Graham's Journal

Everything is the same at it was before. I have written a book and a couple of roleplaying games. I am still with the girlfriend, who is nice. I am training as a life coach, so I can fuck everyone else's life up as well as my own.

Oh, could you support this guy for the LJ Advisory Board thing? He seems nice. He'd be good. Just go there and leave a comment. Do it for me. Thanks.

Hello! I haven't written on here much, but Simon posted about my book on his LJ, so I thought I'd better post too. I hope you're all well and things.

I wrote a book. It's about improvisation as applied to roleplaying games. It's come out really well. Here it is:

So, yes, that's it, really. You could buy it, if you like, through that link. I mention Vampire LARPs quite a bit, if you're into that kind of thing.

(I feel I should say other things, since I haven't talked on here for a while. I'm still living in London, with Liz, and am pretty happy and stuff).

I feel I should say something, but I really have nothing to say.

I'm fine. I hope you're all well.

There was a LARP version of The Shab Al-Hiri Roach there. Did anyone play it or hear anything about it?

I'm writing a setting for that game, you know.

Graham

What American accent do you have?
Created by Xavier on Memegen.net

New York City. You are most definitely from New York City. Not New Jersey, not Connecticut. If you are from Jersey then you can probably get into New York City in 10 minutes or less.

Take this quiz now - it's easy!

One of those recipes that makes you glad to be alive.

1. Take one young Dalek. Carefully remove outer casing. Extract the Dalek itself.
2. Slice Dalek thickly and mince 5 cloves garlic. Marinate overnight in red wine: Daleks are notoriously tough, so a good strong red wine is essential here.
3. Cook the Dalek slices in a very hot pan, using a little olive oil, approximately 3 minutes each side.
4. In the final minute of the cooking, add the marinade and allow it to reduce to a sauce.
5. Serve with couscous or perhaps chips.

Comment with the words "Top Ten" or "Top Five", and I will reply with a subject for which you will generate a top ten (or top five) list. Post the list and instructions in your own journal...

gbsteve asked for a top ten of acting tips to use while gaming.

1. Arrive ready to work: get yourself into the right mental state, so you enjoy yourself. If you're exhausted after work, do whatever you need to do to relax yourself.
2. Sit straight: it'll give your voice more impact.
3. Use your body: don't just act with your voice.
4. Breathe: again, for the voice.
5. Play with your voice: try using accents or putting a sob in your voice.
6. Speak slowly: or, at least, don't rush. If you take your time over words, it'll give them more impact.
7. Listen to the other players: most good acting is reacting.
8. Be generous: let other players have their moment in the spotlight and make them look good.
9. Don't show how your character feels, just be the character: if you're playing an angry character, don't do 'angry acting' (raising your voice, screwing up your face). Just be the character, think about what's making you angry and be angry about it.
10. Forget all the above: if you concentrate on any of those tips, they'll get in the way, so just keep them in the back of your mind.

Oh, hey, if you're bored with the careers stuff, leave a comment, and I'll create a filter or something. I don't necessarily need to spam the world with my life.

At the weekend, I went to One Life Live, a career change exhibition. There was much bullshit floating about: life coach after life coach. But the life coaches did short, demonstration interviews, so I took advantage.

The first was a woman called Julia. The interview was only 15 minutes, so it was basically an opportunity for me to vent on various subjects, without reaching a conclusion. She suggested I look into web design and we had a brief conversion about web programming vs web design.

The second was Susan, from C2, who are basically the University of London Careers Service. This interview was half an hour. It was extremely useful: it clarified my dislike of 9 to 5 jobs and working with tossers. Susan suggested a portfolio of various part-time things, which appealed: it's pretty much what I'm doing at the moment. Oh, and she also suggested business training, but we didn't explore that much.

The third was Sonya. She was OK, but we didn't cover much new ground.

The fourth was some God-awful NLP woman.

It was rather useful, really. Julia is phoning me tomorrow for a follow-up.

I miss technical work. As you might know, I have a website, and I enjoy programming it a great deal.

Last summer, when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up and program in PHP. This is a pretty good sign that it's something I enjoy doing.

Now, having said that, there's lot of things I didn't enjoy about being a programmer. Sitting in cubicles, for example. But the work itself was good.

Channel 4's Dispatches last night was called "The NHS: Where has all the money gone?". Or something similar.

