i will.. kill the one you love..i will tear him limb from limb for you..

10:10pm: Fuck Boston
man, fuck you, boston.

i get home from work.
and guess what i see when i turn the tv on to check the game score from todays hockey game? we fucking held out in overtime, 3-3 and are going to a shootout o_o
the world hates me
i hate watching shootouts. and they say kolzig had been unjured on the very last second of the OT. o_o; its.. like.. serious. against all odds. semin and laich miss.. ovechkin scores.. heart attacks galore, naturally..
but fuck you boston.
4 games this season, and youve won every single one in shootout --;

just... go shoot yourself.

6:24pm: 155% attention
Freaky Losir (18:14:43): So Dasha DOES want full attention
Checkered Lilacs (18:14:55): dasha wants 155% attention
Freaky Losir (18:15:10): That's creepy =_=;;;
Checkered Lilacs (18:15:15): why?
Freaky Losir (18:15:19): I'd have to be talking to you on the phone and typing
Freaky Losir (18:15:23): And that's still only 100
Freaky Losir (18:15:24): o_O;
Checkered Lilacs (18:15:25): no
Checkered Lilacs (18:15:28): youd hafta be here
Checkered Lilacs (18:15:33): and talking to me online
Checkered Lilacs (18:15:35): and on the phone
Checkered Lilacs (18:15:38): while cooking for me
Checkered Lilacs (18:15:40): and running me a bath
Freaky Losir (18:16:21): O_o
Freaky Losir (18:16:28): I'm not capable of that
Checkered Lilacs (18:16:33): should be
Checkered Lilacs (18:16:48): oh, while also thinking about me the entire time o.o
Freaky Losir (18:18:42): That's again
Freaky Losir (18:18:49): Creepily incapable
Checkered Lilacs (18:19:23): you could at least try
Freaky Losir (18:19:42): What if I...
Freaky Losir (18:19:49): What if I just hold you in my arms
Freaky Losir (18:19:59): And whisper into your ear how much I love you
Freaky Losir (18:20:10): Quietly, just enough so that only you could hear it
Checkered Lilacs (18:20:17): hm
Checkered Lilacs (18:20:28): it would hafta be very convincing
Freaky Losir (18:21:22): Oh don't worry
Freaky Losir (18:21:23): It will be

11:11pm: mm alexander semin
Checkered Lilacs (23:10:15): hockey > hygiene
NewAgeSlacker15 (23:10:49): lol, I disagree
Checkered Lilacs (23:10:56): clearly you dont know what youre talking about >.>

6:20am: best movie ever // update//
It's been a while since i wrote. Amazing, no? Only cause i don't keep up with anything for long enough..


So, news? My mom = still a whore.
And recently, someone i used to care about who abruptly ended our friendship has decided to start talking to me again.. Which.. was awkward. And I'm afraid to ask them why, cause i think i might know what the answer will be.

I wish days were longer, so that I could sleep more.



I saw my favorite movie last night! Finally >.>
I saw Perfume - the story of a murderer.
And it was fucking glorious o_o <3 best movie ever. EVER! It kinda sucks that last time we went to go see it, it didnt work out ._. cause that means I can't share the wonderfulness of it with anyone, since its. well, in russian >.>
Best movie ever.
The End

10:20pm: so yeah.

i...

whatever i do, dont take it to heart....





you'll know when/if you see me.

this has been by far the worst break, the worst weekend of my fucking life.

6:38pm:

10:29pm: you should take this quiz =/

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/personality

6:23pm: omfg zz

you doubted that my other friends suck?
pure proof right here:

