as you may or may not have noticed, this online journal has fallen to the wayside as of late.  i guess the more settled i became here in london, the less inclined i felt to write about it.  or maybe i just got lazy.  either way, the big news today is that i'm moving.  i've set up a page on myspace.com and am going to keep a blog there.  anyone interested or severely bored can check it out via the link below.  thanks for reading, and i hope to see you on the other side!

darcy's myspace

xx

i've been unemployed for over a month now. having a break over xmas was nice. not having to go back to work the day after new years felt alright as well. having no real reason to get out of bed in the morning for 30 days in a row, though, is starting to take its toll.

going back to ushering was, is, and shall never be an option. i tried applying to various temp agencies, but apparantly you need to have 'office experience' or they're not 'interested'. it looks like harrods may be my only hope for a decent paying job, and it looks like they may be coming to the rescue. supposedly they want me back there, and might actually have something lined up for me, but getting back to me with the specifics doesn't seem to be their number one priority. i'll keep you posted.

the past few weeks have been a mixed bag of emptiness and wacky fun.

mike's 30th birthday came the weekend after new years and was set up to be a fun but not overdone night. it wound up eclipsing new years on all the fun-o-meters, perhaps because there were no expectations. the night started simple but funky with a curry at an indian in soho, then back to ours for a couple of drinks before marching to a nearby club/dive called the 414 where we made up possibly half of the entire night's population and spent the next 5 hours coming up and dipping down and dancing and being the best. leisurely walk back to mine for tea, bid everyone good morning and its a 10am lights out for bed.

i've had a few unexpected and wild saturday nights with kieran of late. light saber fights at 3am before sitting to his bar for double gin and sodas and hours of conversing in french. yeah, maybe that doesn't seem all that wild, but i'm excluding the bits that result in us being up until 2pm the next day. oh, and we completely killed my supply of screech one night playing video games and being way more drunk than everyone else. that one was special.

i roasted my first chicken monday night! i threw some baby potatoes in the same pan, and then in another i had carrots, pasnips, butternut squash, broccoli, red onion and garlic cloves all drizzled in olive oil and herbs. i was a bit nervous about the chicken, and assured mike and matthew that one of us would probably die because of it, but it came out so absolutely perfect, and the veg was delicious. so, feeling brave, today i made a soup from the leftovers! while it did turn out really really tasty, i will admit i had no idea the pot was going to boil down so much. luckily, there was enough to feed the four of us, with bread, but only just. lesson learned for next time, by which i mean this weekend when i cook my second roast chicken and follow it up with soup the next day!

i'd really like to start working again. unemployment is a strange thing; the more you wind up having time to yourself, the more you wind up feeling lost.

...

here are various sets of photos from various episodes over the last 3 months or so. click the link to see them all - apologies to those on dialup as there will be an aweful lot of photos to load in there.

(sorry it took me so long...)

( click me to see the photo page )

its been a long, hectic, strange, exciting, wonderful, wintery month.

december is like the world's longest landing pad - on the approach you know you're getting close to arriving at something you've been anticipating for a long time, and then you touch down on it and its all jolts and bumps and belly flops and toothy grins until you finally get to the end and the ride stops, the journey complete; something new waits for you to step outside and discover it and with that a whole new journey begins.

the grotto is no more. i escaped alive: suit tattered, dignity in tact. there were struggles and there were breezes, threats of violence and tears of joy, children and their bile everywhere, and ultimately the satisfaction of a difficult job well done. would i go back again? probably never. all in all i don't regret a single moment of my time in the grotto and i'll take more from it than i ever could have put in/have taken from me, but once was enough. the big question remaining now is: will i ever go back to harrods?

i made my first lazagne the week leading up to christmas. again, having never attempted this dish before, i decided it was best to invite as many people over as i had plates to serve with - you know, just to make things interesting. that day was really fun. beth had to get out to kingston to drop off her computer and pick up stuff she needed for her trip home over christmas, so i went with her in matthew's car, through south london all the way to the edge where kingston lies like its own bussling little town on the thames. a quick stop in at beth's flat and then off for a walkabout to a pub on the river for an eclectic feast of mussels, nachos and chips. after picking up matthews suit for beth's friend's wedding at top shop we headed over to the skate shop where beth got matthew his christmas present - a spanking new deck with a graphic of the underground tube map as roots to a tree growing topside. in sainsbury's there was a bit of a rushed shop for ingredients after losing track of the time, then a suprisingly quick journey through rush hour traffic took us back home to camberwell. i wound up cooking while entertaining for a party of 10, which didn't make things any easier but was at least good fun - i even relinquished some of my cumpulsivity in the kitchen and let anna help with the salad, for which james brought along some amazing homemade croutons. the lazagne sauce was my own concoction of sausage and spinach, which i can safely say was delicious, though could have been a little less thick as the noodles dried out a bit once it all went in the over. bob saved the day there, though, with a quick tip regarding boiled water being poured in around the edges. maybe it was the fact that everyone had downed at least two glasses of sparkling wine on relatively empty stomachs before dinner was served, but praises came down from the masses for my better-late-than-never, first-time-ever lazagne. a lot of wine and several mugs of a new drink i'd invented that night later (earl grey tea, milk and bailey's - james dubbed it the white english), and the night was declared a good time had by all.