It was a nasty little programme. Instead of attempting to research facts or present ideas, it was Daily Mail-style journalism: it told you what to think, to save you the trouble.

So, for example, one of the interviewees (who we weren't meant to like) was lit, harshly, from the side, making her look weird. The doctors (who we were meant to like) were allowed to explain their case. Other people (who we weren't meant to like) were interrupted as they were interviewed: and I've got no problem with interruptions, per se, as long as they elicit more information, but this was just rude.

There were phrases like "So, has New Labour delivered this brave new world where everyone's happy...?": but how could they make everyone happy? And "After the break, the Secretary of State tries to explain...": so we're told, in advance, that her explanation is nonsense.

It's a shame, because there are things wrong in the NHS, but it needs decent journalism to bring them out. Not hyperbole, presented by a twat. Dispatches has gone downhill.

There are basically three things I am good at.

1. Technical stuff. I am broadly good at Technical Stuff: whether that means statistics, physics or computers. If it hurts your brain, I like it, and have an aptitude for it.

2. Meeting people. I am good at being glossy and professional with people for short periods of time: for example, meeting clients on acting jobs. I am not good with people in the sense that, say, nurses are good with people. People for long periods of time drive me mad. But, for short periods of time, it's great.

3. Being anarchic and creative. Writing roleplaying games about Gay Recruitment Squads; writing sitcoms; writing random comedy things.

Note how Boxes 1 and 2 suggest careers with money in them. Box 3 suggests careers with no money in them. The Holy Grail is jobs which tick more than one box: IT Consultant, for example, ticks Boxes 1 and 2. Actually, on second thoughts, perhaps the Holy Grail is any stable career that ticks Box 3.

Do feel free to suggest careers based on those boxes. The more random, the better.

Conception was a wonderful little convention: on the south coast, in a holiday village. Wary of sharing a chalet with strangers, I drove back and forth from Reading to attend.

I arrived on Friday at 11am. The first batch of games had already started, so I wandered about, bored. To ensure I wasn’t bored all afternoon, I signed in one of the few available slots of the next batch. It was for a game called Unknown Armies, about which I knew nothing: I assumed it was minature wargaming.

Just before this next batch of games, I had a word with Andrew, on the Collective Endeavour stall. Another bloke, Scott, was standing by him. Secretly, I was hoping Andrew would run a playtest or something to get me out of my afternoon of minature wargaming. The conversation went like this:

The Unknown Armies game turned out to be fantastic, my best game of the convention. The Unknown Armies system itself was fascinating; the game was a very British horror, starting with two couples at a barbecue and getting progressively more twisted. It was very clever, very subtle, and I won’t spoil the details in case you play it one day.

Disconcertingly, the other roleplayers showed a LARP-esque tendency to walk round and act out conversations. Once I got used to it, it was rather wonderful. We even ran a conversation on which I eavesdropped, by actually eavesdropping through a half-open door.

After that game, back to the main hall, and Andrew ran through a demo of Covenant. The game looked great, with many mechanics ripe for stealing, but the demo fell a little flat for me. I ran Andrew through a quick game of The Gay Recruitment Squad Wants YOU!, feeling very nervous. It ran smoothly: with only two people, it didn’t really take off, but neither did it grind to a halt.
In the evening, I’d signed up for a Cthulhu game. Our table was in the centre of the main hall, with a loud table behind us. You needed to shout to be heard and you couldn’t hear the players at the other end of the table. Awful. It did my head in and, by ten o’clock, I had a headache.

The player next to me was young, perhaps a teenager. His character was gay and he made homophobic jokes: for example, “I can’t fight, I’m gay!”. I was on the cusp of making a middle-class complaint - “You know, I actually find that offensive” - but, just in time, remembered my game was called The Gay Recruitment Squad Wants YOU!. I didn’t think I could explain the difference between actual homophobia and ironic homophobia convincingly.
The Cthulhu scenario itself was ingenious: a modern day thing about Schrodinger’s Cat. I’d probably have enjoyed it if I could have heard it.

Then a two hour drive home, through the New Forest in the pitch dark. And up again at six to drive back, through the New Forest on a frosty morning.

