Table of contents for Despair-Work, an essay by Joanna Macy on the weight of the Nuclear Age on each/all of us, whether we are consciously aware of it or not, and some ideas of what can be done for/by each of us to ease that burden.

Part one: Introduction, Ingredients of Despair, Symptoms and Suppressions
Part two: Validation,
Part three: Feeling, Imaging, Waiting
Part four: Community
Citations and references page [external links]

This essay became her book Despair and Personal Power in the Nuclear Age.

And some related links: Deep Ecology, Nuclear Guardianship, Non-Violent Peace Force, Yes! Magazine and Critical Will: Force for Nuclear Disarmament.

ETA: I've been asked why I'm keeping this at the top of my page?
Because it's relevant. Because this essay saved my life when I first read it in 1982. Because it's thoughtful writing. And because now, instead of two countries with [relatively] stable nuclear warhead programs, there are [actually, do we even know how many?] at least 6 with nuclear warhead capability. I don't know about you, but that weighs on me something terrible. I'm so grateful to have ways to relieve that burden which are practical and do-able.

ETA to add Rebecca Solnit's Library of Hope (including hope in the dark) from Tom Engelhart's Tomdispatch, courtesy of Perceval Press.

ETA 4.16.08 to add Waging Peace and the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation.

Thank you, you who read, ponder, come back, read again. If ever you'd like to talk about this with me, I'm available. Just drop me a note here.

Tags: deep ecology, despair-work, despair-work main listing, hope, joanna macy, peace work, tao te ching, the road
Current Music: Visión Queer/Radio Mente Abierta

So, finally.

I started my trip on May 23rd by staying down at my son's house in San Francisco. He came, picked me up, and away we went.

The next day, before seeing me off at the 'New' San Francisco International Terminal (where I enjoyed the Calling the Earth to Witness exhibit of statues of the Buddha over the centuries) we went to the Annie Liebowitz exhibit at the Palace of the Legion of Honor. An incidental bonus was seeing a few of the huge, beautiful Dale Chihuly glass pieces

I learned several things from this.

My son gave me a lovely beginning to my trip. We've had our ups and downs, but he's become a fine man, and I love him for who he is.

Long-time friendships, like that of Annie Leibowitz and Susan Sontag, come by chance but are grown, maintained, celebrated by effort. Sometimes that effort is so light as to be unnoticeable, and sometimes it is all one can do to take the next breath.

Breath may be the only thing we have any control over besides our thoughts. Dale Chihuly's pieces are large multi-piece blown glass works. Amazing.


to be continued. watch this space *G*

Tags: europe 2008

The little AU: Summer Winds: Local
slashfairy

~~

It's more rest than he's had in- well, years.

Even with flying to Reykjavik, even with Las Vegas and Roskilde and working on the ranch, even with seeing his mother and avoiding his father and spending time with Henry, it's still more rest than he's had in years. ( Read more... )

Tags: summer winds, the little au

As a nurse, I'm firmly science-based. As a child of the 1950's, brought up on fairy-tales and science-fiction, poetry and reference books, geography and archeology, I'm equally at home in (or at least recognize some of the signposts and landmarks in) 'left-brained' and 'right-brained' experience. As a child of the 60's with my brief foray into psychedelics and a much longer, more careful sojourn in spiritual and esoteric study, I'm a believer that things connect- that living as though we are not all in relationship to each other, to all of life, all of time, all of space, lessens us.

From the TED website:

One morning, a blood vessel in Jill Bolte Taylor's brain exploded. As a brain scientist, she realized she had a ringside seat to her own stroke. She watched as her brain functions shut down one by one: motion, speech, memory, self-awareness ...

Amazed to find herself alive, Taylor spent eight years recovering her ability to think, walk and talk. She has become a spokesperson for stroke recovery and for the possibility of coming back from brain injury stronger than before. In her case, although the stroke damaged the left side of her brain, her recovery unleashed a torrent of creative energy from her right. From her home base in Indiana, she now travels the country on behalf of the Harvard Brain Bank as the "Singin' Scientist."

"How many brain scientists have been able to study the brain from the inside out? I've gotten as much out of this experience of losing my left mind as I have in my entire academic career."

Jill Bolte Taylor/My Stroke of Insight/ TED Feb 2008

( Click )

Tags: despair-work, esotericism, health, peace-work, philosophy, psychology

Ok. I have been studying Marshall Rosenberg's theory and practice of Nonviolent Communication for a number of years now, and YAY! for YouTube: he's on it. I cannot recommend this enough- I hope the vids are enough to whet your appetites for being treated kindly, with respect and dignity, and the expectation that what you want most from life is to be alive every minute.

Nonviolent Communication
part 1 9 mins 35 sec.
part 2 5 mins 47 sec. (particularly helpful about depression)
part 3 4 mins 25 sec.

Nonviolent Communication and Corporations
part 1 28 mins 32 sec.
part 2 28 mins 58 sec.
part 3 26 mins 32 sec.