with the closing down of the grotto on christmas eve (45 minutes late, after the store closed, due to 3 of the 4 cameras going down in the final hour!!) i was finally a free man, and my first act of freedom was to catch a train (albeit at the last minute) to norwich that very night to spend christmas with beth and her family. this was my first christmas away from home, and thanks to the curl family it was an absolute delight. that night beth and i went out for pints and then clubbing, not getting into bed until well after four in the morning. a few hours later its christmas day and we're up and driving to aunt jenny's in suffolk where beth and i strolled along the beach, the nuclear power plant visible off in the distance down the shoreline. back in norwich it was naptime for darcy, then awake an hour later to meet the rest of the dinner guests and sit down to a fabulous meal of turkey, two kinds of stuffing (one made with pork belly and bacon!) roasted vegetables, sprouts, gravy, the works. after my team reigned supreme at pictionary, we bid farewell to the guests and beth and i sat down to open up the stockings santa left for us! in all my time away i'd never felt more at home. boxing day was a walk along a different beach with family and friends, through sand dunes with dips and climbs, raibows over crashing waves and the discovery of a seal pup seperated from its mother. naturally i clubbed it. people all tried to hold me back so i had to club them, too. greenpeace got some footage of it all going down with alec baldwin on the sidelines providing commentary: 'the savage newfoundlander, or newfie as we all know him, cannot resist the urge to destroy a cute, defenseless, innocent life for no other reason than its own ammusement.' the video is currently circulating throughout the veagan pot-luck network. it was either that, or we called animal rescue. i can't remember. that night the cold i'd been battling since the 23rd felt a mighty blow when, having gone to bed at 8pm, i racked up a much needed 12 hours of sleep. that morning we took george, beth's aged greyhound, for a walk through the park and around the pond by the university, treking through the inch or so of snow that had fallen in thick, feathery clumps the previous afternoon, making the portrait of christmas complete. matthew arrived that evening by train and we went out for pints and eventually to a club where we more or less gate crashed a private party and danced and got pissed and walked home. that night i awoke in bed with a fierce tummy ache, the result of 3 days of consecutive non-stop eating, and actually hallucinated that beth and matthew were there by my side assuring me i'd be ok. eventually i passed out and woke the next morning feeling better, though weary of anymore culinary indulgances. that afternoon i bid farewell to norwich and borded the train back to london.

home was a quick stop to drop off my things and grab a shower, then it was off to peckham to meet anna, ceilidh, dom and matt for a 3 hour session of king kong. the whole movie could have been the island, really. yesterday i stepped outside the flat to go as far as the dry cleaner around the corner, and once later to the cash machine. the morning was spent hanging out with laura and the afternoon pretty much just drinking tea. sweet, sweet relaxation. today, however, i have a mission: getting my next job. i'm going to go into harrods to fill out an application for a management position in toys, though the prospect of working in harrods again makes my stomach turn to sour milk. my real hope lies in the temping agency bob has recomended in holborn. after that its back to camberwell before 5 to pick up my suit from the dry cleaner, then over to the hermits cave for a long-overdue drink with sadie. at some point i'll be heading over to matt and dom's for a little pre-party pitching in, and then all thats left to do is, well, whatever the hell i want til the party starts and the night before the new year runs wild.

it occurs to me that there's an entirely new year just waiting around the corner and i have no idea what to expect from it.

so i think i'll just expect everything.

i forgot my mom's birthday.

yes, i am scum.

it's no excuse, but i do have the world's worst memory for someone with no recorded incident of brain damage. on top of that, my job takes up pretty much all of my mental faculties - who knew running a major event with over 30 staff and 1500 visitors each day would be so involved? well, i got a call on my mobile from mom the next day and i was still none the wiser and about to let her go because i was at work when she mentioned that she hadn't heard from me yesterday. wham. sludge. my stomach twisted into a fearse knot. i was the world's worst son. poor mom. i feal so horrible. i'm calling her tonight to have a proper chat. the worst thing is you can never really make up for forgetting something important in someone's life. i need a serious memory transplant. is it the future yet??

if there's one good thing to be said for working at harrods, its that they made it easy for me to get a bank account. yes, that's right: i have a bank account. last thursday night at midnight i logged on to my account online and saw my pay nestled snuggly in there, awaiting its withdrawal at my convenience. i made a click here, typed a few numbers there, and like magic my rent was payed. i'm liking this. i'm really liking this.

i've been shopping. for the first time since before i came to this country. what a thrilling experience, like being reminded that you're normal. i have a duvet now, and a really nice duvet cover and pillow case set made of jersey cotton. no more dealing with that awkward square of dodgy blanket that prefers to slip its way down onto the floor when i'm asleep. and i got some shirts for work and a sweater for myself and an ironing board so i don't have to use a towel on the corner of the table anymore. does anyone else hear the theme song to the jefferson's?

i had the day off today, which was nice as it finally gave me a chance to properly recover from this cold that stole the better part of my voice, if i could be said to posses such a thing. feeling idle, i took a chance and invited some friends over for homemade cod chowder, despite the fact that i had never once even attempted to make it before. i love chowder, and am therefore aware that it has the potential to go wrong sometimes. but i took a chance, went to the shop, picked up what i needed and just started chopping and tossing. low and behold an hour later and there was chowder simmering on my stove top with savory smells filling up the flat and calling my friends to the front door. it all went down a treat and everyone was well pleased, which pleased me even more so. so there you go. i can make chowder.

