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Sep. 4th, 2008

elections - palpatine '08

Don't want to be one of those types

I went to CSUN today. It made me feel a bit nostalgic, because even though it was REALLY FREAKIN' HOT (and I know it wasn't really, in the four years I've been here, it's been MUCH hotter than it was today; just, in recent history, today felt REALLY FREAKIN' HOT to me), it was nice to be back on campus.

The Science V building is well under-way; the Valley Performing Arts Center is a huge pile of dirt, the new second floor of the Bookstore Complex looks like the Apple Store in San Francisco (downtown) crossed with the Japantown Kinokuniya "fountain" entrance, and the new G3 parking structure is almost done-ish. The Orange Grove is beautiful with a new fountain and the relocated pond, but it does seem a bit more spaced-out than I remember. Still, there are a lot of new baby orange trees there, which is nice.

I swung by my old work-- they might actually be able to squeeze in some hours for me-- some over at the switchboard (which pays less, but at least it's something) and some with the Help Desk, but it depends. I really didn't go today asking for my job back; it was just the assumption made once I told them the Disney College Program didn't work out. But I won't say no if they do offer something, provided it's at least partially at my old work (and work rate). But I did tell by old boss I do want to go up to S.F. first, as soon as I get my financial aid check. I do want to get my books right away, and I could have applied for a $300 bookstore loan debit card, but... why do that and have to pay it back when I can pay less (a bit later), not have to pay anyone back, and get books cheaper? Yeah sure, for some of them, I won't be able to sell them back, but... well... it might be worth it! I'm just concerned that my financial aid check won't come soon enough. I would have asked about it at Financial Aid today, but the line for Admissions and Records, which I went into for my Enrollment Verification Form (necessary for my health insurance), was long enough.

After all that (and not necessarily in that order), I went to a meeting for GEOL 300, the only one of the semester. It was a simple meeting just to make sure everyone understood WebCT and explain how the quizzes and exams work; it doesn't look like it should be too hard, provided I get the book within the next week or so. With a full courseload, I don't want to be doing everything at the last minute.

The thing that happened actually had nothing to do with the class or the meeting-- as I got up to leave at the end of the meeting (which happened to be 20 minutes instead of an hour), I felt like someone has Tazered me on the left-hand side of the small of my back. For a second, I couldn't move my legs at all. I thought I might tip over, and the guy in front of me (who had turned around to grab his things) looked at me quite oddly. But then I was able to walk, but I felt REALLY WEIRD. It was basically exactly like the time in the Rossi Pool when I was 18, practicing for my swim test to graduate high school (yes, we had mandatory swim tests; I lived in San Francisco, remember? These days, a lot of things can be explained quite succinctly by saying "I grew up in San Francisco").

Needless to say, I was worried, but because I was able to walk and didn't feel any immediate, crippling pain, I continued on. Besides, I'd taken an Aleve (as Dad has me on, since he thinks aspirin and acetaminophen are useless) with my lunch from Subway, and I figured it'd kick in soon enough. My right ankle had been hurting off and on, as had my right shoulder, but I figured, again, the medicine would kick in soon enough.

I found out about a Matador Nights event up at the Satellite Student Union, so I found a way to the streets (waaaaaay at the northern part of campus, on Lassen and Zelzah) and got there in time to get some free In-N-Out. I didn't do any of the waterslides, but I did participate in a USU survey and a fun flying-money-in-the-box game to get some cute office supplies, like a mini stapler, a highlighter, a pen, and a fan. I didn't talk to anyone (conversation-wise), but it was still nice to just be back on campus, absorbing the atmosphere. But by the end of that, my ankle was back to hurting again, and even though my shoulder didn't, my back was starting to get pretty sore.

I came home and told Grandpa about what happened, and that the medicine didn't seem to be working much; he gave me a Naproxen (basically Aleve, but the prescription dose of 500 mg, instead of the OTC 220 mg), but it still didn't feel like it had kicked in after 30 minutes. In fact, my right knee down to my ankle is hurting pretty badly now; both shoulders are somewhat sore, and my lower back "kinda sorta" feels fine, but that might only be because I'm sitting upright. It's like I just can't win. I exercise (lots of walking), I take medicine, I eat well (milk! milk! more milk!), I get my Vitamin D from the sun (even though I slather on sunscreen so I don't burn, I trust I get enough with my outdoors-walking), I sleep on my own nice bed with nice sheets and nice under-bedding and such and I still hurt almost all the time.

