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Entry tags:	defeating commander jonathan johnson, original

Defeating Commander Jonathan Johnson, Mission Six

Author: Mushroom
Rating: PG-13 (OMFG is it true?!)
Summary: Dave Austin is interrogated.
Notes: Many thanks to chastity_rowan for the help with all the geeky stuff. Dedicated to luinthoniel. Disclaimer: All geeky stuff, ideas and quotes were spawned by other greater people than moi.

First chapter with only two sections XD Bit serious here. (YEAH RIGHT, STILL CRACK) Don’t worry, I’ll bring in the fun next chapter XD




Here's my gift to the wonderful aki_yuki XD Sorry my drawing sucks.
Featuring Dave Austin, Colin Gulliver, and a very flirty Mrs. Austin (HUWAAAT~?!)


MISSION SIX: FACE THE FUTURE


“I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one who has to walk through it.” – Morpheous, The Matrix



The student counselor’s office was fairly neat and homey. The wallpaper consisted of cream-colored tones, followed by the white paint on the window sills and wooden furniture. There was a flower pot on her formal desk, and the blooms were colorful and vibrant. The room made you think of Victorian cottages and warm hearths.

Yet beneath the sweetness was a place of unimaginable torture.

The student counselor was utterly engrossed in tackling teenage activities and dilemmas as if it was her life’s purpose. She thought that adolescent teenager’s minds were the most intricate, most mysterious, most fascinating of psyches to behold, and so she often hung out with young students and eavesdropped on their conversations. Details of her interviews with fellow students were ambiguous and scary…once you are asked to accompany her in her office, there is no escape. She shall offer you a lovely batch of cookies that can manipulate the mind, and once you feel woozy a flurry of personal questions shall be hurled at you, and you end up blurting out your most private of secrets to her. Those secrets she kept in a folder that held great power, and when a time comes wherein you have done something wrong, she can pull it out and reveal all, much to your horror.

That was why Dave Austin felt perspiration on his back, moistening his green shirt and giving him the image of a drenched rat. It was inevitable for the counselor to be highly intrigued by his and Colin’s relationship; like the gossip said, it was juicy stuff. He knocked softly on the great oak door, and heard a gentle “Come in.”

I am doomed. I shall never hear the sound of Colin’ beautiful laughter. I shall never see his face again. I shall never—

“Please be seated, Mr. Austin.” The counselor cooed, gesturing to the comfy armchair.
Dave hesitantly took a seat and continued his brain rant.

“Uhhhmmm…Dave Austin, right? Just that?” She wrinkled her nose. “David, maybe?”

“No.” He said abruptly. My parents were never creative. The counselor searched for files in her steel cabinet, frowned, and closed it, her hunt unsuccessful. It seemed like she had no files of freshman Dave Austin, or he probably seemed unimportant that she misplaced it or something. Instead, she pulled out a pad of paper from her desk drawer and cleared her throat. “You might be wondering why you are here this afternoon. Well, you perfectly know that you have become unnaturally popular in this university. Your fame has reached other classes and faculties like an unstoppable wave, and it has captured my interest. You sure Gulliver is okay with this? You two might think that I’m barging in on your relation—“

So that’s why. Bullshit. “Oh, it’s fine with Colin.” Dave muttered. All of a sudden the counselor perked up and started writing furiously on her paper, muttering: “Calls…him…by…first…name…”

Dave groaned inwardly at his blunder. Even if close friends, nobody called each other by first name; it was more ‘proper’ that way.

“Oh yes, I nearly forgot. Care to have some cookies, Austin? I baked them myself.” She extended a plate of light-chestnut cookies, and Dave looked at them hungrily and stopped himself before he succumbed to their power.

“No thanks, ma’am.”

“Take some, you look famished. In fact, why don’t you bring some home for Mr. Gulliver, too? He’d like a present.” She slid the cookies inside a box. Dave averted his eyes, and yet his hands slowly took the box and kept it under his wing.

“Have any hobbies, Mr. Austin?” The interrogator tapped her cork board and smiled, her pudgy mouth reaching all corners. Dave squirmed in his seat.

Hobbies?

…What the?

He thought hard. As in really, really hard. I love eating Mom’s curry. I love visiting Mom. I uhhh…make space stations. Right. Out of cardboard. I stalk Colin on a daily basis. I buy Dvds. But I don’t watch them because they’re not for me, they’re for Colin. I’m the leader of a queer gang. And uhhh…I collect hockey sticks. Yes!

“I collect hockey sticks.” Dave said proudly, very pleased with his answer.

“So you play hockey?”

He paled. “Maybe. I mean—sure I do.” God I’m such a loser.

