Jeff Cliff [ website | thedark ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

in the meantime [26 Jul 2008|03:06pm] ronin_lethe [ mood | okay ] anyone without insurance who needs medication should know that for 20 bucks a year walgreens does their own prescription plan. it saved me 100 bucks today on 3 medications i need every month for the rest of my life, plus i'm likely to save another 75 on the ones i pick up next week. so just an fyi. 3 comments|post comment

I AM BACK [26 Jul 2008|12:53pm] dresdencodak No lousy hand injury is going to keep me down. Bet you can't even tell the difference. 11 comments|post comment

HTDB [25 Jul 2008|11:14pm] l2oto I've been bitten by the coding bug again. It takes quite a while between spurts, but I'm enjoying it each time. I have this thing with work like this. I am a classic procrastinator, in the sense that, unless a project is exactly what I want to do at the time (spontaneously), I will put it off until every moment between here and the deadline is required to complete it. Thus, I prefer not having deadlines. Luckily, most of the things I'm working on are projects that I put myself up to, and so they don't have deadlines. But when another person is involved, the guilt cycle operates. This is where my procrastination builds, steadily, the motivation to work on it. Then, as I work on it, the guilt erodes away, until I say to myself, "that's good. I don't need to do so much anymore." And of course, the guilt/work cycle only motivates me to do incredibly measly amounts of work in comparison to what full-time people are expected to do. That's just how I roll. HTDB (short for HTML<->Database interface) is my own personal web framework. It mimics certain ideas I like from rails/MVC style frameworks, and leaves behind others I don't. I'm scratch-building it for my own personal amusement, edification, and education. I wouldn't recommend anyone else use it, and I may never actually get around to documenting it to the point where others could. It's not just a way for generic human developers to crank out web apps faster; it's a way for ME to do that. What that means is that the software is in my head as much as it is on the server. I KNOW I'm asking for a disaster. I know I OUGHT to learn version control, best practices, etc. But I've been working on my own for a long, long time. So far, I've never needed to collaborate on a project with anyone (at least, not another developer). And if I lose the sweet gig I've had for the last seven years (crap, has it been that long?), I'm going to cry from the stress of having to re-enter the job market, especially since that means I'm going to have to move back to the US. But I see no reason to stress out over that BEFORE it happens. In way, that would feel like wasting a perfectly good opportunity to enjoy a good thing while it's good. post comment

a letter to C. [25 Jul 2008|09:41pm] ronin_lethe [ mood | crushed ] hi kiddo. i... honestly, i'm not sure what to say. i feel like somewhere some part of me is being torn out, torn apart. every memory of you, all 22 years of them, from that awful snowstorm night i saw the beauty that was you enter this world until this very heartbeat, is pounding in my ears like some overwhelming surf. i can't stand under the force of so much memory. everything everywhere right now is you. that's what you never understood, and i never understood how you never understood. your simply being impresses itself like hoofbeats and thunder. right now i am watching you go further and further away, to a place where i can't follow and can't reach, trying so hard to become what you've always been. by the time you were 7 you were the smartest person i have ever known. and i'm sorry. i know how hard that was. the endless pressure, the hours of being a genius or being ignored. i do know. i lived it. and it was worse for you, because i may have been simon, but you were actually river. and they came and fussed over your perfect pitch. and i didn't take enough time to tell you how grateful i was for your voice. at the same time, i want to shake you until your perfect teeth crack out of your perfect face. you vain thing. how do you think it was for us? i suffered sick in silence, 25 years and then when the dark came for me i was all alone. we used to walk three steps behind while strangers stopped and said, what a pretty little girl. and i would think, but we are four little girls. i would think, why aren't we good enough. which is why when i stopped coming home and you started asking, maybe a mean part of me delighted in holding back an answer. one more hour i'll never get back. one more penance that has to go somewhere. but now for this? you to be stricken with the vainest, most shallow of diseases. while r. has been to hospital back and forth, not recognizing her own body, and here you could have been given 25 things that would have given you character, and how do you end up? selfish and bratty, needing coddling, tell-me-i'm-pretty, stupid selfish bitch literally dying to be thin. walking corpse syndrome too good for you, i suppose? needed to be like everyone else in college? i want to slap an answer out of you. i want to scream loud enough to get through to you. fuck, kid. i just want you to be okay. 3 comments|post comment

