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Minnesota? [06 Jul 2008|01:12am] [ mood | tired ] Is that still a state? Why is Wyoming still a state? I feel they should merge with ...whatever state is next to them. 1 Bite Bite Me

[19 Jun 2008|01:51am] [ mood | exhausted ] So, the summer just started and so far I have: been stuck in the rain in DC gotten escorted out of the Ritz Carlton walked the streets old town alexandria/dc 4x gotten ripped off by a psychic lost my infamous sunglasses dyed/bleached my hair three times been part of a tag war snuck out of the metro [in two ways] i forgot. in other news. i hate my job. i esp. hate the ppl i work with. the work of lifting 70+ lbs the hours ohh gawwdddd 2 Bites Bite Me

good news! yaay! [14 Jun 2008|01:53am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Katy Perry-"I kissed a girl" ] I passed my Entrepreneurship class! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!! I got a 141 out of 200 on my project! W/o HIS help! [thanks sarah/sandra for helping me with what you can] I did it! And best of all..I got a B in the class! Hollllaarrrrr suck on that. biatch. edit: did I mention I didn't need his help? YEA. and you thought I DID. I did it without you! I'm nooooot some dumb bitch cuntfuck! SUCK IT 2 Bites Bite Me

confession [11 Jun 2008|03:24pm] [ mood | disappointed ] This guy...[my friendexbestfriendexbestfriendcuntfuckwhatever] is allergic to shell fish. I've always wanted to eat some shrimp and then make out with him. mwahaha 1 Bite Bite Me

can i DIE YET? [18 May 2008|12:56pm] [ mood | angry ] UGH. every song reminds me of him. the smell of menthols. this fucking town. panera, bk, and certain stores hondas civics certain movies MSI and the yeah yeah yeahs every-fucking-thing. i can't live here anymore and i can't live. I HATE IT. what's the point of love if your first never DIES 2 Bites Bite Me

"It's 3am..she won't put out..." [09 May 2008|11:33pm] [ music | MSI-"Get it Up" ] I reallly want to just post the lyrics I'm listening to right now..hah..but i'll spare you the ridiculous obsenity. Ohhh. If there was an MSI show every week..I...would be..soo...sooo ..it would just make my week. every week. :D The show last week was good, but the crowd, honestly, horrible. Bitches. Lame. F you Baltimore. FFFFF YOUUUU. Learn to jam! Apparently the show in Norfolk was worse... x[ I'm going to try to make this a less angst post than normal. But I REALLLY want post lyrics. mmsoooo fries in the oveenn. I can't live without PO-TAT-TOOOES. There has to be fries, tater tots, curly fries, SOMETHING in the house at all times. But omgomgomgomgomgomgomg LOOOOOOOOOOOK!! If they stayed babies I'd buy 29,000 of em! I'm seriously considering getting one, but I'm iffy bout it cuz you have to feed it insects ..like..crickets..everyday. And make sure the crickets are feed, too. and...ehh.. But they're sooo cuuuuuttee. and interesting. and AWESOME. Let's DANCE. But none of that grinding nonsense. 5 Bites Bite Me

[03 May 2008|02:17am] [ mood | scared ] [ music | msi -never wanted to dance ] i'm losing the person that means most to me. annnnnnd it's not a nice feeling. to say the least. and my mind goes "here we go againn.." and it's the worst time. Times where i need that comfort. and now you go and steal it away from me. how am i s'pose to stay warm and positive? in a casket? *shudders* Bite Me

[14 Apr 2008|12:26am] [ mood | lonely ] i'm sad. :[ but yet i'm battling the sadness.

