Talyesin's Tales

Previously on Squirrelman - Sins of the Past:

On numerous occasions, Doc Sterling asked Squirrelman about Physique's health, but would not divulge the cause of his concern.

Wayne Masters, the Midnight Avenger, invited the Crimefighters' League to headquarters themselves in his ancestral home, stately Masters Mansion.

Senator Mazzuchelli of New Jersey called for a repeal of the Claremont Act, calling it a fantastic failure.

During an alien invasion, Squirrelman called in all the League to combat the menace. Neither Physique, the Mole nor Cricket reported in. While Physique eventually showed up in the nick of time, the Mole and Cricket remained missing throughout the battle.

Once the fight against the alien invasion - and the unexpected attack from three groups of terrorists - several crimefighters contacted Squirrelman, with the hopes to join the League.

Starring!

Matt Mattheson ......... as Squirrelman
Kimmy Sinclair ................ as Ragdoll
Rick Duncan ........................... as Ace
Lisa Dumont ................... as Physique
Anna Kimble ................. as Darklight
Stephanie Cooke ............. as Blue Jay
Jay Allen ........................ as Red Bolt
Mike Washington ............. as Dragon
Trevor Andrews ............... as Phenom
Jessica Wagner .............. as Rapunzel
Katie McCormick ............ as Superia
Hank Scott .................. as Powerband
Wayne Masters ... as Midnight Avenger
Jill Suzuki ........................... as Naiad
Steven Rand ............... as Showdown
Hannah Cohen ................... as Psifire
Kyle Drake ........... as Troubleshooter
Jackson Archer ............ as Moonbow
Alistair Crombie ............. as the Mole
Cricket ............................... as herself
Max Mattheson ....... as Captain Hero
Missy Mattheson ........ as Squirrelgrrl
Elizabeth Walsingham .... as Diamond
Gareth King ................ as Lightbringer
Rob Ross ....................... as Ultraman
Rosie Ross ................as Ultrawoman
Ryan Ross .......................as Ultraboy
Rory Ross ....................... as Ultragirl
Melody Johnson .............. as Decibelle
Tony Juarez .................. as Redeemer
Samantha Timmons ... as Speed Queen
Kathryn Hardy.......... as Nightwoman

with

Reed Sterling ....................... as Doc
Julia Sterling ................... as herself



The next few days are kind of crazy.

Kimmy and I and the kids move out of the Spire because I was starting to feel like we were imposing, despite Reed and Julia's insistence that we weren't. So we head out to Masters Mansion, and settle in with the rest of the team.

Which had suddenly expanded, quite unexpectedly. Most of the folks who were suddenly asking to join had already told us no, back when we were first recruiting. God, has it really only been three weeks? Anyway. Both Decibelle and Nightwoman are already on Team Title but so, apparently, are Blue Jay, Superia and Ultraman. Seems there's no conflict of interest when you haven't been given an actual title yet, the way Survivor is the Duke and Majestic is the King, so that's not an issue. I thought Redeemer would be older but it turns out he's the son of the original Redeemer, who was one of the Defenders of Justice. And the Ultras, despite being an official team on their own, are more a family than a team. And Kimmy convinces me to offer membership to our kids. What with Ultraboy, Ultragirl, Squirrelgrrl and Cricket, we've kind of got a Junior League going.

There's an interesting discussion Ace and I have about whether or not to add the new members, actually.

"We got together, the five of us, you me Ragdoll Physique and Darklight, at first, and started recruiting, right?" he says.

"Yeah?"

"And when we got trapped in the Kane by our sorceress-from-the-future, the core of the team was solidified. Anna's spell had all our souls touching."

"Just cause our souls have touched doesn't mean we'll be swapping spit in the shower," I joke.

"Thank God for that. No, I mean, it really unified us as a team."

"Okay."

"And then the Implacable Foes showed up, with a whole bunch of extras, and we figured that it meant we had to recruit some more members. Once again, brought together by the S.F.t.F."

"Right."

"So if the S.F.t.F doesn't consider these new recruits as part of the League, aren't we running a risk here?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, what if the reason she doesn't consider them part of the League is because by the time we catch up to her, chronologically speaking, they're all dead?"

"I hadn't thought of that."

"Not just a pretty face here, son."

"No, according to the ladies, you're a pretty ass too."