Checkered Lilacs (18:20:46): rosie .-.
Checkered Lilacs (18:20:47): im bored
Checkered Lilacs (18:20:49): lets go somewhere
Electricmouse21 (18:20:54): now?
Checkered Lilacs (18:20:57): yeah
Electricmouse21 (18:21:00): o_x
Electricmouse21 (18:21:05): i have to have permission
Checkered Lilacs (18:21:17): so ask o_O
Checkered Lilacs (18:21:25): get your mom or whatnot to take us somewhere..
Checkered Lilacs (18:21:29): zz
Electricmouse21 (18:21:53): mom and dad just left to a tupperware party. xP
Checkered Lilacs (18:22:03): well. =/
Checkered Lilacs (18:22:07): figure out something to do
Checkered Lilacs (18:22:10): please? =/
Electricmouse21 (18:22:22): It's like... 6:30 dasha..
Checkered Lilacs (18:22:26): yeah
Checkered Lilacs (18:22:28): so?
Electricmouse21 (18:22:28): its kinda late to start making plans.
Checkered Lilacs (18:22:31): not really
Checkered Lilacs (18:22:41): usually we make plans around 6 and all get together around 7
Electricmouse21 (18:22:49): that's because you stay out late
Checkered Lilacs (18:22:56): not really o_O
Electricmouse21 (18:22:59): I have to be home at nine on the weekdays
Electricmouse21 (18:23:33): *sigh* i don't have any ideas on what to do, and i don't have anyone to drive us
Electricmouse21 (18:24:11): my mom probably wouldn't trust someone even I don't know to drive me... so i don't think your friends would be able to do it...
Electricmouse21 (18:24:18): and i don't even think i'm allowed

omfg zz what are you, 5? .-.

[edit]

so yeah, i called like.. everyone on my phone list o_O bastards and their working. martell is gonan call steve, hockey steve, to see if he wants to hang out with me and/or possibly feed em since im hungry zz; bastard martell works till 9 though, so.

im really hyper all of a sudden ._.; and B O R E D omg.

