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defeating commander jonathan johnson, original

Defeating Commander Jonathan Johnson, Mission Three

Author: Mushroom
Rating: PG-13 (OMFG is it true?!)
Summary: While a mysterious shadow lurks over the Fortress, Dave Austin brings out his super reargear and heads off to save the O-PMJ-D, the ultimate power source and only chance of survival. However, his every move is being watched by the Congregatio…
Notes: Many thanks to chastity_rowan for the help with all the geeky stuff. Dedicated to luinthoniel. Disclaimer: All geeky stuff, ideas and quotes were spawned by other greater (and more famous) people than moi.

Again, the summary has a secret code. If you manage to crack it (it’s quite easy) then woopee~!

Mission One, Mission Two.



MISSION THREE: PREPARE FOR INVASION


“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.” – Strother Martin, Cool Hand Luke

***

Heart broken wasn’t even the correct word for it. His heart disintegrated into a mass of dead cells, and there was no room for rejuvenation.

He’s better off with his…Commander.

Dave Austin and Colin Gulliver arrived at the room they shared a few hours later. There used to be four people residing in the dorm room with two bunk beds but the other two couldn’t stand the harmony of Colin and Dave’s synchronized snores, so they immediately left to find better roommates. Colin was ecstatic because he was able dump all his comic books and CDs on the abandoned beds, while Dave was troubled because he needed to control himself from ravishing Colin in the middle of the night. It was outright chaotic; being armed with the knowledge that the boy of his wet dreams was a few inches away from his bunk bed. Being alone with him was making things much, much worse…but it felt much, much better…

The room was in a messed state; as expected, Colin tripped over a bunch of pillows lying on the doorway and his face bumped the bed post with a loud thwack. In his hurry to rescue his beloved Dave tripped as well, and both clumsy men fell on the mattress with a few low gasps and several curses.

“Oh gee, I can’t feel my forehead. And my eyeglasses…so this is what death from falling down the Kronus abyss feels like.”

Dave took off Colin’s glasses and adjusted the arms a little. The sight of Colin without them made torpedoes go ballistic in his stomach, so he immediately returned the glasses, fingers brushing orange hair and lingering for a while before he pulled back. “Don’t go dying too soon. There…that should do, huh?”

Colin smiled. “I should get contacts, but my eyes are similar to those of the Kaldop aliens….their blue eyes can turn their enemies into ice. I want…that kind of power.”

They lay still. Colin’s ankle was twisted in a weird way so he propped his legs over Dave’s. They lay there in perfect silence.

“What are you thinking of?” The redhead asked the other a few seconds later, when their breathing was in rhythm.

“You.” It was better to be honest, sometimes.

“What I said earlier, huh? You must really think I’m weird…oh wait, I really am.” He snorted again. “Hahahah, S’just crazy, hahaha…”

“No, I was thinking about how heavy you are, damnit.” The brown-haired boy retorted, and Colin took revenge by writhing madly while coughing out chemistry formulas.

“Alright…alright! You can heave your effing ass on top of me, just shut up Gulliver, and get some rest.” Dave closed his eyes crossly and tried to sleep, but Colin’s legs over his knees were making him shake and think nasty thoughts…

“Are you mad at me?” His small voice asked. “When we left the grassy place with all those trees, you seemed a little quiet. And then you were looking at me so closely like I was cross-eyed or something. If you want to stop hanging out with me then it’s—“

“Stop talking nonsense.” Dave slung an arm round his shoulder, pulling him up to place his head on the pillows (and hoped that it seemed only casual). “I was just…upset about the taunting you've been receiving, that’s all.”

Colin exhaled sharply as his head rested on the cushion, and he turned to look at his friend. “It’s my problem, Dave. Can I call you Dave now? Yes? Oh goody. Anyway, it’s my problem so you should just ignore them. Isn’t that what you’re good at? Being all indifferent in front of people in school?”

Oh yes, I finally have a personality. The guy with no reaction. He turned his face towards the grief-stricken face and gave Colin his toothiest grin. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s just sleep, okay? I think I have a lump on my head, I want to sleep the pain away.”