"Har har. But seriously."

"Yeah. Except for one thing - the S.F.t.F didn't bring Midnight Avenger, Showdown, Psifire or any of the others that night on board, we did. She brought the Implacable Foes together. And to be perfectly honest, I'm getting tired of dancing to her tune. So I'm proposing we make the new recruits members."

"Good enough for me. Just wanted to make sure you had some things in mind."

"I've always got some things in mind. You're not the only one who's not just a pretty face."

We hold a vote that afternoon, adding the recruits to the team. Only non-votes are the Mole and Cricket, who are still missing, despite Physique, Phenom, Red Bolt, Powerband and Midnight Avenger looking all night all over Downtown for them.

Cricket shows up a day later, beat up all to hell. Her nanobead was taken, too, and there's still no sign of the Mole. She can't tell us by who - didn't see them, too fast, disguised - but they attacked while she was patrolling Downtown, so we spend the rest of that day, the whole team of us, thirty strong, combing Downtown, making ourselves a very visible presence, and pretty much getting in the face of every ganger and criminal we can find. We send a very definite message - mess with one of us, mess with all of us. Physique, Phenom, and Dragon are all pretty worked up about Cricket getting roughed up, and a couple of times I've got to get Superia to pull one of them off a scumbag who mouths off about Cricket. Not that I don't agree with the sentiment, mind you - Cricket's like a little sister to us, weird. Foul mouth, bad attitude, but you just gotta like her.

And nobody messes with one of my team.

But I'm the leader so I'm not allowed the luxury of pounding the gangers into paste like I want to. It's starting to look like Alister got himself caught, and using the locator in his nanobead turns up nothing, no signal at all. Reed tells me the only way that could happen is if the nanobead was somehow destroyed, so we've got no way of tracking the Mole at all. It's not looking good. Just to be on the safe side, I have Reed alter the frequency on our nanobeads.

Getting nanobeads to all the new members isn't a problem, but registering their names officially in the Protected Registry is. They're all listed already, but adding them to the Crimefighters' League isn't possible, because the Protected Registry is suspended pending legislation. Apparently Senator Mazzuchelli's proposed Repeal of the Claremont Act is a very serious matter in D.C.

Despite the bureaucratic red tape, I'm glad to have them on the team. The Ultras are a solid addition to the team, even though their powers are always changing. Decibelle is good on offense and defence, and she's a sweetheart too. Cute accent, Southern, but I couldn't tell you where, Texas maybe. Redeemer is quiet and has some anger management to work out, but the firepower he carries will be very welcome in a fight against any real powerhouses we run up against. Nightwoman is a bit of a cold fish, but she's got a whole slew of useful powers that we'll be able to use in a variety of situations. Turns out Diamond and Lightbringer are a married couple. How they get around the fact that he's a being of pure energy and she's, you know, a human is the cause of some late night rumour-mongering speculation, but none of our business, really. Diamond-shaped force fields and a sword of pure energy will be good in a fight.

Which is pretty much what our invasion of Downtown winds up being. At first the gangers fight back - it's their turf, after all. We're spread out and split up, looking for clues and information about who jumped Cricket and why, and where the Mole might be, and if maybe the two are connected - as if they couldn't be. After a few brawls, though, word gets out we're not fooling around, and the gangs all go to ground.

Kimmy brings up her mistrust of Alister once. I bite her head off about it and feel like shit for the rest of the day. We don't talk about it and go to bed mad. Great.

By Friday, I'm asking Wayne if he knows any good lawyers, because the Crimefighters' League is being called to answer for the Xerxian invasion. Reed assures me the charges have no basis in fact and no grounds under the law, but I still think having a lawyer might be a good idea. Wayne gets on it.

Wayne is turning out to be a godsend. He knows people, he's got money, and he's generous to a fault. Adding a dozen new houseguests didn't faze him for a second. Handsome, rich, nice guy, I'm beginning to wonder if he's not a Doppelite or a Simulator or secretly a crazed arch-villain, but, no, despite his psychological block about the use of his powers, he's just basically a nice guy. At one point Stephanie asks him why he doesn't have a Teen Spirit sidekick like his dad and grandad did before him, and he gets a little bitter and defensive about the subject, but otherwise he's a good man to have on our side.

