|
[Thursday,
July 24th 2008 @ 7:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
i think i need a shower |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radiohead- where i end and you begin (in my head) |
] |
so i was searching for calcaneal fractures (starting with a search on morphine treatment because i'm tired of taking morphine but mainly trying to find stories of other people who had gone through this) and came across this picture on page 19 of my search
which i think is random
and awesome.
i also came across this picture on the same page
which is also random
and not so awesome.
|
|
|
[Wednesday,
July 23rd 2008 @ 10:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
dance-y, hungry, cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
mum- green grass of tunnel |
] |
i dont really have much to say except that despite all of its circumstances, life is, as of right now, good.
reading The Andy Warhol Diaries. ive never been much of a warhol fan-- of his art or of his, whatever, "life"-- but for some reason, i cannot put this damn book down.
also: i am feeling the need and want and urge to draw and make things again. it has been a very long time since i've even looked at the sketchbook, so this feels nice.
(PS) it is impossible to "almost" give somebody an std if you do not have one, correct? i mean, that's like saying "she almost ran me over with her car, but oh wait, she wasn't even in a car."
people are morons.
|
|
| a little of idaho; some of wyoming. |
[Wednesday,
June 25th 2008 @ 2:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired, sore, thirsty |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the air conditioner |
] |
we were in idaho for all of thirty minutes or so and i figured that this picture was the only one worth taking.
ENTER WYOMING! it's fucking breathtakingly gorgeous. it's scary. well i guess that makes sense-- some of the most beautiful things (places, creatures, objects all included) are the most frightening in one way or another. this was taken after we got out of yellowstone (which was overflowing with dumb tourists-- and i don't mean dumb tourists in the sense that they annoyed me midly just by being there, but i mean dumb tourists to mean just that. yes, let's all clog up the very narrow roadway with our parked SUVs, RVs and other miscellaneous bullshit to crowd around a bison, or an elk, or a bear... who's in the middle of EATING). the trip through the park agitated us both, but i was having an especially difficult time with it because my foot wasn't being co-operative and since the accident i seem to have developed an intense fear of sharp curves in the road, or even gentle curves, especially when i can't see the other side of the asphalt until i pass through the apex. add a mild fear of heights and an 8,000 ft mountain pass to the mix and i've got myself trying to stifle panic attacks every quarter fucking mile. the fact that some large pieces of the guardrail were missing because
PEOPLE,
IN CARS,
WENT CAREENING OVER THE SIDE
didn't help soothe me, either. i'm working on destroying this newly developed hellish anxiety by keeping my eyes open all the way around the curve (i've gotten into the habit of burying my face in the atlas or rolling up the window all the way and pretending i'm somewhere else) and that seems to be helping a little bit; i still can't help the flinching.
yeah these are pretty much all digital; i'm going to get the good stuff developed as soon as i can
and here is one of me on mt. rainier in washington. klingon forehead + crutches = :(.
|
|
| plates and screws and bone graft, oh my. |
[Thursday,
June 19th 2008 @ 12:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
i have the hiccups |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radiohead- the amazing sounds of orgy |
] |
 
say hello to Frankenfoot.
|
|
| post of photos. i hope these look ok on your screen. because it would suck if they didn't |
[Friday,
June 13th 2008 @ 4:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sore, disappointed, tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the shins- caring is creepy |
] |
( yup )
|
|
| you know where you are with... |
[Thursday,
June 5th 2008 @ 11:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sleepy, sore, thirsty |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radiohead: let down |
] |
|
|
| curl me up inside you. |
[Sunday,
June 1st 2008 @ 2:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
percocet & playstation |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tv on the radio- dirty whirlwind |
] |
this is very frustrating. i miss the stupid little things, like being able to stand at the sink for more than three minutes so i can dry my hair after taking a SHOWER. i tried this yesterday and it just wasn't happening. i know that i'm not going anywhere and i don't have to impress anybody, but it would make me happy if i could get my hair back to the way i like it. since the accident it either goes unwashed for a few days (gross, i know) because it hurts to lean over the tub or the sink for too long, or i wash it and then sleep on it and wake up with a head of massively unkempt curls. it reminds me of a story i read about concerning women in the holocaust camps-- the simple act of obtaining a tube of lipstick would make them feel better. knowing they weren't going anywhere any time soon, they would stain their mouths red or pink just because it made them feel pretty for the time being. maybe comparing that scenario to what i'm dealing with is a bit of a stretch, but now i understand why they did it.
i still have a hard time "complaining" about all of this, though-- i know that i handled it well while i was sitting on the grass watching my feet swell and trying to keep the contents of my stomach down while forcing myself to stay conscious, but the aftermath is hardest for me to handle. the percocet is numbing my foot very well (although sometimes it still feels like it's on fire) but my ribs are damn near killing me. jack is excellent at making me laugh which turns out to be a bad thing because it really fucking hurts. but anyway yeah, i tend to keep all of it inside until it gets to a point where all i want to do is cry, and that's not the brighest idea either, because crying makes my ribs hurt, too (i am dreading sneezing. it hasn't happened yet, but i know that when it does, i will want to put my fist through the wall). i don't know how my father deals with this amount of pain (and more) everyday. he's always been my hero (as lame as that sounds), but now i respect him even more; more than what i thought was humanly possible.
fall seven times stand up eight fall seven times stand up eight fall seven times stand up eight
|
|
|
[Saturday,
May 31st 2008 @ 8:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sore, hungry, soresoresore |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
a documentary about shipwrecks on the great lakes |
] |
|
|
| know your enemies |
[Tuesday,
May 20th 2008 @ 1:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
frickin' banshee |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
i still have neutral milk hotel in my head. |
] |
i wonder what really happened, there.
|
|
annoyed
