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mmmmrghh... [20 Mar 2008|11:25am] [ mood | hungry ] yay for lunchtime posting (despite the lack of posting in the last few months...*sigh*) but...for those interested, three months or so away from the wedding, and so far...all that's left is to assemble/send out invites, get the ceremony fan-thing going, tuxes for sure (appt this weekend) pick out food and cake. ...doesn't seem like much...>_< and i don't think i'd be half-as-far as i am without my mom's help (and nagging. love her to death but damn. i don't need a 'reminder' every other hour.) aside from the wedding...i'd say work is okay. it's been hella slow, which is fine since i'm working mostly on reorganizing the library, but then, that's easy enough. Though, there's always a coworker that's a pain to work with. (sometimes several.) I'll have to do a separate post later on about that. surge, i'm guessing, is about 30%-ish so far. I just need all the little scenes between the end of part1 and the major scene with Itachi. Then it's over. (please, let it be over, stop spamming me with MORE...) BH - i need to type up my written scenes. I'd have almost HALF of each chapter after what i've posted (parts 1-3). This story always ends up being 'fill-in-the-blanks' when i get stuff typed up. ........hey. ..........no. no, i will not write shamelesspornstar!Naruto & jadedPornstar!Sasuke, absolutely not........no, not even if i've already thought out how it'd work as a one-shot. no. noooo. .....but then, that's only the THIRD one i've wanted to start while bashing away at surge. bah. need more food, break's almost over. 1 comment|post comment

post-it! [07 Jan 2008|08:08pm] [ mood | pleased ] okay, so...i got something i should've had done way back in summer... but, it grew past 30 pages and it was actually difficult to make sure the sex-scene wasn't forced. *cough* you can't quite miss it, now. But, in lieu of Tsaiko's bday - a one-shot i wanted to write because it's just been too long. And she deserves it for putting up with surge, anyway. Title: Crush Author: Sugahlei Pairing: NaruSasu Disclaimer: It never belongs to me...*sigh* Rating: Nc17 Summary: Sasuke decides alcohol is the next best thing to ignoring his issues--(not just Naruto)--but Naruto follows him home anyway. Link: Here! hope you like! 6 comments|post comment

...xmas! [24 Dec 2007|12:12pm] [ mood | cheerful ] Merry Xmas, people. Hope this day finds you all with loved ones and family and lots of your sin-of-choice. :) maybe, if i'm lucky, i'll have perhaps a long-pwp oneshot for xmas later...XD 1 comment|post comment

....odd enough. [28 Nov 2007|04:43pm] [ mood | artistic ] okay. so, it's not fair when i'm trying to sit down and think out/plot a scene and/or emotional damage etc and ... well... let's just say it goes pretty much like this:: Sug(thinking deep, author-ish thoughts) "Okay, so, we're gonna have Daisuke do this, and--Ken, you're okay with some extra angst, right?" Ken "Do i get extra make-out/smex for this?" Sug (panning over notes) "Uh...sure. I need something to break up the scenes, anyway. Okay, i'm set--you ready?" insert random scene - most likely Daisuke trying to get Ken to talk to him, flirting, some random touching and a dash of a Dramatic!scene. "--oooh, nice--okay, Daisuke gets to lean in and try--well, something--" *pause* Sug (hears music somewhere - anywhere -"he~ey...are you guys paying attention?" Sug (looks up to see Daisuke and Ken too busy out-dancing each other, on each other, to whatever music is playing. (and i do mean what ever music there is.) "Oh, goddammit! Hey! Stop dancing! You can't dance in this story, anyway!" Sug(ignored) "...Ken, we should write the scenes with your brother--" Nothing. "Daisuke--someone's got a video of your latest sex-scene--" nothing. Sug (sighing) "...fine. I'll just go work on something ELSE, then--" and sees Naruto wrestling Sasuke in their Perpetual!Naked!Dominance!issue... Exasperated!Sug "...i hate you. i hate all of you." ...."you can play with me..."...and Yiru, wtf end yeah. so. that's what happens in my story-planning process. ;_; dancing right in the middle of the scene...no matter what, no matter when. they will dance to anything. *sigh*. i suppose, at least, i don't get Sasuke or Naruto dancing...no, they just have sex. or try to. or show off or compete for the most muscle-flexing or something.... but that's also random...imagine surge, with about fifty extra pointless sex scenes... no, wait, don't--i'll end up writing it! O_O blah. random update. :) yeah, at home, whuoooo! 4 comments|post comment

