Current mood:	high
Current music:	high

Ace Two
Last night at poker most of us were smoking delicious kind green herb and it got me so fucking stupid that when I got my cards, I threw in my ante and then actually SAID OUT LOUD the cards that I had in my fucking hand:

ACE TWO

Then, immediately I realized that A) I must be a fucking cripple because in poker, and correct me if I'm wrong here, we generally keep what we have AS A GODDAMN SECRET, and B) holy fucking faggotry, these were some diuretic cards (unsuited) and even though they were literally the best I had all night with the exception of my rolled up aces (which got annhilated by fucking Larry's trip 8s--what a fucking asshole, I want my money back, Larry, I normally don't give money to godless sons of bitches unless they live on 116th), these were some shitty cards and really why the fuck did I even play them. Oh yeah, because I was fucking HIGH.

So then I look around, still completely high, and say OH SHIT, DID ANYONE HEAR THAT? And three people said yes, but were confused why I had said ACE TWO cuz those couldn't possibly be the hand that I had because what kind of fucking asswipe mcdoucherclown says their cards aloud, and I say, BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE CARDS THAT I HAVE TEE HEE HEE. Thereby revealing the fact that A) I'm a fucking asswipe mcdoucheclown and B) I truly have a queer hand and C) the flop comes out and everyone will know what I have. Which, as I've mentioned before, was crap. A stinky, lumpy pile of steaming shit I wouldn't even serve your mother.

So I guess the lesson learned is don't smoke pot ever unless you like being a dickweed.

This weekend I go camping. Yes, camping. So not only am I a fucking cripple, I'm a hippie too. I'm going to Maine. I am told there will be vagina there, mainly mine, and that also there will be kayaking, which is a Native American word that means "extreme physical labor disguised as fun".