I'm glad to have him. Delegating work has never come easy to me, except in a fight, where I'm apparently a genius of metahuman resource management. I just see different ways of approaching a meta fight, is all. It's not written in stone that the big tough good guys always have to go after the big tough bad guys and slug it out. Traditional, sure, but inefficient. So after we scour Downtown on Thursday to very little avail, making sure to stay out of the UnSeelie Seeming because even with thirty out-for-blood crimefighters I'm not sure going back there so soon is such a good idea, I spend most of Friday talking to lawyers and delegating teams of Leaguers, mixing the new recruits in with the older members - if three weeks on a team makes you part of the old guard, we definitely need some vacation time - to investigate and take care of crimes and whatever else pops up, like the Choreographer interrupting an Actionauts game. Goodbye, World Series. That one at least I'm thrilled to delegate. When I heard about it the chorus of I've Got The Whole World By The Nuts got stuck in my head for an hour, and my claws kept hot-squeezing out reflexively.

It's more exhausting than dealing with the Krieg, the Technocracy and WOLFEN during an alien invasion, and I collapse into bed early, which is to say, around midnight.

Middle of the night, I get woken up by a hand on my mouth. It's Jay, in his civvies. Or at least, somebody's civvies, because he doesn't usually wear expensive suits. He motions for me to be quiet and meet him in the hall, then he's gone in a blur.

I get out of bed, careful not to wake Kimmy, and follow him out.

"What's wrong?" I whisper to him in the hall.

"Get dressed, civvies," he tells me. "There's trouble, and we're going to want to keep it quiet."

"Trouble? With who?"

He just shakes his head and jerks his head toward the entrance hall. He's there by the time I look down the stairs. I sneak back into my room, pull on my clothes, then jump over the bannister to where Jay is waiting.

"What's the problem? Why quiet?"

"It's better if we talk about this on the way."

"On the way where, Jay?"

He looks like he really doesn't want to talk about this, but he says, "You know Madam Masque's?"

"The meta brothel?"

"Technically it's not a brothel, it's a specialized host-and-hostess establishment."

"Okay Captain Semantics, are we talking about the same place?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

He turns around and says, "Piggyback time. There's... there's a Leaguer in trouble."

"What? Jay, what the fuck-"

"Keep your voice down for chrissakes."

I've hardly ever heard Jay swear, so I climb onto his back and we're out the door and blurring along the streets. The windburn is something awful, but Jay doesn't seem to mind.

When we stop, I very gratefully get down. It's a very nice Colonial-style house in a ritzier part of Action City.

"Why do you know where Madam Masque's is, Jay?" I ask as we walk up to the brothel.

"I'm doing a piece on metas in society," he says. "How we're everywhere. Since I got outted by Maskwatchers my editors thought it would be a good idea to get the meta angle on my human interest stories."

"So you went, what, undercover?"

"So to speak."

He rings the doorbell and we wait for a bit.

"What's your wife think about this story?" I ask him.

"Are you kidding? It was her idea."

The door opens and a dapper little guy in a tux is standing there. My twitch starts to twitch like crazy when he looks at me. My muscles start tensing up, ready to move any which way.

"May I help you, gentlemen?" he asks.

"Just here for the lime cordial," Jay answers. The little guy smiles a tight little smile and steps out of the way. My twitch stops twitching.

"Scary little guy," I mutter to Jay.

"Yeah."

We head into a big room filled with couches. There's all kinds of men and women here, tall and short, big and small, in all the various stages toward outright nudity. Soft sexy music is playing, low lighting. Some people in masks, but none of them are patrons. Couple St. Daemonicans. Everyone's drinking. Laughing, low conversations, every once in a while a couple or a trio goes through a door at the back of the room.

"Ah, Colin, you're back!" says a drop-dead gorgeous brunette in a slinky red dress and a tiny diamond-studded mask. She's coming over to us and gives Jay a big hug.

"Ma'am," he answers. "This is Manny, the friend I told you about."

"Ooo and a handsome devil, too. She'll be thrilled."

"Sure hope so," I stall, giving Jay a 'what the fuck?' look when Madam Masque isn't looking. He just shakes his head, and doesn't meet my eyes again.

"Are you sure Manny can handle her, Colin?" Madam Masque asks.

"He's rated Class Three, Ma'am," Jay says.

