Well it's still in a decision process. But my sister and I are thinking of moving back to Houston, where we grew up. I am weary because so many bad things have happened in that house. But there were many good memories too. I've been fretting to go back because time and time again God always stopped me from moving back there. Now, it's like there's a door open to go back. Does He want me to go back?
I also told my sister that we need to go back to the house to bring closer for us. She agreed. She didn't want to admit that, but just thinking about it makes us cringe. I told her that in my life time, that I wanted to go back to the hosue to face those haunting demons of our past and to just have peace in our lives. Saying that house no longer holds any power over us. I hope that whoever lives there would let us in. But this is a thought we're thinking about. (Oh and it may only be me that is meant to go back to the house, not my sister if that's what God wants.) I can probably ask my best friend from my childhood to go with me. She remembers very well what my parents were like then.
The good thing about moving back there is rent is cheap, we know the city, they have my sister's job, they have the best AIDS clinic in the country and so on. We won't be living in the Alief district because it's gone bad. But there are lots of other nice places, not to mention, I'm driving! =) LOL And the best part is that I know how to get there from Jacksonville. Also, I'll be attending University of Houston! I like that college very much. Since I was a long time residence, I may get instate cost. But I'll have to check on that. TExas has one of the best education systems as well.
We shall know by end of August if this is what we want to do. Sometimes I wonder if it's good to go back and face the demons of your past, only to make you grow? It's like a sense of empowerment that you get when you face things you are afriad of.
- Mood:
anxious
Now that my prayers were answered and God released me from the class, I'm left open for other opportunities. I don't know what they are though. I no longer have to travel to two different churches now. And so that saves me some gas. At the same time, God always provided a way for me to get there no matter what. God has provided me much in the last six years.
There were only four of us there today. So we just chatted and realized that God has placed each of us in a ministry apart from East Point! I'm working with the music ministry at my friend's church. My Sunday school teacher/friend is now working at Hubbard House and on Discipleship training on Thursdays at church and has another ministry on the side. One woman is doing upward soccer and wants to join her husband with his class and the fourth one is doing ministry as far as alcoholism goes. It's just amazing how God worked it to where we're all doing some sort of ministry. So though it was sad, we knew there was going to be an end and God said we no longer needed to have this class.
What now? I'm not sure as far as church wise go. It looks like I'm going to be at Orange Park for a while, at least until I figure out where I'm going to move to. I can take a look back at what God has done for me and He ALWAYS answered a prayer for me.
God is so good. Indeed.
My co-worker was upset becuase I left him at the register. I wasn't trying to. All I wanted was to use the bathroom! I had everything done by 9pm and was ready to help him when all the trouble started. I couldn't very well ignore the passed out woman either because then I'd be liable. So what should I have done differently? I think I'm going to talk with my boss on this and get his opinion. Becuase I didn't want a co-worker to say I wasn't helping when a situation comes up like this.
Sigh...
2. Don't pump gas during a lightening storm. This is just plain common sense.
3. Don't lit up a cigarett during a rain storm or any time pumping gas. You'll end up blowing you and everyone else up.
4. Always be aware of no cell phones and no smoking rules and obey them. They aren't to torment you, but to keep you safe.
As you can see, I've dealt with all of these people yesterday.
- Mood:
amused
I just did my first selling off ebay this week! I've been inspired by Abigail to sell my own books that I have around the house. Since I"m in the process of moving in the next year, I figured it would be the best way to get rid of some stuff.
Right now I have out a book called "Born in Death" by Nora Roberts writing as J.D. Robb. Hardback cover starting at $6.00 with a $3.50 shipping and handling fee. (IT's a $25 book so that's why I started it at $6. That's still almost nothing.) That was the hard thing to do, how much to charge for shipping. It's good they have a shipping calculator! And I put in the cost of packaging included. That way it's a flat rate and I'm not really getting any money from the shipping. That's just enough to cover for stramps and the package.
You can check it out here:
Just before I came home tonight, the kitty learned how to turn the lock on the door that goes outside. My sister had to lock it back up and I just put the chain on just in case she tries to make her get away. She must be really bored during the day... LOL
Other things...
Well my sister and I are sort of ok. We're not fighting anymore, but nothing is really resolved. Please pray for us as we make a decision to move either our seperate ways or live in a two bedroom place. We are going to move to the same city, but maybe be neighbors if we can.
I have several projects lined up and I hope to complete most of them tomorrow on my day off. I haven't been feeling well and haven't eaten anything in two days. I think my stomach went into food shock when I ate so yummy fresh foods at Abigail's that my system just couldn't take my food. =)
Well, got to go now. God bless!
- Mood:
sick
Just please be praying for us. sigh...