The counselor gave him a weird look, opted to ask if he had any more hobbies, but the nervous smile in his face meant that he had none. “Mr. Austin, I really want to know more about you, so…” She said suddenly in business-like tones, “…can you describe Colin Gulliver?”

He made a squeaky noise, and quickly stuffed a cookie in his mouth to hide his surprise. After he chewed and gulped, the counselor repeated her question.

“Well…Colin’s a nice guy. We’ve been best friends for years. He likes comic books and cartoons. He likes red because it’s the color of Darth Vader’s light saber,” He’s so freaking cute, he’s just so amazing… “…and he’s a really smart and caring person, too. I mean, he likes to be friends with everyone.”

The counselor looked disappointed, then thought of something. “Is that so? Don’t you find your best friend quite…odd? Eccentric? Extraordinary? Weird? Alien?”

YOU BITCH! “No.” He growled lowly.

“Of course you don’t. But his interests are so…uncanny for a man his age. And I’ve observed that you don’t agree with his likes, either. Is he forcing you to do things you don’t want? Are you just playing along—“

“I’M NOT!” Dave stood up with clenched fists, eyes flaring. “DON’T YOU DARE SAY THOSE THINGS ABOUT COLIN!!! Colin’s important to me, so I’m definitely not faking myself when I’m with him, DO YOU HEAR?!”

His ears buzzed, like mad laughter. The counselor looked smug.

“So he is important to you? Have another cookie, Austin, you really look famished. That’s alright then, if your actions are out of free will. How about Gulliver? What does he do in return, in gratitude?”

Dave faltered. “H-he…he…smiles at me.”

“After everything you’ve done, he just smiles back? That’s how he shows his appreciation?”

“…Yes. Oh, he says thanks too. And he jumps and looks really happy.” He felt stupid.

She tapped her chin, and started scribbling again, in a thoughtful mood. “How do you feel when you’re with him?”

“Happy, too.” Now he was really an idiot. He can’t stop his mouth from saying such childish things, so he ate another cookie. It was like being pulled by a great Force.

“Nothing else? Maybe there’s a space, something lacking?”

“Empty.”

“What?” She looked up. “You want another batch of cookies?”

“No.” He murmured. “Empty.”

And her hands gripped the pen and wrote tirelessly, the words of Dave Austin an echo in every stroke.

Damn it, I can’t seem to stop talking, she’s like my mother—

“How’s school, Austin? I heard that you’ve been part of this big social group. You really belong there, huh?”

“In more ways than one.” Dave answered.

“Why isn’t Colin Gulliver included?”

Dave’s heart beat faster. “H-he’s too busy.”

“You should invite him, since you’re the leader. Don’t you like to be with him? You always do stuff together. Or maybe he’s too busy to spend time with you? That’s right, he probably can’t fit you in his extremely tight schedule—“

“GOD, we practically LIVE TOGETHER, we even SLEEP TOGETHER, how can you say that when we see each other EVERYDAY?!” His breathless statement was met by raised eyebrows, and he realized his mistake. “N-no, I didn’t mean that we sleep…s-sleep…”

It was too late. The counselor jotted it down on paper, and in her face was a radiant grin. “It’s alright then, if you live together. No worries about quarrels and everything. But I do wonder…why he isn’t in your club…” She clucked, and continued. “I’m going to mention several words, Austin, and you tell me the first thing on your mind immediately. You have to speak in less than a second, and your eyes should not blink upon answering. I’ll observe closely. Are you ready?”

Swimming in Dave Austin’s mind were thoughts of Colin waiting for him in their dorm, looking lost and lonely, as he conversed with a sneaky woman with a mouth as wide as a running river…

“Red.”

“Colin.”

She looked at him suspiciously. “So fast, huh.”

“It’s only natural ma’am, since red is his favorite color.” And because you’re forcing me to think of him…

“Right. Silver, then?”

Sparkly silver suit with a crotch padding “…Me.”

“Freckles.”

Abundant in cheeks, curves, beneath the sleeves “C-Colin.”

She looked amused at their little game. “Wall.”

Was I, before? “Me, definitely me.”

“Dreams.”

“Legolas.”

“Legolas?” she roared in laughter afterwards, and there was an earthquake again.

“Colin has a Legolas pillow. After I dream, I wake up and it’s the first thing I see.” Dave explained, and the counselor nodded knowingly.

“Penis.”

Dave’s eyes bulged out of their sockets. WHAT THE?! FUCK STOP— “C-Colin!” He gasped.

“Pfffft!” She roared once more, knocking over a few pencils and staplers.

“Wait, listen! We were talking about penises, penes, peniseses, oh shit whatever, in our health class! Colin’s my classmate there!!!”