[25 Jul 2008|08:05pm] absolved ( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. ) 2 comments|post comment

[25 Jul 2008|02:11am] jojotdfb [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | SMiLE.DK - Doo-Be-Di-Boy ] ( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. ) post comment

Tweets for Today [24 Jul 2008|10:19pm] elligirl 15:01 The fireworks last night were spectacular! the company was even better, though! # 15:01 @KrisMadison Crossing my fingers for you!! # 15:02 @curvyclaudia What about a nice red bean salad? # Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter 1 comment|post comment

Opaque [24 Jul 2008|09:44pm] l2oto I can't help but notice that the Bilderberg meeting took place between Obama's clinching of the nomination and his betrayal on the FISA reform bill. So much for transparency. Nobody can say what that means. That's the problem. post comment

okay, i quit [24 Jul 2008|08:17pm] ronin_lethe [ mood | crappy ] bidding is now going on for one me slightly used but still in good condition great laugh, fun at parties, officially a doctor of microbiology (impress your friends!) first to bid will probably win because honestly i feel as used up as a nun at a whorehouse. as if today hadn't been just BARRELS of fun already, someone keyed my car in the parking lot of my favorite restaurant. then i get home and my roomate, who has no car, says, i'm glad you are home. my scooter blew a tire it's chained to a roadsign can you take me to get it. like the dumbass i am, i assume that since there are no fewer than FOUR tires in this house, he wants a lift to put a spare on and take the bike home. nope! he wants--nay, EXPECTS--that we will drive him to his bike, where he will simply toss it into the trunk of my car and we will drive home. if i drove a pickup and he drove a schwinn, yeah, no problem. i drive a mustang gt sport. he drives an electric scooter. and when i MENTIONED this, that i felt the teensiest bit taken advantage of, *i* got attitude. he better fucking buy me some beer or i'm putting glass in his toothpaste. so yeah, maybe i need to add in my ad that i am something of hell on heels. but i have a good heart and i'm nice to animals and right now i really just want someone to come get me because for the next 15 minutes i want to be selfish and not have people make me feel like shit when i don't do what they want me to. 10 comments|post comment

Alternatives [24 Jul 2008|08:05pm] l2oto My mainland plans evaporated today. I have just enough dough to get there and back, so I am debating whether or not to make a weekend trip. I also know more than a few people are taking off elsewhere for the weekend, leaving new possibilities. Suggestions? Offers? Temptations? Threats? 4 comments|post comment

Fucking Fairies [24 Jul 2008|05:49pm] perdin [ mood | calm ] Unfairy Like The stars have lost their meaning, last of their shine onto the dirty streets into a kiss that the pavement receives. In the hide-aways of the city’s scum, people enjoy the pains they succumb, because in the world filled with crack-heads and bums, affection is affliction. They crave the lust of their sorrow from the dust they steal or borrow, hoping to live on by the dreams of the children of tomorrow. They are a shadow of what they used to be, with cheap glamour, injecting fairy dust into their eyes. Unfairylike 2 They dance during the burning eclipse, kissing frog’s lips while twirling amongst the grass, singing the songs of mistress trickery. They conclude homage to the ancestors of their kind, by stealing children and replacing them with their own, like a snake replacing it’s kids with bird eggs. When the moon and sun separate, they to fade from reality, back into children’s dreams filled with lilies and prince’s frogs.   post comment

