My dragon friend has posted my theory about The Planet Mars being a surviving moon rather then a planet of it's own. In that respect, it would mean Mars is no more a planet then Pluto would be... something of a lost moon that made it's way into an orbit of it's own, if a bit skewed (in both cases, since Mars's orbit is very elliptical and Pluto's orbit is off center).

But with all the hype about "The Mysterious Red Planet" I assume most humans on this Earth will not accept such a bold theory such as that. However, I trust that some humans do think outside the box and at least find an interest to think about such things. So what do you think?

In this "Special" edition on conspiracy, I'll give you a quick synopsis on how business works, their thought processes, and explain their motivation. At this point you may want to get yourself a good drink and read while you quench your thirst. That way, should you find something funny, you can experience your favorite beverage gliding through your sinuses and shooting out your nose.

This may develop into super powers, or at least a nifty college party trick.

Business works on a very simple principal. It's called the Money Principal: MONEY!! NOW!! PANTS!! IN!!
As you can see, there are four aspects to this way of life. The first is "Money"... That pretty much sums up everything about business because frankly they don't do much of anything else other then make profits. Money isn't necessarily a bad thing, but business hoards it to a MUCH greater degree then all the dragons of the world combined (And believe me, there's more of us hanging around then you think). The greed for monetarily dead green paper is astronomical, causing much lying, cheating, and backstabbing that harkens back to the dark ages of evil knights, unjust kings, and greedy dukes.

And they wonder why I don't get home sick?

Secondly, there is the "Now" aspect. Business doesn't want to wait to make a profit any more then a fat child wants to wait for a candy shop to open. Waiting doesn't pay their tri-centennial trips to Las Vegas or their monthly loan installment on their new Rolls Royce. So money has to be made here in the present. This can cause many conflicts of interest. Firstly, Gaia has time set up as a means to keep things from happening all at once. If a business could manipulate time, they'd make now a pretty wide margin in your day and they'd be happy, but you don't wanna know what happens in consequence to your free time. Luckily they're too busy swimming in their hoards of cash to bother researching temporal magik. Secondly, they put themselves before the rest of us. This means we always get the leftover scraps of the overall pie of life when it comes to monetary gain. I dunno about you, but I feel left out of the love.

The third aspect is "Pants". Okay, you may be thinking what this has to do with business (Or anything other then fashion), but I assure you there is a point to this. Pants play a crucial (If misinformed) role in business. As a dragon of some 185 years I have never worn any articles of clothing more complex then a collar (And I only wear that so that I stop injuring Animal Control personnel. Think about it). Humans wear clothes all the time. Heck, some of the weirder ones wear it in the shower (Don't ask me why) and humans look down upon those who wear too little or no clothing at all. It's something of a status symbol to wear clothes in human society. But the business people, they all share one thing in common that will remain constant until the end of time. Pants. Think about it, have you ever TRUELY seen a business person at work without pants? No you haven't. And don't think that shorts count because anyone wearing shorts is only doing so to conform to "Shorts Friday" events at work and is that honestly something you want on your resume?"

"Wears shorts on Fridays to work for profit." ...Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Back to pants. Now the reason why business people always wear pants is to hold important things... like their Money! You don't see me carrying around gold coins and gems in my pockets right? That's because I Have No Pockets for such things! I use a convienient basement or cave for my money. Business people don't like caves, they don't want to be away from their money. That's why they wear pants. You've never seen the kind of deep pockets a business person has until you string them upside down and shake them for what their worth. Don't stand under them when you do that, you'll be buried alive! Business people have the biggest pockets in the world and they can't live without the ability to carry their money (and cell phone) around with them. Try this sometime: Set a business man's pants on fire, they'll cry like a little girl! There goes their $150 dollar cotton/nylon synthetic blend Calvin Klein pants and their ability to hold money. Without their pants, business people are simply naked from the waist down.

And do you really want that image in your head?

Finally the fourth aspect of "In". This refers to the bandwagon effect that when there's a new trend on the market, everyone must conform to it and sell it like it's more important then air! Take the old "Tickle Me Elmo" toy when it first came out years ago. Everyone who was anyone had to have one of these. I don't know why that was (I would have set mine on fire along with the pants) but every business had to sell them. You couldn't go into a gewelry store without them advertising "FREE Tickle Me Elmo with purchase of $100 necklace or more!. Don't even get me started on Beanie Babies. Happy Meals never tasted the same when I accidently bit into a Quarter Pounder with Ty fuzz. This is a tactic that all businesses use to make "Money" in the "Now". Even if under sane circumstances they'd never sell such things, they will when there's a big demand for it. It's all about the Money & Now... and Pants so they can carry their Money.

