My drive with Meredith to the beach this morning turned up some lively conversation, laughter and music. We talked about Politics, philosophy, photography, horses (and fainting goats), relationships and education. Tomorrow on the way back I'll stop in Raleigh and see Kathleen while she babysits her niece and nephew at her sister's house. I'm missing Marty and even thought we had an incredibly awesome day together on Thursday, I continue to feel that something lies unsettled between us. Kayla is cool and excited about the baby. Work sucks but there is a chance that my gripe with the Wesley Long ICU unit will be alleviated in a few weeks as there is a possible opportunity for a day position opening at Women's. Yay. Fingers crossed. It was great to see mom and dad after such a long time, and to see the thoughtful notes my dad leaves for mom and the small gestures he makes to show he cares. It's nice. We had a wonderful time hanging out and enjoying each others company ... I also took some pictures of the girls down at the beach. The weather is gorgeous and tonight my heart felt full as I tried to take in all the beauty of the moon-sliver - and the darkness of the sky. Life is, beyond measure, sweet.
Boyfriend-Head bought a kayak and we took the boats to Salem Lake this past weekend and paddled around for a few hours. I had some extra paddles, which came in handy, given their immense size. I never knew x-large paddles could serve so many purposes ... depth-finders (his invention), handheld wind sails, sunlight reflector beacons, lake bottom dive search alternative ... the possibilities are endless!
Too funny!
Anyway - jujitsu tomorrow and I HAVE to get my car inspected. And what about taxes? Remember tax time last year? OMG - give me strength.
Meredith is loving her new horse, Dillon. I'm going to try to make it to the barn tomorrow afternoon to go on a trail ride with her and Cristin. Hopefully I can get a picture posted here soon ... he's a pretty boy.
6 and 1 huh? *smile* What about 6 and 1/2 ...
I'm feeling: so content I'm listening to: honorary title
Alison is here beside me dissing Columbo, spoiling the dog with attention and talking about her roommate situation. I miss having her around all the time. I went to a new dojo tonight and everyone there was really friendly. I'm going to be taking private lessons for a few months so I can get back into the sport quickly. Unlike my old dojo, competition opportunities are more possible in this network - I'm really psyched. I've been practicing (almost daily) the french horn Marty bought for me. It's sublime. Now all I need is a bi-weekly poker night and I'll be in heaven. Marty bought a new kayak today so we're ready to paddle! Life is completely great. But at the heart of it all - a new boyfriend who opens my world to emotions and things I've not yet experienced. He constantly and freely presents me with reassurance, support, playfulness, honesty, and dreams of a future together. But in his analytical attempt at perfection, he dwells on little emotional nuances - spawning "little earthquakes" which shake things up a bit. I feel such a strong foundation with him and my time with him is so valuable. I love the way my mind, body and soul respond to his words and touch. But our relationship is like a snow globe. As soon as that white stuff all settles down to the bottom of the glass - and the water becomes crystal clear, he shakes it up ... again. It's still beautiful shaken up ... the white stuff is gorgeous ... but let it settle just a bit and let's use the time to just be. Just be good together. Just be ourselves. Just be happy.
I'm feeling: peaceful I'm listening to: The Avett Brothers
A few times in a lifetime, if you're very lucky, someone will come along who knows how to open the windows, boxes, doors, rooms to your soul and frees you in a ways you have longed, for so long. If you're smart, you've reserved these soulful parts of yourself for someone special - someone who will take good care of them - share in your passions as you do his - someone who is your best friend. I can't believe I've found him. I stand in complete awe at the depth of our connection and how "at home" my heart feels with him.
After confirming the depth of my brilliance it was time to move on to the next endeavor. I've gone from working nights in an environment I adored to working days in an environment I can barely stand - neither makes me very pleasant to be around. I really have to get back into doing what I love - playing horn and making more time for jujitsu - maybe then I'll have more outlets and won't feel so stagnant at work. I miss autonomy and the ability to make decisions that effect production and policy .... I don't want to end up just another robot for Cone. I grew up expecting more.
Anyway - enough bitching. It's a gorgeous day and I have a lot to be thankful for. The girls are in Charlotte shopping and Marty is on the road for work - I'm cleaning and watching the new bird-feeder. It's a smashing hit. An overnight success. At one time, I looked up, and there were four different kinds of birds on the feeder at the same time. I just put it up the other day and I've already had to fill it twice. As I've always said ... it's the little things.
My NC State superstar daughter is home and just handed me a letter stating that she's to be listed on the Dean's list. I am basking in the glory that my genes are partly to thank. She doesn't seem to grasp this concept - and shunned me when I shouted "I so rock!". Kids ... where's the gratitude?!
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sleepy
refreshed
so content
peaceful
loved
insatiable
dreamy