| HURF |
[13 Jun 2008|03:28pm] |
So. It's my day off, I'm just hanging out, and I decide to go on the porch.
Nice, huh.
Too bad I can't do anything since I'm stuck here waiting for the goddamn maintenance guy! See that picturesque beach down there? YEAH OFF LIMITS FUCKERS WHILE I WAIT FOR THE ISLAND MEXICAN TO GET HERE
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Comments: 3 cricket stuffers - STUFF CRICKETS INTO MY MOUTH.
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[18 Mar 2008|08:26pm] |
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well I never liked you momma and i never liked your type of music in fact i sold all your cds out the back of your car just to prove it and i spent the money hahah seriously on all that whiskey and that time i puked on the doorstep and you told me I was a monster and now I'm back to tell you that ill never end the truth ill be back around the way soon before you ever end me and im through so the killer that's just me im the killer of the happy family and that's fine with you is it fine with me it is fine just fuck off and die
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Comments: 5 cricket stuffers - STUFF CRICKETS INTO MY MOUTH.
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| EPCOTASTIC |
[14 Dec 2007|08:02am] |
So after a brief stint in Disney's International Craptown #1, we decided to go to Epcot where the classic "drinkin' 'round the world" game was played. (pictures as soon as Disney sends back my camera)
- Mexico - Ole! Dos Equies and the Three Caballeros
- Norway - Carlsburg, school pie, trolls, and a viking helmet (which was worn for the remainder of the trip). Not to mention a crazy old man and the greatest 5-minute video about Norway ever.
- China - Tsing Tao and plum wine. Mooshoo is a putz. (first country invaded, 1 viking howl - thinking I may be descended from Beowulf)
- International Craptown #2 - skipped, no new hats, disappointing.
- Germany - Spaten Ultra and a commemorative stein, ordered in german... "Bier Frauline! Danke!" (second country invaded, 1 viking snarl at a little kid)
- Italy - Peroni.. and that was about it for Italy (third country invaded)
- America - Skipped. I had a Bud Light at International Craptown #1. (fourth country invaded, though)
- Japan - Kirin Ichiban and hot sake. Would've ordered in Japanese, but the guy behind the counter was fat and Spanish. Attempted to buy a Hello Kitty barbie. Camera disappears. (fifth! country invaded, 1 viking howl "konicheewa!", and a viking snarl at a middle-aged woman with her family)
- Morocco - Casa Beer and the understanding that the camera is gone, "masalem camera!" (sixth country invaded, me proclaiming that I AM Beowulf to a couple of girls who wanted to know why I was wearing a viking helmet)
- France - Konigsbourg 1664... and I can't remember much else. (seventh country invaded, but not too interested since everyone invades france, now beginning to believe that I am, in fact, Beowulf)
- England - run-in with crazy old guy from Norway, where it is revealed that he has epilepsy and that his wife (girlfriend?) just doesn't drink. Was going to have Boddington's, but realized that I probably didn't need even more beer and still had to drive home. (no invasion, no snarling)
- Canada - skipped. "What are we going to have in Canada, Molson?" Hahah
Plus a bunch of other stuff. Yesterday was hedonistic in its celebration.
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Comments: 2 cricket stuffers - STUFF CRICKETS INTO MY MOUTH.
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| Olivia Newton John? |
[20 Jul 2007|06:42pm] |
Me - Is that Olivia Newton John on the computer?
Andrea - Yeah.
Me - What's she doing in the news?
Andrea - I don't know.
Me - Hasn't she been dead for 20 years?
Andrea - No!
Me - Oh, that's right. I'm just thinking of her career.
I laughed out loud (LOL'ed, even) about the joke that I made at Olivia Newton John's expense for a good 2 minutes solid.
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Comments: 2 cricket stuffers - STUFF CRICKETS INTO MY MOUTH.
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| Dear Mr. Lobster |
[28 Jun 2007|09:04pm] |
Dear Mr Lobster
There's only one way to catch you, old boy
So always be on the alert
The way to catch you is to stand in the street
And make a noise just like a skirt
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Comments: 8 cricket stuffers - STUFF CRICKETS INTO MY MOUTH.
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[12 May 2007|12:25am] |
An audio timestamp recording I found on my phone, dated 4.15.06
"I drove back. And all I could think of... was driving into oncoming traffic. And tell them how much I fucking hated them." Followed by music.
Bizarre.
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Comments: 1 cricket stuffer - STUFF CRICKETS INTO MY MOUTH.
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| 10 names HURK DROOLING |
[19 Apr 2007|12:36am] |
1.YOUR REAL NAME: James
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Jamizzle... sounds like perscription acne cream.
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (fav color and fav animal):
Black St. Leopold's Springer Spaniel
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, and childhood street):
Louis Devon
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's maiden name :
Pisjasaf... but SOMEONE wouldn't let me be a jedi at Disneyland.
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
Grey Bud Light.. what?
7. YOUR IRAQI NAME (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name:
Ascankn.. ass kank in? a skankin?
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (grandmother and grandfather's first name]:
Louis Marion or Carl Doris... neither of which sounds very tough.
9. YOUR GOTH NAME (black, and the name of one your pets):
Black Clawdean (YARRR MARYLIN MANSON AND FINGERNAIL POLISH AND BAD POETRY)
10. YOUR PORN STAR NAME (One of your pets names, and a street you've lived on):
Iron Chef Livingston
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Comments: 4 cricket stuffers - STUFF CRICKETS INTO MY MOUTH.
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| Wii Friends Code |
[01 Apr 2007|08:36pm] |
For any of those people who want to email me their Wii (or just add a friend to your lonely Wii), my friends code is
8282-1520-1469-1994
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Comments: STUFF CRICKETS INTO MY MOUTH.
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| God-Emperor of Fat |
[26 Mar 2007|01:35am] |
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Make sure everyone calls him "Geometry Warlock" from now on.
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Comments: STUFF CRICKETS INTO MY MOUTH.
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| On the next edition of "Beer and Wii Sports..." |
[12 Mar 2007|12:41am] |
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"Keerti, I think Nate is a god from the future. A god of bowling, who came to the past just to FUCK with us."
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Comments: 3 cricket stuffers - STUFF CRICKETS INTO MY MOUTH.
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