So how does that effect you, the average consumer? Easy, unless you're money or Pants, you'll get ignored. Since the rest of us aren't in that equation, we suffer the after effects of the business greed. And that is why society is really messed up today, business only cares about their Money and their Pants when they could be living a healthier life helping the rest of us make the rent each month. When you die, you can't take your money with you. I know, I've seen some people try. God isn't too happy when someone trying to sneak into heaven with pants.

Why do you think angels are depicted in oversized white robes without pockets? Think about it...

A few things:

1) Believe in ghosts? How do you explain them?

2) Pie. I think someone has the right idea here.


3) What's your take on magic? Not the card game... :(

4) Have you seen the shop? I mean, just look at it. Its neat.

Please Comment...

Yes, I am aware there was no comic Sunday. And no apology Monday, for that matter. An apology might indicate that we were somehow at fault here. I'm not willing to admit that as much as some will not admit defeat. But as a special surprise bonus (This week only!) you can have pie on the site. This is in no way making up for the "delay", because there is none. This is the way it’s been planned. As far as you know.

Animation project is still underway; however this is where you come in. We require the assistance of any willing FEMALE voice talent. Anyone who can do a female voice (preferably female) should apply within this post (voluntary basis, no real monetary payment can be made, but you do get your name in the credits). And now back to your regularly scheduled Journal postings.

As we're working on some little side projects for the web site, we were curious to ask if you all wanted to see more artwork or animation first? Okay, yes you get to have both, but which one first is what we're asking. :) Just curious.

Have you ever noticed that the only way we could get people to pay attention to the worlds problems is if people die? How sad...

If you've been keeping up, you will notice several additions to the site.
1)Firstly, the shop page is finally open. At this time there is only one print available, however in the near future there will be a series of prints guaranteed to fit any collection. Your help in funding the conspiracy will be most appreciated (as the government doesn't pay us much).
2)Secondly, on that same page is information and pricing about commissions. Just drop us a subspace relay, or if that's not possible, an email will suffice for any other info.
3)Thirdly, the Email Responses page is now up with the first reply. Please enjoy, and don't forget to send in your own questions.

For those who have been tracking the website outage, things should be returning back to normal. I really had nothing to do with getting it back, I just delegated the job. I know I can get back to the website, but maybe the DNS changes haven't replicated to your side of the internet. Just letting you know.

I found this article about everyone's favorite multi-billionaire, Bill Gates. If you need a whole department just to regulate how much spam gets to your email, then I wouldn't boast about your anti-spam technology. Really, its not anti-spam, the word anti would mean it gets destroyed. When in fact it just gets deleted, and then the source sends more. Its like your hanging off the edge of a cliff with someone stomping on your fingers and you got this team that stops that someone from hitting your fingers. Most of the time. Maybe you don't get 4 million hits, but even just 10 hurts.

The comic may get delayed till Monday. So you all know...

...and why is that? You're planet is crazy!! It's tossing these giant spinning storms that level everything and render all my electrical play things useless.

Well, except for the ones I rigged up with batteries. Yeah, and your batteries only go up to 9 volts. Whats up with that? On my planet 9 volts might work a nightlight. Then again you humans haven't figured out Atomic Batteries, so maybe thats why?

On my planet, these spinning weather patterns aren't as common as our weather is colder and drier then yours. Of course our planet has more snow then yours so ice storms are more common.

I'm currently working on a device that should neutralize those spinning weather patterns. It should work, but it would require boiling two million gallons of ocean water and some group calling themselves Envoronmentalists or something threatened to sue me.

What does "Being sued" mean? O.o`

Updated the Fan Art section last night. 24 hours later, updating the journal to make everyone aware of the update to the fan art... stuff. Those hurricanes sure make you fall behind on things. O.o`

Anyway, three new fan art images up and currently working on the next comic page for Sunday. As I gain more free time and catch up I'll get some other new things up on the web page!

Since power has been cut to a large portion of where we are and Sera has yet to fix that reactor, the comic will be slightly delayed this week. Until then, we'll be running around like chickens with their heads cut off, and trust me... it's not pretty.

We also have a nice new layout to work with. As with anything, there are probably still some kinks to work out, so if you notice anything out of the ordinary, please let us know. We may need a screenshot of the problem as well. And even if you don't see any problems, tell us what you think about the new look.