I'm scared of being in pain almost constantly, of continuously upping the dosage of my medication, of going from OTC to prescription pill-popper (I have Vicodin, but I think my willpower's strong enough to resist taking that unless I'm in MAJOR pain; it's possible my pain threshold's changed dramatically since I first injured my back). I don't want to become some sort of a drug addict because I can't handle the pain. I'm hoping the Kaiser in Anaheim got my message about my canceled appointment and that I want them to send a referral to Kaiser in Woodland Hills. I might be here long enough to arrange for a proper Physical Therapy work-up (I refuse to see a chiropractor; they've fucked up enough people's backs throughout history; I don't need them to fuck up mine more than it already is genetically), and if not, I might be able to secure a primary physician's referral (on paper) to bring to Kaiser in S.F. for testing there. Dad also wants me to find out if I'm a candidate for a cortisol shot, which seems extreme, but if I have calcium overgrowth problems like he says he does (did?), then it's worth checking out now. The pain would only continue to get worse and limit what I can do.

It never fails to astound people (my uncle, my grandpa, my former boss at the Help Desk) that someone as young as me has such awful problems with my back, but I think a lot of things really come down to genetics. You can eat like a superstar, exercise like you're a personal trainer yourself, but you can't change your genes.

But I can make an effort to do better... I can try to swim more ($3/session at CSUN's gym, last I checked, and a pleasant thing to do when it's so hot out. Nothing but laps sucks, but they help. I hate to think that this all started with swimming, but I don't have to push myself nowadays the way I did back then, thinking my graduating hinged on 6 laps and some doggie-paddling), and I want to learn to ride my bike! I wonder if there's a way to get my bike up to San Francisco? I don't think Mom would let me use hers... she's got a super-fancy bike -_-.

But no matter what about being in pain, I feel good about getting stuff done today. I went to CSUN's library and got the book on the Middle Ages again, as motivation and inspiration for getting back to "The Rose Chronicles," went to the Northridge Branch of the Los Angeles Public Library (which is apparently different from the Country of Los Angeles Public Library, but heck if I know how), got a library card, and reserved the third book in the Myst series, "Book of D'Ni," which I've wanted to read since I finished the first two, Atrus and Ti'Ana, respectively. I'm also working on getting this eBook about building Facebook Applications (ssh!), and did all that other stuff I mentioned...

I want to look back on 2008 and think "I got things done!" So, off I go to do more things, even if my spine hates me the whole while. (I could probably talk about the latest politics, as my grandparents seem to want to do all the time, but... well, see my icon.)

Sep. 3rd, 2008

believe in subtext

I think I watched too much TV last night

I've been having weird dreams the past few nights. Not "weird" like really disturbing weird, just... an odd conglomeration of things. I wake up and wonder what the heck is going on in my brain at night. A few nights ago, I had a dream where all my teeth crumbled/fell out of my mouth. I've had that dream before, and like to think of it as a mental warning to take better care of my teeth. I had another dream last night... er, yesterday morning, and I think it was another recurring or slightly-weird dream, but now I can't remember it. Always write down your dreams as soon as you wake up!

It might be kind of cool if it happened. )
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Aug. 31st, 2008

textually active

Contemplation, the letter B

So I'm trying to find my textbooks before classes really get underway and I'm left behind. I'm checking all the usual haunts-- Half.com, eBay, Amazon, my own Matador Bookstore, etc. This time I've even added AbeBooks and the publisher's own stores to my list. I can also check out TextbookX and a few other places, but generally what I'm finding is that all my textbooks are ridiculously expensive. This is just one of those semesters, I guess.

I can buy direct from the publisher-- a digital version of my Biology book that's either online or downloadable.

