...I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but the current 400-question Purity Quiz is just idiotic. There's a lot of drugs (what the fuck do drugs have to do with Purity?), and some downright moronic questions (Have you inserted a small animal or creature into your rectum?), and completely miss obvious ones like:

• Have you ever been photographed nude (or topless, if you're a girl) and had those pictures posted to the internet?
• ...been photographed having sex (masturbation counts) and had those pictures posted?
• ...without your face blurred?
• Have you actually sent nude photos in to be processed by a third party? (Oh, digital cameras make it so easy these days...)
• Have you ever sent nude pictures of yourself to someone who was not present at the event where you were photographed?
• Has anyone to the best of your knowledge, ever masturbated to a nude picture of you? (Be honest.)
• Has anyone, to the best your knowledge, ever paid to view nude photos of you?
• Done a webcam show for someone?
• Been paid to do a webcam show for someone? (And yes, having someone mysteriously buy you a couple of gifts from your Amazon wish list for showing titties counts.)

• Have you ever been to a strip club?
• Ever paid for a lap dance?
• Gotten a happy ending from the lap dance?
• Have you ever taken the stripper home at the end of the evening?
• Ever bought a lap dance for someone else just to watch the look on their face?
• Ever paid to view pornographic content on the internet?
• Ever installed a program on your computer (RealMedia, etc.) for the express purpose of viewing pornography?
• Do you have over twenty pictures of porn on your hard drive right now?
• Do you have over twenty megabytes of porn on your hard drive now?
• Over two hundred megabytes of porn on your hard drive?
• Ever had someone else find your porno stash?
• Ever sent samples of your porno stash to someone else?

• Have you ever run a pornographic site of any kind?
• ...And made a significant amount of cash off of it?

• Ever been to a swingers' club?
• Gone to a weekend "lifestyle" retreat?
• Stayed at home while your partner was out having sex with someone else, and you both knew about it and were okay with it?
• ...More than once?
• ...More than five times?
• ...And been excited by it?
• ...And then went for the sloppy seconds?
• Practiced polyamory?
• Lived in a polyamorous household?
• Had a fuck buddy?
• ...who you continued to have sex with throughout at least two other relationships?

• Ever bought at least $20 worth of sex toys?
• Bought at least $100 worth of sex toys?
• Bought at least $250 worth of sex toys?
• Do you have a dungeon in your basement?

• Do you have a standard safe word you use for B&D play? (Making one up now does not count.)
• Ever been in a situation where someone ignored that word?
• Been blindfolded for any activity other than "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"?
• Ever been tied up by the hands?
• Been tied up by the hands and feet?
• Been forced to perform oral sex while bound?
• Had oral sex performed on you while bound?
• Penetrated someone or been penetrated while bound?
• Penetrated a member of (or been penetrated by) the opposite sex?
• Been sodomized while bound?
• Been strapped to a bed and left alone for any significant period of time?
• Been bound to a wall?
• Been bound on the cross?
• Been bound to any object not mentioned here already for the purposes of sex?
• Been whipped or spanked?
• Been whipped or spanked so hard that you had marks the next day?
• ...and showed those marks proudly to someone who was not involved in the whipping/spanking?

As soon as I'm done with my big projects at StarCityGames.com. That's my next big project, I swear. It's gonna be 600, but it'll be done right. If you got any sex questions you think you should have gotten credit for, ask.

(Tell me I'm full of it)