The laughter died down, but Dave knew he would forever be a pervert in the student counselor’s gaze. “Death.”

“Dad.”

She blinked. “Don’t tell me you wish him dead.”

“No, he’s dead. Already. And I won’t, never.”

“Oh, of course. Anyway…glass?”

A glass. Transparent and… “Empty.”

“Sink.”

“Boxers.” After a suggestive pause, Dave defended himself blushingly, “Well, Colin and I tried to fix the sink last week, but we ended up flooding the whole place. He tied the leak with one of my boxers. We went to the store and bought new pairs afterwards.” He wondered why he had to explain the whole thing to her, anyway.

“Gulliver again. Rain?”

“Chest.” It was raining, and his chest was heaving up and down, tired and asleep.

“Mcdonalds.”

“Colin’s buzz lightyear toy.”

“Beat.”

“Heart.” He ate his twelfth pastry, feeling dizzy.

“Sex.”

Suspenders…sliding down… “C-Co--CO—Course. I-Inter-course. Intercourse.”

The counselor was grinning widely now. “Love.”

There was no stopping now. The cookies were in its full effect.

“Colin.”

“Colin?”

“Dave.” He bit another piece.

“Then?”

“Colin and Dave. Dave and Colin.” That sounds right.

“Colin loves…?”

Silence.

He knew the answer.

“Spandex.”


***


“Our enemy is ready, his full strength gathered.” – Gandalf



When one emerges from the hellish counselor’s office, the student looks disheveled and raped. That person often ends up in the infirmary with a hounding migraine.

When Dave came out, he still looked normal and healthy. He blended with the wall yet again, careful to keep his head bowed, but people still noticed him and giggled. Their gazes bore through his skin, and it felt like being poked with pointy sticks. His teeth had cookie crumbs in between. His personality wasn’t something Dave thought of before, in fact even his thoughts weren’t something he thought of before, but now he realized he hasn’t been listening to himself.

The Tree looked like Dave Austin, with green leaves and a brown trunk. If you look closely, unblinkingly, with pure—perhaps untouched—eyes, you’ll find out he is hollow.



***

“I prefer to accept your adoration from afar.” – Rikka in Chainfire



Colin ambushed Dave from the doorway with an extremely worried look, his clench fierce on the other’s arm. “Did she rape you? I heard that she rapes kids from your friend a while ago—“

I’ll kill him tomorrow. “Errr no, but I do feel like my head’s been touched. You should stop believing other people so easily, you’re already in College. Anyway…you look upset.” His eyes scanned the messy comic books on the floor. This sight was unusual because Colin treated his comics like they were his best friends (“Of course, you’re my ultimate crewmate, Austin!” he once said).

Colin hastily stacked the volumes on his desk and sat on Dave’s bed, looking glum. Dave sighed and sat beside him, clapping him on the back. “What’s wrong?”

“The Princess of Jamalia died.” He muttered.

Dave frowned. “He-ey, didn’t you say before that you wanted her to die? Because she was Commander Whatsit’s love interest?”

“I KNOW I did, but when it happened…I realized I acted dumb. I don’t like death. I hate death. I shouldn’t wish it on anyone, anybody…” And the redhead sighed, resting his chin on his palms. “She was betrayed by her own clan.”

“The Jamalia people?”

He nodded. “They turned their back against her, and locked her in an Antivita chamber, where she slowly died due to toxic air.”

“You shouldn’t be too anxious, she’s only a—“ …Character.

Dave almost forgot. Cartoon and comic book characters were true and existent for Colin Gulliver, primarily because most of them were better than the so-called real people (and even the villains had reasons for their wickedness, like tragic pasts and kept spite). He’d rather interact with furry creatures and highschoolers with magic powers, than put up with all the taunting and the bullying from the society.

‘The Liberation Frontier of Showers’ was the ideal world for Colin. That was why he was so affected by every new edition.

“Something nice happened, though. Commander Jonathan Johnson and his Crompay Alpha AMP fleet came too late, but he was able to have a good talk with the princess. He’s really super awesome, Dave, my admiration for him heightened again. She told him that even if he is considered or—“

Dave stopped listening for the first time. Colin rattled on, eyes filled with emotion, and the other wanted to grab his hockey sticks and prove himself. “Oh yeah, would you like some cookies?” He asked. Colin bit into a piece, stared blankly, then smiled at him.

“I’m so happy you’re with me tonight. I acknowledge your presence, young soldier.” He said strangely.

The other smiled back. They finished the whole batch, while telling each other what happened while they were separated, minus a few major details.




MISSION FAILED.


***


TO BE CONTINUED.