oh richmond.. [29 Mar 2008|10:30pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | "Blackbird"-"Across the Universe soundtrack ] how you wear me out.. I feel so accomplished that i finally visited a place ppl talk about/go to and that i've been meaning to visit for a loong time. I would never want to drive there again, though. uhhh. I'm so exhausted. I only stayed for like...half an hour-45 mins. >_> yea. I was trying to beat the night. ANYWHOOOOO...it really reminds me of philly. I didn't explore much though. I wasn't able to get a hold of anyone that lived there. [or anyone in general today. thaaankkks guuys] But now i can at least say i went. I dunno if it's a spot i'd like to live in, though. u_u anywho, i like how the past few posts on my friend's list is all angst and shiz. cuz..i feel the same. and it makes me at ease to know that i'm not the only one that's all '*twitch* ugh!' 2 Bites Bite Me

*twitch* [28 Feb 2008|01:45pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Distillers-"die on a rope" ] my failure of parents are ruining my credit. [along with other things.] last year, i had a doctors appointment. and at that time, i didn't have insurance. [def. did not know this] anyways, my parents refused to pay [didn't know this either] so now i had a collection agency call me. the bill? $349 *dies* can we sayyyy whatabitch? AND...there are more and more medical bills popping up. WTF. If you're not going to pay for me, then don't make me go! Esp. when I DIDN'T HAVE INSURANCE! Are they fucking retar-oh wait..i think we already know the answer to that. If selling crack would get me out of this house and away from them, I would do it. sign me up! 1 Bite Bite Me

[12 Feb 2008|07:00pm] [ music | Drowning Pool-"tear away" ] Notice how it's always a rainy, shitty day on my DAYS OFF. And it's all nice and sunny when I WORK. WTF. bullshit. Soo ho, there's no way in hell I'm going to be able to sign up for more classes this semester. And my parents said if I don't do something about the school situation then they're going to start charging me rent, which means, I'm going to have to take a get-out-of-jail card and pass go. [find a new place] Boooo. I don't want to pay for rent if I'm staying in the area, but I haven't a choice. People have been telling me that right now I have to focus on my home life and get that fixuated [fixed+situated] before I go on battling other problems , since that's what's bringing me down. m000000p. Uhm, I have a rising addiction. With sushi. I need that in my life. all. the. time. oh. my. god. It's just..so good. With the ginger and wasabi. And it's not unhealthy for you! But yet, it breaks your wallet. :[ My boss told me the other day that you don't gain weight from eating chinese food...O_o I..I mean..it makes you constantly hungry, and you keep eating...but..I mean...I dunno. True? I would think the sodium would eventually kill you. But if that's true, I would soooo be eating that eerryday. [not everyday, but 'erryday'] 2 Bites Bite Me

it just gets better and BETTERRRR [06 Feb 2008|04:03pm] [ mood | lonely ] i know you're not s'pose to diagnose yourself. but i'm depressed. it's official. like..disorder type depressed. My mind is basically like a bad acid trip that I can't get out of. Stuck in a mind set that you can't get away from. It's quite horrible, and I wonder if I can change that. I think I can. I basically was better. [It's was amazzing!!] And then shit happened, and I relapsed to a worse place. worse worse. and now i'm stuck here. in this town. waayyy stuck. I think I've realized what I want to do if given a future. Aside from a fashion photographer, I was thinking of *drum roll* a counselor. Like, a substance abuse counselor. ...the ones that help people with addiction and such. But then I found out you might need a masters degree. That's a lot of school for someone who hates school. Speaking of school, the whole situation is fucked up. They messed up my class drop and it disabled me from adding classes. So...I..can't go to school this semester. And I feel like a failure b/c of it. And I know people look at me as one b/c of it, too. I hate it!!! gosh, i'm such a depressing person. 2 Bites Bite Me

hm, well this is odd [22 Jan 2008|02:25pm] [ mood | sick ] I want to go to schoooool ! I want to go and take classes and meet up with friends after class and such. O_______________o;; ..this is all very weird. Me saying this. Esp. since I consider school one of the worst things for me. And that I actually realllllllllllllllllllly hate it. More than anyone-put money on that. Unless I'm on ADD med.s. I think the world is coming to an end... actually, I just want to make it seem like I'm doing something with my life instead of just working a lot. That's why. But..I still feel weird saying that. Bite Me

