partners

by colin d fox

' five' shelly didn't blink. matt looked down at her, serious face now on as much as it would go. ' five', he repeated, monotone. Shelly nodded, her long straight golden hair shining under the store's strip lighting. matt noted that the fringe was recovering from her scissor attack of two weeks ago. it had some way to go but it was getting there. ' you can't eat five' he said. shelly did that face where he just wanted to grab her and hug her so tight. it was her serious face. and, bless her, she had no idea how cute it looked to a grown-up. matt stifled a laugh. she looked like the world's tiniest professor trying to solve a massively complicated equation, rather than the precocious six year old that she was, trying to solve a complicate shopping equation with her step-father. ' okay' she said, as if the committee had met and come to a tentative arrangement. ' okay' , Matt replied back at her. if he didn't repeat, she would wait until he did. it was her thing.

' ok, so here's how i see it. ' she said in her high-pitched cartoon character voice. matt couldn;t help smirking. she flashed him a ' pay attention, this is no laughing matter' view of her far too big to be real blue eyes. he loved her then in that moment. it was no different to other moments and other things she did, but he could just feel his love for her in snapshot reactions when she did something or made a face that was so 'Shelly'; he'd never known anything like it before in his life. Here was a tiny scrawny, squeaky little girl , barely over three feet high who meant everything in the world to him. no exceptions. he had never ever known what complete devotion was before or what it was like to lose yourself in selfless love for someone else like this.

' I still call five' . ' You do, huh? ' questioned matt. Shelly nodded. ' I do and WHY i do is because there are two of us.' matt held up his hand. ' So why five for two of us? break it down for me' Shelly grinned. ' break it down for me' was their secret code for math. she'd loved math since she first heard of it and was always top of her class in any puzzles or math related games. matt loved math too, she knew and she loved how pleased he was when she worked out somehting using math. ' okay. see, there are two of us' pointing at herself first, ' there's me' then pointing at matt, ' and you' . He nodded. ' so, I get' here she held up two fingers carefully, ' two'. matt beamed. she grinned again briefly, before resuming her serious look. explaining something, especially something using math was pretty serious. ' and you get...' now the other two fingers got held up. ' two' she finished. ' but...' she began, seeing matt open his mouth. ' BUT..then we have one over, like a remainder.' matt knelt down to her level and went to hug her but she held out her hand in a universal STOP gesture. ' wait, hang on, stop' she said. he backed off. ' so we give that one to shanigans' matt gave her a blank stare. ' Shenanigans' ( that, being the cat's given name which shelly couldn't pronounce properly) is a cat' he stated. ' and cats don't eat ice-cream. ' Shelly protested. ' Shanigan does!!!' matt shook his head. ' Well, she may do every so often, but she's not supposed to and certainly won't be helped by us buying her her own ice-cream'.

Shelly thought about it and finally relented. ' okay, four' she said. matt pulled her over and hugged her. ' four' he agreed. ' And I want one to have chocolate in it and one to have peanut butter' she told him. ' Good call' he said.

walking with her hand in his across the parking lot as the helpful teenage boy pushed his groceries to their car, matt remembered the morning he had gotten the letter. getting with Shelly's mom and her nine months ago had been the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him. everything had changed.

shelly shouted at the tv as frank put the two bowls of ice-cream down on the coffee table. shenanigans immediately strolled over and started sniffing. the grey-haired president her step-father disliked so much was on the screen, shaking hands with some man wearing a tea-towel on his head. ' Dubya! People round here call me Dubya!' she shrieked. matt always laughed when she did this. herself and her little friend ramona from the apartment across the hall had seen the movie ' master of disguise' where dana carvey had imitated president george w bush and ever since then, shelly found him the funniest thing ever when he popped up on television. they both started eating their ice-cream and again, matt thought about the letter that candice had left on the pillow beside him. it had been almost a month and a half already since she had left him and shelly and gone off to kill herself.

' I know that sooner or later I'll give in' she had written in her child-like but scrupously neat script. ' And I also know that you love my baby girl as though she were your own. I love you too, honey. But I can't love you enough or enough at least to keep me from going back to the bad shit that I was on when you met me. I've been doing a lot of thinking about things lately. And I know that you are the best chance for a future that shelly has. you are such a good man, matty; and i know that I don't really deserve you but Shelly does. I signed over my rights to shelly to you. Kelly's brother is a lawyer- a real good one too- and he arranged the papers. nobody else can ever take her away from you. the two of you clicked from the moment you first met and you are what she needs to have a chance in life; someone who loves her and will take care of her. you and her are partners, matty.'

matt laid her tiny head down on the pillow and went to turn out the spongebob night-light but shelly protested. ' no, tell me the story about the forty thieves again' as matt spoke, she listened for about five minutes before the light snoring gave her away. He turned out the light and straightened her covers, lightly brushing her hair back off her face before turning around to leave. as he reached the door, she spoke quietly, sleepily. ' Matt? ' He paused. ' Yes baby? ' ' Partners?' she asked, as she did most nights. He smiled. ' Partners now and forever' he replied. she smiled and turned over.