Coffee Talk

Sitting in the bus, in transit to and from office, I do many things. I read. I listen to music. I observe people.

During my travels (Gee! doesn't that sound grand... like Gulliver?!) I've noticed that people just love to fall asleep in the bus. As the bus covers the miles towards their destinations, these individuals log their "Zzz" miles. In doing so, they become objects of my observation.

There are some people who enter the bus and wait expectantly for the conductor to come to them. As soon as the conductor has clicked their tickets, these people immediately start conducting their own symphony in snores!

Then there are some fastidious gentlemen (and ladies too, for that matter!) who, amidst a lot of rustling of the crisp early morning newspaper, look down upon the boorish individuals who sleep in vehicles of public transport. Then mid-way through the editorial, they themselves drift off into slumberland while their reading glasses gradually slip further down their noses.

Then there's a species of sleepers who drift in and out of sleep endlessly. Everytime they wake up, they look around drowsily and try to judge whether they've overshot their destination. By some divine intervention, these idiots usually are on the wake-up phase of their sleep-wakeup-sleep cycle just before their stop arrives.

Talking about sleeping... lets concentrate on the positions!

Position 1: The sleeper's head tilts sideways. Only the head, though! Sometimes it rests against the window, sometimes against the innocent passenger seating next to him/her, sometimes it just hangs about in mid-air or sometimes it even rests against the hip of the person unfortunate enough to be standing in the gangway. This position puts some strain on the sleeper's neck... and on the patience of the co-passenger against whom the sleeper rests.

Position 2: The sleeper's head tilts forward. Only the head! Sometimes the head tilts so far forward that people sitting a few seats back swear that they saw a headless person a few seats in front of them. But this position is non-invasive as far as the co-passengers' personal space is concerned. The only downside of this position that I've observed is that once a sleeper drooled in his slumber and the slobber collected in a small puddle on his trousers... right next to the zipper!
A variant of this position is when the sleeper's head tilts backwards. This is a comparatively rare position.

Position 3: The sleeper leans sideways. Not just the head... the entire torso! It is similar to position 1 with the difference being that the co-passengers feel pushed out of their seats when the sleeper in this position leans against them.

Position 4: The sleeper leans forward. Again... the entire torso. The leaning forward is a gradual process and in time, the sleeper's head strikes against the handlebar on the seat in front. Apart from running the risk of cracking the temple, this position does not endanger the sleeper.

Position 5: The straight sleeper. No leaning, no tilting, no nothing! No fun!

Position 6: The stand-up sleeper. Its strange but its true. There are a group of fanatics who won't take things lying down. They have no problems about visiting slumberland while they stand in a crowded bus. These people lean their head against their upraised arm (which clutches the rod above) and sleep, oblivious to the crowd around them. These people can get into amusing situations if a lot of passenger alight leaving the sleeping person... standing alone in the centre of the gangway, as if in some kind of penance!

Position 7: The hybrid. This is a complicated bunch of sleepers. They have evolved a new position using some of the positions mentioned above. The results of this hybrid positioning are usually interesting. Once I saw a guy sleeping in a combination of positions 2 and 3. The result was that his head ended up right in front of his co-passenger's chest. And yes, the co-passenger was a lady! After a couple of minutes of tolerating the sleeping idiot, she unscrewed the cap of her water-bottle, poured some water into the cap and splashed it on the idiot's face!

That's my 'research' on this obscure subject. Soon, I hope to build up enough material to write a thesis that'll earn me a doctorate!

So my kind readers, any more insights into this topic??