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Sympathy for the Devil-Type

There has always been Our world, and Their world... and nothing else.

7/13/08 01:35 am - Too late

I stayed up way too late finishing the LJ mod.

Then again, al ot of time was wasted researching the VA's for the Ouran English dub, which is coming out in October, with all episodes at once (I think).

I'm already quailing at some of the cast. For starters, the woman playing Haruhi has an obnoxiously nasal voice, and I haven't heard her in anything else. e.e
Current Mood: exhausted

7/12/08 08:19 pm - Growing up?

Growing up, for me, over the last few years, has apparently meant learning to recognize when I can't do anything about a bad situation, or recognizing that I'm only going to make it worse. I seem to find it easier to accept when something bad or just stupid has happened, and move on. Some things are easier than others - when I found out they were moving me to the claustrophobic cubicle at work, I didn't handle it well at all, and only now have I accepted it (though I think knowing that if my panic attacks come back, I can get a doctor's note requiiring I can be moved, is helping).

Right now something kind of dumb is going on that involves me in name only, and I have very little information on it. It's all completely out of my power and I have rely on someone else to tell me what's happening when they find out.

I'm angry, but surprisingly calm. Especially since I have ways of going to the source when my source doesn't... but I don't feel the burning need to.

Maybe my Daemon is settling after all. XD

...

I wonder what my daemon would be...
Current Mood: aggravated

6/19/08 07:47 pm - Poor Mr. Dollar and SOOOOOFT TACOOOOOOO

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/444768 Dollar

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/391941 Taco

I LOL'd so hard.

6/17/08 10:41 pm - Frightening, idn't it?

6/1/08 06:41 pm - This makes you feel icky inside, but it needs to be seen.

5/20/08 11:21 pm - Kyouya-sempai hates you *heart*

I am in love with Ouran High School Host Club.

The Hitachiin brothers own my soul.

But they are only leasing it from Kyouya.

<3
Current Mood: giggly

2/24/08 04:41 pm - I'm not as out of shape as I thought. Who saw THAT coming?

So, I decided today I would take my first real walk in the area around my apartment. I ended up halfawy to the post office before deciding I would cut down toward the back roads and wind my way back home, satisfied that I still felt good and woudl definitely be able to walk there and home without being out of breath. (Considering how fat I am and how little real exercise I get, that's really impressive.. the post office is a few blocks from my place).

Curiosity got the best of me and I ended up down by the railroad tracks out by a Shell station and what appeared to be a dry cleaners. I somehow got the bright idea that it woudl be fun to walk along the tracks and climb the hill up to my apartment, and realized what a bad idea that was when I was halfway down the tracks. I looked at the hill and was like "nuts to this" and turned around.

Now, the ground next to the train track isn't exactly the best of walking terrain - slippery wher ethre was mud, pointy rocks abound and the like. So I ended up more winded from the short distance of walking along the tracks than I had been getting down there. I had also been walking down hill teh whole time.

So, a lovely uphill walk led me into another apartment complex's parking lot, which I hadn't realized had no outlet, and had assumed I could use as a shortcutu back to my apartment. nope! XD I had to walk the rest of the way back up the hill to where I had decided to deviate in teh first place.

The rest of the way was relatively easy walking, but my hamstrings had begun to burn. By the time I made it home, I couldn'tr eally feel the pain anymore - but instead of feet, it felt like I had water in my shoes. XD I'm actually not really winded at all, just tired. My feet already feel better but I'm sure my hammies are going to be unhappy tomorrow.

Maybe I could survive some gym time with Darrelyn and Criis.

But I already have plans for my money right now - I'm going to be paying at least $50 more on my car insurance soon, and may be enrolling in art at SPSCC (Japanese I is all full up and didn't have an evening class availible). I need to see what kinds of grants I can get... I may have to postponne starting school back up until next quarter though :( I got all depressed oevr it, but I feel a little better right now. It gives me time to save money up for it.
Current Mood: accomplished

2/19/08 11:06 pm - Updated look

I changed the background image of both the main page and of my content area.

I realyl like how the editing turned out on the image of Anthy and Utena embracing at the end of the Adolescence Apocalypse movie.

I'll have a mood set with characters from Utena eventually. :)
Current Mood: sleepy

2/19/08 11:05 pm - rate my loldog and win me a trip>?

crazy, funny pix
More on the online Poker Cats Contest
Current Mood: confused

2/19/08 09:23 pm - Spam always thinks I have a penis.