oh no.. [16 Jan 2008|11:54am] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | The Distillers-"Hall of Mirrors" ] my mom has arrived home and will soon notice I didn't go to school today. and then eventually realize that I dropped out. again. and for good. I finally decided on a college and had decided to study fashion. [not my main interest, but whatev.] The school's in san fransisco, but they also have an online part to it, so I wouldn't necessarily have to move there in order to attend. So, everything was being set, and riiiight when I was about to sign up for classes, my parents decide that they don't. want. me. going. I tried explaining that study online is the same cept it's more independent and they send you assignments online and such. and then I go, "it's not like you're going to let me go to SF to attend anyways!" and they go, "You're not going to SF!" ....well no shit. Did I not just say that?! That's why I'd be taking ONLINE CLASSESSSS. DURRRR x_____x anyways, it would be $1,200 per class or something. annnnnd there no way in hell I can afford that. so...I can't afford college. and. that's that. I can't go. :[ I'm very disapointed, esp. since I was looking forward to getting out of NOVA. soooo noooow I dunno. and signing up for nazi cam-I mean..the military wouldn't be too much help since I wouldn't be able to study any of my interests. damn. there goes my life..oooh weeell OH! But it gets bettterr!! Apparently I had been putting the wrong amount of money in the change drawers at work, and now they're accusing me of stealing b/c of the missing money..when..I never put it in to begin with. ..Oops.. Bite Me

'they know what is what [14 Jan 2008|01:19am] but they don't know what is what they. just. strut. what the fuck' I'm getting impatient for something that I'm not doing anything about. Bite Me

no, the day has sucked. [25 Dec 2007|04:38pm] [ mood | sick ] so, my second half, I guess you can say, has left today. and by left I mean move. I have yet to break down and start bawling. But I know it will happen. And I know it's going to happen many times. and that I'm going to tear apart inside and freak out. It actually makes me feel better when we have talks about our OCD and certain problems, because we understand what we're going through. It feels ...relieving? ..to know that there's someone you know that is suffering right along with you. :] My parents aren't happy with me. not that they ever are, but their "do you want to live here?! Show some respect! we need to talk.." has started up again. I'm trying to find an escape route. If there is one. w my cousins are coming over today, so that should be interestttiingg. I was working today, and we get paid double, annnnddd...I ended up getting realllly sick and had to leave. So...there goes the $133 I could have made today. I'm so pissed.. Mnerph. If I had friends that I always hung out with and talked to, this would be the perfect time to surround myself with them. Keep myself busy and such. But my friends all pretty much dispearsed, so I'm alone. and this is the worst time for that happen. ohmygod. :[ i miss him too much. 1 Bite Bite Me

[19 Dec 2007|07:48pm] [ mood | scared ] I've been very, very emotional lately. I'm losing my appetite. and goodness forbid a day passes where I'm actually sober. I reckon that the end is near. Bite Me

update. [17 Dec 2007|04:41pm] [ mood | depressed ] so much [bull]shit has happened the past weekend. It didn't really involve me, but yet it affected me. I don't want to be too specific cuz I don't think it would be nice to let everyone know about someone else's problems, but-damn. So, the guy that means so much to me is leaving to join nazi campthe military, and it tears me up inside. I wouldn't be taking it so hard if I didn't have this intense fear of being abandoned and alone. But it's kind of what's happening. My former best friend, which I am still friends with, of 12 years is moving to PA. I wish she would stay with me [she was able to, but it was too late of a notice] to keep me company while he was gone. I do not want to stay in this town while everyone else [and yes..2-3 people is everyone else. cuz they're that important] is moving on with their life and doing something. Meanwhile, I'd be staying here going to another semester of community college. I want to find a partner that is willing to move far away from this place and start new. But no one wants to... This makes me want to join the military, too..just cuz. But fuck that. what will I do when my happiness leaves? I'm so fucking scared, cuz I know once they leave, i'm going to fall apart. ..annnd I can't even talk/type this without tearing up. wtf. I know I'm going to feel lost and empty inside. That's why I'm trying to think of a plan that will help me. I need to come up with one fast. please don't leave me..? 1 Bite Bite Me

