Talyesin's Tales

Previously on Squirrelman - Sins of the Past:

Investigating beneath the Praxis-built Living Complex, Squirrelman and his allies discovered a secret lab housing Project Solstice, an experiment in cloning Harvest, the metahuman serial killer and mass murderer.

Mayor Elizabeth Ross-Carter, formerly known as the costumed crimefighter Maiden America, invited the Crimefighters' League to City Hall and offered them employment as the official powered officers of the Action City Police Department.

Returning to the Project Solstice lab with reinforcements after a very busy week fighting and capturing the escapees of both Bendis Correctional and the Kane Sanitarium, Squirrelman and Doc Sterling discovered the lab was empty...




Starring!

Matt Mattheson ......... as Squirrelman
Kimmy Sinclair ................ as Ragdoll
Rick Duncan ........................... as Ace
Lisa Dumont ................... as Physique
Anna Kimble ................. as Darklight
Stephanie Cooke ............. as Blue Jay
Jay Allen ........................ as Red Bolt
Mike Washington ............. as Dragon
Trevor Andrews ............... as Phenom
Jessica Wagner .............. as Rapunzel
Katie McCormick ............ as Superia
Hank Scott .................. as Powerband
Wayne Masters ... as Midnight Avenger
Jill Suzuki ........................... as Naiad
Steven Rand ............... as Showdown
Hannah Cohen ................... as Psifire
Kyle Drake ........... as Troubleshooter
Jackson Archer ............ as Moonbow
Alistair Crombie ............. as the Mole
Cricket ............................... as herself

with

The Sterling Squad

Doc Reed Sterling - Julia Sterling - Jerry and Joe Sterling, the SuperTwins - Jeannie 'Zephyr' Sterling - Curt Connor, the Livin' Lightnin' - Carmine 'Forerunner' DaCosta - Molly 'Glory Gal' O'Malley

and

TeenSupreme

Princess - Hex - Go-Getter - Fantasy - Glitter - Resize - Quique - Monkeysee - Monkeydo

Special Crossover Guest Stars

Team Title

Ulysses 'Majestic' Kent - Athena 'Lady Majestic' Kent - Andor - Armory - Atlanta Strongbow - Avatar - Behemoth - Botany - Bronco - Charmer - Comet - Coyote - Crystal - Cypher - Dark Angel - Dark Knight - Decibelle - Dr. Fixit - Eagleman - Elasticman - Energette - Falcon King - Flamebird - Freedom - Gazelle - Gertra - Godiva - Granyte - Guardian - Illumina - Jack Flash - Lightspeed - Lucky Star - Megaman - Minddancer - Molecule - Myriad - Nightlord - Nightwoman - Olympian - Outback - Paragon - Pentacle - Quetzecoatl - Shamrock - Snowflake - Solidarity - Stronghold - Survivor - Thunderbolt - Trinity - True American - Venturion - William Tell



"Squirrelman calling all Crimefighters, stand down."

"What?"

"Why?"

"Whattaya mean, stand down?"

"What happened, boss-man?"

"It's not here."

"It ESCAPED?!"

"It's out?!"

"We gotta find it!"

"It could be anywhere!"

"Shtshtshtshtsht!"

"Everybody, shut up!"

"Everyone get a hold of yourselves," I say. "It hasn't escaped, as far as we know."

"As far as you know?"

"The fuck does that mean?"

"The entire lab is gone. The room is empty," I explain.

"Looks like it was teleported out, all the equipment, everything," Doc tells me. I tell the League.

"This is bad," Physique says.

"No shit," Curt says.

"Pass the word to the others," I say into my nanobead.

"Living Complex, I thought you said nothing had disturbed the contents of this lab?"

"That's correct Doctor."

"And yet, the lab is empty."

"Also correct, Doctor."

"Do you have an explanation for this discrepancy?"

"No Doctor. Unless my memory and security files have been tampered with in some way, which I now perceive they must have been."