so far the following have failed me
rosie,
katy
frank
martell
kevin
kat
ashley

12:07am: Pyromaniac Hoax (23:44:37): hey
Checkered Lilacs (23:44:43): omfg
Checkered Lilacs (23:44:47): russians = win
Checkered Lilacs (23:44:48): o.o
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:44:51): lol
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:44:54): go mother russia?
Checkered Lilacs (23:44:57): damn right
Checkered Lilacs (23:45:04): we beat that damn weasel and his whore xO
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:45:17): which one?
Checkered Lilacs (23:45:23): agosto
Checkered Lilacs (23:45:35): ben fucking agosto and whatever the fuck her name
Checkered Lilacs (23:45:39): o_o
Checkered Lilacs (23:45:57): god that bastard is SUCH a weasel you jus wanna hit him zz
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:46:35): but but weasels are cute and fuzzy
Checkered Lilacs (23:46:42): not this one.
Checkered Lilacs (23:46:46): have you seen this hooker? ;-;
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:46:53): nope
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:00): and his canadian prostitute?
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:02): man wtf xx;
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:16): this girl? she got her citizenship, american citizenship
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:19): on new years o_o
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:23): last fucking day it was allowed for her to be able to go to the olympics
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:35): cause americas a slut and buys all of their atheletes ._.;
Checkered Lilacs (23:48:34): im such an angry individual.
Checkered Lilacs (23:48:39): but i swear, hes a damn weasel.
Checkered Lilacs (23:48:40): o_o
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:48:50): lol
Checkered Lilacs (23:48:52): he jus looks like hes about to rape you and get away with it
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:48:58): lmao
Checkered Lilacs (23:49:03): WEASEL
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:49:03): that would be unpleasent
Checkered Lilacs (23:49:06): omg xx hate
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:49:13): i can tell
Checkered Lilacs (23:49:26): im not usually this angry?
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:49:53): well you are, but its usually more general anger.. or anger towards dave
Checkered Lilacs (23:50:14): not this much
Checkered Lilacs (23:50:20): at least dave isnt a rapist weasel whore.
Checkered Lilacs (23:50:21): =/
Checkered Lilacs (23:50:30): with an ugly prostitute on his arm
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:50:50): all the ice dancers are prostitutes
Checkered Lilacs (23:50:57): no.
Checkered Lilacs (23:51:11): they did not sell their soul and their fucking country.
Checkered Lilacs (23:51:15): not like that whore o_o
Checkered Lilacs (23:51:19): and the weasel omg xx
Checkered Lilacs (23:51:52): http://www.nbcolympics.com/2006/0221/5122778_640X480.jpg
Checkered Lilacs (23:51:55): ok, see?
Checkered Lilacs (23:52:05): russians, that fucking weasel and the canadian whore, and the ukraneans.
Checkered Lilacs (23:52:16): weasel o______O
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:52:59): pssst
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:53:05): which ones which?
Checkered Lilacs (23:53:12): o_o
Checkered Lilacs (23:53:15): just look at the guys
Checkered Lilacs (23:53:18): youll see the damn weasel
Checkered Lilacs (23:53:24): ugh.. o_____O
Checkered Lilacs (23:53:25): weasel
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:53:26): is he in the middle?
Checkered Lilacs (23:53:27): bastard xx
Checkered Lilacs (23:53:30): ...
Checkered Lilacs (23:53:35): next time i see you?
Checkered Lilacs (23:53:38): youre fucking dead.
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:53:47): look i don't know whose who...
Checkered Lilacs (23:53:55): i dont care o_o
Checkered Lilacs (23:54:00): do i care, no.
Checkered Lilacs (23:54:02): youre dead.
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:54:03): ok then hes the one on the left
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:54:15): the weaselly looking one
Checkered Lilacs (23:54:25): i told you hes a fucking weasel, but noo
Checkered Lilacs (23:54:31): you gotta insult the graciously poised russians.
Checkered Lilacs (23:54:36): i hate you.
Checkered Lilacs (23:54:37): o_o
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:54:42): :-(
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:54:50): i'm sorry.. i didn't mean anything by it
Checkered Lilacs (23:55:06): ...made me all.. angry zz;
Checkered Lilacs (23:55:12): youre dead, im serious.
Checkered Lilacs (23:55:14): dead.
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:55:21): but... i didn't mean to...
Checkered Lilacs (23:55:32): ok, when i sent you the picture, what did i say?
Checkered Lilacs (23:55:54): Checkered Lilacs (23:52:05): russians, that fucking weasel and the canadian whore, and the ukraneans.
Checkered Lilacs (23:52:16): weasel o______O
Checkered Lilacs (23:55:57): exactly.
Checkered Lilacs (23:56:17): and you dare ask if hes "Pyromaniac Hoax (23:54:15): the weaselly looking one"
Checkered Lilacs (23:56:27): what else would i mean by calling him a weasel?
Checkered Lilacs (23:56:28): o__o
Checkered Lilacs (23:56:36): do the russians look like a weasel and a canadian whore to you?
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:56:53): well i didnt make that connection until after i said the middles one was him
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:57:08): the middle guy looks kinda american...
Checkered Lilacs (23:57:12): and i threatened you?
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:57:20): to me at least
Checkered Lilacs (23:57:25): hes fucking russian, dont insult him like that.
Checkered Lilacs (23:57:35): you. youre so dead...
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:57:40): i don't like this conversation...
Checkered Lilacs (23:57:47): so very very very much dead..
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:57:49): i'm like digging my own grave
Checkered Lilacs (23:57:55): no, no..
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:57:58): and burying myself in it
Checkered Lilacs (23:57:59): let the weasel dig it for you.
Checkered Lilacs (23:58:04): fucking weasel omg xx
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:58:08): lmao
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:58:14): at least he lost
Checkered Lilacs (23:58:19): he got silver.
Checkered Lilacs (23:58:27): thats too good for a rapist weasel like him
Checkered Lilacs (23:58:30): and a canadian prostitute.
Checkered Lilacs (23:58:39): ew.
Checkered Lilacs (23:58:42): youre dead.
Checkered Lilacs (23:58:53): couldnt insult the ukraneans, could you?
Checkered Lilacs (23:58:54): noo
Checkered Lilacs (23:58:57): had to insult the russians
Checkered Lilacs (23:58:58): TWICE
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:59:02): well i knew who the urkanians were
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:59:09): they were the creepy looking ones
Checkered Lilacs (23:59:30): whats your biggest fear?
Checkered Lilacs (23:59:32): o_o
Pyromaniac Hoax (23:59:49): i'm not going to tell you, you'll use it against me
Checkered Lilacs (23:59:57): nuh-uh, i promise >.>;
Pyromaniac Hoax (0:00:04): then why do you want to know/
Checkered Lilacs (0:00:11): well, fine, look at it this way
Checkered Lilacs (0:00:14): if you -dont- tell me
Checkered Lilacs (0:00:20): ill just do everything i can fucking think of.
Checkered Lilacs (0:00:30): to make you s u f f e r
Pyromaniac Hoax (0:00:35): :-(
Pyromaniac Hoax (0:01:26): my biggest fear is of worms... i get physically ill when someone even mentions them
Checkered Lilacs (0:01:34): i dont believe you.
Pyromaniac Hoax (0:01:40): then dont
Checkered Lilacs (0:01:52): id much rather try for, say, roaches.
Checkered Lilacs (0:01:53): in your bed.
Pyromaniac Hoax (0:02:08): that would be pretty bad too
Checkered Lilacs (0:02:20): man..
Checkered Lilacs (0:02:24): if you have any unfinished business
Checkered Lilacs (0:02:29): i suggest you finish it.
Pyromaniac Hoax (0:03:19): man.. one day you're like all nice, and i make one accidental comment and you threaten my life
Pyromaniac Hoax (0:04:07): i need to go to sleep... i'll try and think of some way of making it up to you tomorrow
Checkered Lilacs (0:04:11): hahahaha
Checkered Lilacs (0:04:14): youre funny
Checkered Lilacs (0:04:18): too bad youre gonna die --
Pyromaniac Hoax (0:04:22): :-(
Pyromaniac Hoax is away at 0:04:41.

