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| Friday, June 8th, 2007 | | 1:10 pm |
The final Countdown.
Noticeable Acheivement.
Destination
In sight
All That Remains
Is the Time
In Between
----
Current Mood: Feeling Hannibal
Current Music: Lecterish | | Thursday, June 7th, 2007 | | 11:29 am |
-- throws a bunch of lettered-words on the page..
what the fuck ever..
end. | | Friday, June 1st, 2007 | | 11:47 am |
Well.
Wow.
You ever take a few minutes just out of boring curiousity to read your past entries.?
Well.
I just did. And guess what. Im unashamed to state that i actually liked reading them. Im pretty (clever) arent i?
Sighs. if you cant amuse yourself in any current state of mood with your own musings.. then i think you have issues that cant be solved :P
Thats MY thought for the day. And just because im feeling nice..
Smarties for everyone!!!
(but slightly more for Teej)
:) | | Thursday, February 8th, 2007 | | 10:28 pm |
You with the sad eyes don't be discouraged oh I realize it's hard to take courage in a world full of people you can lose sight of it all and the darkness inside you can make you feel so small But I see your true colors shining through I see your true colors and that's why I love you so don't be afraid to let them show your true colors true colors are beautiful like a rainbow Show me a smile then don't be unhappy, can't remember when I last saw you laughing if this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear you call me up because you know I'll be there And I'll see your true colors shining through I see your true colors and that's why I love you so don't be afraid to let them show your true colors true colors are beautiful like a rainbow Current Mood:  high | | 10:24 pm |
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide | | Thursday, October 12th, 2006 | | 7:28 pm |
I am up against
The people
in my
head. | | Thursday, July 27th, 2006 | | 10:23 am |
Welcome!
some of
my
CATS!...
unfortunately youll have to look at the last entry to see them, for now.
bigh! | | Wednesday, July 12th, 2006 | | 9:20 am |
A Smaggering of Smoggerings
Ahem..
Cough,cough..
My name is Miranda and yes, i too am a musical isolationist.
I really think, that people look at me, and think certain things, like Oh, she looks like a nice girl. Or, shes just ordinary. Just another blender in the crowd of sameness. I really doubt, that when im out and about, in a store, that someone would suddenly lean over to their friend and whisper, thats her. Thats the girl I saw yesterday. Maybe im ego-less. And yet, you could, really read the above and think, my gosh she really actually is thinking the opposite and she really does have a big ego of herself.
Actually i dont. And actually, im honest.
Perhaps, your rolling your eyes right now, in disbelievement. But i, unlike many other lying smagheads out there, really dont have anything to lie about. My life is mundane. And just maybe, im just too lazy to lie and come up with some tall stories for you.
Whatever i write is true. True from me.
Anyways, onto music (tj)
Right now, what i most listen to are as follows.
Enya- Awesome,Mellow and Free-feeling
Korn- Love them
Rammstein- kick ass. Specially when your mad. Good to vent to.
Los Lonely Boys- Mellow also. Good outside, sitting in the sun tunes.
Eminem- What can i say. Hes good at what he does.
A mix cd including, Masari, Snoop Dogg,James Blunt,Classified, Blind Melon, Sum41, Nelly/Tim McGraw,50Cent. I actually really love this mix.
Godsmack- Wickedly good.
Others include, Chris Brown,Great Big Sea,Queensryche, Janis Joplin,Marilyn Manson,District7, Usher,Kittie,Tori Amos,P.Diddy, Chris Shepphard, Better Than Ezra,AC/DC, Metallica,Whitesnake Staind, Paul Simon, Cat Stevens.Coldplay.Beatles.
I like most all music to some extent. I can tolerate country, tho im not one to tune it to the radio, or buy any cds of it. I like 50s 60s 70s 80s 90s till now. Tho i do generally seek out older music. I dont often listen to the radio anymore as i find it generally sucks and sounds all the same. I like so many different artist that when i loop them all together, it probably looks very strange. I like music you can appreciate for the sheer talent of singing/songwriting. Sometimes my mood just calls for harder, or softer stuff. Sometimes i need a beat.Sometimes i just listen to the Gladiator Soundtrack, it just depends.
Most people i know either stick with one form of music. Rap, metal. whatever. Others are sucked into what the radio djs think should be hits.
Of course, let me say, that all listed, are just generally ones i can think of at the moment that i do listen to. There are so many different artists that i enjoy, that i really doubt i could honestly list them all. Still. its a start.