It would see those aliens and their dragon clamored off somewhere, leaving me all the responsibility. So, in a swift takeover, I did this week's update myself. I think its some of the best drawing I've ever done... in Micro$oft Paint.

According to the previous poll, the only comments that were submitted were complaining that Pecan flavored pie was not a choice. Far be it for me to deny someone their favorite choice, especially when dealing with a touchy subject such as pie. Which brings us to our new poll, dealing with the subjects I plan to teach during the times those other guys seem to neglect their duties.

Well, let's have a bit of fun at their expense then, shall we? Post what you think has happened to them to keep them from a timely Sunday update. My guess goes to alien abduction, hopefully by a Zorginanite science team.

Somehow, the answer "More Pie" slipped through our intelligence modification net as the most voted in the last poll. In order to circumvent this in the future, we have instigated a new poll, to counter the last. This poll has been so crafted as you will not be able to resist voicing your theory. Go ahead. This new version will allow you to post your opinion. Comment about anything. In the end, I will take your comments and post them here (anonymously of course- as if there was such a thing), and we can discuss them. I'm not sure how this will change anything, but it could possibly make things more interesting. Or at least interactive.

Last poll (for viewing only)

New poll (you can't resist the power)

For your safety and enjoyment, The Arbiters have started a webpoll for you to enjoy and come be a part of. Come check it out at http://www.arbitercomic.com/index.php and vote. You have my assurance that this poll will not trace, track, or ID you in any way. Further more, we will not use this collected information to discover your whereabouts in an attempt to keep the population in ignorance of the poll's true motives.

We were asked if the automotive industry had a conspiracy going because it's extremely difficult to get into a car's engine to replace a part unless you're a certified mechanic or if you have heavy equipment like a lift, power tools, and a wench to lift out an engine.

I simply replied that it's not a conspiracy. It's just the engineers keep thinking we're all 6 year Degree holding engineers who think like they do.

But we aren't. So we don't.

So the automotive industry isn't having a conspiracy with their overly complicated engine designs and awful layout of parts. They're just out of touch with the rest of us.

Take a look at Sera. While she has extrodinary construction skills and can build a military grade portable radar using a coffee blender and whatever's in the couch cushions, she always labels her parts and builds things so that anyone can understand how it works.

Unless she does that 'cause she's really no brighter then the rest of us. Just "gifted".

While those arbiter people get their act together, I've decided to post some findings of mine. A lot of people think is fun to make fun of our President. So do these people. Some people have even gone as far as to do something about it. Most presidents are about as clueless to conspiracy as canned ham. There're figureheads, just acting a role that represents the USA. Why do you think actors make such good politicians?

Politicians are too busy preparing for re-election that they do very little about the country itself. The ideal politician would work as hard as he could, as long as he could; he wouldn't promote himself at all, would get work done, a difference in the lives of everyday hardworking people, and an actual BALANCED government budget. I'd like to think that people like this really exist. Unfortunately, these people will never hold a high office because they can't lie, cheat, and steal their way to the top.

Let me know what you guys think about conspiracies. Before you buy into them just think for a while. It'll buy us some time while Moroni, Serafina, and company come back.

Updated, as we're doing well to update by Sunday evening. So afteryou're done with your Sunday chores and making dinner you have something to look forward to. At least, we're hoping we're on that list. =^_^=

I've devised a clever way to build the comic pages faster. This means that I can more reliabaly update once a week, but I can also get farther ahead to build a backup database of extra comics in case I'm out for a week.

Or better yet, make two posts in one day for a special treat to you viewers!

Or even better! Work on more artwork and animations for the site. We actually have two emails that we've chosen to become our first test subjects for animated fan mail. We are currently scripting out our animation for this project and we look forward to a completed animation.

Now to go challenge Moroni for that piece of cheesecake in the kitchen!

We're getting into the decent habit of updating the site about once a week on Sundays. I was wondering if our readers think that's okay or if there are more prefered schedules to adhere to for a comic site?

If anyone has any options, do let us know. We do enjoy hearing from our readers. Especially since they're the fuel that keeps us going.

Not that we... like process you into a gel paste for combustion or anything.

We updated the comic again today with page two.

We are also aware that there's some navigation problems with the site. We're currently working on that. Till then, blame Sera for it since she's always fiddling with things.

Because 800 pound dragons always get their way. Except when my roomies gang up on me with the vaccuum cleaner. o.O;