i spent a couple of days in milton keynes last week. its like england meets stavanger drive meets my armpit, only worse.

the hot water boiler is broken. or something. bottom line is i have no hot water. today's my day off. apart from showering, i would have liked to have gotten some laundry done. also, being warm was kind of up there on my list of things to experience today. but considering that a broken boiler is the worst thing that's come my way in a long time, i can't really complain much.

last saturday night's fiesta was a huge success. people weren't even that hungry, but the tequila and corona flowed, the place was packed, the decks were in place, the dj was on fire and we danced until well past the break of dawn. i don't think i could have had more fun. and the place wasn't even that trashed! the floor, a pale hardwood, was black, and there were dirty dishes piled in the sink, but that was pretty much it. one broken mop and a newer, better mop later, and the flat is looking better than ever.

**time warp time warp time warp time warp**

its seven hours later now. the hot water boiler is working again. i've gone from freezing in a t-shirt, hoodie and winter coat to sweating in just my t. i've done a load of laundry and i've cooked a delicious meal of fajitas and bean burritos with a nacho platter starter alongside freshly made salsa and guacomole for myself, matthew and guests dom and bob.

tomorrow i go to work, then meet up with jodi here at my flat, grab a bite and a pint then head over to peckham to see the new harry potter. jodi's from wesleyville, newfoundland. she had a really great time at my party.

ahem.

its less than five hours before the sun and i must rise again. i, like the sun, am powerless to change my fate in this matter.

i can hear the muffled pops in clusters like a crunching in the sky. its guy fox night, or somewhere around there, so for the rest of the weekend fireworks will gather together all the town's folk in parks and empty lots, rooftops and bedroom windows to catch a glimpse and feel the rapture of explosions in the sky.

where have i been? what have i been doing? it's grotto's eve! that should tell you something. or maybe not.

i've left the theatre and am no longer an usher. i traded in my waistecoat for a pin striped suit and am, as of three weeks ago, a manager at harrods department store. specifically, i'm one of the managers responsible for this year's christmas grotto. think of your typical santa in the mall event and multiply it by ten thousand. there is a 6 hour long queue that lasts from morning until night in order to get inside the grotto and spend 2 minutes with father christmas, get your child's photo taken and be ushered off towards the tills where you can pay £9.95 for a print. we have 4 father christmas's (christmi?) in four seperate rooms and, on opening day, tomorrow, over 30 'hosts' to manage the queue, work the rooms and hand out treats and refreshments. it all begs the question: what have i gotten myself into?

but apart from the more insane aspects of my new job, i do enjoy working more sociable hours. also, i work with rosie, which is great. and having more responsibilty as well as independence in the workplace is really satisfying.

my new flat has been great. matthew and i have been getting along really well, and its nice to be living around friends. bob often has me over for dinner, and i've cooked a few meals for friends here at home as well. and on the subject of my new flat, cooking, and friends, i'm having a mexican-themed housewarming next saturday where i'll be serving up some delicious mexican food and brandishing a home-made pinata of my own construction! its the talk of the town.

halloween's come and gone. i didn't dress up, unless you count wearing a suit as dressing up, which for me you very well could, but i did give out treats. ok, so the bell rang twice, but at least one of the two was for two of the cutest little girls ever. matthew and i went to the door together and fawned over them as we handed out the treats. later matthew pointed out that our neighbors probably now think we're gay.

last night was amazing. rosie and i went to 93 feet east and saw the new pornographers!! i can officially scratch that one off my list of dreams that have yet to come true. but it was a real close one as we almost didn't even get in. having bought our tickets over the phone through an agency, we were told all we needed to bring was our reference number. the girl at the ticket collection table had no idea what we were talking about, and we weren't on the list anywhere. after ten minutes of checking and rechecking she asked if we wanted to see the manager of the venue. when we said we'd love to i think we passed her test and proved we weren't just trying to scam our way in, as she then said she'd let us have two of the many comps she was sure wouldn't end up being claimed, stamped our hands and explained that she likes gin and tonic. minutes later she was drinking a gin and tonic and we were rocking out to the immaculate machine, who were very catchy and attractively intricate. as they left the stage the crowd thickened towards the front and we all took our places for the rest of the evening, rosie and i each topped up with a fresh bottle of sole, primed and ready for the coming 90 minutes of joy. the new pornographers were incredible. while they were minus dan bejar, which was a bit of a let-down, i wasn't entirely surprised, and they compensated nicely. they even belted out one of his, a testement to youth in verse, and floored us all with their cascading vocal and instrumental devotion to the bells ringing no in the last half of the song - at one point all the lights exploded into pure white and spilled down from behind them and into the crowd and the band were all impossibly reduced to sihllouettes, the effect of which was crushing. there was no time to think, it was all about absorbtion as they cranked their way through number after number. suddenly, in a lull between songs, i cried out 'where's dan??' and another voice not far behind me did the same. a.c. went into a brief monologue about how dan breaks their hearts on a regular basis, and for a time we were caught up in a bantar about it. then on with the show and man is neko case stunning: stunning to look at and stunning to hear. 'all for swinging you around' and 'letter from an occupant' were rendered with brilliance. a.c. gave us 'the fake headlines' and i sang along with part of the crowd throughout the bravely self-conscious intro. there was more, and more, and even more still, and then from nowhere it was over. we all rejoiced and exclaimed our elation, and the sound of that eventually carried the band back out onto the stage where a.c. claimed they had never done an encore before. they took in a slew of requests and settled on 'from blown speakers' only to discover that a.c.'s amp had actually just blown itself, so they did it without his axe's involvement. i waited for just the right moment between the ending of the song and the quieting of the cheering crowd to shout out 'jackie dressed in cobras,' another dan track, to which a.c. replied 'i think we know that one, just let me confer with the band for a moment' and after a moment's confirmation they blasted into it and with that ended the night on as high a note as i possibly could have asked for. that done, rosie and i retired to the attached lounge bar for a drink to come down from it all. that beer done, we headed back into the stage area to collect our things from coat check and i found neko on stage putting away her gear. i went over and talked to her for a bit about the set and being from canada and such, shook her hand and asked her to give my love to dan. the bus ride home was all about reflection.