Scary as it may seem, i promise i really am,
still
normal.
(ish)
Current Mood: Onward!
Current Music: Ye Day! | | Friday, July 7th, 2006 | | 9:19 am |
A Shitty Shitty Month
Could it get any worse?
Sure, if your name is Miranda and you happen to exist.
In the past month, we had 2 cats pass away unexpectedly.
Pooper- the oldest, yet still young, at only 3 years.Had a kidney blockage.This cat had the most terrible poops you could imagine when he was little. always looked small, and sickly. With a cruddy tail. Till one year he just blossomed into the most attractive cat we have ever owned. He had extra toes and a sweet face that would melt anyones heart. He would jump on your back and loop himself around your shoulders, and let you take him for a walk around the place, and he was content. A genuinely loving cat, towards us, and the other cats. He was often referred to a Teddy-Cat. He was so soft and cuddly. Never in a million years, did i ever imagine, we would lose him so early. He was the perfect cat. Im glad i had the chance to share his life with him.
And now, this morning, Scrapper-Not sure what was wrong with him, he could of been really old, or maybe had some underlying ailment by the time we got him. In any case. He had a good life, the 7 months he was with us. Loved. Loved. Loved. All our other cats didnt mind him either. A loner by nature, he found comfort with us. A found cat, that had us rolling our eyes at his crazy antics, peeing in the sink or standing at your feet while your cooking at the stove, swatting at the dishtowels and constantly pulling them off and onto the floor. The cat, that when you called his name, would look around as if we were talking to someone behind him. The cat that would be the most active when he knew you were going to feed him a treat of canned food, running, jumping over other cats, in a panicked rush to get there first.
He would always dip his feet into the water dish and them come jump onto your lap, curling up, looking innocent.
Im going to really miss you. | | Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 | | 7:06 am |
The sad girl
Yesterday, i had come back home after picking up at few things at the store, and, nearing the corner where i live, i saw 5 police cars and and ambulance all parked at the house on the opposite corner.
My first thought was that the woman there had been robbed. Shes and elderly lady,and lives by herself. As i go to open the car door, the neighbour 1 directly across the street from me, comes walking toward me, and she looked terrified. Wich made me instantly scared.
As she was approaching me,i had a better veiw from where i was standing, to see that the police were all parked near her barn.
I knew something was wrong. I called to her as she neared me, What happened?? She told me that the grandaughter of the elderly lady had killed herself. Had hung herself. My first thought that it was a young child, i dont know why i thought 8 or 9. But as she talked more, i understood what went on. She said the Girl had been visiting her grandmother the night before and they had gone across to some other neighbours for supper and things were fine. The next day the grandmother had scheduled surgery, it seems that she had committed suicide soon after she left. She had left a note on the barn door in hopes that her dad would find it (hes a farmer, and stores machinery at his mothers place) He had gone in, to get something, but just inside the door, and hadnt seen the note till the day after. She was in her 20s.
I have to admit, that seeing all the commotion going on, so close to me, to hear that haunting tale from the neigbours, that it really started to scare me.
Then i remembered seeing a girl one nite, when i was outside with the dog. My dog started barking and running toward her as she was walking on the road, i called out to him, to come back, and he just stood there, barking at her. Wich is something he doesnt ordinarly do. He'll often just stop and stare. I had smiled, and said Hi to her, and laughinly said, dont mind him, his bark is worse than his bite. And she replied something like "its okay. im not afraid anymore. and kept walking. What i thought was odd, was not only how she said it, but it was so hot outside, and she was wearing a flannel shirt with jeans, and she looked like she was venting, by taking a walk, but i swear that she had this aura about her that gave me the impression that something was wrong.
It struck me as strange, that i went inside and told my bf about it. That was early last week.
I have never seen this girl before, but she had stuck in my mind this whole time, and tho weve seen other ppl talking walks on our road. I immediately described this girl to my neighbour, asking it if was the same girl.
It was.
I feel so bad. I knew something was up with that girl, and i wish i could of talked to her more, or made friends with her. If i could of known what path she was on, i could of tried to get her off of it. It could of been so simple as to just talk to her.
It really hits home and makes you think at how bad she must of felt life was, to end it all that way.
As i was talking to the neighbour, i had admitted that i have been really depressed at times, but i would never do something like that, but i do know how hopeless it can seem, and i can understand it to a point. I just wish she hadnt died.