9:15am: been working like crazy =/
so, yeah, thats about it.

the Perfectionist Test finished!

you chose CZ - your Enneagram type is ONE. "I do everything the right way" Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals. How to Get Along with Me Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work. Acknowledge my achievements. I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am. Tell me that you value my advice. Be fair and considerate, as I am. Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive. Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first. What I Like About Being a One being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal working hard to make the world a better place having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people What's Hard About Being a One being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met feeling burdened by too much responsibility thinking that what I do is never good enough not being appreciated for what I do for people being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am obsessing about what I did or what I should do being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously Ones as Children Often criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers are very responsible; may assume the role of parent hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry") Ones as Parents teach their children responsibility and strong moral values are consistent and fair discipline firmly Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose CZ Would you rather have chosen: AZ (THREE) BZ (FIVE) CX (TWO) CY (SIX)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 0% on ABC You scored higher than 0% on XYZ

Link: The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

10:24pm:

Arena (known to self and others) insecure, selfish, needy, cold	Blind Spot (known only to others) incompetent, timid, cowardly, violent, glum, stupid, withdrawn, hostile, unhappy, cynical, irrational, distant, chaotic, impatient, weak, loud, unethical, insensitive, self-satisfied, overdramatic
Façade (known only to self) intolerant, cruel	Unknown (known to nobody) inflexible, aloof, simple, irresponsible, vulgar, lethargic, unhelpful, unimaginative, inane, brash, ignorant, childish, boastful, blasé, imperceptive, embarrassed, vacuous, panicky, passive, smug, rash, dispassionate, dull, predictable, callous, inattentive, unreliable, foolish, humourless

Dominant Traits

57% of people think that dashka is distant

All Percentages

incompetent (14%) intolerant (0%) inflexible (0%) timid (14%) cowardly (14%) violent (42%) aloof (0%) glum (28%) stupid (14%) simple (0%) insecure (42%) irresponsible (0%) vulgar (0%) lethargic (0%) withdrawn (14%) hostile (28%) selfish (28%) unhappy (28%) unhelpful (0%) cynical (28%) needy (14%) unimaginative (0%) inane (0%) brash (0%) cruel (0%) ignorant (0%) irrational (14%) distant (57%) childish (0%) boastful (0%) blasé (0%) imperceptive (0%) chaotic (14%) impatient (14%) weak (14%) embarrassed (0%) loud (14%) vacuous (0%) panicky (0%) unethical (14%) insensitive (14%) self-satisfied (14%) passive (0%) smug (0%) rash (0%) dispassionate (0%) overdramatic (14%) dull (0%) predictable (0%) callous (0%) inattentive (0%) unreliable (0%) cold (14%) foolish (0%) humourless (0%)

Arena (known to self and others) independent, logical, observant, proud, sensible	Blind Spot (known only to others) adaptable, bold, clever, complex, dependable, dignified, energetic, friendly, helpful, idealistic, intelligent, introverted, knowledgable, loving, mature, powerful, relaxed, self-assertive, self-conscious, sentimental, spontaneous, trustworthy, warm
Façade (known only to self) quiet	Unknown (known to nobody) able, accepting, brave, calm, caring, cheerful, confident, extroverted, giving, happy, ingenious, kind, modest, nervous, organised, patient, reflective, religious, responsive, searching, shy, silly, sympathetic, tense, wise, witty

