what power am I really exercising? He MIGHT get aroused IF he finds me attractive (another conundrum - this so-called power is not something all women possess, it generally depends on what a mostly male-dominated culture promotes as attractive), but he doesn't need to give me anything in return, 'specially not money if we aren't in a strip club environment. I'm merely an entertainer, and whatever false sense of "Power" I may appear to have is easily revoked anyway.
The silliest thing I hear is that strippers are in power because they EXPLOIT MEN. Golly, I didn't know that men are being forced to enter strip clubs, and the poor things, paying money for a show. Yes, people, it's a show, it's just WORK that these women are getting paid for. Regardless of what strip club lovers might like to think, those women aren't up there having multiple orgasms and getting paid for it.
Like honestly, those who do believe this - okay, so strippers, porn stars, playboy bunnies - they have the power to... maybe get some guy to gawk and get hard. Not necessarily anything else. And that's only if he thinks they're hot. How much real power is that?
Maybe learning how to pole dance is personally fun for some, a good workout, and even if they wanna do it for their husbands, there's nothing I'm against here. But saying it's empowering in a feminist sense? That's a stretch.
There seems to be a lot more discussion about this in feminist communities now, and I guess we can owe it to Ariel Levy's book, Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture, a critique of today's culture which touts Playboy themed accessories, pole dancing, and really sleazy t-shirts as "female empowerment." And the women who buy into it. Haven't read it myself, but I'd like to get my hands on it.
And something I think most people miss, I sure did, from a very insightful commenter on this feministing.com comments thread (http://feministing.com/archives/007393.html#comments):
I have always had a hard time with the logic that "if it makes her feel empowered, she IS empowered." When dancing around a pole for men or stripping for them is seen as a form of empowerment, it only points out how few venues for power women actually have. Feeling empowered doesn't make it so. Often those feelings of empowerment, when examined closely, are vis-a-vis other women. For example, some women who get breast implants claim to feel empowered by them...because men are looking at them now. What this really means is that "I am better looking than those other, small breasted women." It doesn't mean, "Wow, people really listen to my opinions and respect me." I just don't think that we can say this is about empowerment. It's about competition among women.
I'm not sure if I completely agree, but it's quite an insight and gets me thinking.
Well, that's my attempt at a fairly concise and clear (haha, me clear?) summary of this.
current music: The Decemberists - The Bachelor and the Bride
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2:29 am - The Ridiculously Long Tribute to Yoko Kanno
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If you want to hear good music, please keep reading! Or just skip down to the song links and descriptions below! I'm sure you'll find something you like. I'm very into sharing this music because I want you all to experience the brain melting goodness. A lot of genres are presented here, so don't fret... there's a lot, but be patient!
I've just encountered the glorious soundtracks for Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (the 3rd of the OST series) and for the movie, Ghost in the Shell: Solid State Society.
Honestly, I've never really watched Ghost in the Shell anything (except for one episode, which was surprisingly cute, involving these spider-like tanks fitted with inquisitive AI), but I'll visit these soundtracks for one reason: Yoko Kanno.
See, Mrs. Kanno is the person I nominate to be cryogenically frozen and restored in the future, if I could only pick one person to cryogenically freeze.
I will now give my case for this choice. Let's go flying* with Mrs. Kanno.
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current mood:  accomplished
current music: Yoko Kanno - From the Rooftop, Somewhere in the Silence (Sniper's Theme)
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| Thursday, July 19th, 2007
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12:16 am - Original content? NEVER!
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My head is a pile of mush right now and frankly it's been a pile of mush since a few months ago. Even though I'm acknowledging this now, nah, this isn't a moment of clarity, I'm still high.
No! It's not drugs! Certainly partly a chemical reaction though.
That combined with the want to post music videos in this journal means...
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current mood:  indescribable
current music: Sebastian Tellier - La Ritournelle
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| Thursday, July 5th, 2007
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9:09 pm
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The servers at work seem to have a vast collection of music, quite a variety. While I've mostly found crosses between hip hop and electronica, which I can't say I really care for, I also found a real gem. It's singing legend Ella Fitzgerald featured in this wonderfully high quality recording. I loved "Sophisticated Lady," but it wasn't until "How High the Moon," that I realized, wow, this woman has a godly voice. I've never had so much fun just listening to something, especially as she went into her infamous scat singing. The kind of sounds she can make so easily are incredible, and the range. Another really charming thing was... uh... shen she forgot lyrics! Apparently this was how she started scat singing, replacing forgotten words with nonsense syllables. Anyway, so she's singing Mack the Knife (this song is so win), and she totally mangles the latter part of the lyrics. A site even has her version: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/e/ella+fitzgerald/mack+the+knife_20045647.html
But she did it with nary a glitch, it sounded great, it was even more fun, and it showed great improvisational ability. Now, I wish I were so good as to have done that when I sang this song in a karaoke place (with quite an audience too!) and completely mangled it.
