Squirrelman - Sins of the Past 20
Invited to a drink with the infamous Kosmos Konstaninopoulos, Squirrelman gets a nasty surprise when the homocidal maniac Johnny Giggles shows up, and leaves a bomb as a parting gift...
Five.
I get pins-and-needles as control over my muscles returns. Johnny must have turned off his stasis field. Right generous of him, I have time to think.
"Remove the rear panel!" Konstantinopoulos orders me, already going for a knife on the table.
Four.
I hot-squeeze out my claws and rip the panel out, screws and all. Gotta love that adrenaline. Under the panel is a spaghetti mess of wires and blinking lights. Ace would know what to do. He's on the other side of the room. Konstantinopoulos is lunging at the bomb with the knife.
Three
Why the hell isn't anyone doing anything? They're all just standing around, even that speedster busboy. Even Konstantinopoulos' two masks, the big guy who gave me the hard stare and that deadly-looking oriental chick. Somebody in this damn place has to have teleporting or something! Get these people out of here! Get this fucking bomb out of here!
"He rewired it." Konstantinopoulos is sweating as he checks out the wires.
Two
He grabs a yellow wire and follows it to the electronic panel and swears something in Greek. Every muscle wants to twitch the hell away from this thing. People are starting to scream now.
One
Konstantinopoulos cuts the yellow wire.
The bomb doesn't go off.
I start breathing again and my heart is pounding.
Everyone starts cheering.
Konstantinopoulos stands up to bask a little. He motions for me to stand up too. I need to piss really bad. I stand up. People are applauding.
"How did you know he rewired it?" I ask him, under the noise of the crowd.
"I designed it, Squirrelman," he answers, still smiling to his customers. "I ought to know what it looks like, properly wired."
He raises a hand for quiet.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for this interruption into your evening's festivities," he says, all smooth and reassuring. "But thanks to some help from your friendly neighbourhood Squirrelman here, I was able to avert the disaster."
No shit, Sherlock, we're all still here instead of raining down in little chunks on the street below. Man, this guy rubs me the wrong way.
The crowd, however, seems to love it, because they're all cheering and applauding again.
"The Cosmos Lounge is extremely sorry for this disruption. In the hopes that you won't think too badly of us in the future, please accept the Lounge's compliments - your meals and drinks are on the house."
More applauding, louder cheering. He's getting good P.R. out of us nearly getting blown up.
He turns to me and offers his hand again. I take it and we shake. The crowd goes wild. I nod to him and head back to my table.
"My hero," Ragdoll teases, and leans over to kiss me. I roll my eyes, but what the hell, a kiss is a kiss.
"Way to go, son," Ace smirks. "You're pals with the big boys now. Guess we oughta call you Mister Squirrelman now."
"Shut up," I say. "Where's the menu? I'm gonna order the lobster. And champagne. And everything expensive."
"So is everyone else, I suspect," Darklight says quietly.
"Yeah, well, he offered us our tab first, before Johnny showed up with the party favour."
"Really?" Physique asks. "Why?"
"For Squirrelman and his amazing guests."
"You're in a shitty mood," Ragdoll says.
"We nearly got blown up."
"That's not it."
"Konstantinopoulos just bugs me. I don't know why. Could be just because the man's an ass. Anyhow. Change the subject, okay?"
I wave the waiter over and order Dom Perignon and shrimp cocktails for us all. Everyone's looking at their menus, so I order the steak and lobster. Everyone else orders their meals and the waiter heads off again.
"So what do you want to talk about, Squirrelly?" Ace asks.
"Let's talk names," I suggest.
"It all boils down to what we want to have as a mission statement," Ragdoll says. "I say we're crimefighters. The big league, alien invasion stuff? The Sterling Squad and the Warpers and Team Title, they take care of all that. I say we stick to the street. And use that as a name."
"Street Squad?" Physique jokes.
"Or, the Crimefighters Unit?" Ace says.
"Not unit, too many jokes." Physique laughs.
"What about Crimefighter Corps?" Ace says.