home seems so very foreign to me now, and that's the strangest thought that's ever made sense to me.

i am so tired. but its a soft and satisfying sort of ache that gently hums through me, coaxing me to sleep but praising me for making it through the day. i'm writing this from the comfort of my bed in my new room in my new flat - only my bed is made up of a borrowed sleeping bag and a tiny cushion as i've yet to procure a blanket or pillows of my own, and my sheets still need to be washed before i'll use them. but its quite nice nonetheless.

today was huge. i only got to bed 5am the night before after a long night of packing and procrastinating, and was out of bed 3 hours later to bathe and await my factory friends' arrivals. our compliment was smaller than originally expected, but we picked up a spare with a girl named laura who i met doing the joseph fiennes press night, so in the end we had our two actors, caz on continuity and sound, and myself directing - the bare bones, but just enough to get the job done, and that's just what we did. after a slow start we got the ball rolling and let its momentum carry us to our wrap clap at just after 3pm. then i moved flats, courtesy of my new flatmate matthew and his little red car, then hoofed it to matt hart's where the two of us cut until 10pm, which we had set as our deadline and met with some sense of satisfaction for the job we had done. it'll be intersting to see the rest of the group's reaction to it when they see it. its quite rough around the edges, but that's to be expected for a first time out - or for a second or third or who knows how many, really. i just know i had a great time and can't wait to do it again.

i'm doing john's celler man job at the donmar this week while he's in the states biblically knowing his girlfriend. its only like an hour each day. i just hope i remember to go!

i should really get some sleep now. i hope the cat doesn't try and feed me its tail in my sleep. you know, cuz i'm alergic to cats... and their tails.

sunday afternoon the short film factory had what would be its last preliminary meeting. this coming sunday, it has been agreed, we will be shooting our first short film. a lite comedy/farce i wrote and will be directing. i can only say that i'm excrutiatingly excited about this. after the meeting i strolled along st. james park, into buckingham palace and on to victoria station where i got my train home. it was one of those absolutely london days.

monday i took a train to se12 and met a man named stewart about a used laptop. i'd recently realized that the money i'd been saving for spotlight/headshots/actors studio/everything else this town tries to sucker you into spending money on under the pretense of being an actor, would be so much better spent, particularly now that i have the SFF, on a personal computer. so i'd been checking out loot.com and came across this ibm thinkpad that looked promising, and next thing i know i'm at this guy stewart's front door. i go in and the guy takes his time warming up but soon shows himself to be a really kind fellow. he very proudly shows me the laptop and it is in beautiful condition, like new really. after seeing the whole package, which included a hefty bag and an extra battery, i'm sold, and i pay him what i almost feel is a criminal amount of money (let's just say i easily could have been expected to pay £100 more than i did) and i'm walking down the street towards the train station with my brand new (used) laptop - the one i'm writing this on right now! a few minutes later stewart pulls up, on his way back to work, and gives me a ride to the station. what a guy. this laptop is great. IBM ThinkPad T23; Pentium 3 1.13GHz; 512MB RAM; 30GB hard drive; Windows XP Pro. Smooth and clean and perfect for my needs, ie writing, surfing and photoshoping. i couldn't be happier.

tuesday, today, i went back to the fortune theatre, after a summertime hiatus, to resume my tuesday matine shift there for the woman in black. i have seen both halves of that show numerous times, but for some reason today, watching the second half, it was scaring the crap out of me! its meant to be really scary, so that was fun. then i got a call from work that the comedy theatre needed extra staff for the press night of joseph fiennes new play, an epitaph for george (something), and my theatre could spare me, so i went over there, having a delightful walk through covent garden and leicester square, and got to see a new play, which was at the very least incredibly written with an amazing cast, and sat in a theatre with the most culturally (influential) powerful people in the universe. afterwards it was the exclusive, invitation-only, afterparty, to which we front of house had exclusive invitations. so i went with a gang from the comedy who i get on great with to the mint, a very very posh club, and mingled amongst said cultural powerhouses... and joseph fiennes. i got really drunk off these amazing drinks made up of crushed ice, mint leaves, bourbon, mango puree and ginger beer, ate loads of canope, and then carried on with the rest of the gang to teatro's where we danced til 3am and then caught our respective night buses together. walking to my flat from the bus stop i came eye to eye with a fox, less than five feet away from me. i crouched down, did that whistling thing and rubbed my fingertips to my thumbtip in invitation to come closer, but he just looked at me, as if to say 'as if' and walked away.