Youtube quality is iffy, but if you wanna sample a bit of the First Lady of Song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_H_qLqPjq48 How High the Moon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VACh4z58qAo Sophisticated Lady
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yKgAEkCKxY Summertime (with Louis Armstrong too)
On the subject of truly entertaining female performers from generations past, you probably haven't heard much of Earth Kitt. Hell, I don't even know how I stumbled upon this video. When I watch this (or hear Ella's crazy scat singing), I feel like, man, we have to be less precious with the female performers. I like seeing silly, happy, not necessarily typically flattering things. Y'know... something that doesn't fit either the demure or sexy category. Y'know, to be able to make faces or a funny sound.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ5VaBgXzuM "I Want to Be Evil"! (I think my elementary school self would totally agree... thus the whole bringing rather inappropriate images found around the home to the schoolyard incident... was so tired of looking so prim and proper). When she sings "little evil me," it's cute and funny and entertaining. A funny, purring voice too.
I feel like I have more random things to link, but I'll save them for another day.
And by god does the Stardust movie trailer look TERRIBLE. I'm pretty much completely turned off now. And just because I mention this, doesn't mean that you should go ahead and look it up on google. Please, don't.
current music: Ella Fitzgerald - Misty
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| Sunday, June 24th, 2007
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10:13 pm - random crap no one cares about :D
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Wow, there's so much stuff I wanna do all of a sudden.
Okay, I wanna try playing the piano again... too bad this house doesn't have anything like a piano to use. I was doing a decent job teaching myself before... ooh, I so still want to play Gymnopedie No. 1 by Erik Satie, and Street Spirit by Radiohead (it sounds simple enough to play the guitar part on piano, haha, all I wanna do is sing along to it). That song makes me wanna go to like, East Hastings with a freshly loaded (BATTERIES, I NEED BATTERIES) digital camera and make a fairly generic music video that would raise social consciousness about people on the street, on Youtube =P
I also want to figure out my 4th year film, ugh. No, I can't make a frickin' music video if I want to ever legally possibly profit out of it.
Anyway, Annecy 2007 happened, and here are some of the shorts by Gobelins from this year:
http://www.gobelins.fr/galerie/animation/gen2007-04-Chronos.htm Pretty amusing
http://www.gobelins.fr/galerie/animation/gen2007-01-Arche.htm
As usual, you can look at the rest of their Win and Awesome here: http://www.gobelins.fr/galerie/animation/
Haha, I am still deliberating whether to post my group's final, uh, film here, but with the help of Ktarthan, I did find another group's film. It's funny, so watch!:
And as most of you would know, I have joined, dun dun duh, Facebook. And gosh, I'm checking it a lot. That's kinda disturbing. I don't think I'm me anymore.
I'm a bit confused still about the purpose of many of Facebook's features. Like... the gifts thing? Granted, I got a cool one today (ROBOTS), but what's with the whole system? Pay a dollar to let someone put a piece of fairly boring clipart on their Facebook page? What's up with that?
Though, I get really bored some days and just start toying with the applications, so it does relieve some ennui (which, by the way, shouldn't be there at all, as there's so much more to do in life. But hey, this is the modern world).
Vancouver's cool, by the way. Their transit system? Can't be beat. Weekends are awesome. And yeah, I'll just keep putting out these empty praises because I'm too lazy to get into depth about it. Oh yeah, shitload of vintage clothes stores. I don't think I've really changed my attitude about how I look or anything. I mean, I didn't really care what people thought back in the day (unless I wore something backwards, haha... yes, that's happened), so I'd throw on really ugly turtlenecks all the time. And I still don't really care what people think, just that I suddenly realized, hey, this stuff looks neat, and I'm gonna finally indulge myself. It was weird though, I got accosted by some makeup booth attendant at Sears on Thursday. As usual, I couldn't muster up a "no"...
Oh yeah, I totally need to make this disclaimer because I feel I've misled some people: No, Elliott Smith does not always sound like he wants to kill himself. "Independence Day" is a nice, hopeful song! "Baby Britain" is jaunty! Okay, so he DID kill himself, but, that's besides the point. And Radiohead, I swear, it's not all "down with the man!" I mean, some themes might sound that way, but criticizing some things about modern life doesn't always mean tracing it back to, ooh, evil government. Hell, there's a song that sounds like it's just about... cannibalism... and one that might possibly be about vampires, figurative or literal. It's fun to just think of literal vampires.
One day my sister was sleeping on the couch, and she woke up for a moment and looked up at me. She said, "sardines?" Then she went back to sleep.