go figure [24 Jul 2008|04:27pm] ronin_lethe [ mood | dorky ] post comment

stop me if you've heard this one... [24 Jul 2008|02:28pm] ronin_lethe [ mood | cranky ] [ music | B! Machine--"Atmosphere" ] so a Buddhist marries a Discordian, then proceeds to be told by a pain-in-the-twat that she doesn't know who Eris is. actually, that prelude does very small justice to the actual situation. a friend of mine was talking about her problems with other women the other day, and it got me thinking about mine. i have female friends. i actually have a lot of female friends. but it turns out that the one thing they all have in common is a genuine sense of self. i cannot bear to be around women who have nothing but their tits (or lack thereof) to make people pay attention to them. i am a fully formed person, intelligent, funny, wicked, silly. i can talk baseball, i can talk philosophy, and i can hold my own in both. and the thing is, all my friends can do the same (or the equivalent thereof). we are SMART women, real people. and yeah, we happen to be a good looking bunch, if i do say so myself. but i doubt highly that would be on many of my friends minds if asked to describe who THEY are (with some notable exceptions given for my model friends whose career involves their looks). i mention this because there is this girl here. she is...i hesitate to use vacuous. that implies dumb. she's just EMPTY. pretty enough. nice enough, in her way. but she can't stand it if she's not the center of attention all the time. and she has no substance to make people pay attention to her, so she shakes her ass and the boys drool and it makes her happy. when that doesn't happen, she pouts and throws a fit. i want to wring her fucking neck. she also hates strippers, and will rant against them at any given chance. how they are horrible people only after money, sluts, using sex to get what they want, etc... one day i am going to ask her: well, what would you call a bitch who does the exact same thing to an engaged man, only she does it for free? i'd call her a slut. and a hypocrite, to boot. 1 comment|post comment

Soldier Poet [24 Jul 2008|03:38pm] ghostlyrobotics [ music | AA Bondy ] Here, Bullet, Brian Turner “Here, Bullet If a body is what you want, then here is bone and gristle and flesh. Here is the clavicle-snapped wish, the aorta’s opened valves, the leap thought makes at the synaptic gap. Here is the adrenaline rush you crave, that inexorable flight, that insane puncture into heat and blood. And I dare you to finish what you’ve started. Because here, Bullet, here is where I complete the word you bring hissing through the air, here is where I moan the barrel’s cold esophagus, triggering my tongue’s explosives for the rifling I have inside of me, each twist of the round spun deeper, because here, Bullet, here is where the world ends, every time.” post comment

"fuck love, give me fire" [24 Jul 2008|12:53pm] ronin_lethe [ mood | excited ] ohmigosh you guys, i am almost backlogged in my complaining! there is much whining to be done (actually, there is a pretty serious situation going on at work that is driving me buggy that i will rant about at some point). but i am having SO much fun right now, it's almost hard to let it bother me too much. i started working out again, expanding on my twice weekly dance sessions with some aerobic walking DVDs which are super fun and i can already feel a difference. the nice part is, i am looking to get in better shape overall, not lose stupid amounts of weight, so i can still have cookies =) and. i am almost 99% sure i am coming home (edit: for a visit) at the beginning of september. did you hear that? I'M COMING BACK TO NEW YORK IN JUST OVER A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my feets, they won't stop dancing. 12 comments|post comment

LTTE has lost two thirds of manpower and land area, says Army Commander [24 Jul 2008|12:20pm] rsteelereview1 http://www.dailynews.lk/2008/07/19/sec03.asp post comment

Hindutva Terror In Nanded [24 Jul 2008|12:20pm] rsteelereview1 http://worldsikhnews.com/16%20July%202008/Hindutva%20Terror%20In%20Nanded.htm The Sikh situation. post comment

Govt. rejects LTTE ceasefire offer [24 Jul 2008|12:20pm] rsteelereview1 http://www.dailynews.lk/2008/07/23/sec01.asp post comment

Costa Rica disappointed by U.S. anti-drug aid package [24 Jul 2008|12:20pm] rsteelereview1 http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-07/17/content_8563482.htm "The 4.2-million-U.S. dollar-aid, provided by the United States under the anti-drug initiative called ’Merida,’ is not even enough to buy an anti-drug vessel ..." post comment

Mexico drug traffickers make car bombs [24 Jul 2008|12:20pm] rsteelereview1 http://uk.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUKN1652282020080716 "We believe these two car bombs were being designed to harm the military, the police and rivals." post comment

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