"I'm not sure that'll be enough, but maybe she'll go easy on him."

"Sure hope so," I say again.

"Well, she's just finishing up, so why don't you luscious specimens of manhood have a drink and I'll send someone to bring you up," our hostess offers, waving her hand magnanimously at the wall-length bar. The bartender's half-man and half-woman, split down the middle.

We go to the bar, Jay orders us Scotches. When the he-she bartender's gone, I say, "What the fuck, Jay?"

"I saw- someone - the last time I was here. She didn't see me, so I made some discreet inquiries and, yeah, she's one of our team. And she's been working here the last three months."

"Who is it?"

"Manny, listen-"

"No, you listen, 'Colin'-"

"Manny?" a purple-skinned mostly naked woman says to me. "She's ready for you now."

I shoot Jay a look that says 'we'll talk about this later' and I follow her through the doors at the back of the room and down a hallway. There's lot of noises coming from behind the doors that line the corridor, noises you'd expect in a brothel. Then my guide opens a door and ushers me in. I step into the room.

She's tall. Got her back to me. Muscular. Distractingly stacked, I can tell even from behind her.

Dressed like Maiden America.

"Hope you like it the American Way, stud," she says, turning around. "Let's get this party st-"

It's Lisa.

"Oh, fuck me," she says, going pale, stark against the slutty makeup she's wearing.

"No, I don't think I will," I answer, feeling kind of numb all over.

"Matt, listen-"

"Lisa, what the fuck?!"

"Oh Christ," she says, sitting on the edge of the bed, putting her face in her hands.

"Lisa what the hell are you doing here?"

"What does it look like, Matt?"she says, crying.

"No, I mean... Lisa..."

"Matt, just get out."

"Not until you tell me what's going on here."

"Matt, I-"

"Lisa... okay, look. You're a teammate and a friend. We all know you're flirty and occasionally a tease, but this-"

" Is that what Rick told you? I'm a tease?"

"What? No!"

"I'm not a tease Matt. I just - sometimes I can't-"

"Lisa, tell me what's going on here. I want to help."

She laughs, a bitter, tearful laugh.

"You can't help. I'd kill you."

"What? Why?"

"Matt, I can't control myself!"

"What, you're a... sex addict?"

"God, I wish it was that simple."

"Then what?"

"Ever since... Ever since I came out of my suspended animation, my metabolism has been going crazy. I've had... these urges. Uncontrollable urges. You think I like eating like a horse? I used to be normal. And my sex drive... I can't control myself. I have to
have it on a regular basis or I get... crazy is putting it mildly."

"This is what Doc is concerned about?"

"Oh God, he's talked to you about this?"

"No, he just has asked me a few times about how you were, is all."

"Jesus Christ."

"Have you talked to him about... your libido?"

"Sure, and he gave me something, supposed to help control it, but I developed a resistance or something because it stopped working."

"Did you tell him?"

"Tell him what, Matt? That I'm turning into a huge slut?"

"Okay, first of all, you're not a slut. You have- you have a problem is all. Secondly... Lisa, you should have come to me."

"Matt-"

"Lisa, I'm more than the leader of the team, which by the way is enough justification to expect a head's-up when someone on the team is sick. I'm your friend."

"Matt, come on. What was I supposed to say?"

"How about, Matt, I've got a problem, and it's interferring with my performance on the team."

"It hasn't interferred with-"

I look at the protonium handcuffs chained to the wall.

"Those aren't the reason you were 'tied up with some business' when the Xerxians invaded?"

"Oh fuck... Matt, I'm sorry. I just-"

"I know. It's okay. We're going to get you some help. Get out of that outfit and into your street clothes, we're leaving." I hesitate, but I have to ask. "Do you... How much money have you paid Madam Masque?"

"Paid her? Are you kidding? I volunteer here. I may be a slut, but I'm not a whore."

"Lisa, you're not a slut. Say it."

She hesitates for a second, then reluctantly says, "I'm not a slut."

"Got it?"

"You're pretty sexy when you're forceful."

"That's what Kimmy keeps telling me," I say, turning around so she can get dressed.

"Oh God, Rags. Matt, you won't-"

"Your secret stays between you, me, Jay and Reed."

"Jay? He knows?"

"Only that you've been coming here for the past few months. He's the one tipped me off."

"Jesus Christ."