"We're not military." I slug back my drink, which reminds me I have to take a leak. I head out and take care of business, then head back to the table. They're still talking about it.
I notice Konstantinopoulos and his people have left.
"We can't call ourselves the Crimebusters or the New Crimebusters," Ragdoll is saying. "The original team was a Knight City team, and adding New to a team is cheap."
"Well, take an Action City team then," Physique says. "The New Guard."
"I'm telling you, New is passé. It's like saying Super or Extreme."
"What about that team name you found last night?" I ask. "The Guardians?"
Darklight, pale as she is, goes the colour of milk.
"Not Guardians," she says, fear thick in her voice. "Anything but the Guardians."
"Why not?" Ace asks.
"I... have a bad feeling about that name."
"It's more than that, hon." Physique puts her hand on Darklight's shoulder.
"What do you know?" Ragdoll asks. Darklight just shakes her head.
"When you said the name... I got a... a flash, of a newspaper headline. 'Guardians wiped out by Traitor.'"
Ragdoll goes very still beside me.
"Not the Guardians then," I say. "Do you have any insight as to what we will call ourselves?"
She smiles a little, a bit of colour coming back.
"It doesn't work like that," she says. "I don't know any more than you do what we call ourselves. We do become a team, that much I know."
The waiter comes with our orders and we proceed to chow down. The food is really good, I'll give Konstantinopoulos that much.
Dinner conversation turns to other things when it becomes obvious we're not going to decide on a team name tonight. By the end of the meal I'm able to relax a little, and we're laughing and joking.
"Man, I'm stuffed," Ace says, leaning back in his chair. He looks over at Physique. "How did you pack that all away?"
"You got a metabolism like mine, honey, you'd eat three steaks too," she laughs.
"Yeah, but a plate of spaghetti on top of that?"
"Gotta carb up before a workout."
"You're going to workout now?" Ragdoll asks.
"All depends," Physique says, eyeing Ace. "Some sort of exercise, anyway."
Ace raises an eyebrow, about to say something suitably crass. I stand up.
"I'm heading over to the Spire," I tell them. "Anyone want to come with?"
Ragdoll nods. Physique looks at me.
"The Sterling Spire?"
"Yeah."
"Want a lift? I've got my skycycle, and I want to talk to Doc anyway."
"Sure, beats riding the outside of an el train."
"I dunno sugar, you haven't seen how I drive."
"Darklight?"
"No thanks," she smiles. "I need to meditate on what's happened."
"Ace?"
"Sure, why not?" He's got his eye on Physique when he says it.
We all head out, Ace on his flying card, Ragdoll and I on the spare seats of Physique's skycycle. We're about halfway there when greenish-blue lightning rips a hole in the sky and hundreds of guys dressed in furs riding mechanical flying horses pour out of it.
"Now that's something you don't see every day," Ace yells to us.
The Sterling Spire lights up and we see their flying car soar out the top. Physique aims her skycycle to intercept them and I watch as dozens of Action City's crimefighters take to the skies to fight off the flying horde. I see the Sterling Squad, the Warpers, a gang from Team Title, TeenSupreme.
The guys on the horses have ray guns and start using them. Action City's defenders have their hands full.
We catch up to Doc Sterling's flying car. He's coordinating the defense.
"Reed!" I yell. He waves to us.
"Good to see you," he calls.
"What is this?"
"Gardner violation! Golden Horde alternity 674b, I think!"
That's all we hear because they're on us, firing at us, swooping right toward us. It starts to rain. Now we have lightning to worry about, too.
"Rags take the wheel!" Physique yells and jumps off the skycycle. She falls toward the nearest rooftop, then leaps straight up, smashing right through one of the Mongols' skysteeds.
Ragdoll pilots the skycycle like a champ, gets me near enough to jump off and grab a Mongol, yank his ray gun out of his hand and slash the controls of his skysteed. He spirals out of control and I jump for the next guy.
Lousy rain makes the metal horse really slick, so I don't get a good jump, and I miss.
The street looks really, really far from here.
Five.