PROS
* Cheapest version available, even when taking into account severely used copies, copies without the Physiology CD, and International Editions
* No need to schlep around a heavy book
* Easy to copy-paste info into my digital notes, easy to highlight sections (assuming it's a PDF or something)

CONS
* Can't be sold back anywhere, anywhen
* Is probably a huge amount of MB or even GB, considering it's a 1024 page book in digital format
* Requires computer (if not external HD) to be present, and likely another program to be in use when reading the text-- which means less memory for my digital notetaking, online research, or whatnot

So... physical copy or digital? What would you do?

I suppose in the meantime, I should look for my other textbooks.

Aug. 30th, 2008

textually active

Brains!

I got my 12 units! Hurrah... but without an explanation point, because I may just be biting off more than I can chew. I've taken an online class before, and taken in-person courses with online content, but never a full courseload of online stuff. In addition to being a full semester's worth of units, it's also a bunch of stuff I really don't need... :P

But those are minor details, yeah? Here's the nitty gritty:
* BIOL 100 - Introduction to Biology. I've been wanting to take this for a while, but I was always of the mind that science-type classes are best done in-person. Well, might as well get it over with... I figure I can take Denise's advice from last semester and just take the lab that goes with this (and maybe even with my other science classes, either GEOL 300, if that works for the GE requirement, or ASTR 154, if I can conjure up memories enough... I know I don't have my notes for that old class anymore, 'cuz I turned them in for extra credit -that I didn't need. We'll see. If I can't do that, I'll take CHEM 100/L in one semester, since I've always wanted to know more about chem. Did I tell you my high school chem teacher was deported? Anyway....)

* GEOL 300 - Environmental Geology. Eh, why not? I like rocks. I like earth. It's fun to learn about the huge variety of things that go into putting our planet together, and of course, to learn how much we're messing it all up. I know this counts for another science lecture, but is there a lab that goes with it? If so, will it count for the requirement? I'll have to take especially-good notes for this semester and see.

* GWS 350 - Gender, Race, Class, Sexuality. Possibly my hardest class this semester, if not my hardest online class EVAR. I've never taken a GWS course before, but I have had courses with a feminist bend to them (RTM 330OL was "Women and Leisure," and JOUR 460 was "Women, Men, and Media"). This one involves lots of video-watching and even a group (!) project, though. But aside from required chat-time sessions, it's not much different from regular online courses... it's just a matter of getting everything done on time.

* RTM 350 - Recreation and the Natural Environment. Why not? I liked previous Recreation and Tourism Management classes (well, RTM 330OL, which I just took for elective credit), and it might be some good motivation to "get out there" and spend more time in the "great outdoors." Just from the introductions, I can already tell I'm not nearly as much of an outdoorsy person as my classmates... to never have skied or to not know how to ride a bike...! How embarrassing! *blush* But this class doesn't involve a textbook, and provides everything via Word *.docs and PowerPoints, so it shouldn't be too bad.

Of the four, only two (BIOL 100 and RTM 350) are already on my WebCT. For BIOL (which I'd rather call "BIO," because it rolls off the tongue a lot easier than "BIO-L," as if I'm saying "Bye All"), I've already participated in the first two discussions and read the introductory material; now I'm working my way through the Java-based lecture (very cool, prof!). Still need to get the textbook though, which costs a bloody fortune (like I knew it would). Hopefully my financial aid check will kick in so I can get the textbooks, pay off my credit cards, and then head up to San Francisco for the semester.

For RTM 350, I already took one Sample Quiz; turns out quizzes in WebCT aren't so hard, and I'm glad Firefox doesn't have conniptions with it. Never has, in my experience. The funny thing was, a lot of the questions had to do with Cartoon Network series... if it weren't for my massive amount of trivia-based knowledge (in other words "useless stuff I've filed away for random moments"), I don't think I would have gotten most of them. Like, "Meatwad?"

Starting a week late is a bit of an impediment where online classes are concerned; because they're online, the profs. want to start immediately. Hence my concern about getting the check so I can get the textbooks. I'm sure the WebCT courses will show up eventually, but when the discussions are based on the readings, it's a bit hard to participate unless I B.S. it... which I don't want to do.