Dominant Traits

71% of people think that dashka is intelligent

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (0%) adaptable (14%) bold (14%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (28%) complex (42%) confident (0%) dependable (14%) dignified (14%) energetic (14%) extroverted (0%) friendly (14%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (14%) idealistic (14%) independent (28%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (71%) introverted (14%) kind (0%) knowledgable (14%) logical (28%) loving (14%) mature (42%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (28%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (14%) proud (14%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (14%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (14%) self-conscious (14%) sensible (14%) sentimental (14%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (14%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (28%) warm (14%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

9:06pm: so, today was day 3 of my working-ness


im absuing everyone as per rides, but i think i finally have that situation settled. after meeting with my boss today, i decided to take on at least another 30 min of work per day, which amounts to a total of 3. oh wow. but yes, i work every weekday, so.

also, im getting a raise. cause they upped minimum wage to 6.15 xO zomg. i was so happy..



on a different note, if you need to call me, call the house first o_O my mom bitched at me for having over 500 minutes last month. when she used up over 900 0_o;
i think me talking so much was mainly because of that one time kait called n wouldnt let me sleep and we were on the phone for 4 hours zz;
also, dont text me plz. call instead of texting, and call the house instead of calling the cell, unless you know for a fact that im out[which i usually am]




ive been pretty good lately o.o; only i really miss stalking. =/ a lot..

1:05am: im being stupid lately. yay.
i just really need some leverage right now. you know, one of those people who grounds you? makes everything not as bad? [ha, like theres anything really bad other than my head being fucked up]

either way. i need a vacation. i just got home from one today, but.. eh o_O what kinda vacation is family time anyway? i need a road trip, only on foot, across the entire continent. anyone wanna come with? just walk all the way to like, california, or whatnot. i think itd be pleasant. if we dont get raped/robbed/murdered. *shurgs* either way, pleasant.

on a different note, i changed again. im bad at consistency. youll know what i mean when you see me.

on another different note, this is my final farewell to my wife. may she have long days and pleasant nights upon the earth. Without me.
yeah. im done with that. for sure this time. no amount of apologizing can make me forgive her. cause ye know, she never really did anything..... which was the problem. its fucking impossible carrying on a relationship when you talk at best once a month, and you ask "oh honey, where have you been, hows your life going? i missed you" and they just apologize and make excuses and say eevrything will be better, and.. leave. for another month..
yeah.
screw that. i think ive taken more than any sane person should have to.



on a more positive [or maybe negative? i dont know, i cant tell the difference] note, i start my new job Tuesday. new job on v-day... good times? xx; whatever. meager pay, menial labor-intensive work, and extended training. yay z__z





someone please get me out of the house tommorow [monday]
since schools are closed, i -need- to get out. my house makes my head hurt.

6:18am: what kind of a decent, loyal, hardworking mother and wife goes out in the middle of the night when her husband leaves for work?
what kind of a person leaves at 9pm to "go get gas" and then calls at 11pm to say she'll be another hour or so and then doesnt get home until 1am?

what kind of a person says to not tell her spouse about her going out almost every night, because she says "you know how he overreacts to things like this."









to hell with overreacts =/

3:03pm: today, i failed.



the end

6:47pm: im just so tired.


so sorry if i havent been there.
i sit here alone, and ill look over, and my cats there.. and.. well, i fall asleep with him on my face. hes the only one who's ever loved me. and thats only cause i feed him =/


well. i have a competition tommorow. stupid skills usa. id kinda rather get a small pointy object and stab myself in the head over and over than go.

this conversation summarizes my feelings about skillsUSA
roxyjane84 (14:30:48): u did see the part where we have to wear black leather shoes and we had to order one of the skillsUSA polo's right
Checkered Lilacs (14:31:10): i have black leather shoes zz;
Checkered Lilacs (14:31:21): as for the shirt.. right now i cant breathe so i dont care.
roxyjane84 (14:31:28): y not
Checkered Lilacs (14:31:35): seriously, this skills usa thing is jus being a bitch o_O
Checkered Lilacs (14:31:57): "well join and thats all youll hafta do"
"fine.."
"but pay like 15 bucks xO"
Checkered Lilacs (14:32:00): zz;
roxyjane84 (14:32:08): haha
Checkered Lilacs (14:32:17): "well do this competition. we alreay signed you up"
"fine"
"but you hafta pay 20 bucks o_o"
roxyjane84 (14:32:35): you coulda just passed it along to the next person
Checkered Lilacs (14:32:45): "well, the competitions soon, and you hafta fill out this form"
"fine"
"but order a shirt and go buy shoes and fucking love us and pay us money nonstop"
Checkered Lilacs (14:33:01): no i couldnt have cause mrs mccarty signed me up and didnt tell me o_O;
roxyjane84 (14:33:24): you still could have...before we got the info n stuff
Checkered Lilacs (14:33:29): order me a shirt zz ill pay you back
roxyjane84 (14:33:53): i think it might be a lil late...cuz it takes like...a lil over a week...
Checkered Lilacs (14:34:04): well that just sucks doesnt it? oh well
roxyjane84 (14:34:05): we got like...6 days
Checkered Lilacs (14:34:08): i really dont care zz;
Checkered Lilacs (14:34:30): im sick as hell and i have trouble sleeping and.. screw skills usa it really isnt a priority for me right now.
roxyjane84 (14:34:38): oook
roxyjane84 (14:34:47): nice to hear u feel that way
roxyjane84 (14:34:48): lol
Checkered Lilacs (14:35:08): ive felt this way towards this stupid organization since we started this thing.