I get pins-and-needles as control over my muscles returns. Johnny must have turned off his stasis field. Right generous of him, I have time to think.
"Remove the rear panel!" Konstantinopoulos orders me, already going for a knife on the table.
Four.
I hot-squeeze out my claws and rip the panel out, screws and all. Gotta love that adrenaline. Under the panel is a spaghetti mess of wires and blinking lights. Ace would know what to do. He's on the other side of the room. Konstantinopoulos is lunging at the bomb with the knife.
Three
Why the hell isn't anyone doing anything? They're all just standing around, even that speedster busboy. Even Konstantinopoulos' two masks, the big guy who gave me the hard stare and that deadly-looking oriental chick. Somebody in this damn place has to have teleporting or something! Get these people out of here! Get this fucking bomb out of here!
"He rewired it." Konstantinopoulos is sweating as he checks out the wires.
Two
He grabs a yellow wire and follows it to the electronic panel and swears something in Greek. Every muscle wants to twitch the hell away from this thing. People are starting to scream now.
One
Konstantinopoulos cuts the yellow wire.
The bomb doesn't go off.
I start breathing again and my heart is pounding.
Everyone starts cheering.
Konstantinopoulos stands up to bask a little. He motions for me to stand up too. I need to piss really bad. I stand up. People are applauding.
"How did you know he rewired it?" I ask him, under the noise of the crowd.
"I designed it, Squirrelman," he answers, still smiling to his customers. "I ought to know what it looks like, properly wired."
He raises a hand for quiet.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for this interruption into your evening's festivities," he says, all smooth and reassuring. "But thanks to some help from your friendly neighbourhood Squirrelman here, I was able to avert the disaster."
No shit, Sherlock, we're all still here instead of raining down in little chunks on the street below. Man, this guy rubs me the wrong way.
The crowd, however, seems to love it, because they're all cheering and applauding again.
"The Cosmos Lounge is extremely sorry for this disruption. In the hopes that you won't think too badly of us in the future, please accept the Lounge's compliments - your meals and drinks are on the house."
More applauding, louder cheering. He's getting good P.R. out of us nearly getting blown up.
He turns to me and offers his hand again. I take it and we shake. The crowd goes wild. I nod to him and head back to my table.
"My hero," Ragdoll teases, and leans over to kiss me. I roll my eyes, but what the hell, a kiss is a kiss.
"Way to go, son," Ace smirks. "You're pals with the big boys now. Guess we oughta call you Mister Squirrelman now."
"Shut up," I say. "Where's the menu? I'm gonna order the lobster. And champagne. And everything expensive."
"So is everyone else, I suspect," Darklight says quietly.
"Yeah, well, he offered us our tab first, before Johnny showed up with the party favour."
"Really?" Physique asks. "Why?"
"For Squirrelman and his amazing guests."
"You're in a shitty mood," Ragdoll says.
"We nearly got blown up."
"That's not it."
"Konstantinopoulos just bugs me. I don't know why. Could be just because the man's an ass. Anyhow. Change the subject, okay?"
I wave the waiter over and order Dom Perignon and shrimp cocktails for us all. Everyone's looking at their menus, so I order the steak and lobster. Everyone else orders their meals and the waiter heads off again.
"So what do you want to talk about, Squirrelly?" Ace asks.
"Let's talk names," I suggest.
"It all boils down to what we want to have as a mission statement," Ragdoll says. "I say we're crimefighters. The big league, alien invasion stuff? The Sterling Squad and the Warpers and Team Title, they take care of all that. I say we stick to the street. And use that as a name."
"Street Squad?" Physique jokes.
"Or, the Crimefighters Unit?" Ace says.
"Not unit, too many jokes." Physique laughs.
"What about Crimefighter Corps?" Ace says.
"We're not military." I slug back my drink, which reminds me I have to take a leak. I head out and take care of business, then head back to the table. They're still talking about it.
I notice Konstantinopoulos and his people have left.
"We can't call ourselves the Crimebusters or the New Crimebusters," Ragdoll is saying. "The original team was a Knight City team, and adding New to a team is cheap."