which brings me to where i am now, home in my soon-to-be home-no-longer, typing out this rather long journal entry on my rather great laptop.

there is a cresent moon in the sky, but i fear the imminant arrival of the sun shall soon be its undoing.

tamara, the darling, sent me the new pornographers' new album, twin cinema. its brilliance makes my brain bleed. perfect timing with having my ipod back. i listen to it perpetually.

rosie's back! oh sweet joy of joys! i just had tea with her now and she looks absolutely stunning. she just spent the last 4 months on a beach in spain, eight hours a day, seven days a week. if she didn't look stunning there'd be a problem.

i'm buying a laptop. its official. i've been trolling loot.com and have started making offers via text to people. this is a much needed appliance in my life.

that darn frigging photo hosting site that i used to post my pics here has evaporated or something. i've managed to repost the stuff from my cross american photo journal entry, but the pics from shelly's visit are not in my possession. shelly, if you're reading this - i need those pics please!

sadie's back tonight. it was nice having the flat to myself for the last 3 weeks, but alas all good things. it will be nice to see sadie again, especially since i'm moving out in less than two weeks.

i'm looking forward to the crispness of the coming fall weather. i've already started eating soup and toast, almost exclusively, though perhaps a little prematurely. hey man, soup's good.

jonathan strange & mr. norrell is so good. i took a little hiatus from train reading there when i got my ipod back but have since reimmersed myself into reading, and this book just gets better and better.

i think i've yet to finish a journal entry without having that creeping feeling that i'm forgetting something. today's is no exception.

i have a new ipod! finally got my appointment with the 'genius bar' at the apple store. had to wake up 8:30 this morning to get the train into central, got to the apple store 10:30, booked my appointment, met up with matt hart for tea and was back for 2 to state my case. guy took one look at it, put it to his ear, said, oh that's the death rattle, and agreed it needed replacing. ten minutes later i was walking out of the store with a shiny new ipod. i vow to keep this one scratch-free (by not doing stupid things like putting it in a pocket with my keys...!) and may in fact splurge for a case. my music is semi-on its way to me. it just began the trek from home, via canada post, to toronto yesterday where tamara will receive it, then send it along to brian, her father, who will in turn pilot an air canada plane to london, as he sometimes does, and hand my music over to me. before the end of october my cds should all be in my grasp and syphoned onto my ipod. its all coming together now...

had dinner at matthew's monday night. very lovely meal and i met and got on great with his sister, so all systems are go for me moving in at the end of the month. also, i took a look at the room, which i thought was pretty smart, and its quite spacious with a very large bed. i couldn't be more pleased about that. i had a nightmare getting home that night, though. i was getting the last train, and i had to make a connection at another station to do so, but the first train was delayed just enough for me to miss my connection! so there i was in an unknown-to-me part of london, wandering around trying to find a bus stop. by the time i figured out where i was and how to get home i missed two of the buses i should have taken, then was forced to wait an hour in the lonely cold for the night bus to start up so i could get it to take me all the way back to crystal palace. it was after 2am by the time i got home - i left matthew's at 11 expecting to be home before midnight. sigh. but still, it was a lovely evening before the journey home fiasco.

earlier that day i took in the natural history museum with katheryn. that place is so cool. i saw so many fully assembled dinosaur skeletons that were truely awe inspiring. also, i learned how babies are made. all in all i learned a lot!

katheryn came over the day before, on sunday, and we ate junk food and watched a movie and drank beers and ate curry and watched a lot of angel, which she had never seen before and at one time ridiculed but now admits that it is awesome and wants to see more. i mean, its not like i'm lying when i say its a great show! people need to realize.

in other news, i've switched to the train as my main mode of transportation. for only £3 extra a week i get: a (mostly) dependable schedule, shorter journey times, a quiet and comfortable ride - none of which the bus can even come close to offering. it had gotten to the point where i couldn't even read on the bus, especially the night bus home. i love the train. i wish i'd figured that out sooner!

currently reading susanna clark's, jonathan strange and mr norrell. its about the restoration of english magic in the early 19th century, during the war against napoleon. its huge. i'm a mere 200 pages in now and it just gets better and better. i'll be the rest of this month on this one i imagine. i did enjoy vernon god little, by dbc pierre, though i do think it has been a bit over-hyped. i can see how gq named it one of the 100 best things in the world. by which i mean i can see how gq would say that. i'd compare it to miriam toews, a compicated kindness, with the main contrasts being that its a female coming of age/thwarting the odds story, and that its set in canada, which i can see being two reasons why it might be more likely overlooked on the international stage. i think kindness was a much better book.

i'm looking to buy a laptop. £200 or less. basically a portable typerwriter that can burn cds and check e-mail.

the very lovely, long lost friend, heather payne has gotten in touch with me! ah the memories come flooding back. its my most exciting news of the week.

telstar: the joe meek story. worst title/best play ever.

took thursday night off work, snagged 3 free tickets through dan, and took gavin and hillary out to see this play. i'd heard it was amazing, but it had been getting really poor houses, which was being attributed to a lame marketing campaign. its really sad, because this play is mind blowing. con o'neil, who plays joe meek, britain's first independent number one record producer, gives a disgustingly amazing performance, one i actually can't believe i saw or that could have been possible. the script was flawless, the production tight, the cast all right on the mark. when it was over our muscles were all tensed up, we were sweaty and tired and in desperate need of pints. so we obliged.