I was going through my spam box and one of the emails says "When SMALL is a dirty word... - Unleash the potent power in your pants" XD

Can I just say, ROFLCOPTER?

Why, yes. 

Yes I can. 
Current Mood: amused

1/20/08 10:39 pm - Homage to Serenity

In show of my love for Firefly, I have added verses to the theme song, Ballad of Serenity.

Cuz I could.

And cuz the fan-written extended lyrics I foudn were really bad. XD  Original lyrics in BOLD

Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me

Take me out to the black
Tell 'em I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea;
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me


Take the dirt, take the sea
Take anything you want from me
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me

Serenity will be my home
Through the black I'm bound to roam
Land's just not where I'll be;
You can't take the sky from me.

Among the stars I find my peace,
Now I've got Serenity
And you can't take the sky from me.


Take my world, my old life;
But you can't take away my pride
'Evermore, I'm still free -
You can't take the sky from me.

Even if I can't run, and I can't crawl
I'll soar away above it all
In the black is where I'll be
You can't take the sky from me.

There's no place I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me

Current Mood: crazy

1/19/08 05:32 pm - Oh, and because I stayed up late doing it and I really like how it turned out...

ART


Amara - Inner Glow by ~Jeishii on deviantART
IT'S PRETTY.

Go to my DeviantArt page and like, comment on my stuff, cuz it's so.. so.. barren.

I need a titty picture on there, so far the most favorited work I have is the one of Lilium being attacked by a tentacle monster. O.o

1/19/08 05:24 pm - Japan's so courteous.

 I purchased a copy of Divi-Dead because it's just too dark and gothy a game for me NOT to own (even if it is hentai ;) from Himeya Shop, since they were selling it cheap (and even with the airmail shipping it was cheaper than I could get it from a shop based in the U.S. since it's earned rare game status at this point). 

They're so courteous, they sent me 3 (count 'em, 3) packs of tissues.  For easy clean-up.

I love Japan.  They give you toiletries with your hentai. <3
Current Mood: amused

1/13/08 10:15 pm - Sometimes it's okay to have your car get hit in a parking lot.

Why?

Because their insurance has to pay up to repair the body damage.

But you don't have to use the money to repair the car.

Instead, you can use it towars PAYING OFF your car so you can eventually get a new one.  Which is very nice when, even with no body damage, your own car has very little trade-in value because it's a Hyundai.

Sometimes the world works in mysterious ways.

I now have $2200 I don't have to use to fix my car with.

Sweet.

Current Mood: cheerful

1/10/08 07:43 pm - Quicky update.

So to update:

1) I'm single again (my choice this time)

2) I got a score of 760/800 on my first GED test (Language Arts: Writing)

3) I took my 2nd GED test today (Language Arts: Reading)

4) I have nothing to put here, but I wanted the numbers to be even.
Current Mood: cranky

10/28/07 09:29 pm - My LOLcat. Let me show you it.


 

This mah lolcat, but may not mayk it to site foar long tyme. :(

10/22/07 10:25 pm - 2 thingz, kei? Then u can go.

funny cat picture


hedgelols - We�re in your hand Being tiny popples
Current Mood: amused

10/22/07 09:49 pm - Canadians! Answer my question!

Do black people in Canada call themselves African-Canadian? 

I ask because my boyfriend is from England and he says black people there just call themselves black.. or.. you know.. English.  Cuz they're.. You know.. From England.

If I went and became a citizen in Africa, can I be an American-African? Or would that be Anglo-African?

I'm technically Hispanic and Caucasian. Can I call myself an His-Cauc-American? Or Hispanic-Caucasian-American?

How about Unknown Originating Nationality-American? 

Or Not-native-but-born-here-anyway-American?

Why is it that White is a race instead of a skin color?

And why is it that different skin colors equate different races when we're all part of the human race?

The answers to these questions and more... someday.

Maybe.

9/21/07 04:13 pm - gone

i will be in ohio for a week.

Even if I was here, I wouldn't be online.  My grandmother passed away on Wednesday and it's all I can do not to fall apart. 

9/16/07 02:12 am - I really hate bugs.