I leave Reed to work it out with the Complex and head out into the cave and assorted catwalks that surround the secret lab. The Crimefighters' League, the Sterling Squad and TeamSupreme are all gathering together, talking. I give them the full scoop.

"So now what?" Moonbow asks.

"I'm not sure," I answer. "If there's a way to find out what happened in the lab, Doc'll find it. Then, maybe, we trace the teleport beam..."

"Yeah, that's real easy," Dragon says.

Now, don't get me wrong. I like Mike. He's basically a good guy. Bit of an attitude problem, maybe, but he's got your back in a fight. But then he says something that I really wish he hadn't.

He says, "Can anything else go wrong this week?"

I don't know about you, but I know that when you say "Can anything else go wrong" or "At least things can't get any worse" they go wrong and get worse.

And when things go wrong for us, they go wrong huge.

Right then, the secret lab explodes. Because Dirk Sterling uses the Gauntlet Sinister to rip a hole through alternities from the Negaverse into ours.

The Sterling Syndicate, the Heirs of Despair, and a group calling themselves the Legion of Crime come pouring into our alternity.

Now, we've all fought our nega-selves at one point or another. I even spent a couple of weeks in the Negaverse one time. Long story, don't ask. And all I have to say about the Negaverse is this - it's fucked up.

Saying it's an evil version of our alternity isn't accurate. In the Negaverse, everything's happened wrong. Troy won the Trojan War. The Jews enslaved the Egyptians to build huge pyramids in honour of their God, Lucifer Morningstar, who overthrew the tyranny of the God Before and feasted on his gooey innards. AntiChristians crucified Romans. Arabian princes invaded Europe in a series of Crusades. Native Amerikan Indian Chief Benedict Arnold united the tribes of Amerika and invaded England. Out of work lawyer Abraham Lincoln assassinated President John Booth at the end of the Civil War, which was fought because wealthy black landowners didn't want to give up their white slaves. FBI Chief Alphonse Capone made his career taking down Mob Boss J. Edgar Hoover. World War II was begun when Poland invaded Germany. Germany surrendered to France, which was then invaded by Amerikans, who had also just launched unprovoked military assaults on Japan. President Lee H. Oswald was shot by John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Jesse Presley grew up to be King of Rock and Roll, his twin brother Elvis having been stillborn.

And Buck Sterling's only son Dirk is the World's Smartest Man, inflicting pain and suffering across the globe, at the command of Odysseus Kent, King and Sovereign of the planet.

They hit us fast and they hit us hard. Tensions are still running high, and we hit them back just as fast and just as hard. Everyone was expecting the fight of their lives. What makes matters worse is Dirk is wearing the Gauntlet Sinister. The Kirby Gauntlet, this alternity's version, is a device, a big ugly right glove, that can do anything, fuelled with the power of everything. The Gauntlet Sinister is the same deal, a big ugly left glove, only for the Negaverse.

Thing is, he's not in the Negaverse. Good thing, too, because otherwise we'd all probably be chunky salsa by now. Or worms, so he can have the fun of crushing us under his boot. Which is something that bald scarred freak likes to do, whenever he gets his hand on the Gauntlet Sinister - he repairs the damage that Sovereign did to his legs, so he can walk again.

Personally I think it's a good thing that he almost never gets his hand on the Gauntlet Sinister. Reed tried explaining it to me once, something to do with the Mobius Block that Reed keeps the Kirby Gauntlet in making it nearly impossible for Dirk to activate the Gauntlet Sinister, going on about morphic resonance across alternity wavelengths, but I'm an accountant, not an alternity physicist.

Still, the Gauntlet Sinister is charged with enough power to do some serious damage in this alternity, and that's exactly what Dirk starts doing.

The little cave is barely big enough to hold us all - nearly a hundred masks and metas going at it, out for blood, hammer and tongs, tooth and nail. There's explosions and yelling and beams of energy and lightning and fire and bullets flying every which way. I see Ragdoll fighting Marionette, Ace shooting it out with Targeter. I catch a glimpse of Majestic and Lady Majestic duking it out with Sovereign and Queen Minerva, and then Micky's found me, jumping me from behind.