...\ *o* / [26 Nov 2007|04:54pm] [ mood | excited ] omg my mom showed up with a puter from bestbuy and the 'net!! *daze* ...i've got net. omgholyshitwhut? so, yeah. i get access, now. o_o now i don't got any excuse not to get some stuff done...but how do you fight the totally random--absolutely weirdly where-the-fuck-did-you-come-from random bunnies for GundamWing and Yu Yu Hakusho? no, seriously, brain, wtf? granted they're nice, awesome ideas, but damn. wtf? ...i really want to do the GW ficlet...it'd be a 1X2, wherein Heero has some sort of self-hypnosis and happens to use it at the worse time (he thinks he won't be rescued XD) and ends up with a wounded Duo on some abandoned colony without any sense of self. it just sounds so...fun. and the colony, and everything with THAT, how Heero gets better etc (and of course the smex-tension etc heee) ...but i can't. mustn't. *sigh* eventually, i will, but for now, i'm tying up a one-shot, fragments of BH and oddly enough, a few fragments for ADoS...(what IS it with me and putting them on bikes?) and surge. when it's done sulking over the fact i made it have a baby. :) ...whuzzaaah for 'net!! 4 comments|post comment

WTFBBQ? [08 Nov 2007|07:41am] [ mood | amused ] omg whut? O_o.... yeah, so after the last two weeks of staring at this...and tweaking...only HALF of the chapter seven. (forty friggin' pages?!) ...'bout time, i think. ...second part shouldn't take...long...longER, anyway. oiy, tsaiko, if you read it, let me know if i need to adjust anything. i'm pretty okay with this chapter, but hey, you never know. (has to work now, omg...) 1 comment|post comment

on further notes... [25 Sep 2007|07:21am] [ mood | tired ] well, this week has been okay, so far (considering it's still only tuesday...>_<) over the weekend, it was okay too, despite all the drama going on there. spent time with bf's family, went to sunday 50th anniversary for his g'parents... and then i found out my grandpa died on sunday, at 10am. -_- fell asleep and his heart gave out...Funeral's on wednesday, so the only bonus about that is 'yay. no work' but, it's not as shocking/surprising at the moment, because of his stint in the hospital. we knew he wasn't lasting much longer...it's enough he went peacefully. ... on other news, part one of surge's 7 is off to beta. few scenes left to type up, but other than that, it's almost ready. ...and then it's on to the harder, twisty stuff. :) (and maybe BH, or ADoS...XD that would be...most enjoyable.) post comment

?_ [13 Sep 2007|10:52am] [ mood | amused ] well. how effin' weird is it to find a picture of something very similiar to what you've drawn, oh, five years ago? ...i swear to god that i found someone that did a painting, very similiar to an old sketch of Ken/Dai that i'm not sure ever got online...but it's possible. i'm not calling it a rip-off, it's just...eerie. cuz this pic isn't on devart....i drew mine way back in 2002, right around the time i got into digimon in the first place, and where my art wasn't...as top-notch as i wanted it to be. AND i drew this sketch off an advertisement...two, three years ago, i used it in college-town and repainted with watercolor...it was effin' huge, too. well, anyway...check out sarahseiter.com, under the color gallery, and teh one called "eternal embrace" and tell me if you've seen the resemblence... ..or....someone let me know if i'm not just crazy. post comment

....lessee...offensive, rude and condescending? [05 Sep 2007|03:37pm] [ mood | infuriated ] ....on a completely different note...who's up for some bitchin'? first and foremost, what the fuck did i ever do to deserve such a blatant disrespect of someone i care about? what the hell did i ever DO except be a friend to you? and yeah, consider me pissed because that was fucking uncalled-for condescending crap. you do NOT fucking tell me that my fiance is a "a waste of a human being who wants nothing out of life except to have you, to work and play video games. last i fucking checked, money, loved ones & hobbies are the epitome of happiness. and i understand that you may have an issue with whatever you THINK you know from what i've told you, but in truth, you have no right to make that kind of judgement and expect me to accept it and follow your advice. and the whole line "If I hear another complaint about the stupidest shit arguement again... I will NOT support your engagement to him. " yeah, okay. do whatever the fuck you want. i personally don't give a damn if you don't, because one, it's my decision to deal with justin and his flaws, not yours. two, because you don't even know the entire story. you don't even know HIM, so you can fuck off with whatever opinion your puffed up on. ... but this....drivel?! "You on the other hand are NOT content... your heart will never be satisfied until you tell Justin the truth. At that moment you tell him, you will not only be in sadness you will also be at peace with yourself. Only then will you be truly happy. Even if it means giving up all those years of being together. At least you have them and the memories." all i have to say to this is, how the fuck do YOU know? what truth? that i'm not content? that i've had cigarettes when i drink? that i likes the pot, occasionally? i HAVE told him, he's perfectly aware of it. he was aware of it from the starting. but you know what? i'm more upset by the fact that you think actually think that kind of shit. i LEFT and went to college, and you seem to think i haven't changed. you seem to base your opinion/knowledge on the scattered conversations we've had, and the posts i've made in livejournal. i respect and appreciate the fact that you're worried, but...i've been hearing it for the last two years and i'm getting tired of it. i'm fully aware of what i want from him, what he's capable of, and how it should get done...and since i'm the one who's gotta deal with justin, as fragile and insecure and anxious over the stupidest things as he is, i'd appreciate it more if you back the fuck off the stuff you don't know shit about, okay? ....for those curious as to WHY....previous-post comments. go ahead and read.