"You dressed yet?"

"Yes."

I turn around. Lisa's dressed in a tshirt and jeans. She's even managed to wipe the slut makeup off.

"You know... I'm sure there's plenty of guys who would give their arm to be your guy."

"How am I going to meet guys, Matt? They've got to be strong and tough to put up with my... requirements."

"No, I mean... You said you used to pick up guys all the time, back in the day, right?"

"Yeah. Only, back then... it was different. I was different. My powers, I mean. I could turn them... well, not off, so much, but down. Control them a little better, so that during sex with a normal guy I wouldn't castrate him. But everything's changed since I came out of suspended animation. My powers are on full time, full strength. Doc thinks it's got something to do with my metabolism going haywire. A side-effect, he called it. And the other thing is, I used to be able to control my libido. I used to choose the guys I'd bring back to my place. Now I'll jump anything with a cock, it's disgusting. I used to eat like a normal
person, too. But everything's gone to shit since I woke up."

We step through the doors and Jay is chatting up Madam Masque. They see us and she comes over, Jay not far behind.

"I'm done for the night, Madam," Lisa says.

"Never thought I'd see the day when Lisa Libido called it an early night," she answers.

"What can I say, Madam?" Lisa says, taking my arm. "He wore me out."

Masque gives me the once over and says, "Maybe I should give you a job, darling."

"I've already got two," I tell her. "You good, Colin?"

"Yeah Manny, I'm good," Jay answers. "Everything cool?"

"Cool as can be," I say. "Me and Lisa Libido here are going to see a friend of mine."

"Okay. See you later."

"Yeah."

"'Colin'?" Lisa says to Jay. "You brought 'Manny' to see me?"

"Yeah, Ms. Libido, hope that's okay."

"Yeah, it is. Thanks."

Jay visibly relaxes. "Sure," he says.

Lisa and I hail a cab and head for the Sterling Spire, not talking much the whole ride. I pay the cabbie and we head inside the Spire.

"What about Trevor?" I ask out of the blue while we wait for the elevator platform.

"Well, aside from the fact that he's basically the son of an ex-boyfriend of mine, he and Glory Gal are currently doing the horizontal mambo."

"Glory Gal? Molly? Really?"

"No, I'm deliberately misleading you."

"I had no idea."

"Yeah, but look how long it took you to clue in on Anna and Rick."

"Okay, point." I think about it for a couple of minutes.

"Look, Matt, I understand what you're trying to do, but I don't need a boyfriend. I need sex. Four, five times a day. I need huge disgusting meals six to eight times a day. I'm horny and hungry all the time."

"Sounds like puberty," I chuckle.

She laughs."Oh God, no! I better not get zits, too."

"Maybe that's it," I say as we get onto the elevator. "Maybe this isn't a side effect of the coma, after all."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Reed put you in suspended animation while he looked for a cure for your problem, right?"

"Yeah?"

"So what if this accelerated metabolism isn't a side effect of the suspended animation, but was somehow related to the original illness?"

"What's the difference? Fucked up is still fucked up."

"No, but it would mean that Reed's treating the wrong problem," I say as the doors open to Doc's lab.

"I'm what?" Doc asks. "I heard my name."

"Doc, Lisa's problem has gotten a lot worse."

"What? Lisa, why didn't you come to me sooner?" Doc asks, waving us over to a scanbed.

"And say what, Doc? The pills you gave me didn't work, I developed a resistance to them. Whatever you're going to give me now, I'll just become resistant to that, too. Its no use. I'm just going to have to get used to being a pig and a sl- nympho."

I give Lisa a raised eyebrow look and say, "Doc, Lisa told me what her symptoms were. It sounded to me like some kind of super-puberty. It got me thinking- what if the problem wasn't related to a side effect of the suspended animation, but to her original illness?"

"Interesting hypothesis, Matt. I'll admit that at first I discounted the idea simply because it had no similarity to her illness... puberty, you said?"

"What was your illness, Lisa?" I ask her.

"My powers were going haywire. I couldn't tune them down any more, sometimes they'd be off completely - or else they'd get super-boosted."

"Super-what?"

"Well, I'd suddenly find myself ten times stronger than I usually was, or able to take a much worse beating without any problems."

"No, I mean, repeat what you just said."

"I said sometimes they'd be super-boosted."