I'll never know. It's the sardine conspiracy. I feel like a sardine among many other sardines each morning on the Skytrain...
I want a Strong Sad LJ mood icon set. That would be so LJ.
current mood:  weird
current music: Star Salzman - Forever Until Tomorrow (Chrono Trigger OCRemix)
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| Sunday, June 17th, 2007
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9:32 pm
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Since Nichole asked, and I love me some time wasting, here's my favourite video game idle-menu-screen video:
Actually, I dunno if it's my favourite, but despite being seriously dated now, it's so memorable. It was pretty epic for its time... and though released I think around the same time as FF7, the shots and direction seem so much more cinematic. Not excempt from crazy photoshoppy effects and occasionally weird looking animation... but those were the days.
I really liked the mood and setting of Panzer Dragoon Saga too, so I'm quite biased here.
Other than that, there're the staples... Chrono Cross opening, and... oh yeah, Chrono Trigger!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjmbpbTeVlE
I'm getting all nostalgic here D,:
current music: Chrono Trigger - Main Theme
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| Sunday, May 20th, 2007
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1:21 pm - A painful amount of free time.
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Oh great, I bring home a shitload of Flash files from work to home to get wrapped up over the weekend, and inexplicably, they just don't work. I downloaded EVERY VERSION OF FLASH in attempt to get these files to work. Nope, nada. My whole Saturday wasted. And I don't have the access to go up to the studio on weekends. Time to either sit here and stress the frick out... or browse the internet for sweet escapism! In fact, I'll even share.
Some of my favourite selections from Wonderland (http://crystaltips.typepad.com/) as of late:
http://tiffany.vox.com/library/photo/6a00bf76d0a9b7438300c2251ed8bc8fdb.html This is the most perfect cake ever. Eat my shorts (not that I even wear them), Martha Stewart.
http://lostmitten.vox.com/library/post/nintendo-ds-case.html Earthbound themed Nintendo DS case. So lovingly crafted :O Makes me wanna take up knitting.
http://www.ncsxshop.com/cgi-bin/shop/YJN-ACH3.html Little Animal Crossing toys. Reminds me of the cubicle playsets from Thinkgeek: http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/cubegoodies/722a/ Living in a cubicle doesn't resonate with me, but those office zombies are great.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cakecraft/sets/72157600080736777/ You win this round, Alliance >:O
http://arcadeheaven.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/pkedhyper.png Asteroids shoes look so stylish. That's the thing about retro games... simple designs are so versatile.
http://www.inhabitat.com/2006/05/09/more-tetris-shelves/ What I said up there. Also, my choice of home decor, for sure.
http://www.popgadget.net/2006/05/the_puzzle_floo.php And again, if I could afford more than just Ikea...
http://www.wearoftherodent.com/us/products/detail/?id=999 Now to actually PLAY this game.
http://www.threadless.com/submission/85912/Also_Sprach_Miyamoto I don't tend to like wearing t-shirts now (I'm more interested in neat cuts than neat prints, ah, shit, am I becoming a fashionista?), but I'll sit back and admire.
And now for Star Wars too: http://www.bountee.com/members/design/view.jsp?id=4774 Man, I have a zillion t shirts and all of them are tacky tourist souvenirs. Then again, if I wore something like this back in the day, I'd probably come home from school needing a new pair of glasses every night. Such cool non-geeky designs too, just look at the Most Popular list on the right, man, that crow one looks good, and the one with the trees and the fairy. I don't even LIKE fairies...
I wonder if someone has been so risque to put the USB symbol on their lower back (hey, I ain't doing it). That'd be somewhat clever in all the wrong ways. Remember kids, tattoos are permanent!
http://gaygamer.net/2007/03/worlds_dorkiest_and_worst_tatt_1.html Worst tattoo? Aww, I like HTML and it's clever and easy to cover up. Better than all those burning skulls and fairies and shit I always see. And I like the simplicity. When tattoos get really colourful, it seems that not many artists know how to colour coordinate. And with age, it just fades and looks like... yeah, mud. I dunno, too many tacky tattoos out there. So I approve of the clever.
That Feist cover of "Inside and Out" by the Bee Gees is terribly catchy. I can't get it out of my head XO
And now for something completely different: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaF638MBSAE
I want! Buncha other trailers for it too if you look a bit further on Youtube. I can't believe people are complaining that it's not realistic. Christ, most games aren't realistic anyway no matter how you dress them up. There's like an intellectual honesty here instead when I look at it that way. Games are fun, and they should look fun too! Oh man, that subtle cel-shading, and the cool fire effects. And awesome music. Reminds me very much of The Incredibles, which is a very good thing.
current mood: blar stress
current music: Garbage - You Look So Fine
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thunderblossom's journal