1. It was very green and ugly outside. The glass was flapping a back and forth a bit. Some of the people were the good smart ones and went into the storm shelter when the airport personnel told us to. But people like me stayed upstairs to watch the storm. LOL. I was just too excited to see a tornado. =) We don't have storm shelters here in Florida!
If you look almost in the middle of the picture and on top of the building here, you'll see a piece of roofing that was torn up by the storm. All those little people down there are news people.
It's time for bed and it's also thundering here in Fl as I speak. We're having lots of rain and lightening this week. I am surprised that it's lightening at one in the morning. So I'll have to turn off my computer and hopefully get to use it after church tomorrow.
- Mood:
awake
Abigial, you are such a dear friend! Thank you so much for inviting me to see you! Love always.
God has been so gracious this week, but I let my pride get in the way. I was all stressed out becuase I felt it was so unfair for my boss to force me to work on Thursday or I wouldn't meet my forty hours. I did talk to the district manager, which I felt every right to about my problem. And the thing I was worried about most was for my boss not to be upset iwth me if I couldn't do the groceries becuase they were heavy and I never done it before. How little did I know of God's strength in me! Not only did I manager to put everything away, despite it being very heavy, but that it was all done before my boss came in this morning!
Stilll, my head was thinking about me and wondering if my boss would be impressed that I did everything. Then I thought he'll find something to say that isn't good. Well, he came in and said nothing about the groceries. The only thing he said to me was that I shouldn't have gone to my district manager about my "concern." I did apologize, but I felt it was still unfair for him to give me that ultamatum of working on Thursday night, even though it wasn't my fault because he told me not to come in on Monday night.
The lesson wasn't about all of that, but about waiting on the Lord for Him to provide me with His strength. He knows what I can handle and can't handle. I'm afriad of hard work it seems. Maybe that's why I've been putting off my last year of school. It's a lot of work to be done and I'm just so overwhelmed by it all. I'm so afriad of not completing the task, of failure. TOnight prooved that I can do anything with God's strength and His wisdom.
I feel so small right now becuase I let my pride get in the way without even realizing it. I never even asked for humble pie this time, but God just gave it to me anyways. LOL. I just wanted to share my confession, mainy for a peace of mind and to give you an update of my work situation. God is really good to lecture me and discipline me when it's necessary. (Spoken like a true parent He is!)
Right now I'm so exhuasted that I forgot my gas! I bought gas at work and then left without filling up. I had to go all the way back to work when I realized my tank was getting on empty. Of course, my boss and everyone else was laughing at me. I promise! That's never happened to me before. =) I felt like such a dork! ha ha.
Anyway, I haven't finished packing yet and I have two hours before I leave for the airport. We're expecting heavy rain and thunderstorms this afternoon. So please pray that God will make sure I get to where I need to go. And I know He will, on His timing!
May ya'll have a very wonderful week and a happy Independence Day!
Why do I always wait until the last minute to pack? Well this time I've done much better. Usually I pack the very day I leave. Since I am working the night shift, I have to pack tonight. It's still stressing me out though becuase I thought I couldn't find my ticket online, then called Abigail. Thank you Abigail for calming me down! =) But now I have everything in place. My plane ticket is there waiting for me at the airport. Whew! (Sometimes priceline.com doesn't update your trip stuff.)
I still have laundry and packing to do. Then I have handbell rehearsal tonight at 7pm. Then I have to go to work. Tonight shouldn't be too bad. I'm not as stressed as I was becuase it's grocery night. We get the big trucks and I have to lift at least 70 items that are like more then 50 lbs. My co-worker can't do it becuase of his hip. (He's sort of old.) He does everything else though. I'm going to be exhausted by the time I get off work at 6am. So prayers needed for me to be coherent enough to drive myself to the airport. It's about a 45 minute trip for me. There are some slight delays due to the thunderstorms we're having today and tomorrow. So another prayer request is to make sure I get on the right flight. I'm always nervous when I travel by myself. I haven't done it in enough times I think. This is my third tirp I'm taking by myself. =)
I will of course, not be on LJ for the week I'm out since I'll be spending much time with Abigail and her family. But I promise to bring my camera so I can take lots of pictures. =) Which reminds me I need to put that in my suitcase as well. ah! so much to do!