"Hiya Matt," he says. He's half human and half rodent, hence his name - The Rat. My nega-self.

"Hey Mick," I manage to say. He's got an arm around my throat. I slam him into the cave wall, he lets go just enough for me to catch my breath and then he's squeezing again.

"How's tricks?" he laughs, this high-pitched nasal giggle.

I manage to flip him over me and I backflip onto the cave wall.

"Same old same old," I cough out. "Whatcha been up to?"

"Rape, murder, arson, you know," he answers. "Business as usual."

"Uh-huh."

I jump him, swiping at him with my claws, somersault over him. He dives but I catch him across the back, he grunts in pain, we both roll, come up claws out, jump at each other. Punches, kicks, flips, claws. Jump at each other, claws out, long deep bloody scratches, his tail wraps around mine and gives it a good hard yank. I'm bigger than he is, more muscle, better nutrition, I pull hard with my tail and toss him against the wall. He's up with a snarl and jumps me, grabbing my wrists and snapping at my face with those long broken teeth. We break apart, circling each other.

"No more foreplay, Matt?"

"Just a quickie, Mick."

I don't have time for this. I'm sort of aware that things aren't going well for our side, and I need to see to my team, not dance with this loser.

Someone else must have noticed, probably Lady Majestic, because suddenly there's a lot more masks teleporting in.

Team Title.

And then things get really cramped. The tide turns. The Syndicate, the Legion and the Heirs find their backs to the wall.

And Dirk pulls the Ennobled through the rift.

Now there's barely enough room to swing a punch, so Dirk gives us some elbow room by opening a fissure in the floor with the Gauntlet Sinister.

We fall into a huge cavern, maybe two, three hundred feet deep. I'll give Micky this much, he doesn't let up, all the way down, falling into the dark, punching and clawing and kicking me. But I'm a little smarter than Micky, and I'm not out for blood. I flip us around at the last second and let him take the brunt of the fall as we hit a stalagmite, bounce off, hit another, bounce, hit the ground. Something went snap in my side and it hurts to breathe, and my left ankle gets twisted, but Micky's much worse off. Not dead, though. Too bad.

In the light of explosions and lightning blasts, energy beams and the various people who are glowing, I get a better view of what's happening. I spot Reed and Dr. Fixit doing some first aid on Charmer and run over.

"This isn't getting us anywhere!" I yell over the thunder and explosions. We're all going to be deaf by the time this is over.

"I concur," Reed says as he applies a tourniquet. Fixit ties it off and it looks like Charmer's going to make it. "What do you suggest?"

"Look!" I say, pointing. Sovereign and Majestic are going at it, pounding each other so hard you can almost feel the shockwaves from here, smashing each other into the walls of the huge cave, nearly too fast to see. All around us, we've squared off against our nega-selves. And in the centre of it all, Dirk Sterling, floating there, laughing at us all, blasting randomly with the Gauntlet Sinister.

"Stalemate," Doc says.

"Exactly," I say. "Sovereign and Majestic can keep this up for hours, maybe days, if they don't collapse the cavern on us all before that. The rest of us are just as evenly matched." I start pointing around the cavern. "Midnight Avenger and Witchlinger. Coyote and Trickster. Dragon and Wyvern. Red Bolt and Bluestreak. Julia and Sindella. Forerunner and Speed Freak. Hex and Jinx. Darklight and Nightwitch. Behemoth and Gargantuos. William Tell and Paris. Minddancer and Psiscream. Nightwoman and Lady Nocturne. Blue Jay and Osprey. Christ, they've even brought in Frau Amerika, and her honour the Mayor isn't even here."

"Yes," Doc says, thinking. "You have a plan?"

"I have a plan."

"Do it."

"Squirrelman to Psifire, get over here!"

"Little busy, Matt!" she says over the nanobead. I spot her not far, green flames erupting from her head, leaping across to Migraine's own orange flames.