seriously. i never wanted to join. i never wanted to be the representative for our class for it o_O or to be in this competition, or to be a tour guide, or a peer helper, or the endless amounts of extra work votech piles up on me. i swear, sometimes its like i do more than the teacher.
someone has a question, they ask me. o_O what the fuck. seriously. shes getting paid to teach you bastards, ask her --;

ugh. the point is, i have that stupid competition tommorow. hafta be there by 6:45am -- will probably have transportation issues and end up walking there. oh goody.


also. job. wont celebrate. too pissed off lately. i need a break. like a vacation, a nice trip somewhere far away from all the people i know for a decent month or two. damn i wish it was summer and i could ditch everything and go to russia.

oh, also, in case you havent heard, im now not allowed to have friends, according to my parents. whatever. its probably better this way.



my plans for the next month or so?**
feb 4th. skills usa regionals. ill win, naturally, thats expected from me even by the principal of the fucking school o_O
feb 10-13th, im gone.
feb 13th, 3:30, first day at work.
feb 14th, v-day. ill curse every god that doesnt exist in this world and miss my wife to death and probably call her 15 times. then ill do something stupid and impulsive. im good at that lately. probably something hsm related, like today. if she ever bothers to answer, ill die from missing her so much. if she doesnt, ill die anyway. only slower.
feb. 17th, i go to the baltimore convention center and get free stuff, go thieving around my old neighberhood, and probably get mugged, but maybe not.
feb 28th, ill marvel at how february is spelled with 2 rs and has only 28 days.

** all dates, times, etc not mentioned will be spent sleeping.


wow. now you know. [actually, no you dont, but you dont need to.]






talk to me. it might make me more..jubilant. eh.
better yet, if you wanna fix dasha, get her a knife.








sorry this is so long, angsty, and emo. i blame my stupidity. blame me too, youre good at it.

7:55pm:

You Are 76% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at high risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is very likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at high risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is very likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

*shurgs*


on another note. i got a job. starting Monday, the 13th, so the week after next. should be quite the boring office job, i must admit. 3:30 to 6:30 every day after school. hm. ill probably have transportation issues. i always have transportation issues. but hopefully ill work something out.




also: killer headache zz i kinda wanna go back to sleep.

7:11pm: =/

that.. makes me amused. we so hafta do that


oh yeah, and btw... videos from last night.
theyll take a while to load. a lot of them are really long zz; mostly in order.

7:34am: haha
wouldnt it be funny if i just died.?










i think it would.

6:12am: oh yes, hang out action.

http://www.freewebs.com/hunan/dashaweekend.html


also, i cant sleep. xx no clue as to why.

11:47pm: dont you hate guests?
so im about to have dinner.. and a buncha people show up at my house zz; hookers. by a bunch i specifically mean ryan rob rodger mike and andrew.