"Like she was on Boost?" I say to Doc.

"What are you saying?" Doc asks.

"Doc, can you check to see if there's any traces of Boost in her system?"

"Matt, I'm not taking Boost."

"I don't think you are."

Doc takes a little doohickey out from a cabinet and starts scanning Lisa with it.

"Good call, Matt," Doc says, impressed. "I never would have run a tox screen of this sensitivity - she's Boosted."

"I don't understand," Lisa says. "How can Boost wind up in my system?"

"Boost is metahuman adrenaline in its refined form," Doc explains. "I never noticed it in your bloodstream before because heighten levels of adrenaline have always been a part of your natural metabiological systems."

"But how did it get in me?"

"Lisa, you're producing it. Your adrenal glands are naturally producing Boost."

"Yeah, but how?"

"When did you first get sick?"

"1986."

"What happened to you back then?"

"Same shit as always happened to me back then - kicking ass and collaring perps."

"Nothing unusual? Think hard."

"Just the timejump I did with Trev," she says after a few minutes thought.

"To 1991, where you fought Harvest."

"Yeah."

"How soon after that did your symptoms present themselves?"

"Couple months, I guess."

"Doc, what if she somehow... I dunno, caught something from Harvest or from her timejump that screwed up her biology? What else was happening in 1991?"

"The metavolution epidemic was at its peak... Holy socks."

"What?"

"Lisa, I'm sorry. I've been going at this from the wrong angle."

"Doc, what is it? What's wrong with me?"

"I think... Let me check something."

Doc pulls out another, bigger scanner and attaches it to the scanbed, then runs it over Lisa's body.

"Why didn't I think of this before..." he says to himself.

"What is it, Doc?"

"Excellent diagnosis, doctor," he says to me. "You're right. It is the metavolution virus."

"What?!" Lisa yells.

"Doc, shouldn't she be in quarantine or something?"

"No need. She's metabolizing it. That's why she's constantly producing Boost through her meta-adrenal glands - she's fighting the virus."

"Okay, whoa. Slow down. You're saying I caught MV when I timejumped to Denver?"

"Doc... the Harvest clone was under-"

"A Boost lab, I know."

"And Harvest was a metahumanic vampire, sucking the meta-energies out of metas."

"Yes, I thought of that, too."

"So what does it mean?" Lisa asks.

"That Harvest, Boost, and the metavolution virus are all linked."

"But how?" I ask.

"Not how. Why. How is simple enough - Harvest must have been a carrier of the virus. By metavolving its prey, Harvest was fattening the victims for the slaughter."

"How does Boost tie in? I mean, its been around as a drug since before the MV epidemic."

"When did it first hit the streets?" Lisa asks.

"1989 was the first documented case."

"So, after I got sick."

"Correct."

"But before the MV scare."

"Yeah..." I say, thinking. "So Lisa was producing Boost naturally to counteract her MV, before it hit the streets."

"Which implies someone found out about Lisa's illness, determined the cause, and found a way of replicating her elevated meta-adrenal production."

"Who could do that, Doc?" Lisa asks.

"Only one person I know," Doc says, angry.

"Konstantinopoulos? Doc-"

"Who else?"

"Okay, this is all great and all, but can we figure out a way to make me normal again? I mean, the way I was before the timejump? And then we sort out whose ass to kick?"

"I believe there is a solution, but... I have to warn you, there is a risk."

"What is it?"

"You'll have to take a concentrated dose of Boost."

"You said I'm already producing Boost."

"A concentrated dose should burn the metavolution virus out of your system, completely."

"Doc, I thought you said she had metabolized it already."

"She had... let me explain. The metavolution virus acts upon a victim's metahumanic mutations, evolving them beyond belief. Someone merely enhanced becomes powered, someone powered becomes metahumanized, a true metahuman becomes... well, no one's quite sure, because they have a tendency of leaving this plane of reality. Anyhow, Lisa's powers protect her from illness. The MV tries to evolve those powers, they evolve to protect her from the MV, round and round in a circle of evolution and counter-evolution. The constant drain on Lisa's immune system forced her body to adapt its adrenal system to
meet those demands, to the point where she began to produce naturally-occurring Boost. A concentrated dose of external Boost should give her body the extra... oomph it needs to finally burn out the MV."