(It was funny that after years of calling each other by surname the usual custom was cancelled in merely seconds.)

Colin nodded. “Oh yeah, there’s this sci-fi convention three weeks from now. I was wondering if we could go there or something, but not like what we usually do…I was thinking it’d be really awesome if we cosplayed…”

“…whaddya mean, forepl—oh, yeah, cosplay.” Dave mumbled, eyelids slowly dropping. It was really relaxing to be side by side with Colin, listening to his small voice. His arms were still round his best friend’s shoulders, and it just felt so good, being so close to him.

“Cosplay, you know, we can dress up like our favorite characters while the other fans take pictures of us and stuff. It’ll be fun, I promise. Would you like to cosplay with me? Maybe I could be an Uruk-hai or the Witch-King of Angmar, but the costumes would mean a lot of work—”

Dave was barely listening. “Mmm. You know I’ll always follow you wherever you go, you idiot.”

He felt Colin’s smile. “Okay then, that’s settled. I’ll go contact someone to take our measurements and create our costumes.”

Dave nodded sleepily. “Listen Gulli—Colin, I’m really sleepy, so shut up and go to your own bed if you want to talk about stuff my mind can’t jot down. You have your Commander bozo action figure to speak to, if you want.”

“…M’ lazy.” Colin Gulliver yawned and hugged his knees. “Your bed feels nicer, and there are still some leftover crumbs on mine from the time we ate chips. Can I stay here, on your bed?”

“Just don’t drool on my sheets.” Dave was about to tell Colin move away a little bit but apparently it felt so good he conveniently forgot about it. He looked down and scanned Colin’s bony legs down to his large and lengthy feet. He caught himself ogling at such marvels, until Colin said, “Aye aye, captain,” and practically dozed off moments later.

They both slept side by side, Dave’s arm cradling the other boy’s head. Colin’s feet were entangled in the blankets and his toes were brushing on his friend’s lap. Meanwhile, Dave dreamt of carrots, spectacles, silvery stars and warm-cool feet.



“The Sleeper must Awaken.” – Duke Artreides, Dune


***

I am doomed. I shall die before I graduate College. I shall die before I marry Colin Gulliver and live with him with our adopted kids in a cozy Victorian house with a patio and a huge lawn. I shall die before I RAVISH him. I shall die in vain.

The brown-haired boy who loved this other fiery-haired boy pitied his cursed state.

It was your typical ordinary Tuesday afternoon in Peterson High, typical meaning everyone was rushing home (or to the mall) after dismissal. Dave was in his best camouflage clothes (a white shirt that gave him the ability to merge with the wall) and Colin left him to talk with the other geeks about their costumes for the sci-fi convention. Sometimes Dave wondered why Colin decided to be friends with him…they weren’t exactly complete opposites, but they didn’t really share the same interests, either. Dave Austin never really believed in the ‘opposites attract’ theory, because it would’ve been boring, but it seemed to work in their relationship.

He did ask, come to think of it. During their high school graduation party, while their classmates wept and hugged and spilled cocktail on each other’s suits, Colin bounded towards him with a serious look and blurted, “Austin, how many years have we been friends?”

“Thwee yearsh.” Dave replied over a mouthful of crepe.

“…Then…why are you still here? I’m a freak. Obviously you’re not. You don’t really like Star Trek, you say it’s corny.”

Coz I love you, butthead. “Well…what if I said that I don’t really know? And that the only thing I know is that it just feels right?”

The redhead looked wistful and relaxed a bit. “…Nothing. I don’t really know either. Like you said…it feels right. Right?” There was doubt in his voice.

“How ‘bout you? I don’t really dig your hobbies, but you still hang out with me. Plus I’m unexciting and indecisive.” Dave returned the question.

“This is the first time I’ll ever use this word, but…you’re cool. Would you accept the word ‘cool’ from a geeky sense?” Colin flashed a wide grin. ‘Cool’ for the both of them meant likeable, and with this agreement they tapped their glasses together. It was settled. They remained the best of friends, because it felt right and they were ‘cool’ for each other.