We’d agreed, on Saturday morning, to playtest games. We started with Andrew’s game Six Bullets For Vengeance, a game about vengeance told in reverse. It’s Kill Bill meets Memento: you start with the last scene, in which the master boss dies; then the previous scene, in which the fifth boss dies; and you work your way back. It was a fascinating game, and a useful playtest, with lots of currency issues getting sorted out as the game progressed.

Then The Gay Recruitment Squad Wants YOU!, with five players, including me. God, I was so nervous. But it went superbly: the players regularly worked themselves into hysterical laughter. Part of the game involves call-and-response chants, so we were loud, and drew attention from everyone else in the hall. People would hang about the table to see what all the fuss was about. Anyway, a great reaction from the players, and a useful playtest which ironed out some rules quirks.
I was late for Traveller, in the afternoon. The game was great: I’ve never played it before. By now, I was dog tired, but I enjoyed myself.

In the evening session, there were slots available for two games I’d have loved to play: a Blake’s Seven game and Darren Sims’ Serenity/HeroQuest game. But I was exhausted and went home.

I'm revising my opinion of Morrison's. At first, I'd thought they were a purveyor of cheap tat. But their Rioja is rather nice. And, also, they were the only supermarket who had chestnuts two days before Christmas.

Life is unusual but enjoyable. I'm now living, incredibly cheaply, in NHS accommodation in Muswell Hill. It's a single room, with shared shower, in a wonderfully beautiful area of London.

Of course, there's no computer or anything, and this means that, when I'm in Muswell Hill, I read a lot and take baths. It's very relaxing. I sleep very well.

Much of the time, though, I spend at the girlfriend's. And that's nice too. Tonight, we cooked steak with red wine and onions, and it really doesn't get better than that.

The acting and the job is getting dull. I'm wondering what else to do with my life, apart from play Attack Of The Graske.

The Gay Recruitment Squad wants YOU! has developed a board. It’s not entirely a board game: it’s a strange sort of roleplaying-board hybrid.

I’m down to playtest it at a couple of conventions: one in Bournemouth at the start of February and one in Edinburgh in…March, I think? Let’s see how it goes.

1. What was your favourite subject at school?
Physics

2. Who is the most famous person that you have ever met?
Harry Hill or Cat Stevens. Take your pick.

3. What do you have in your bag?
A change of clothes and the brief for my job tomorrow.

4. Who did you get your LJ invite code from?
Alan.

5. What was the name of your first teacher?
Not sure.

6. What was the first single you ever bought?
Paul McCartney: The Frog Chorus.

7. Can you dance?
Yes.

8. Have you ever been in a band?
No.

9. Who is the noisiest person you know?
I keep away from noisy people.

10. Who was the last person you defriended?

boztopia

11. What is your favourite word today?
Effected

12. Who was the first person you ever friended?
Alan

13. What were you wearing yesterday?
The jumper Liz bought my for Christmas. Old jeans. A beard.

14. What is your favourite perfume?
I don't wear perfume.

15. What is your favourite NIN song?
What?

16. Have you any allergies?
No, but I'm very sensitive to caffeine

17. What is your favourite band?
Over time, probably the Pet Shop Boys.

18. If you could go back in time - which period would you go back to?
Victorian. But I wouldn't stay long.

19. How do you get on with your ex?
She asked me if I died in the London bombings. I said no.

20. Describe yourself in five words.
Right. Five words. Let's see.

21. What is your favourite pub?
Right now, the Oakland Arms in Seven Sisters. It's just a nice little local pub.

22. Who did you last kiss?
Liz.

23. Describe the person you got this questionnaire from in five words.
Interesting, downbeat, hairy, civil, servant.

24. What is your favourite poem?
Green Eggs And Ham.

25. What was the last thing you said on Instant Messenger?
Good night!

26. Quote a film.
The first one that comes to mind is "I didn't know there was a pool down there."

27. What are you really excited about right now?
Gay Recruitment Squads.

28. Write a line of bad goth poetry.
No.

29. Bill Bailey or Dylan Moran?
Oh, interesting. Basically, Bill Bailey, but then I saw him live once and he was crap. But still Bill Bailey.

30. What was your worst ever job?
Transcribing car numbers from people who stood by the roadside reading car numbers into a dictaphone.