"Oomph? Is that a scientific term?" I ask.

"Yes."

"So, give it to me, already," Lisa says.

"There's a risk, Lisa. Boost can have... chaotic effects on a metahuman system."

"Like what?"

"It could well, Boost, your powers for a short while. It could burnyour powers out, completely. Or it could kill you."

I look at him and say, "Tell her the rest, Doc."

"What rest?"

"It can also..." He hesitates.

"It can mutate you," I answer. She deserves the straight truth. "Into... something."

"Some thing. Not human, you mean."

"Metahuman... but not necessarily humanoid, and not necessarily viable," Doc explains.

"So I could not only die, but I could die in horrible agony, mutated into some hideous thing."

"Yes."

Lisa takes a deep breath. She's scared, and I can understand why. I take her hand. When she smiles up at me, tears pour down her cheeks.

"Didn't get in this game because it was safe," she says. "Okay Doc. Let's do this."

"I'll be right back."

Doc heads over to the other side of the lab.

"Matt... if I wind up..." she can't quite bring herself to say 'hideously mutated,' but its clear what she's getting at- "... but not dead. You'll... figure out a way to... to... put me out of my misery?"

"Lisa. That's not going to happen."

"Matt... I can live powered, I can live non-powered. As much as I love the life, the powers are secondary to me."

"Lisa, you're not going to die."

"No, but I may become a... a thing. And I can't live like that."

"Lisa-"

"No Matt, listen to me. There's something you probably don't know about me. I'm incredibly vain. I love this body. I love the way men look at me, my face, my boobs, my butt. I love it. I know how shallow that sounds, but I spent twenty two years as a mousy, ugly little paraplegic. Ugly, Matt. Boys wouldn't look at me. Girls laughed at me, called me Potato-Girl because I was so lopsided and malformed. The Hunchback of Notre Dame is what the boys called me. Then wouldn't even bother to wait until I was out of earshot."
Tears are just pouring down her face now. "I can't... I won't live like that again. Where the best I can hope for is pity. I can't, and I won't. And I need you to promise me you won't let it happen, in case I... can't do something about it myself."

"Lisa, I..."

"Matt, please."

Jesus fucking Christ. No one ever said this was in the job description. I take a deep breath, and nod.

"Thank you," she whispers.

Doc comes back and hands Lisa a pill and a little cup of water.

"Take this," he says. "It will help you relax. You'll start to feel sleepy, and then I'll administer the Boost dose."

Lisa wipes away her tears and takes the pill, swallowing it down.

"She won't just metabolize the sleeping pill?"

"It's my strongest sedative, strong enough to knock out an elephant in less than three seconds," Doc says. "I'm hoping it'll have an effect before she can metabolize it. I don't want her asleep, just relaxed. Lisa?"

"Yeah Doc?"

"How do you feel?"

"Kinda... funny."

"All right then. I want you to drink this for me."

"It's not supposed to be injected?" I mutter to Reed.

"Injected through her invulnerable skin?" he answers. "Injected or ingested, the result is the same."

"Feelin... sleepy..." Lisa slurs, then she's out like a light.

"So tell me something, Doc," I say, while he checks her vitals.

"Shoot."

"How is it the World's Smartest Man doesn't diagnose a case of MV when he's got one in suspended animation for seventeen years?"

Reed shoots me the angriest look I've ever seen on his face. Maybe I'm a little over the line here, but come on.

"Alright, Matt. While I answer you, I want you to keep something in mind for me, deal?"

"Okay."

"How is it someone with no medical or metabiological training, who's never made much of a name for himself as a detective, suddenly finds the missing link I've been searching for all these years?"

Um, yeah. How did I figure that out?

"To answer your question, I never recognized Lisa's illness as metavolution virus, because by the time her symptoms presented themselves in such severity that she had to come to me for help, her immune system had already forced the virus to evolve and mutate into a
form virtually unrecognizable from metavolution virus. I suppose we'll have to name it after her - Dumont Disease, perhaps."

"I'm sure that'll be a comfort to her."

"Now. Care to speculate on my observation? Any theories why you came to that conclusion?"

"Just lucky?"

"Hardly."

"I don't know, Doc. I wish I did. It just seemed... obvious."

"Interesting."

That's when Lisa sits bolt upright on the scanbed, and starts screaming.