"Well, take an Action City team then," Physique says. "The New Guard."
"I'm telling you, New is passé. It's like saying Super or Extreme."
"What about that team name you found last night?" I ask. "The Guardians?"
Darklight, pale as she is, goes the colour of milk.
"Not Guardians," she says, fear thick in her voice. "Anything but the Guardians."
"Why not?" Ace asks.
"I... have a bad feeling about that name."
"It's more than that, hon." Physique puts her hand on Darklight's shoulder.
"What do you know?" Ragdoll asks. Darklight just shakes her head.
"When you said the name... I got a... a flash, of a newspaper headline. 'Guardians wiped out by Traitor.'"
Ragdoll goes very still beside me.
"Not the Guardians then," I say. "Do you have any insight as to what we will call ourselves?"
She smiles a little, a bit of colour coming back.
"It doesn't work like that," she says. "I don't know any more than you do what we call ourselves. We do become a team, that much I know."
The waiter comes with our orders and we proceed to chow down. The food is really good, I'll give Konstantinopoulos that much.
Dinner conversation turns to other things when it becomes obvious we're not going to decide on a team name tonight. By the end of the meal I'm able to relax a little, and we're laughing and joking.
"Man, I'm stuffed," Ace says, leaning back in his chair. He looks over at Physique. "How did you pack that all away?"
"You got a metabolism like mine, honey, you'd eat three steaks too," she laughs.
"Yeah, but a plate of spaghetti on top of that?"
"Gotta carb up before a workout."
"You're going to workout now?" Ragdoll asks.
"All depends," Physique says, eyeing Ace. "Some sort of exercise, anyway."
Ace raises an eyebrow, about to say something suitably crass. I stand up.
"I'm heading over to the Spire," I tell them. "Anyone want to come with?"
Ragdoll nods. Physique looks at me.
"The Sterling Spire?"
"Yeah."
"Want a lift? I've got my skycycle, and I want to talk to Doc anyway."
"Sure, beats riding the outside of an el train."
"I dunno sugar, you haven't seen how I drive."
"Darklight?"
"No thanks," she smiles. "I need to meditate on what's happened."
"Ace?"
"Sure, why not?" He's got his eye on Physique when he says it.
We all head out, Ace on his flying card, Ragdoll and I on the spare seats of Physique's skycycle. We're about halfway there when greenish-blue lightning rips a hole in the sky and hundreds of guys dressed in furs riding mechanical flying horses pour out of it.
"Now that's something you don't see every day," Ace yells to us.
The Sterling Spire lights up and we see their flying car soar out the top. Physique aims her skycycle to intercept them and I watch as dozens of Action City's crimefighters take to the skies to fight off the flying horde. I see the Sterling Squad, the Warpers, a gang from Team Title, TeenSupreme.
The guys on the horses have ray guns and start using them. Action City's defenders have their hands full.
We catch up to Doc Sterling's flying car. He's coordinating the defense.
"Reed!" I yell. He waves to us.
"Good to see you," he calls.
"What is this?"
"Gardner violation! Golden Horde alternity 674b, I think!"
That's all we hear because they're on us, firing at us, swooping right toward us. It starts to rain. Now we have lightning to worry about, too.
"Rags take the wheel!" Physique yells and jumps off the skycycle. She falls toward the nearest rooftop, then leaps straight up, smashing right through one of the Mongols' skysteeds.
Ragdoll pilots the skycycle like a champ, gets me near enough to jump off and grab a Mongol, yank his ray gun out of his hand and slash the controls of his skysteed. He spirals out of control and I jump for the next guy.
Lousy rain makes the metal horse really slick, so I don't get a good jump, and I miss.
The street looks really, really far from here.
Yes, New is lame. But you forgot the current stinker of stinkers, Ultimate.
Sins Of The Past, Guardians betrayed... is that a plot I see looming?
t!
In terms of novels, we've just entered Chapter Two. Of what will likely be a trilogy of books.
Maybe I should up my word quota for each week. At this rate I'm going to be writing Squirrelman until 2014 or so.
Not that I mind, you understand...