After i had finished talking with my neighbour i went inside. I couldnt think about anything else, and the more i thought about it, the more scared i was. I was literally afraid to go outside, to let the dogs out. It was like i didnt want to even feel the same wind touch me. Its wierd. But i knocked myself out of it, i forced myself to do mundane things, like clean and vaccum. I did laundry. Wich made me go outside. This whole thing didnt even directly affect me, but i still felt touched by it.
It just really makes you think. About how bad you think you have it. Someone else is already going through it, and could of decided to end it.
I prayed for her. | | Thursday, April 13th, 2006 | | 6:59 pm |
 thanks A | | 6:11 pm |
I
Really have nothing to write about. Im bored. Antsy.And Devilish.
Send me your numbers and ill call you collect :P
muwhahahaa
-drapes cape over her in one swift whipping motion. Loose dark tendrils fan out around her face and all that is left, to be remembered is a playful smirk upon her lips- | | Monday, April 10th, 2006 | | 5:53 pm |
Today.
Well.....
is..
today!
Thats it. Yeah, big whoop, i know ;)
You know when you think you have a lot to write, then realize youve been staring at a blank screen for 5 minutes, lost in thoughts,the gentle hum of the tower purring in the backround, your eyes get blurred up and you hear a noise and you quickly find focus on the screen and someones thumping on your front door, the dogs are going crazy, barking and growling and as you get up to go and see whos there and to your horror you realize that
---leaves the readers in suspense. | | Friday, April 7th, 2006 | | 8:15 pm |
He's a Healer
--Kmbjra Nfilv-- | | Tuesday, April 4th, 2006 | | 7:14 pm |
to-do list.
*Check self into a mental facility for an undetermined amount of time. Dont get me wrong. I just want some time away from all you bastards.
*Mass market/Mass produce "Happy". Something legal.Something non-addictive. Cause face it. I enjoy being miserable sometimes.
*Let the world know, that crying with your eyes closed.Is toxic.
*Switch my night-feelings, for day-feelings. So i dont have to pretend im happy during the day.
About me..
*Being depressed. Really isnt a hush hush subject. I am. I get. I will always be. Just get used to it. And screw the false empathy. Because when i am depressed, i dont want to have lie about it, i dont want to feel i have to portray being happy. I just want to be alone. Being social. Is the LAST thing i want to do. So deal with it.
I have to.
*Did you realize i actually have an "i dont care attitude? "Well i do. And i dont care. Dont assume you are important to me. If you are, ill let you know.
And if i havent, im not sorry.
*Im actually physically friendless. Yes, i know. what a shocker.
*Im smart enough to realize, that certain people don't care for me. Im blacksheeped and frowned upon. And, ive GIVEN UP on trying to please you. Cause fact is, its not pleasing to me.
*Every aspect of my what i thought would be defining moments for my life, i have watched happened to other people i know. Some that i didnt like either-wich made me feel doubly worse.
*I HATE being a comparision.
*I hate being a side thought.
*You'd think that with all this hate in me, all youd have to do is light a match and id combust into flames of fury- I wish.
* Know, that it is always the quiet ones, you have to worry about.
Ende. | | Monday, March 13th, 2006 | | 10:30 pm |
living my lie_f
bound to an endless misery.
Current Mood: whatthefuckever | | Wednesday, March 8th, 2006 | | 12:11 am |
"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm
destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to
the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice
of God answered, "There's just something about you that
pisses me off."
---Stephen King | | Wednesday, March 1st, 2006 | | 12:49 am |
My Want is
Eternal.
My Desire is
Strong
I Do Not Know
How I Will Make It
Alone.
A Daily Torment Of Thoughts.
A Wondering of Why's.
Will I Ever Touch You
Before I Have To
Die?
In My Head.You.
Are.
Mine. | | Monday, January 30th, 2006 | | 8:46 pm |
I prefer to describe myself as a
"Contemporary Anthropological Interactive Observer"
because it has just the right amount of flair.
Besides....
"stalker"
is such an ugly word. Current Mood:  yahooCurrent Music: yeehaw | | Friday, January 27th, 2006 | | 4:53 pm |
Because. If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. ***WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN***** And...if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to absolutely everyone!!! THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! ...And look at you - you're on the computer!!!! Sad...very sad. Current Mood:  it makesCurrent Music: me laugh |
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