Also, like last semester, when I tested out Schoolhouse, a program for organizing my class notes and such, this semester, I'm testing out Bentō. It's a bit different from Schoolhouse in that it's not really MEANT for just class stuff; it's also a personal database manager. I've been using the trial for other things, like my projects (all my website plans), my Wish List, and so on.

So far, it's a bit annoying to have to scroll to input some information in fields; I'd like to be able to just have a field in place without there being the restriction of columns. As it stands, it's cool to be able to have columns, but it'd be nice if they weren't just vertical. In other words, what if I wanted two columns on top and one wide column on the bottom? I'd also like to be able to change individual things about the theme. I want to keep the cool background/header shading, but change the font face or color. Sometimes the font looks too hard to read or is too light in color.

But it IS incredibly easy to input all the data, delete fields I don't need, and keep adding to my Libraries (for example, "Notes" is one library, while my class schedule is another). I'm still trying to figure out how Collections work into the Libraries, or if they're only for certain circumstances, e.g. Media Files (like if you're trying to keep track of all your DVDs).

What I've always wanted to do with my digital class notes is put them online. Call me a masochist, but it's nice to have an always-available look at my academic progress and learnings. With Schoolhouse, it put together an RSS, but I never really knew how to take advantage of it or use it properly. I know you can export Bentō's information into *.csv files, but I wouldn't have the first clue how to turn that into something Web-pretty.

Anyway, I ought to clean my room a bit more and then get back to work taking notes on my Biology lecture. Then I think I can access a quiz for the first chapter... so much to do! :) Despite the seemingly-overwhelming workload, I'm happier than I've been in a long while.

Aug. 29th, 2008

all muses are busy...

Free at last, free at last!

Ah, I'm finally back in Northridge, CA, a.k.a. my home for the past four years (or so). And hopefully I'll soon be back in my "real" home of San Francisco, CA, but first I'm trying to work out some online courses through CSUN, so I'm still covered by my health insurance, still keeping busy, and still getting financial aid. :P

In leaving Disney, I found out that I don't ever want to work for a mega-corporation. Maybe it's Disney's sheer size that made it so impersonal-- despite the few friendly faces that I saw every now and again, I felt treated like a tool, a number-- a non-person, more or less. I don't want that from any job I take on in the future.

I also found out that, rather than the housing owing me $636, I owe them $113, because August has 5 weeks in it, and though we pay at the end of the month, it's a weekly fee of $159. It's horribly unfair that I should have to pay so close to the 5-week total, since I left early (2 days only, but still), but moreso because I went almost 2 straight weeks without work. How do they expect me to pay for those two weeks when I was living in the housing, working my tail off, spending what I did have to go up to Northridge to get new doctor's notes, call Kaiser back and forth, etc.? It's not like I was messing around-- I did my best to get more specific, legible notes, but then they decided that something that had been on the FIRST note (about not bending and twisting) was impossible to accommodate, because apparently working in stores involves bending and twisting, no questions asked. It's a bunch of hooey, because I saw people from Transitional Duty in stores all the time-- I couldn't have been the only person with back and leg issues.

Oh, I should state for the record: being part of the Disney College Program has driven me further into debt than I have ever been in my life. In order to make rent on time, I've maxed out my only two credit cards, and while they don't exactly have astronomical credit limits ($1500 and $2000, respectively), that's still a lot of money. I lived in Japan -one of the most expensive countries to live in the world- for 6 months and managed to accidentally run up a $900 phone bill, but I still didn't come back as in debt as I am from 3 months of working for Disney. And it's not that I'm a crazy spender, either; I rarely went out, got the $1.99 lunch as often as possible (and made my lunch on days when I couldn't get it), and only ONCE "splurged" on a necessary computer repair. Even then, Disney sucked me dry of money, motivation, creativity, and very nearly my happiness and general well-being. For a company that claims to own the "happiest place on Earth" and places safety as its first "key," they didn't seem to practice what they preached.

Supposedly I could have stayed on-- or at least waited until 11/30 for the first doctor's note to "expire," since disability had yet to kick in and indicate my sciatica as a permanent condition, not a work-related injury. But that's ridiculous-- miss 3 months of work and classes, not have a place to live, and then come back right to what I'd grown to dislike so much, because I was in pain every day and every night, and my leads and managers refused to help me without a note, and then did more of the same even when I DID get a note? No. Why would I go back to that?