i'm moving in with matthew. his sister okayed the deal and i texted my notice to sadie (on holiday) who replied that it was cool with her. i'm going over there for dinner on the 12th to go over everything with him and his sister. my only real concerns are about the cat, which i know i can adapt to because i did it once before with diana's pair, and the fact that i haven't actually seen the room i'll be taking. the rest of the flat is great, there's even a back garden with a bench(!!) so i'm sure the room will be fine. and well hey, i sleep on a mattress on the floor right now, so as long as its at least on par with that i'll be laughing.

having sadie's flat to myself has been great so far. the internet is down, which sucks, but i still have the mac to write on. sadie, very thoughtfully, ordered the next three discs of angel for me before she left, so i have everything but the very last disc of the entire series. i missed a lot of season 5 when it aired, so its great to be going through those now. and while i'm thoroughly enjoying the solitude of the flat, i can't wait for sadie to get back so we can get the final disc of angel!!

the short film factory had its first preliminary meeting on friday - the first of several to be had before we officially get underway. a lot of important details need to be carefully sussed out, and if this first meeting was any indication, they will be. a very exciting development of late is that, with caz now onboard we have acquired the use of her camera - a canon xm1!!! its the uk equivilant of the canon gl1, in case you know that one. either way, its an amazing camera, very high end, professional gear. she's willing to give it over to the group as long as we ensure it, which will cost less than buying one, so we get a kick-ass camera and pay less money all in one stone. so nice.

oh, hey, its summer again in london. hooray! i think i'll stay in all day, do some laundry and clean the bathroom... well, i did come outside to check my e-mail!

(i hope kingston is treating you well, susan)

An excerpt from a recent conversation I had with London, on the final hour, greenwich means time, of my 26th birthday...

Darcy: London, explain to me, using recent events as examples, why I should continue to love you so?

London: Darcy, I will tell you why.

It was through my amazing potential for affecting and unfolding serendipity that you were able to meet your greatest idol, Joss Whedon, who's hand you shook, who you exclaimed the word 'awesome' to and who thanked you very graciously for your brief and tactful compliment. Darcy, this meeting was perfect, and, to paraphrase what you said afterwards, it made your year.

When your birthday celebrations seemed like they had been a complete failure, with only one friend from work (John's a good guy, Darcy. Don't ever forget that) showing up to meet you at the Notting Hill Carnival (which, Darcy, surely you realize was due to the fact that you left making any plans to the very last minute... I want you to think about why it was that you did that), Beth called you and arranged for you to meet up with her, Matthew, Gavin, Hilary and some other very lovely people who you'd not met before at a pub in Maida Vale for a pint, then took you back to Matthew's where you all imbibed ridiculously large portions of intoxicants and danced until 10 in the morning. They went out of their way to ensure you had an amazing time and felt special on your special day. And you did.

Because Matthew Rose, who, in the short amount of time you've known him, you've come to appreciate how truly wonderful a person he is, asked you to move in with him, in his excellent flat in Camberwell, zone 2, a less than 30 minute bus ride to work, and, aware of your financial restrictions, is going to try and convince his sister, who owns the flat, to allow you to pay what you can afford in order to live there with him. You were touched by his offer.

The following night, the night of your birthday, you went to work tired but happy. At the end of the night everyone gathered in the foyer to sing you happy birthday and gave you a card, signed by all, and a gift voucher from Borders, because they know how much you love to read. They couldn't make it to your Carnival plans, but they do love you, and they wished you with sincerity a very happy birthday.

Finally Darcy (and I am stopping here because while I could go on my modesty prevents me) because I believe that you are strong and full of potential, and I am a place that can nurture these virtues in ways you may not realize. Darcy, as long as you are willing to believe in me, I will never stop believing in you.

Darcy: Thank you, London. Thank you.

thursday night/firday morning i was mugged. two guys grabbed me, shook me up, snatched my wallet and ran. i went into a total panic attack and i couldn't come out of it. the police were horrible. i was in a state of complete hysteria, unable to think or act straight, and they dropped me off a couple of blocks from where it happened and told me to get the bus home, that they weren't a taxi service. if i hadn't managed to call my parents, and in the state i was in i'm not sure how i did, i would have wound up sleeping on the street that night. they managed to talk me through everything, got me on my feet, walking to the bus stop, on the bus, and stayed with me for more than an hour until i got in the front door, by which time it was 8am and i was exausted.

the next day i was still exausted. sadie was very kind to me and explained that i am her family here and can call her any time i'm in trouble at any hour and she'll always find someone who can pick me up. we talked a lot about how the police handled me and she gave some advice on how to move forward. i took the night off work and stayed home. that very day we had the internet hooked up in the flat so i had that to occupy me, and a new disc of angel had arrived in the mail as well which was another welcome distraction.

the feeling of exaustion was still with me when i went in to work the following day. when i got there i found an envelope waiting for me. the night before someone backstage - as front of house i next to never see or speak to anyone on that side of the theatre - started a collection. it went through the crew, the band, the cast, box office and all the ushers in front of house where i work. there was over £130 in that envelope. i was so overcome i had to hide myself in the bathroom and cry. i told my manager i couldn't accept it but she insisted that everyone wanted to help. beyond the money, that gesture, from all those people, some of whom i've never even met, made such a difference for me. i'm really fortunate to have such good, caring people around me.