..hookers.

so i kick em out. cause.. eh. dinner>them
my dad all freaked out too zz; whatever.

so they left.. and i was upstairs drinking soda, and kait sent me like some link and for some reason, i jus..died. xx and choked on my soda and was standing there wheezing for a decent 5 minutes or so. not like anyone in the house noticed, but whatever zz
but that whole incident totally made my keyboard die. and not jus *fizz* die, but decay gradually. it was fine at first. by the time kait got here, i suppose the soda spread through the circuits, and my y key looked like y7
after another hour or so, it was uy7
by the time she left, none of the letters typed out. it would just do random actions. and somehow i fucked up my comp and.. yea

so it was around 10:30 i believe? me and kait were upstairs in my office, and ryan calls. and he's like "dasha. its ryan. we're outside your house."

what the fuck zz

yeah. and being the proper hostess i am, i figured it would be rude to just tell them "no, you cant come in" so i let them in.
eh.

big mistake on my part? perhaps.
i swear anything not fucking glued down was taken. howre you gonna come into a russian persons house and steal their liquor and cigarettes? eh. this is why i hate having people in my house. me and kait were better off without them.
they were loud
they could have broken stuff
and they talked about the stupidest shit zz;

this could have all been done at like, mcdonalds or something. why come to my house? no fucking clue.
and i was tired, really i was.. i cared, but only maybe 5%? and especially after kait left. me against the world. whatever... apathy realy is the worst killer.

good news is, now i wanna kill all of em =D yay. except Andrew. he wasnt as bad.
mike almost got off the hook, but kait reminded me;
Checkered Lilacs (23:46:56): i sorta wanna kill em all zz
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:01): xept andrew, he wasnt as bad.
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:07): and mike didnt do much.
Homicidalhacker (23:47:12): Ye, they just sat. o.o
Homicidalhacker (23:47:15): And busted ass. >_>
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:24): well fine, mike dies for that
Homicidalhacker (23:47:34): Lmao.
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:40): so, yeah
Checkered Lilacs (23:47:45): i wanna kill em all xept andrew zz

my advice to you: pay attention.





after they left, i felt sorta.. used xx and dirty.





so yeah, my dads uber pissed at me now, and my "weekend with kait" might be over already.
cause i told him kait was coming over. which was ok. its just kait. but now he thinks cause the guys all decided to show up that i fucking lied to him, and that i always lie to him, and all this other bullshit.. and.. whatever..
ill deal with it later.

12:32am:

Your Dirty Icon by clockwise
Name
Sex	FemaleMaleYes PleaseEWW GrossHa Ha you said "SEX"
Favorite Letter	ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
Birth Month	JanFebMarchAprilMayJuneJulyAugSepOctNovDec
Your Dirty Icon Is...
Quiz created with MemeGen!

11:58pm: soo.. today. i was lazy, so i made e-man and nate drive me home xD so i got home really early.. like, around 9:45. and mike called me and we tried to get more people to come, but it ended up jus him coming over.

since we had nothing to do, and wow, ryan was online >.> we went to raid his house for food. o.o yay pizza. and then we watched him do the dishes for like.. haha 15-20 minutes? xD i stole his house key. he splashed me with water =/ took the key back. well, i took it again. he kicked us out through the basement door, but i had the key so we went around to the front.. didnt even hafta use it, he opened the door for us o_O i made it in, even with him struggling. mike wouldnt help me --; yeah..i probably have a few bruises from ryan forcing me back out of his house, and theres the randomest cut on the inside of my elbow o_O and my pinkie finger. but whatever.

so, no good at ryan's. he has to fail a precalc test so he cant come do something with us. we went to marley n wandered around, called rodger a couple times, gave up on that zz;

andrew told me earlier that morning to call him. we did, nobody picked up. so we jus went to his house xD watched him make breakfast. watched him record the sounds of "FAILURE!" on his computer. needed to get cables for that, so we made a trip to radioshack.
well, yeah. we couldnt really get ahold of anyone else, so we took andrew to work, and i was pretty tired/hungry by this point, so i went home too. zz we ordered pizza [pepperoni, sausage, ham] from A1, and i ate and fell asleep xD



woke up. it was 11:30. i thought it shoulda been morning. cause im like.. up o_o
but gimme like another 15 min and ill be out. im good like that~

10:01pm: due for a major update much? yeah, just a little.
so.. going back.. o_o

saturday night, its like, 10:30 or so. frankie calls me
frankie:"dashaa... where da party at?"
dash:"..... frank. youre not naked outside my house again, are you?"
frankie: "..maaaybe.."

he, martell, and steven were bored. naturally, i was the like, 4th person on their list of whom to call. so since my dad was working and my mother was "out" [ugh], they came over. it was around 11 when they showed up.
frankie and martell left o_o; and walked to amandas house to get her or say hi or whatever. left steven with me. o_O i dont even know this boy, and hes all.. in my house zz;;;
oh, and earlier that night, i went shopping.
im a pimp xO


so, as sooo many people do, steve passes out on my couch.