The housing is more of what I'm glad to be free of, though-- the idiotic, immature people in housing setting off fire alarms for fun, the constant construction, the stupid rules, the disgusting lack of a decent recycling program (supposedly that's the City of Anaheim's fault, but why isn't it the property manager's responsibility to contact the Dept. of Waste Management or whatever to make sure we have the bins in place?), etc. Plus, the housing coordinators that frankly didn't seem to care about us as people, just as statistics.

One of them was downright rude to me, and I wish I'd come up with more comebacks to let her know just how much I hated her. I told my former roommate Michelle (we ended up ironing out all our differences before I left, which felt great; I never like leaving a place on a bad note) that I was done being "anyone's bitch," and said housing coordinator said "Hey, there's no need to talk like that in here." *eyeroll* I wish I'd come up with the comeback at the time, "Yes, there is a need, it's my need, after putting up with all the B.S. I have from you and yours in this housing and in this company. I'm sick of being treated like a tool, I'm leaving, and I don't have to listen to you anymore." Plus, when another housing coordinator asked Michelle to leave the room even though she knows EVERYTHING I'd been through, I wanted to say "Okay, then she (the other housing coordinator whom I hate) has to leave to, because I don't want her knowing my personal stuff, and even if she already does and is part of this program or the housing, I just don't want her in here. If you can say that about someone I want present, then I should be able to say that about people you want present." But alas, I didn't, further allowing myself to be treated like Disney's bitch. But now it's all over with....

YATTA!

I got back here to Northridge late last night, slept in most of the morning, and then left to mail some stuff, enjoy some decent Chinese food, and then get some 2% milk at Vons. Sure, the fact that there's not as good a public transportation system here in Northridge bites, but it's just more incentive to walk (and buy some good walking shoes! Today I wore my strappy black kitten heels... that was a mistake) and learn to ride my bike. I'm already enrolled in 6 units worth of online classes; all I need are 2 more 3-unit classes to be full time. Hopefully then I can go back up to S.F. to be with my friends and family, and maybe even find some inspiration for all my projects. In the meantime, I've got a lot of room cleaning to do, and since it is technically the first week of school, some discussions to jump in on and PowerPoint lectures to read....

Wish me luck! :)
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Aug. 24th, 2008

sailormoon - mars M

*wails*

Well, I was eliminated in the very first preliminaries of Battle #18 over at [info]bssm_battle. It was my first ever icontest-type competition in a long while, and having lurked on the community and scoped out the competition, I knew it'd be a miracle if I DID make it past the prelims. Still, I'm a bit bummed about not just being eliminated (which means I wasn't in the Top 10), but scoring SECOND TO LAST. Yeah, I'm sure you can figure out which icon I made and which character I was from that. *sigh*

So, I have a lot of icon makers on my FL. What are your secrets? How do you go about making an icon? (Regardless of whether you do icontests or challenges, that is. If you do, by all means, talk about how you fit your idea to the restrictions.)

Tackle these hard-thought subject areas such as
* Originality: how do you stand out from the crowd?
* Aesthetics: how do you make it "eye-catching" or "pretty?" What combination of effects, be they layers of images, opacity, overlays, brushes, shapes, and/or fonts do you use?
* Timing: be honest, how long does it really take to churn out a "good" icon? How about a "great" or "excellent" one?
* Anything else....!?

Give examples (e.g. images) if you can. Point me at tutorials. Show me plugins, favorite brush download sites, whatever! I want help!

If I were to ever try again, I'd like some Pro Tips (so to speak) to help me out. I tried even though I wasn't very confident... matter of fact, the icon I did submit was the second one I attempted to make. I knew an image I wanted to work with, but it was getting that image into an idea, a coherent "form" that I struggled with. And even then, when I thought I'd decided on something, I hadn't. I scrapped everything-- format, layers, opacity, font, etc. for a new idea with the same art. I'm sure either way I would have failed, but... urgh, I want to try again! Someday....
ffx - yuna summons

Differences that make you think

Someone here on LJ p