Never before have I experienced such a spider problem.  And now, I found some type of beetle that looked like a small cockroach minus the antennae in my BATHROOM.  I'm not very happy right now.

My apartment iskept clean, sans soem clutter.  Especially lately - I let it get too cluttered and I had an issue with hunting spiders (the oens that live on the floor rather than spinning webs).  Due to my fear of hobo spiders, I cleaned up.  And tonight cuz of that damn beetle, I freaked out and went to walmart, got bleach, thick gloves, a mask (which I later learned should nOT be used for keeping out fumes, so it was a waste of money! Damn.), and a new shower curtain, and came home around 11:30 and scrubbed the shower, replaced teh curtain, began overhaul cleanup of apartment, and finaly got around to looking up natural extermination techniques for pests.

so the sudden rise in orb weaver babies in my apartment and that cockroaching sunuvvabitch (I'm not sure if it was an actual cockroach nymph, or just a beetle that looked similar - it didn't haved legs with the little serrated-like edges. and it didn't have long antennae, and it didn't look like it had wings) [update 07-13-2008: It was just a wood beetle.  No idea how it got in.] has me wanting to fumigate the place, but I'm looking for natural or non-chemical answers first. 

Is anyone out there familiar with electronic pest repellers? The things that emit ultra high frequency sounds that don't bother cats and dogs but drive spiders and insects crazy and drive them away?  I've read good reviews but I want to be careful on buying something that is so expensive and possibly completely useless.

I'm also wondering if anyone know easy natural recipes for spider and cockroach (in case it was a cockroach) repellents.  I read a lot of spider repellents, but cockroach oens seem more scarce.  Thus the EPR idea - using a pest repellent that effects multiple pests is my best shot.

so far it's looking like lemons (spiders hate lemons.. who'd have thought? and their taste buds are on their FEET! too weird.)... lemon pledge on the door and window sills to KEEP them out... and CATNIP for the POSSIBLE (hope to god nonexistant) cockroach issue.  I even replaced my shower curtain with a bigger, more epensive one and am willing to duct tape it shut to keep water from escaping naymore (the tub is curved very sharply and causes the liner curtain to not be able to hold water IN the tub when showering, and the faucet is so old, I can't adjust the head and stand further away from it without a high pitched squealing).

I'm really starting to hate apartments.  When bugs start infesting and you're pretty sure it isn't your fault, you have no idea which neighbour to blame.

I can'tw ait til I move to Ohio.  I'll miss everyone but I won't miss the damn spiders... plus Alan can afford to buy me all the  natural ingredients I need.. but due to his allergies I may just have to talk him into getting the EPRs (electronic pest repellers).

I really don't mind orb-weaver spiders.  We don't have black widows here (not in Pacific Northwest - they aren't natural to the araea, it isn't dry and hot enough for them here), so the only poisonous spiders on our menu are hobo spiders and the very similar brown recluse, which is also not a native but has been known to be shipped up bny accident in cars and such.  Both of these are hairy, freaky, ground-runners that build funnel webs low to the ground.  

But lately tyhere are a lot of orbweaver babies and a lot of mini giant house spiders, which look like hobo spiders and freak me out, so I have been killing them.. no mercy.

It's the time of year where bugs move into your house... I hate it.

Ugh, I have been up WAY too late.  I need to sleep.
Current Mood: cranky

9/8/07 12:05 am - 22 and all's well

Yesterday (as it is officially yesterday now), I turned 22.  It doesn't feel like much.  It just feels like time went by really fast.

As is best for me to do when starting a new year of my life, I will list the things I'm happy about and very grateful for right now.

 I'm grateful for Darrelyn and Victoria, who, although decades my elder, are just as young at heart as I am in actuality, but just as aged in years as I tend to act like.  They have stood by me in all this time, even given my strange lifestyle choices and my off-key romances, and they still care for me and will stand by me until the end.  There is no greater type of friend than that.

I'm grateful for my parents, who, even given my strangeness, bitterness, and all around psychosis, have always loved me and supported me and always will.

I'm grateful for Amanda, who has been my friend since freshman year of high school, and who will always be my most loved and cherished friend.

I'm grateful for my job, and my home, and my ability to keep my head above water, even if I do get hit with a few fierce waves.