[05 Sep 2007|03:23pm] [ mood | irritated ] my grandpa's dying. He's got maybe a week at the most. He's been throwing up blood and doctors think he's had a bleeding ulcer, again...but he's 88. he doesn't want the surgery they can offer, he doesn't even want the IV's *sigh*. almost all of the family is up or flying up soon just to be here. it kinda...sucks. i don't know how my mom'll take it, or how i'll actually feel when he's actually dead... but i don't know if it's worse to walk into the hospital room and see him like a holocaust victim, he's that thin, lost 15, 20 lbs over last few days and know he's going to be dead. it's weird. my paternal grandpa died when i was 11, or 12...i don't remember him or his death very well...i'm just not prepared for this. .... it's just gonna be a bitchy, pain-in-the-ass week in general. i wanna write. i wanna do nothing. i'd like to go home and have several, if not one too many beers. i want it to be friday, dammit, so i know i've got money, at least. fuck. i need a goddamned credit card so that when i DO have no money, i can at least get gas and make it to work... argh. i want to feel connected, again. 4 comments|post comment

=_=;;; [02 Sep 2007|11:43am] [ mood | crappy ] kinda tired, today. spent the last three days creating bead-strands to put on ceterpieces for a wedding i'm involved in...at most, they got three hours of use. They looked okay, but if i hadn't slacked off for the last four months, i wouldn't have been stressed out to get them done in the first place. had lots of fun, last night. even my boy came with, despite he hid out on the top last night to watch the lights. did i mention we ended up on a ferry/paddle boat for the wedding? was cool. had good food, probably the best since any wedding, good music and not too many people. fuck, i even had a cigarette after my nth drink, ... ...and now, bf is giving me cold shoulder. is it just me, or does that seem a bit over the top? i had ONE fucking cigarette, which he's been all "omg smoking--they're trying to ban smoking, they can't do that--but you can't smoke cuz i don't like it." so, uh, wtf? *sigh* all in all, i had a marvelous time and i'm STILL trying to get the makeup off my face.... but, i should be back, later. PART of ch 7 should be ready, soon. i'm gonna have to divide it. good god. >_ post comment

....holyshitwhut? [02 Aug 2007|07:55am] [ mood | anxious ] ...the bridge on I-35 in Minneapolis collapsed last night about six pm, during rush-hour, into the river. there were an estimated 50-60 cars that went in the water, and believe me, just seeing the news cover what's LEFT of the bridge has me shaken. there are cars at 90 degree angles and stuck between concrete. it looks like we had an earthquake, but the pillars gave out and *ploop* down it went... *sigh* ...man. 1 comment|post comment

vroom! [24 Jul 2007|07:25am] [ mood | excited ] car comes in today, i get my car today, yay! XD i'm so excited. now, i just need to make it through work. ....if i didn't work, i'd be getting pulled over for driving my car all spazzoid-fast....cuz yeah, it's cooooool....XD ...*vrooms* 1 comment|post comment

