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[07 Mar 2003|12:23am] |
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mood |
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music |
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Rammstein - Sonne |
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Even though I'm dead, people are still trying to make withdrawals from my self-esteem account to fill their ego balloons.
Yup, learned that from a Psychology text I found. So this is where all the burned books go... I've got a lot of time on my hands, and everyone keeps calling me stupid, so I think I'll educate myself while I'm down here.
Oh! And Bijou! My poor defenseless hamster is still alive in the warehouse! Could someone go find her (follow the sound of the squeaking wheel) and kill her so she can join me here? The dagger forged from my bones should still be up there somewhere. Ask dumbass where he left it. Of course, if he can't even remember where he left his soul, maybe he's not the best person to ask.
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| DAMMIT! |
[06 Mar 2003|01:13pm] |
Things were going so well, too. I got to mack with the Boss-lady, had cast permanent midnight, and was about to bag my first Slayer, when dumbass ruins it all. He wasn't supposed to know about the dagger! Well, stupid me for leaving it around. I was using it to make a gyro for lunch.
The afterlife isn't that bad. Sure, fire and brimstone and pain and torture, but when you're made of tougher stuff like me, it makes things easier. Plus, they have a Starbucks with an Internet café down here, which is how I'm writing this. I've been spending a lot of time trying to find an ancient magic to take me back up there and make me immortal, but instead I keep finding cute little Wicca sites. Girls are wearing too much black these days. I like a woman with some fashion sense, like Master. Ex-Master.
Oh! AND now she's got a hellspawn in her, and last I heard, was macking with dumbass's dumbass son. I wish horns upon their child, to cause her pain and suffering during the birthing process. ...And they better wish it has his nose.
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| Iiiiit's all your fault, I screeeeeen my phone calls.... |
[22 Feb 2003|07:11pm] |
If I ever meet the mortal who created Caller ID and voicemail, I will torture them a lot less than usual.
I've been a bad beast: I haven't returned The First's calls for a few weeks. If it gets distracted from Sunnydale and comes a'knockin', I should have a good story to tell it...I don't think The First will believe I was washing my hair all those times.
Boss keeps tellin' me I should get a Wireless phone, so she can just call me whenever she has some orders, instead of me coming to her, bringing an offering, etc, etc. It seems like a good investment, but I don't know what I'd pay in roaming charges. Is the Underworld included in my local calling area?
I also wish there were a few trees not on fire - Bijou definitely needs some new cedar chips.
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[21 Feb 2003|02:19am] |
I was told that I could spread my evil much faster through this "internet." I still believe nothing beats an old-fashioned massacre, but I've got to change with the times to keep a job. You get respect (and plenty of chicks) when you get hired for an apocalypse.
And my boss ain't that bad. As bosses run. A little bitchy, but I'm used to that by now. Not the worst I ever had. One time, in the middle ages, I worked for this dude with wings and five heads but only one leg. Good times, good times.
Bijou, my hamster, seems particularly upset today. I think she's hungry. Dammit, I knew I should have done some bulk shopping before unleashing permanent midnight. Live and learn.
Maybe there's a Petsmart still open up there...
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