surrrvaaaayy. ;p [04 Dec 2007|07:00pm] [ mood | giggly ] [ music | Papa roach-"forever" ] A 2007 Survey: 1) Was 2007 a good year for you? uhm..I guess...the good outways the bad in someways 2) What were your favorite moments of the year? summer/spring. 3) What was your least favorite moment of the year? the beginning. and the possibly the end. 4) Where were you when 2007 began? I was driving back to jeff's house, leaving a party. 5) Who were you with? cam and jeff 6) Where will you be when 2007 ends? I don't know. better not be at work. hopefully with my friends 7) Who will you be with when 2007 ends? i want to be with him :[ and with my friends 8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2007? didn't have one, I don't believe 9) Did you hate anyone new in 2007? ohhhhh yeshhh. and we all know who. 10) Did you fall in love in 2007? I..hope not? 11) If yes, with who? n/a 12) If yes, do they know? no 13) Are you still in love with them? UHMMM 14) Do you regret it? I regret falling for someone. 15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2007? he broke up with me. but i have "broken off" ..flings.. haha 16) Did you make any new friends in 2007? you can say that, yesh. 17) Who are your favorite new friends? I was happy with a lot of them for awhile, but the list has lessened. 18) What was your favorite month of 2007? June or July. I think July. 19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2007? nope. :/ 20) How many different states did you travel to in 2007? Does DC count? ..dc, maryland, and philllly. 21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2007? I lost a friend in Jan. :[ 22) Did you miss anybody in the past year? old friends mainly. and my friend that is no longer here. [r.i.p.] 23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2007? hmm...I dunno. Superbad was funny..but..there was another one..and I forgot. x_x 24) What was your favorite song from 2007? I was obsessed with a lot of songs.."Shaken" and "Stripped" from Shiny Toy Guns was my most recent. 25) What was your favorite record from 2007? somewhere along the line of Kill Hannah's new album, Shiny toy guns, [ even though it's not new], annd I forgot cuz my memory is WHACK 26) How many concerts did you see in 2007? a lot of my friends band's shows, some when I worked at Nissan, and only a few others 27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2007? a memory would be helpful in times like these. the Yeah Yeah Yeahs were pretty cool. 28) Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2007? maaaybe.. 29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2007? wouldnt you like to know...;p 30) How many people did you sleep with in 2007? one. 31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? look above. xP 33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2007? pshhh "i think i might love you.." 34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2007? i think not. i try not to 35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2007? don't we know it 36) How much money did you spend in 2007? too fucking much. stupid fucking car 37) What was your proudest moment of 2007? finding a job and sticking with for more than my goal. [blockbuster. i thought i was only going to work there for like..a month.] 38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2007? puking and getting sick after drinking too fast! x_x happened waaay too many times. 39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2007, what would it be? def. the spring/summer. I miss those times soooo fucking badly! I never thought the times I'd end up missing would be anytime after high school. 40) What are your plans for 2008? live lively. try and get over my problems. esp. being borderline. Bite Me

[01 Dec 2007|11:20pm] [ mood | sore ] [ music | Across the universe soundtrack-"While my guitar gently weeps" ] from the movie Across the Universe, the Beatles remake of "while my guitar gently weeps" is soooo addicting to me. But I hate that. Cuz it's so sad. I just love how the guy sings it, though. :/ so, i dunno what's happening with cutting him out of my life situation. It sooooo fucking hard. esp to those times when he says " i miss you." or "i just wanted to see you.." asfhslfhsdlfasfs! well fuck you. you're leaving to the fucking military soon anyways. fuckkk thattt shiitttt. :/ anyways. i'm sick. and I called out of work. second time calling out ever, in any job, i believe. I think the hate for my job is slowly growing. and it's not good. why? b/c I'm sick of job hunting. I don't think i can take it anymore. My car is hanging on by a string. i don't think i'm gonna be able to find a new one in time. booooo. Bite Me

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