31. What is your favourite tube station?
London Victoria

32. Name your favourite Sisters Of Mercy song.
No.

33. What was the last thing you bought at Lush?
"Cosmetic Lad"

34. What is your most embarrassing nickname?
Dougal

35. What is your favourite smell?
Coffee.

36. What is your favourite book?
Mr Bump.

37. What do you order at Wagamama?
That nice thing with chicken and noodles.

38. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Casino Royale. Hooray!

39. Do you dye your hair?
No.

40. Have you ever been proposed to?
No.

41. Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
Urrrgh.

42. Write something in Latin.
Altissima quaeque flumina minimo labae. I'm sure some of that's wrong.

43. What is your favourite drink.
Wine.

44. Who is the funniest person on your friends list?
None. They are all dull.

45. What country do you come from?
England.

46. Who was the last LJ user that you met for the first time?
Oh, well, I met them before I talked to them on IM. So Alan again.

47. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A magician.

48. Open the nearest book and write the first line that catches your eye.
What factors are relevant in determining reasonableness? Section 11 (4) states two factors

49. What track is playing on itunes right now.
I've no idea.

50. Describe your default user icon.
A little red devil, who looks quite childish.

On Wednesday, ill, I watched the launch of Celebrity Big Brother. It was fun, as all the launch shows are. And it looked like a particularly nice bunch of people: Ken Russell, Dirk Benedict, Jo from S Club 7. Generally nice people who you'd like to watch.

And I watched it happily for a couple of days. It was lovely, like the first Big Brother series: no gimmicks, no loudmouths, just watching people getting to know each other, forming groups, etc, etc. Fascinating stuff.

Then, on Friday, they screwed the whole thing up by putting bloody Jade Goody in there. She's a useless, deluded, irritating moron. With her family. Who are nearly as bad. I don't know what irritates me more: Jade Goody or the perception that irritating arseholes are good for ratings.

And, within 48 hours, two of the most interesting people had walked out: Donny Tourette, a punk, and Ken Russell, a 79-year-old film director.

What a shame.

One is Heist, a light, easy crime game, designed to be played in a pub. Think Ocean’s Eleven or the Italian Job.

The other is The Gay Recruitment Squad Wants YOU!, which will need explaining.

Gay Recruitment Squad is set in a world where all the gay and straight stereotypes are true: gay men like interior design, straight men like football and wearing a pink shirt turns you gay. And, of course, straight men can be recruited to the gay cause.

And that’s where you come in. You’re the Gay Recruitment Squad: crack agents, sent to turn straight men. You infiltrate straight territory. You avoid hostile straights. And you always get your man.

I’ve started to talk about this on game design forums. Inevitably, there’s a bit of hostility: only a bit, but it’s there. There’s a suggestion (completely understandably) that it’s homophobic.

It’s really not. What I’m trying to do is to take urban myths - for example, that gay people recruit - and parody them. They’re so ridiculous, really, that parody’s the only option. You couldn’t satirise it. It’s not serious enough.

It’s going well. Although it’s almost turning into a board game. And it has custom cards, with stars and bombs. But it’s fun.

1. La Bota, Crouch End. A friendly tapas restaurant that’s usually crowded. On Saturday, expect to be elbow-distance from the couple sitting next to you. The food is superb and cheap, with specials that change seasonally, and the house wine’s great.
2. Costakis Anamnesis, Finsbury Park. A tiny little Greek place, which often contains many Greeks: good sign. The mezze is superb and consists of anything the chef thinks is good that day. Huge amounts of food, low prices, good house red and friendly service.
3. Pick More Daisies, Crouch End. Pick More Daisies advertises itself as a Californian restaurant: so expect very fresh ingredients and everything home-made. The burgers are excellent: try the goats cheese-stuffed one, which will be served in unleavened bread. The desserts are superb too, especially anything involving chocolate. Don’t always trust the waiter’s recommendations: we were recommended an expensive chilled red wine, that tasted like a bottle of Sainsbury’s red from the fridge.
4. Satay Malaysia, Crouch End. A friendly Malaysian place. Does exactly what it says on the tin: great cheap food and friendly service.
5. The Curry Leaf, Turnpike Lane. Probably my favourite curry house in the world. It’s Sri Lankan. I especially recommend the Sunday buffet, which includes sweetmeats and the hottest, most wonderful caramelised chicken I’ve ever tasted. They deliver and, once, even delivered to Walthamstow, under persuasion.