Finally Dave Austin stopped reminiscing about the lovely past and remembered his problem. He checked his locker to grab his books after Colin ‘locked into hyperdrive’, and spotted a note stuck on the far corner of his locker.

It read: GYM. FIVE O’ CLOCK. DON’T YOU EVEN DARE TRY TO RUN AWAY OR ELSE.

You could imagine the horror that befell Dave’s lonesome figure. He stood there, clutching at the piece of paper, wobbling from head to foot. He glanced at his wristwatch and discovered that the ‘meeting’ was only thirty minutes away.

Thirty minutes ‘till certain demise.

He sighed. It was pointless running away because he was sure he would be beaten into a pulp the day after. If I’m going to endure torture, then I’ll endure it as early as possible. Colin wanted him to cosplay and he really yearned to be with him in the convention even if he would probably look like a bothersome fly hovering round him. Dave was not going to risk broken limbs at the end of the month and as a result ruin their date—errr, plans. He needed to be strong for his Colin.

For thirty minutes Dave Austin lounged around and tried to look as normal as possible when in truth he was chanting a mantra for salvation. He passed a few girls who gave him the occasional odd looks (and it still felt weird, being noticed like that), then bumped into his male Trigonometry teacher.

Dave’s eyes widened. “I-I’m sorry, prof—“

Wide, shining eyes were directed on his own; eyes that dripped with compassion and understanding. Dave resisted the urge to spit at his face in horror. “Oh, how wonderful for us to meet on this lovely day, Mr. Dave Austin. Is there anything I can help you with?”

He shuddered. “Er, n-no.” Since when did his Math teacher use adjectives?

The middle-aged man beamed at him, patted his back like he was his best student, and walked away, whistling happily. His teacher never even looked at Dave during class, but all of a sudden he knew his name and held his shoulder like they exchanged deep and meaningful discussions during Trigonometry period. Dave rubbed his shoulder vigorously as if his teacher left a foreign substance on his favorite shirt and cringed when he looked at his watch.

Five o’ clock.

Colin rushed past the leaving students and stopped in front of Dave, his hands on his knees as he panted like a dog. A few milling students giggled. “Gosh, sorry I’m late. Things were out of my control; my crewmates were so excited about the whole sci-fi convention.”

“Uhm, Colin (it still feels weird to say his name)…you go on ahead. Home—errr, to our dorm I mean.”

“You don’t want to walk home, errr—to our dorm with me?” He asked, eyes looking intrigued and vaguely suspicious. Dave narrowed his eyes and gave his best ‘my-life-is-boring-so-nothing-surprising-will-ever-happen-to-me’ look. Colin received the message and perked up like he had an antenna on his head. “Okay, I’ll dash to the bookstore to buy the latest Liberation Frontier of Showers edition; I’m so excited, I heard the Commander’s going to infiltrate the Gemini-Makergnalsh citadel! God, I love him!”

They both executed their official goodbye handshake (just rubbing wrists and some hip-slapping, nothing too vulgar), and Dave imagined himself making somersaults even if he never did acrobatics as his dorm mate walked briskly towards the exit of the campus.

Five o’ clock.

His breath hitching, he rubbed his palms on his thighs and willed himself to walk down the gym, as slow as possible.


%%%

Mission three annotations: The X (rated) Files


The gym held many secrets of its own. There were myths, rumors, fleeting gossip…and to the dismay of the teachers they were mostly believed by the students. It was said that in the right corner of the bleachers, under bench 72, there was a couple who engaged in oral sex amidst a roaring crowd when a basketball championship was held many years ago. They did such atrocities late in the afternoon, and nobody knew why they were never caught. The couple attended a party after the sports event, and the boy drove his girlfriend home afterwards, completely drunk. Hazy eyesight, loud rock music, screeching brakes, a huge tree…both were hurled out the window by the impact. Dead on the spot, naturally.