I rush over, sweep Migraine's legs out from under her, Psifire's flames engulf her, she goes unconscious with a scream. I run over to Psifire.

"You okay?"

Her nose is bleeding and she looks like hell, but she nods. "You?"

"Yeah."

"What do you need?"

"Can you connect me, telepathically, with everyone here? I mean, everyone on our side."

"Jesus... I've... I don't know."

"I need you to try."

"That many minds - Matt-"

"Dammit, Hannah, yes or no?"

"I'll help," I hear Minddancer's telepathic voice.

"Get over here," I tell her.

"Matt, there's nearly a hundred minds you want me to connect to."

"Hannah, you can do this. I know you can. Minddancer's going to back you up."

"I... Alright."

Minddancer hovers into view and we assemble near where Reed and Fixit are trying to work something out on one of Reed's gadgets. Ragdoll sees us, throws Marionette into a stalagmite hard enough to knock her out, and runs over.

"What's up?" she asks.

"Keep them off me," I say.

"You got it."

Then I feel Hannah's mind touch mine... touch Minddancer's... touch Ragdoll's, Reed's, Fixit's... spread out, out, out, stretching thin. The contact is barely there in some cases, but it's there.

"Squirrelman to everyone," I send. "I have a plan. Listen up."

I tell them my plan. Cricket doesn't like her part, but I don't let her argue. She breaks away from fighting some girl-bug thing with one last solid kick, comes over to us and sits in a crevice in the wall, hiding.

"On my mark," I send out.

Majestic lands a good solid punch on Sovereign, sends him flying.

"Mark!"

Princess, Phenom, Jerry and Joe, Lady Majestic, Megaman, Avatar, Nightwoman, Quetzalcoatl, Survivor and Venturion break off from their opponents and swarm toward Sovereign. A split second before they can get there, he's hit with lightning blasts, energy bolts, exploding arrows, gas cards, and magical spells. I can hear the punches, kicks, and eye-beams hitting Sovereign from here.

It takes about two seconds, and he falls to the ground, unconscious, battered, bloody, beaten.

"Go! Go! Go!" I send.

Superia grows to fifty feet tall and tackles Gargantuos as the super-swarm descends on Goddess. Together, she and Behemoth take out the huge monster. Then Superia joins in with the swarm.

One by one, the super-swarm takes on the big guns. Queen Minerva and Mistress. Lady Nocturne, Possession, Perversion, Duo. Genocide, Frau Amerika. Dominator, Texcatlipoca, and Praetorian. This frees up our forces to team up and take on the less powerful bad guys. Atlanta Strongbow, William Tell and Moonbow take out the fliers like Osprey and King Vulture, while Blue Jay and Eagleman take on Skadi, Paris and Nightarrow. Darklight, Pentacle, Trinity, Julia, and Hex form a fivesome, creating what Anna will explain to me later is a makeshift coven, a temporary dedication of energies toward a single purpose, which makes them collectively greater than the sum of their parts. Nightwitch, Ouroboros, Trio, Sindella and Jinx don't stand a chance. Physique and Showdown switch dance partners, and a couple of seconds later Brawna and Nemesis are down for the count.

A bunch of them figure out what's going on, rush toward me and my little group. Ragdoll's joined by Troubleshooter, Bronco, Lucky Star, Go-Getter, Midnight Avenger, Showdown and Mole. They keep the Negaversians off us.

Dirk's initial response is to call in more reinforcements. Green Spectre, Vodun, Uriel, Lycanthrope and Sammi Haine sudden show up. I'm tempted to get the coven to call in the Weirdsville Nine, really just to see the look on Jude's face when he sees his pseudo-cultist nega-self, but I figure, why bother? We've got this pretty much wrapped up. The coven locks down Green Spectre, the super-swarm takes out Vodun and Uriel, Rapunzel wraps up Lycanthrope and Elasticman traps Sammi. Don't know what Dirk was thinking, really.

But then he decides enough's enough. His forces are seriously on the ropes so he looks for Reed.

Reed's on the other side of the cave by now, and lets himself be a target.

