| Aug. 1st, 2005 @ 11:55 pm To Judge or not to Judge |
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Boy…I just finished watching a riveting episode of The 4400. It’s a USA Network sci fi television show that has a very interesting premise. Basically, it’s about 4400 people who were taken (kinda like UFO abduction stories) over the course of 50 years and operated on and given abilities. Then, one fine misty morning, they’re sent back in the year 2004 in one place. They haven’t aged a bit from the time they were taken, so it’s an interesting jumble of ethnicities, personalities and predispositions. They gradually make their way into society and try to eke out an existence and the rest of the world tries to get used to them. Needless to say, in many situations, it’s a real bedlam of mess and you really see the real face of humanity rear itself, from the most divinely inspired empathy, to the hate-filled prejudiced of murderous rage and envy.
This week’s episode featured a person who was taken in 1996. He’s a Hutu who was also a pediatrician. When the genocide took place in Rwanda, he was actually a moderate Hutu whose patients were mostly Tutsi. But when the fervor started, he stood by and let his clinic be used by the Hutus, broadcasting it as a safehouse, which gradually turned into a charnelhouse. The episode painted him as a man wracked by guilt for what he had done. And in an honest way, I actually believed it (sure sure, I know it’s fictitious, but in some ways, I’m gifted with the ability to empathize so much so to the point where I can almost feel what it’s like to be put in a situation like that and feel the whole range of emotions that come with the territory). Now it’s supposed to be a fairly straight-forward process. Being an accessory to murder and genocide, he should have been extradited to Rwanda for execution. But, the catch is, he is able to repair genetic mutations and birth defects when the foetus is in the developmental stage in utero. Real time reversal of chromosomal damage. Medical science has not been able to duplicate this feat or even approach it in any real and lasting fashion. Classic catch 22 syndrome. So what do we do? It’s obvious he was sent back with this ability for a reason. In some ways, it could be a reflection of his desire to make amends. Ok, all you moralistic, high-horse, judgemental do-gooders wait. The other catch is that everytime he heals a foetus, he transfers the genetic damage onto himself. He literally becomes an empathy healer, taking someone else’s pain and replacing it with his health. If he keeps this up for a year, he’d be dead from the sheer amount of genetic damage to his own DNA. Peverse sense of humour or symbolic scales of balance? You decide.
What made me so riveted by the scenario was the feelings it brought out in me. Strong feelings of revulsion by what he’d done, sorrow for the people that had to die for his redemption, empathy for the madness and conflict he’s going through (anyone who’s ever done something wrong or was made to feel responsible for some great wrong will know what I’m talking about), equal revulsion for all the baying for his execution, strange silent understanding for the people who were calling for his blood..the people who had lost relatives because of his actions, quiet sense of completion at learning that he paid a price for each healing he performed. It’s not in my nature to be judge, jury and executioner (even though those who have been on the receiving end of my pointed observations may beg to differ…hey, they’re observations, not condemnations…there is a difference…and if you can’t get that difference, then maybe you should go screw yourself anyway…that way you might get your jollies). I don’t condone what he’s done, and I feel for the people hurt by his actions. But there is a reason and a purpose to everything in life. From the most heinous acts to the most beatific grace. When we can’t see the bigger picture, when we’re blinded by rage and supposed self-righteous anger, that’s when we’re most handicapped to see what good can come of things. And that’s the biggest lesson in this scenario. That even though we’re the ones wronged, we’re still not the right people to judge who’s right and who’s wrong simply because we’re too blinded by that same rage and loss to make the right choice to withhold judgement and to surrender it to someone more qualified. Someone who sees the bigger picture. It may trouble you to think that I’m such a fence-sitter. Wrong. I simply pray I have the strength to see my belief through, that in choosing someone more fit to choose the right choice, some good may come out of the whole debacle. Simply put, it’s not about getting my pound of flesh because past hurts and present vengeance (or justice…to me, they are sometimes synonymous…which ain’t a good thing) can never bring you back to health or give you back the vitality you lose when you grieve and stew. It’s about hoping that out of all this bad blood and feuding, some good can come of it to benefit everyone, be it closure or forgiveness.
I know at heart that in a lot of ways, I hold grudges and I hold onto hurts. But I also hold to the hope that I may slowly learn to set aside those grudges and let things play out so that everyone wins. |
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