0_<...? [20 Jul 2007|07:22am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Three Days Grace ] well, so far, things are somewhat smooth. my car estimate came through (finally) with the insurance; i ended up with over five grand...much more than i expected. almost three of it went to finish off my dead car...and i ended up with 2450.38 (exactly) to put down on a new car. which i've picked out, and spoke to both car place and bank about the loan & financing...10.5% isn't too bad, i guess. i got him to knock it down from 10.75%....*sigh* should've said the car place could get me 10.0%...XD that'd be sweet. BUT...as i need to call insurance people today, and find out if i can go in after work and sign paperwork and title etc...and if the check they cut me is going to be there, right then...or not. i hope not. >_< i've got to take monday off, depending, (or half of it, anyway) to go and finish it, talk to the bank, sign off on paperwork at dealership where my brother's a car dealer... so i'm getting a 2007 chevy cobalt, pretty much loaded, for a loan of 14-grand. hopefully by monday... ...yay for investing in something i'll be using for ten years, if i can. (maybe five; i could always trade it in) ...aside from that...why is it that whenever i sit down to really work on a story that needs it *coughsurgecougheverythingcoughcough*....there's a different one that isn't even really started...that just falls into place, plot, scenes and what-happens-when-this-does...as if to taunt me with all the pieces just fitting so well together... damnit. no, wait, there's a plus to it...if i do write it...it being the the Mavi/Alastan OC characters...i'd probably get it published.... :) cuz now it's sitting there, mocking me with all story of it.... argh. i wish i had a week off work just to do nothing but write... ....but that'll never happen, not with me working overtime to pay off car....XD... ....here's to the avg '4 hours a night' time! post comment

hrmmm... [16 Jul 2007|12:02pm] [ mood | optimistic ] well, minor update - car estimate = 5,100 roughly. :) this is good. I've got 2,880 left to pay, and i'm pretty sure that the bluebook printout says my car is worth at least 4,100, crappy-low retail etc. so, yay. now, hopefully, the insurance people will contact me today to tell me what they want to give me for the car. if they say 4, woo, i'm getting a new car by thursday. if not, i'm gonna have to bitch'm out. not so yay. but i don't care; as soon as i find out, i'm gonna talk to the bank-man and see if i can get a decent loan for decent financing/percentage. argh. so many little details. sucks. nargh. mmmrble. gotta work now...>_ post comment

[06 Jul 2007|03:08pm] [ mood | excited ] Yay! yay for weekend! yay for weekend at the lake! XD on the plus side - i didn't bounce in my checking, cuz my insurance check cleared (which i needed to get for the estimate by said insurance, woot) so, come monday, i'll be able to find out just exactly what i need for/with/about my car. ... on the negative, my boy isn't coming with. ...i'm not exactly upset about it, i understand that he doesn't want to spend a boring two days in an un-airconditioned place (despite the LAKE!!XD)...but i don't like the excuse "i use the weekends to catch up on my sleep and i can't sleep without AC" ....hm. guess we can't go camping, then, becauwe a TENT sure doesn't have AC. *sigh* argh. he's done this alot. Almost every family thing/event/outing we go together is either Me and Him, and not quite Me & Him & Family...i've felt like i've had to drag him to family things, and he always makes it sound like a big deal. *sigh* my boy needs to stop being so uptight. i try to motivate him to accomplish some much-needed goals, basic life responsiblities, and....sspplltttt. nothing. i get him upset, because i'm 'always bringing it up' and he doesn't wish to discuss the same old argument over and over... but even if he says he will, it doesn't bother me yet,... <-- (add your own sarcastic emphasis...) but i'd sure like to see results. oh well. i'm off work, got paid, heading home to pick up groceries, booze, gas and my brother, and off to the lake! hope you all had a good fourth! *flees* post comment

........god hates me.... [28 Jun 2007|10:21am] [ mood | sore ] ....well. changed my oil on tuesday night, since i was over and my car needed it. went well, had no probs...and by wednesday morning, it was pretty clear that i don't need to get my car fixed anymore, and the oil-change was a waste of time and filter. oh no, i need a new car entirely. 7:00 am-ish, i'm driving along the highway to work, and four cars up, someone cuts in - cue chain-reaction brake slamming time--the white van in front of me barely stopped in time......... ....and i couldn't. i tried, but i couldn't. *sigh* cue-whabamm. .....no, really. i smacked right into the lady cuz we're on the highway and going at least 50 and i KNOW it should be a no-fault claim since she said the three cars in front of her hit their brakes, thus she did, thus i did...and hit her car, too. argh. the whole front end of my car, bumper-up, is a good foot closer than it should be. my change flew OUT of my change-holder (it's a dashboard cupholder) fell through the dash before hitting the floor. everything in my seats hit the floor. it just wasn't cool in general. >_< then, fifteen minutes later, i remembered i had airbags...that didn't go off. (cuz they didn't--or, rather, I didn't hit my bumper.) ... ......now i need a new car. which means, i get to play the 'get the estimate' game with the shop and insurance people, talk to a bank if a dealer-ship's finances is too high, GET a new car (thankgod for my dealer-ship brother) and...start all over again on payments./ but it'll be a newer, better-condition car, so that's fine. ....and sadly, i'm not too upset about it. my next paycheck was already dedicated towards repairing my car...so it can go to the costs of all this crap and set aside etc etc etc. ...so yeah. that's what's new with me. =_=;;; 3 comments|post comment