Tags: compassion, economics, life, living, marshall rosenberg, nonviolent communication, philosophy, politics, psychology

Ways in which I am becoming more like my mother (I promise, this absolutely has to do with this summer's trip!):

I will swipe the sides of the bath tub as it's draining so that it's not got too bad of a ring around it when I leave the bathroom. I'll wash out my bra and panties and hang them to dry, to save needing too many changes of clothes, and to save making a load of laundry for only two things. I'll buy post cards instead of prints, or bring home brochures and local papers instead of photo-books and programs. I'll eat less quantity but better quality to save both calories and money, and put the money saved into my travel fund, and enjoy the fact that I'll be healthier on next year's trip than I was on this one.

Ways in which I am becoming more like my father:

I will build a collection of something, then when it is finished, I will let it all go. (He became an expert at this, building and letting go of not one, but five different huge HO train set-ups.) I will pare down to the bare minimum just to make something possible. I will seek any number of ways to get something accomplished, or to convert any disappointment or resentment I might feel at delays, obstacles, or lack of completion into energy that I can use to work toward accomplishment.

It's really not possible that I could have gone on this year's trip-not with only the resources of my own single life. The only way it could have happened is with the help and generosity of the friends I went to see again, or meet for the first time.

I left the States a bit of a wreck- underslept, overfed, under-exercised, and over-anxious.

In my five weeks (close enough) in Germany and Denmark I developed more muscles, got better sleep, had a healthier appetite, and a happier heart. Watercress and parsley, feta and Arabic bread, daikon radish and wrinkled black olives, apples and chocolate. The water in that part of the country actually IS special spring water- my hair's not had it so good in years, nor my thirst been so well quenched. I left feeling loved, and cared for, and inspired, and appreciated, and as though some piece of the world, of history and life that'd been beyond me is now part of me forever.

In Scotland I began to get a real sense of my mother's family's heritage- I'm a mongrel blend of Bruce and Campbell, Stuart and MacEwan- highland and lowland, Methodist and Presbyterian and Catholic and wild. I literally gathered wool alongside a road through sheep country, and came across family names more often than not, which was both reassuring and intriguing. Although we didn't have as much time just to ourselves as we'd planned (mostly because the weather was MUCH better than we'd all expected, so we went out on day-trips all together much more than we'd expected), still, I came away with so much better of a sense of why I love the person I went to visit, and how much love is willing to stand, to last. Thank you for that gift, to go with you all to Scotland. I don't know if I can ever, ever say how much it means.

In England I began to find my way through all these threads of history that mark me, my country, my experience of history and of government, religion- so many things- I look at it all a bit differently now. Things make sense differently. Better. Thank you, friends, for putting me up, for feeding me, and taking me around, for helping me become more independent in my travels, and for not letting me be alone. What value that has for me, and you have to me.

Ok, that's the quasi-philosophical, slightly mysterious post. Tomorrow, and in the days ahead- the actual trip, and plans for 2009, and 2010, and so on, and so on.

Tags: transformation, travel

Back to work tonight. First night in 8 weeks.

Nooo idea how things are, there. Same family, fewer hours.

And still night shift. Which, you know. If you can get your sleep, good. If not- but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Walked up to the farmer's market yesterday, got veg and fruit and had a nice walk. All in all things go well, health-wise. Which is good. Because---

To continue my health insurance coverage with COBRA- $495 a month. Let's see. at $20.70 an hour, x 24 hours, - taxes etc. ... rent, food, gas, car insurance... hmmm.

hmm....


O.o Makes you wonder don't it? stay healty, save your money.

But the agency's looking around for more hours for me, so. Not so bad. Could be worse. With more hours I'd get benefits- still have to pay for them, but only $300/mo. Which, you know. Not fun, but do-able. so.

OK. naptime. catch you on the flipside.

Well. According to my body, I've only been home two days, but according to the calendar here, it's three.

Either way, real life is starting to make its way back into my consciousness.

Earlier this year I took an online course working with Your Money or Your Life, the book and life energy/fulfillment plan I credit with helping me understand money/energy well enough to pay off my bills and create a workable life for myself.

Now I'm really really glad I did.( Read more... )

Tags: life energy, money, travel, uni, ymoyl

Last leg.

Good flight, pleasant seatmate.
No sleep.

Now waiting for the airporter, then to be picked up by friends and taken home.

Then bath, unpack, sleep, food, walk, internet, in some as-yet-undetermined order.

Thank you for your companionship along the way.

Detailed reports of some kind or another to follow.

so.

Here we are, in Heathrow, safely checked in- one bag in the hold this time, too many things in it that i didn't want to ship and can't carry on. otherwise i'd have accomplished my goal of going carry-on only.

goals for 2008-2009

Stay healthy, get healthier.
finish Uni. graduate.

save money. save, save, save.
earn money. work, sell stuff i don't need. write.

have people come for graduation. celebrate graduation.

return to Europe.

travel in the States.

remember to breathe.

keep love.

i guess that's it.