today is the first day that i don't feel like all i want to do is lie down - go figure its my day off so that's pretty much all i did. i'm really glad to have the internet at home now. it means i don't have to stay out late after work at night just to do some e-mails or write in this journal, which is something i really don't fancy doing anymore anyway. also, now that i've got a computer i can use - one that finally works properly, even if it is a mac - i can start loading up all the pictures i take and even start putting them up on here, sending them to friends, etc. so look forward to seeing some of that here soon.

look forward to a lot of things.

last thursday at work we had to evacuate the theatre. a 'suspect package' had been found, a bag someone had left behind after the matine that had what looked like some kind of kit inside it, and the police were called in and the area around the theatre blocked off. we stood around in uncertainty for about an hour, anuncertainty that called for me and two others from work to indulge in the 3 footlongs for 10 pounds deal at subway down the street, and then the cops confirmed that the bag was harmless and we all went back to work and were given free ice cream.

we have two american chaps at work now. strange to hear an accent similar to my own there all the time now. they're nice guys.

i did something questionable last week. i was at the station doing my acting reel outputs to dvd when i realized i had bought the wrong kind of dvd's for the burner they had. i had gone so far as to open the box and take the wrapping off one of the dvd cases before i realized the error. i didn't want to have to buy a new box of dvds, so i took the bit of wrapping the went along the top spine of the dvd case and put it back on, then slid it back in amongst the others. it looked fine. then i brought it back to the store, this computer mega store thing, and told them i had opened the box but not the wrappings. they had a look and were satisfied so they allowed me the exchange. i was actually mildly shaking when i signed my name to the exchange receipt.

sadie finally caved and bought season seven of buffy. i missed most of that season, including the series finally, so i'm really looking forward to digging into that.

melanie and i went to see aimee mann sunday night. i was really looking forward to it, but after only 60 minutes of adequate rocking and rolling, she called it a night, then gave two sets of maybe 10 minute long encores, and that was it. not exactly the £20 rock show i had anticipated. also, i ate too much curry before going there and had a bad tummy, but i can't really blame aimee for that.

started reading zadfie smith's the autograph man last week after wholly devouring a compicated kindess. i really like smith's style. very young and fresh and perceptive.

that night sadie and ceilidh and i dined out at a fancy restaurant in crystal palace called johanna's and got wasted on red wine and beers. it was rather expensive but much needed. the following night i went down to shutts with some friends from work and again got thouroughly wasted. caz and i left at around 3am for soho where we stumbled into shops trying to convince them to sell us beer, despite the fact that it was clearly after 11pm (what is wrong with this town??), and failed. we wound up getting this sketchy stuff from a sex shop that for some reason is legal and smashed our brains out of our skulls as we wandered around soho and surrounding areas for the next two hours. highlights included being propositioned by prostitutes and coke dealers, seeing an act of prostition unfold in an exposed doorway, and saying things randomly throughout the night like 'my teeth are made of denim,' and 'my brain is brambles.' after riding the lions at trafalgar square in the early morning light, we parted ways and night-bused our aching heads respectively home for bed and an all-too-soon early rise for work the next day. this was saturday, and we had the matinee and the evening show to contend with, but little did i realize how surreal this day would truely be.

never did i think in my entire life, which i am aware has been and forever will be ripe with strange and unpredictable occurances, that i would be given the task of using an explosives detector to randomly search people's bags as they entered a building. welcome to my saturday at the phoenix. at least people were cool about it. but what the hell was i supposed to do if i suddenly discovered a bomb? i have no frigging idea, that's what.

so obviously that night i got wasted.

it has seemed to be a theme among most young londoners since the bombing - getting wasted makes things better. there was a party in the north, and despite my being asleep on my feet and knowing i would need to take not one, but two night buses to eventually get home, i accepted dan's invitation, bought beer, and got my party on. i'd never seen so many lovely looking girls gathered in such a small place, and i even talked to a few of them!

sunday was recovery day. it was also the day i vowed to finish love in the time of cholera, despite my not believing it would happen. but it did! the elation i felt when i read that last page was beyond description, partly because i've never felt so trapped by a book before that finishing it made feel me as elated as this one did, and partly because it meant i could finally move on and start reading other books! ok, well i guess i did describe it afterall. i've just cracked the spine of my first canadian novel since arriving here, a complicated kindness, by miriam toews, and its really quite lovely.

its hot as hell here again. finally. i really started to wonder if maybe summer had come and gone here. at long last the complaining about the heat can resume. i like listening to this much better than the complaining about the lack of heat. oh, you kooky british folk and your ways!

thankfully, i and all the people here i know are safe. i live in southern london, in zone 4, and all the attacks took place in zone 1, central london. i was due to be there this afternoon for work, but the bombings all took place this morning during the rush hour commute. work has obviously been cancelled for this afternoon and this evening. buses and tube lines have been shut down. people are dead, others mamed and seriously injured. i can't believe this is happening where i live. it is devestating. when i see the images on the news they are more than just images. i know where those people are, i walk amongst them every day. my thoughts and hopes go out to all the people here affected by this horrible event.

this really is the world. i feel sick.

i don't think i can really start this entry until i make mention of the fact that london has officially won the bid to host the olympics in 2012. now hopefully everyone can shut up about it until i leave town in the fall of next year.