But the legacy of the exhibitionists lived on. Tales were spread about the ghosts of bench 72, where you could still hear the sounds of their moaning. The eerie voices were often heard on Tuesdays, come dismissal time, as a sign of the 'uncanny occurrences' by the bleachers. In their terror many students and even the school staff themselves avoided the area during afternoons, and so it was completely deserted. Nobody dared enter the gym at such an unholy time.

Yet a group brave enough to hear the gripes of orgasm waited inside the forsaken gym; individuals with entirely different tastes. One time they were asked, “Did you hear it? What happened when you heard the moans? Weren’t you even frightened?” and they replied, “Yeah, we heard the moans alright…but we weren’t scared, really.” The eager crowd pushed on, “So, what happened when you listened?”

One of them shrugged, speaking in behalf of the group. “I just had a hard-on, that’s all.”


(X Files, incomplete.)


***


“You too can be a warrior of love!” – Urd, Oh My Goddess!”



Dave wiped his sweaty hands on the sides of his jeans, took a deep breath, and stepped into the gym. It was quite natural for the bullies to hold a torture session in the feared location; otherwise the janitors would’ve heard if they were in a different place, and it would be hard to make excuses for all the bruises. Dave wasn’t afraid of ghosts, because he did not believe in them, but if the beatings were too harsh then maybe he’ll haunt the school gym as well...mostly victimizing carrot tops with geeky affinities.

He turned around to shut the door firmly behind him, and when he opened his eyes towards the court he gave out a high-pitched yelp.

He expected muscular men in blue jerseys. But what he saw was an influx of multi-colored clothes.

There were the gothic males in their tight black apparel, swapping cigarettes and trying their best to look anorexic and hot. The geeks were seated on the benches, holding up pencils and notebooks with the same crazed eyes as Colin’s when he talked about Commander JJ. The jocks were also present, shuffling their sneakers and exchanging anxious looks. There were also a bunch of other guys; wallflowers, the wannabes, the punk-gangsters, the socially inept, a class clown and a male gossip.

But what shocked Dave was the sight of the gang leader who asked him if he loved his best friend. The leader stood in the center of the gym, arms folded and towering over the rest.

I’m going to be beaten up…by uuhhh…them? Is my love for Colin so foul that I even offended the wannabes? His nervous eyes scanned the rest of the place. It was like a whole classroom was inside the gym; he did not know any one of them except the gang leader, and they weren't even on friendly terms.

“Dave Austin.” A voice boomed. Realizing it came from the leader of the bullies, Dave quickly lowered his eyes and stared at the cracked floor.

“…We need your help.”

Dave stared.

“You made us…realize things. Your recent love for a certain Colin Gulliver, to be exact.”

Recent? I’ve been loving him for years, now. “Yeah?” He tried to sound calm but his voice came out as a burbled cry.

“We’re just like you, Austin.” The class clown piped up.

He couldn’t believe his ears.

“We also fancy the…same…sorts of people.” A goth guy drawled.

He mentally slapped himself repeatedly, his palms making red marks on his imaginary cheeks. I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming

“Stop fucking around, you guys. What we meant to say was: Austin, we’re also gay.” The gossip finished triumphantly, looking very pleased with himself.

In the midst of the uneasy silence moans of pleasure erupted from the benches; and yet Dave Austin laughed like a madman, tone nasal, hard and stiff, and his strangled voice united with the erotic groans and created a refrain of inane reverberations.

He laughed for a long time, and only managed to calm himself after the ghostly cries were kept to a minimum. “No way. This is…this is a joke.” He turned serious all of a sudden. “…and it’s not a funny joke. No, not at all. If you think that my—my—fondness for Colin is a nice target for your crummy ideas of entertainment—“

In his surprise, he looked up to see himself in their eyes. And he knew those expressions, knew them to the bone.

He sees it regularly when he shaves in the bathroom while Colin showers.


MISSION PENDING. MEANWHILE, CEASEFIRE.


***


TO BE CONTINUED.