^_^ set and gunnin' for it! [15 Jun 2007|12:16pm] wooot! june 28th is officially set as my wedding date! XD both the Dalhgreen reception and the Bluff Creek ceremony sites are good to go for that day, yay! i'm very happy with the places, even if my mom DID get all "well, PICK a place---oh, and we're going to look at another one this weekend. Pick something!" me = "O_o...uh..." hah. but i'm happy. dalhgreen is probably the best place for us, reception-wise. It looks professional and cozy and elegent, without being expensive. and it FEELS wide open, with huge windows and a 10-foot wide, 15-foot high Fireplace....*sigh* all STONE. beautiful. ceremony area is just as pretty. I'm getting married in the woods, hah! XD as much time as i've spent in the woods throughout my life...it's definately fitting. but, more on that later, i'm being hassled to work. :P ...*sniff* tsaaaiko....did my email not work? (@_@) 5 comments|post comment

mwah...eh? [04 Jun 2007|04:01pm] [ mood | restless ] blah. had a lot going on these last few weeks. 2 different weddings, plus work and time spent with family, friends and spousal-unit-to-be. :) lotta crap, yes? haven't found out as much about the person responsible for my stolen name/stories (and yes, Fuck YOU, bizthex-person, you theivious bastard.)...now i've got to find time to track down all the lists my stories are hosted under, and get them together. but that's all well and good, it's just... now...now i'm trying to get out the rest of ch. 7 for surge. i'm up to nearly 20 pages. and i've got...oh god, so much left to add. so much angst, so much delicacy it's driving me nuts. I need to read through the first parts (1-6, woo) and get my mind all clicking and get the rest out. yet, while i do that (cuz i've been trying like a mofo to read, write-up, read/check over etc) it's just... weird, ch7. you're so fucking weird....stupid, stubborn Sasuke! Stop being a wuss! argh! this chapter is by far the most difficult, niggling little bastard i've ever attempted to write. One, because i've got to keep them on-track from where i've started them, how they'd react, and not what i think would be fun to write. Two, because it takes such a difficult (emotionally and psycologically) turn i can't quite get the Before-turn to match up and fit After-turn. i know what happens. i know what i want to happen. i know how Sasuke is/should react, and how naruto takes it, and how the select few in story-verse take it as well. i know what the cover-up ABOUT it is, i know the few who will be in on it, i know what happens within the next three, four months when everything gets fucked. i *know* all that. i even *kinda* know what happens afterward, but not..quite what they FEEL about it. it's not gonna be a fluffy, happy ending. i'm not saying if they're in love or not, if they admit it or not, if they even *want* to... and it's...sitting in my notebooks. in my head. argh, stupid brain. someone develop a direct transfer-thingy so i don't have to type it up! tsaiko. tsaaaaikoooo. *sniff*. you might get an early version chapter, and help me out by telling me if it's working. *snifflesparklewhimper*cuz you, like, know already, kinda. kinda (i can't remember if i told you!) if i'm lucky...this chapter will be under 70 pages. if i'm SMART, i'll split it off into ch.7 and epilogue. and, if i'm *really* good this year, Santa will let me get it all done BEFORE i post ch 7 so people can get the last part without waiting another half-a-year. ...and then, as i'm working on ch 7...i must get a one-shot done, and Tsaiko's (lateLATEomgLATE) bday present...wherein Sasuke gets drunk again. XD!!! but bah. off to go home and type. :) 6 comments|post comment

....=_=.... [24 May 2007|08:33am] [ mood | aggravated ] okay. so far, this is what i understand to be happening. Shivvlan had her story stolen by someone named 'bizthex' who posted it under MY name, with a profile containing some of MY stories as well. that... that makes me *furious* to know someone's ripped off not just one person's story, and not even their story, their NAME. who KNOWS what kind of fucked-up crappy writing he's been posting under mine and others' names... ....i *really* want to be able to track this bizthex-shitstain down and rip him a new one. ....and now, aside from finding THAT happy-crappy piece of news, i've got to *prove* that all my stories are mine and that i've not stolen shit. ...i'm somewhat insulted to have someone think that Surge, or Bodyheat isn't my own hard work. 4 comments|post comment

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