i have my reel! i spent monday and tuesday at the community channel's production office cutting together the clips aaron sent out to me on their final cut pro hd powerbook machine. final cut is nice, it looks really pretty, but i still think premiere pro has a few more things going for it. it was interesting to cut on a different program though, and damn well fun to be editing again. also, it was nice to be in a chilled and happening professional production environment. never been in one of those before. i'm going back on monday to do an output to DVD. but for now i have my miniDV master, and 6 VHS dubs. exciting!

live8 was last saturday. me and a big gang from work got boozed up in a park just outside the festivities as they were coming to a close. we called it 'making our own fun' and we think its something that's gonna catch on. that's when i met sara cake and sam nearly. it wasn't until days later that i learned those weren't their real last names, and somewhere in the fog of my memory i think i may have been the one to make them up in the first place. drinking!

next day wimbeldon came to a close, with federer taking his third straight. watching that guy play tennis is unreal. total containment of human emotion until the moment he made the match point when, in an instant, he collapsed and exploded. cool to think that was happening only a couple of miles away from my flat where i was watching it on tv. what was even cooler was that i was watching tv at all. see, a few days earlier, in a moment of pure idiocy, i dropped a full bowl of cereal on sadie's tv. after cleaning and drying it as best i could, i tried turning it on. after maybe a dozen tries where it would kind of start to turn on then give up, it eventually stayed on but the volume would just shoot right up to full blast. you could hold the down volume button down and it would struggle its way down, but as soon as you let go it would shoot right back up again. then turning it off would take several tries as well. i thought i was screwed. i actually wrote a note and avoided sadie for a couple of days. finally she called me to say she wasn't mad and that she was going to get her insurance to cover it, and i voluntered to pay the deductable which was FIFTY POUNDS. i was glad things were ok and that i didn't have to buy a new tv, or move out, but still, 50 quid down the drain didn't exactly make my day. then sunday rolled around and the rain kept me indoors and i was bumbed because i couldn't watch tv, but i decided to try it again anyway, and like magic it just worked, and its worked ever since. i call this a 'happy ending' and i hope its something that's gonna catch on...

on a bleaker note, the weather here has been piss lately. its supposed to turn around at the weekend. it better - i've made plans with my skateboard!

somebody please tell me that pret a manger is not owned by mcdonald's.

shelly has sent me a few pics from her visit.  lucky you, i'm posting them here!


just hours before this pic was taken, shelly was disembarking from her airplane at heathrow.  now here we are at st. james park after midnight with my friends from work having a picnic and getting wasted on beer and welsh vodka shots.  is it me, or do i look like i'm about to eat the photographer?


shelly, being the darling that she is, brought out my skateboard for me.  here i am giving a lesson to dan.  neither of us are sober enough to stand at this point, which is always the point when getting on a skateboard seems like a good idea.  shelly's batteries are dying here, hence the lack of focus, though i like to think it helps convey the absolute drunkness of the moment.


did i mention we'd been drinking?  there's ben, katheryn, and caroline with her back to the camera.  it must be 3am by now.


day two, or the first actual day, since shelly arrived at night, and we've hit up all the spots in and around central london which has left us with a real thirst... for more booze.  here we are at Obar in soho, one of these newfangled pubs that continually pump oxygen into the air, chatting on the phone with kylie and unknowingly getting giddy off the oxy!


and here's the jug of ceasers that might also have had some effect on our equalibrium.


here, officially, is the 1 millionth photo of a tourist sticking their head out of a london phone booth.  just after i took this, ballons and streemers fell from the sky.  we're still waiting for the novelty-sized cheque to arrive in the mail.


after all that excitement, this guy went and took it up a notch by juggling a chainsaw in a leather thong.  as much as i'd like to let you think that its an erection sticking out at the front of his undies, its actually his radio mic pack.  oh the things you see at covent garden.


shelly's last day here and we're taking the bus into town, on our way to camden market for drinks with some friends of her friend, then back into central for a night at the theatre.

thus endeth this very excellent photo journal entry.

its wimbledon fever here in london right now, and in recognition of this spectacular event, i've decided to post a second journal entry in the very same week... it kind of makes sense if you read the title of the entry... i guess. go with it.

amy martin popped into to london for a couple of days at the tail end of a whirlwind tour of western europe. we met up today, thus bringing my total of friendly visitors up to FOUR. which begs the question: when the hell are YOU coming out??

we went for a meander around soho and ended up ducking into a pub to escape the sudden downpour that the random london sky unleashed, and had a little downpour of our own in the form of a pint each. no sooner had we good-to-the-last-dropped our beers than the sun emerged once again and dried up all the rain, so we shuffled off to the shop and picked up some cans and downed one each in the soho square park. then it was off to soba for happy hour noodle deliciousness and another beer each. ok, feeling tipsy folks. before seeing amy off i took us to cafe vergano, my favorite, where she treated us both to a latte. then it was off to work i went. the first latte kind of helped to balance me out a bit, but i felt the need for another, so i ducked out for one during my break, but that just wound up making me feel more edgy than straight, so i polished off another beer before having to get back to work. it didn't exactly help me strike the balance i was hoping for.

now i just feel odd. so many conflicting chemical reactions firing off inside my skull. but i've got the second disc of angel, season 2 to look forward to when i get home. that and a big mixed bowl of fiber and granola cereals'll sort me out nice and good!