In a way, I'm glad I have handbell practice and work to keep me occupied. I get too antsy with excitement the day before the tript hat I go nuts. I make myself do something in order to keep my mind off the big trip day. =)
God is so good indeed!
http://www.news4jax.com/news/16682640/de
It was a beautiful wedding. She loves roses so naturally, the bride's maids wore a red rose colored outfit. It was gorgeous! I didn't think it would work, but it did. She played all her favorite songs, and of course "The Rose." That was the theme for the wedding. It was perfect. And short! The whole thing, including the reception lasted only an hour and a half. About 50 people showed up, so it was a small wedding. I met some people I haven't seen in a while too! Peggy was their match maker. It was great to see her. Some of us laughed when we saw, what else? But chicken fingers and honey mustard for the main course! Everytime we'd go out to eat it's always been chicken fingers and honey mustard. We would go to Chili's or the American cafe only for her to get chicken fingers. That's just been a long standing thing since I've known here over the last several years. We had other things like fruits and veggies stuff. But she got her dream food, chicken fingers. That was hilarious! She is especially hilarious, so it fit her personality.
Ever know when God is truly attending a wedding? Ever sense His power and His love? I didn't quite feel that this time as I did with Seth and Julie's wedding. and then Pamela and Josh's wedding. Yet they talked about God, they taught God's word on marriage and I know they are Christians. But I just didn't feel that God awesome inspiring feeling as I had hoped. Maybe I know nothing about God's goodness and His presense. But it's what I sensed in the whole building and the wedding itself. Something was lacking. That's all I felt.
Despite all of that, I'm glad I went to see her on her Wedding Day. She was happy and she wanted her friends there. That's what counted for her today. If I had not gone, I think I would have regretted it. I"m sure praying that the Lord will bless them.
All I know is that I haven't seen her in a year and I didn't exactly agree with her marraige to this guy. He seems a nice enoug guy, but I already told her how I felt the relationship should have been handled. And also, her friends don't make it any easier. I made one bad comment along time ago, which I didn't even know I did. I apologized though and since then, they just severed their relationship with me. (The comment I made didn't seem remotely that bad to me. But it was apparently very offensive to her - one of the girls, not the bride to be.)
I'm frustrated because these are Christian women who is supposed to be living Godly lives. I've been taught that scripture is black and white. Sin is sin, regardless of what form it is in. So why do people shun others who try to tell them the truth? Why do people cast judgement when people do wrong and even ask for forgiveness?
The only reason why I think I should go to this wedding because I promised her I'd be there for her, regardless of what I think. At least, just be there and support her for HER. But other then that, I think our friendship will quickly come to an end. I don't know where I stand with her as far as our friendship is concerned, and I don't know how to close this chapter of my old life. Very hard and so much to think about.
- Mood:
angry
I don't know what I'm going to do with the money if I get any, that is. I may use it for gas because I pick him up from work or whatever else the Lord may see fit. I just know that I won't spend it for myself. The main goal is for him to realize just how much he swears, and hopefully, won't think of swearing in front of me. =)
- Mood: amused
Oh yes, I think my handbell choir finally has a name. We haven't made it official yet. But it's Jubilate. What do you think of that? The Jubilate Bell Choir. It does have a nice ring to it! (We didn't like the use the word "Ringers" becuase it sounds so kiddish to me and i figured that Bell choir sounds more appropriate. A lady in our class came up with this name. Now I want to do a logo for our class, but have no ideas. So I haven't said anything about it yet. =)
God Bless!
But no, I"m just really really tired. Our grocery truck didn't come until 4:30am and that left us with very little time to put things away. First shift ended up putting the rest a way. Still, I'm tired becuase of lack of sleep in going to Tallahassee, and just trying to learn to work overnight. Now that we have O over, we have to get up earlier so we can spend time with him. He brought his frist J over and my sister and them are going swimming after it stops pouring. Then his mom is coming over for dinner. It'll be like this for a little over a week. So please pray that I can find things good for teenagers and that it don't cost alot of money.
Some more insides about me. I'm a chip and cheese dip addict. I'd always put it on my tab at work and my co-workers love to tease me about it. My co-worker, D, actually showed a customer my tab this morning! How rude. The customer ended up calling me "a dip." LOL
About an hour later the cops arrived. We get some cops in around 6am before they gofor roll call at 6:30am. They are hilariously funny and just love to pick on me! And they also love to pick on my assist manager as well. =) Anyway, I was being rided on because I keep going back and forth from the counter. (Like I have to because it's my job so they just love to give me a hard time about it.) So after I got off work I bought some chips and that's when the chiding started. My assist manger teased me by telling them my own tab and much cheese dip I buy. (And this is after I've been on my cleansing diet for the last three weeks. I still haven't gotten over the chip thing. Although I've been doing very well despite that because I don't have a single one on my tab for the last two weeks.) Anyway, Office R. said aloud that I don't need cheese dip because I'm already a dip. Ok, this is the second person who called me a dip! Am I really that bad? LOL All the officers and co-workers busted up laughing, and me the hardest. (And no, I didn't tell them that someone else already called me that just an hour before. I kept that to my self.)
- Mood:
exhausted
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