I'm grateful for Alan, even though we will always have trying times because of who he is and who I am.  Even though I've known him for such a short period, I feel like I have known him longer. I'm grateful for the time we spent together over Labor Day Weekend, I'm grateful for the Pike's Place Market and for the places we went together.  I'm grateful for the way he makes me feel safe and loved, even when he's having second thoughts because of my age and place in life. I'm grateful that his fears aren't because I'm not good enough, but because he's scared of breaking me... none of the others had ever worried about that. I'm so very, very grateful for this relationship, even if it breaks some  of my own rules ("will not relocate" being one of them).

I'm grateful for my other friends, my co workers, and the people who have been so helpful and supportive in the last year. Slai, Candy, Monie, Aywren, Jeff, even the people I barely know at VAA.. they have all been really kind to me, and I will alawys be grateful for that.  Edwyn, for being a sneaky ninja in the background, showing me that yes, actually, there ARE people who are interested in what goes on in my life, even if they don't take an active role in it.

I'm even grateful for the bad things that have happened, because if they hadn't, I wouldn't have the strength to stand up to Alan's fears and say "I want this" with a clear conscience.  I can't hold myself up anymore, but I can give everything I have to another, and through that I can gain my strength back.  I am so very, very thankful to know I am needed and loved again.  To know that this time, it isn't just me throwing love at a wall and having it rebound back at me. 

This last year has been so very hurtful for me, but I realize I'm not the only one who has suffered.  It has also been so good to me.  I'm succeeding in my job (even if I may not be there long enough to get another promotion), I'm surviving at home, I'm holding on. 

I'm thankful for the roses I've gotten - I've never gotten flowers before, and Alan has shown a startling amount of romance in sending me roses on two occassions - once just because, and then yesterday, on my birthday.  I'm so grateful that he wants me with him, that he knows how messed up I am.  that he is strong enough to push me to better myself, that he's willing to do what it takes to get me to the doctor about my epilepsy-esque twitches, about my insomnia, he's actually concerned about my life and health and wants me to be happy.  Happy!

I'm so grateful that although I know moving will hurt her, Mom will support me as best she can, even with tears on her cheeks and sadness in her heart. I'm grateful that Dad is open-minded and loving and will support me in my choices as long as he's sure I am happy.

I have so much to regret, but I don't want to focus on that right now.  I just want to focus on the things I should be happy about, and above are just a few, the most important, of the bunch.

Hell, I'm even thankful for my little blue Yoshi which I sleep with every night now, imagining I can still smell the Vic's VapoRub and disheveled scent that was Alan on those last days due to the cold we managed to catch.  (Haha, I'm tempted to get a bottle of it just to smell to make me feel better).  I'm thankful for the way his eyes change colors when he's thinking (silver) and when he's happy (a wonderful medium blue).

I'm thankful that I will one day be in a place where they understand what kind of person I am and won't turn me away for being "weird" or "disturbed".  I'm thankful that for once, someone understands - really understands - my panic disorder, why I cut, why I suffer so much over so little.  I'm so very, very thankful to have you in my life Ren'ai, you've been one of the best gifts I could have possibly received, even if you don't read this journal. 

I am hurting right now. But I'm happy.  Even under all the pain and the loneliness and missing him...

I'm happy.

Please, Gods, please, Lilith, please, Isis, let this last.

Please let this be the right choice this time.

Because Heaven knows I won't see it if it isn't.

Current Mood: grateful

8/26/07 07:29 pm - YouTube randomness FTW!

Current Mood: LOL

8/26/07 12:26 am - Do you REALLY think about it when you download anime?

Food for thought.

I know a lot of you out there download anime.  Even licensed anime that has been legally subbed or dubbed, and are availible for purchase.  (Please bear in mind that downloading non-licensed anime that has been fansubbed is just as illegal as licensed, you're just less likely to get in trouble for it because the Japanese companies are less likely to go after you than the NA ones).

Do any of you think about the following?

- The damage this is doing to the anime export industry in Japan?

- The damage this is doing to the mangaka or other creators of the original anime?

 - The damage this does to the anime import industry, such as to prices and availibility?  (I.E., anime used to be availible with several episodes per disc at the same prices we now pay for 2 or 3, if we're lucky, per DVD disc; also, why should a company license an anime that people already download and watch?)