Dirk waves the Gauntlet Sinister at Reed, grabbing him telekinetically, lifting him into the air.

"Did you really believe I wouldn't see through your pathetic ruse?" Dirk says to Reed, then waves the gauntlet at us.

There's a kind of microphone feedback that goes through our heads. Psifire and Minddancer pass out, and everyone's down on their knees or falling from the air, clutching their heads. Except, for some reason, me.

Then I feel a fist close around my windpipe, lifting me into the air. I can't breathe, I'm clawing at my throat to get it off, but there's nothing to get off. Dirk's laughing and I'm dying. He floats in closer to me, lifting me up with a flick of a gauntleted finger, circling around me so that he can keep an eye on Reed in the distance.

"I'm impressed, Squirrelman," he says. "He told me you were a genius with metahuman resource management, but I had no idea."

And that's when I finally catch Cricket's eye and give a meaningful glance at the Gauntlet Sinister.

She jumps out of the crevice she was hiding in. Lands on Dirk's shoulders. Grabs at the Gauntlet, her feet on his chest for leverage. It comes off his hand with a pop! sound that would be funny if I weren't busy dying.

The Negaversians disappear. I can breathe again, and spend the next couple of seconds doing exactly that. I see Cricket checking out the Gauntlet Sinister for a second before it disappears, too.

"Way to go, Cricket," I cough out.

"How did you know?" she asks me.

"Know what? That he'd get close enough for you to jump him?" I ask. She nods. "They always do, kiddo. They have to see the fear in your eyes. Smell the sweat pouring off you. Some folks say that they monologue because they want to be understood. Me, I think they're just assholes who like to gloat. Anyhow, sorry I couldn't tell you the plan. If their teeps had picked it up beforehand... And cutting you out of our telepath web meant that the Dirk's attack wouldn't affect you."

She looks at me with those big bug eyes of hers.

"You were trusting me with your life," she says. I give her a smile.

"Cricket, you're part of my team. I trust everyone on the team with my life."

And for some reason that gets her choked up a little, so she just nods.

People are getting over their headaches, getting to their feet, coming over. In terms of casualties, we got lucky. A few broken bones, my ribs included; a couple of mild concussions; lots of scratches, lots of cuts, tons of bruises. Charmer's still out from blood loss, Go-Getter's in shock from a broken leg, so they go too when Botany gets med-evac'd out to the Citadel. No fatalities. Thank God.

"How'd you know Dirk would use a telepathic attack?" Ragdoll asks me quietly.

"Fastest way to take everyone out, wasn't it?" I answer. She gives me a funny look. I put an arm over her shoulders and she smiles.

So we're standing there, hundreds of feet underground, the Sterling Squad, TeenSupreme, Team Title and the Crimefighters' League. It hits me.

My team. Playing in the big leagues.

"WOO!!" Ace yells suddenly, punching the air, and we're cheering and clapping and hugging each other.

And then, for some reason, everyone's congratulating me. Like I did something.

"He's right, you know," Doc says to me, shaking my hand.

"Who, Dirk?"

Reed nods. "You are a genius when it comes to metahuman resource management."

I shrug and grin, kinda embarrassed. When the World's Smartest Man calls you a genius, it's something.

"Maybe, but who told him?" I say. "Anyway, all I did was see a solution to a problem."

"So what's your solution for getting us out of here?" Showdown laughs.

"Powerband?" I ask.

"You got it, boss."

Powerband makes a bunch of platforms to carry us. Between the platforms, all the fliers we've got here, and the makeshift coven magicking out the rest, getting out isn't even a problem.

Team Title gets a call for some disaster in Micronesia. Before they go, Majestic hands me a Team Title signaller with a smile and a clap on the shoulder.

We leave Doc, Jeannie and Troubleshooter to look through Living Complex's datafiles and head topside. Once there, TeenSupreme and the Sterling Squad head off.

"Before everyone heads out," I say to the League, "quick show of hands - Who wants to accept the Mayor's offer?"

The League votes.