..yeah. >.>; this is steve o_O he plays hockey o_o

so frankie and martell come back [we're spying on em from my window in the dark with binoculars] and erin and amanda are with them:

so we.. all gather up in my kitchen. and theyre all "dasha. we heard you have sex counters in your basement. we wanna see."
but i knew that rodger and mike were on their way, so we waited.


so yeah.. rodger n mike get there, amazingly enough. we all drink tea. [after we see the sex counters of course, and say our introductions]



so, long story short: rodger rapes erin

erin rapes mike cause she really likes him. rodger helps.



FYI Toxic Waste (22:18:44): I looked like shit that day
Checkered Lilacs (22:18:50): lol you looked fine o.o
Checkered Lilacs (22:19:13): http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v669/DarkDasha/IMG_0467.jpg
FYI Toxic Waste (22:20:44): OMG I look fat
Checkered Lilacs (22:20:49): lol

then, rodger told us stories. this lasted.. until about 4 am? something like that...




so then. we go in the kitchen cause im hungry, and i make food. and they try to steal my food zomg ;-;
also, frankie molested steve. a lot



sunday:
so i wake up. and im all "crap. midterms tommorow."
so naturally, instead of studying, i desperately look for someone to hang out with. katy = perfect victim.
we went to wallmart. and got depressed over greeting cards ._. "to my loving husband... you mean the world to me.."etc etc.
then we went and rented fight club, cause she has never seen it before o_o; ahh it was great. also, i ate a taco hot pocket. zomg >.>;
oh and i got home pretty late n went to bed. sorry kait for not talking to you much =/

monday:
so. midterms. math. failure. yay.
10 am. im home =D and alex is online. so im all "alex... im bored."
so me him n john go to double t.
we're all poor. so me n alex order the cheapest thing on the menu o_o malted waffle 4.55
alex has 4 bucks. i have 6 bucks and change. i give alex my change. we give our money to john, who was gonna pay for us all. he orders an english muffin and fresh strawberries. big mistake. yes.
we leave a 4.20 tip. we do not have enoguh money to pay for our meal.


we owe double t another 10.60... johns debit card is completely broke, and so are we.

i get on the phone and call as many people as i possibly can who have a ride and/or money. nobody can help us out. dissapointment.

they write down our information and give us till 3 to pay back. we go bum money off john's mom.



then. alex has the great idea [it was brilliant, i fucking swear] to go pawn stuff. we're broke, we're bored, we have crap we do not need.


i hate pawn shops =/ they dont take anything.
we offer:
1 computer monitor
1 study guide to c++ 6
some processors
a pocket watch [a mighty fine one at that!!!]
2 DVDs
6 or so computer games
1 wrist watch [this was brand new, like.. really fancy]

they only offer to take the wrist watch, a dvd, and a video game. total of 8 bucks. the fuck..... o_O
we were pretty desperate. not that desperate though, i think.
alex "traded" his c++ book for a lighter worth 50cents. and that was pity. definetly.


so. we go to alexs house, discouraged. he cooks for us. him and john go out to "buy green tea"
yeah.
then we eat, and.. dani calls me and apparently i made plans with her for today.

was not aware of that o_o;
so she comes picks me up cause.. alex is in no condition to drive. zz

and we go for chinese. over chinese, we talk. both get really depressed xx;;;;; lose appetite. i felt pretty sick, man =/
so we go to her house to watch old sailor moon taped off tv from like 5-6 years ago? her brother joins us xD
a full hour of "well.. he was pretty hot..." "oh yeah, if he was 5 years younger, or i was 11, id so do him."

o_o yeah.
on our way home we stopped for gas, and i saw andrew at wawas. he bought me gum!!! cause i was still really really broke zz; thank you andrew <3 ill pay you back, i swear. if i ever get cash zz;



and yeah. thats it. i spent about an hour.. typing this up? in between like walking around and all.. now = sleep. midterms all this week xept friday.
that means i get out at 10 am every day. if you wanna do something, CALL ME!!! im bored zz often.


<3

2:41pm:

You scored as Communism. </td> Communism 100% Fascism 92% Socialist 67% Nazi 67% Republican 50% Anarchism 25% Democrat 25% Green 0% What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com

wow that was soo surprizing o_O