- Do you realize that Naruto, which has a tremendous following based off of stolen episodes, has very low ratings on Cartoon Network BECAUSE all of those people watched it illegally, thus costing Cartoon Network money and making it less and less likely for them to show new anime because they don't have the money to license other titles (Like Rozen Maiden or Aa! Megami-sama! or some other interesting title that isn't all filler and drawn out battle sequences)?

- Do you give a shit? I assume you don't, because you keep doing it.

I have to ask, what makes you feel that it's okay to steal these works that you're supposedly such a fan of?  Why is it different from shoplifting an anime DVD from the store?  Is it simply easier to do because you won't get caught, or think you won't get caught?

ODEX, a company in Singapore, has already put the anime theft issue to the test, and hired an unnamed US company to track the IP's of the people downloading the anime they have the license to distribue in Singapore.  They found a huge number of them, many of them school kids.

So far, this sort of drastic measure has not been turned full-force onto US residents downloading illegally, but what is going to stop ADV, Pioneer, or even Funimation from doing the same thing?  You can't claim ignorance; really, now, you know better.  Your mamma told you stealing is wrong.

I guess what I am asking is that you all take a few minutes to really think about what you're doing when you download anime.  It's already so expensive, those of us who can barely make ends meet when we're flooded with bills can't exactly buy mounds of anime, but it can be accessed legally through rental channels, even through netflix, so who am I to complain? 

I have opened my horizons to several new anime, including Magic Knights Rayearth, Peacock King, and Maze: The Mega Burst Space through my Netflix account.  You can all do the same; the selection is surprisingly large, and they have something to offer for everyone.

Anime IS availible from other venues; borrowing it from a friend, renting it from a video store or from Netflix, borrowing it from your local libary (the Timberland Regional Library system has a surprising amount of anime, including, last I checked, the entire first 2 seasons of Sailormoon, subbed and unedited), and, gasp, through purchasing.  Those of you who spend all your spare money on RPG materials or going to conventions or making costumes who say you can't afford to purchase it legally can easily set aside the hundreds of dollars that go into all of those things and instead set up an anime purchasing fund.

It's all about money management and finding good deals (and no, Id on't mean pirated anime, that isn't any more legal than downloading it.).

With so many avenues for accessing anime legally, why do you all feel the need toc ontinue to download it illegally?

Some general answers I have gotten from people who download anime, claiming it's common sense, really:

- The importers are ripping us off, the dubs and subs are rediculously priced.

- I started watching Naruto/Bleach/insertcurrentobsessionhere online and if I wait for it to be dubbed, I'll get behind.  I'm on episode xxx whereas the dub/legal sub has only made it to episode x!! I can't wait, are you kidding me?

- Moral values? What moral values? *steals candy from a baby*

Okay, yes, so that last one was all me.  But realistically, is that what the allure is? It really is like stealing candy from a baby. 

But it also shows a grave amount of disrespect toward the creators and all of the people who put massive amounts of hard work into procuding the anime.

I figure none of you are going to stop just because I brought up the fact that you're hurting the people you supposedly are such huge fans of (the creators) by stealing their work.  But I guess as Alan said to me when we talked about it.

It isn't about making everyone stop. It's about making everyone listen, if just for a moment, and getting one or two to really hear you, and those one or two getting another one or two people to hear them.  It's like any concept or ideal; you can only do what you can, but if you do what you can, and the people who heard you do what they can, it ripples out.

Maybe we can all start being a little less criminal and a little more supportive of an industry  we claim to be such zealots of. 
Current Mood: curious

8/26/07 12:10 am - Persephone

So I felt like doing art of my Heroes Unlimited character. I don't remember her nick name.. Persephone was one of the names I used but I can't recall the other name.

This is the SMALL version, about the size of the image if it were to be printed from the original version.

Current Mood: artistic

7/31/07 10:44 pm - Thinking about a change

This has been my livejournal for many years now.  It has chronicled much, most of it pain and angst.

I was thinking about changing journals soon, maybe switching off to a new journal.

I'm considering having it friend-locked.

If you read my journal and are interested in being inlcuded in a new friend-locked journal if I do decide to abandon this one for a fresh start, please leave me a comment.

I won't consider you less of a friend if you don't leave a message, you just won't be able to read the entries.

Bear in mind this is a maybe thing.

I just think.. especially after the last post about Amy's death and.. no one but Slai really caring.. That I really need to move on and away from some things, and I think changing a few small things in my liffe will help with that.

- J

Current Mood: sleepy
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