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skryche is now closed. I shall continue my bloggening at another address.
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Wed, Aug. 2nd, 2006, 09:03 am
The End Of A LiveJournal
I'm sick of the username “skryche” and tired of being shy about sharing my Livejournal. skryche is now closed. I shall continue my bloggening at another address.
skryche is now closed. I shall continue my bloggening at another address.
Mon, Jul. 31st, 2006, 04:03 pm
Pun Of The Day
A landscaping service called “Lawn Order”.
Thank you!
Thank you!
Sun, Jul. 30th, 2006, 02:53 pm
Poodle Got Her Hair Did Yesterday
Before (“Happy”):
After (“Dubious and Puffy as Hell”):
And then today after brunch, she steps on a big wad of gum.
After (“Dubious and Puffy as Hell”):
And then today after brunch, she steps on a big wad of gum.
Fri, Jul. 28th, 2006, 06:01 pm
Flash Animation: The Black, The White
I loved this Russian animation about a game of chess.
http://www.scary.ru/flash/white_black.h
Reminds me of Battlechess, which I thought was incredibly bad-ass back in 1989.
http://www.scary.ru/flash/white_black.h
Reminds me of Battlechess, which I thought was incredibly bad-ass back in 1989.
Fri, Jul. 21st, 2006, 08:33 am
Dog/Cat Massage
You know, I usually like to think my LiveJournal is above posts of cute videos of cats and dogs. But this one... the voiceover makes it brilliant.
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=1
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=1
Thu, Jul. 20th, 2006, 05:26 pm
Don't Be Down About Israel And Hezbollah!
Wed, Jul. 19th, 2006, 11:20 am
The Office "Make Your Own Promo" Contest
http://www.youtube.com/group/theoffice
My Vision: What if The Office were a British TV show?
The clip would be moments from the first episode, but full of UK cliches; like, seen through a Wee Britain lens. Everyone would have terrible Cockney accents.
Create a 20 second promo for NBC’s “The Office”. Shoot your own original footage plus you may use the optional “The Office “ music and graphics provided in a download kit at http://www.nbc.com/The_Offi... . Winners’ promos will appear on NBC and “The Office” Web site on NBC.com.
My Vision: What if The Office were a British TV show?
The clip would be moments from the first episode, but full of UK cliches; like, seen through a Wee Britain lens. Everyone would have terrible Cockney accents.
Mon, Jul. 17th, 2006, 12:36 pm
The Movie I Want To See
I would like to see the non-existent movie You, Me, Dupree, and Everyone We Know.
As this is unlikely, I'll be happy with a recording of Owen Wilson saying, “You poop into my butt hole and I poop into your butt hole... back and forth... forever.”
I'll make it into a ringtone.
As this is unlikely, I'll be happy with a recording of Owen Wilson saying, “You poop into my butt hole and I poop into your butt hole... back and forth... forever.”
I'll make it into a ringtone.
Mon, Jul. 17th, 2006, 12:29 pm
“Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.”
I think the US Justice system intentionally sabotages the above time-management method by not setting specific jailtimes for each crime. For instance, if I plan to commit aggravated assault, how do I know how many years to block out in my PDA? It'll all depends on the skill of my lawyer, how much my judge likes/dislikes me, etc.
Sun, Jul. 16th, 2006, 09:08 pm
Ask Yahoo: How did the expression "more fun than a barrel of monkeys" originate?
I don't really care all that much about the origins of the phrase, but I loved this quotation:
...and word historian Charles E. Funk, who wrote: "One monkey arouses a great deal of amusement. Two or more then double the...amusement. If one were to release a barrelful...of monkeys, we must suppose that their antics would become hilariously comical."
http://ask.yahoo.com/20060707.htmlFri, Jul. 14th, 2006, 12:04 pm
Ice Rocks
ICE ROCKS® are secured ice cubes made from spring water and ready to be frozen. These cubes, to be consumed within two (2) years, are hermetically packaged in disposable, recyclable containers, providing the user with a complete guarantee with regard to hygiene and safety, while respecting the environment. ICE ROCKS® uses a patented technology, providing a container of refreshing ice cubes that are pure and hygienic. ICE ROCKS® is a product that is sold in its unfrozen state (liquid), so it is in fact a product offering substantial savings in terms of delivery costs, in that it does not require trucks to be refrigerated for transportation.
http://www.icerocks.com/
This is not satire (or they have me fooled).
Tue, Jul. 11th, 2006, 06:59 pm
Happiness (Particularly In Regard To New Yorkers)
This article on New Yorkers' perverse perceptions of happiness is fascinating.
Also: The test! I got 3.5 on the Authentic Happiness Inventory. You?
Also: The test! I got 3.5 on the Authentic Happiness Inventory. You?
Tue, Jul. 11th, 2006, 06:23 pm
Singles Bar
When I was growing up, I remember hearing about these sleazy singles bars, where people would go for the express purpose of romantic connection. Didn't Jack, Janet, & Chrissy (and, particularly, Larry) patronize these places all the time?
Now I'm all grown up, and I realize that the very phrase has disappeared.
What were these legendary places like?
Surely they still exist — are they just particularly sleazy bars, or is it that all bars have become fair game for hooking up?
Now I'm all grown up, and I realize that the very phrase has disappeared.
What were these legendary places like?
Surely they still exist — are they just particularly sleazy bars, or is it that all bars have become fair game for hooking up?
Tue, Jul. 11th, 2006, 05:17 pm
Word-Of-The-Day: Exasturbate
ex·ast·ur·bate
tr.v., -bat·ed, -bat·ing, -bates.
To increase the severity, violence, or bitterness of someone or something by masturbating onto, or masturbating via contemplation of, it.
tr.v., -bat·ed, -bat·ing, -bates.
To increase the severity, violence, or bitterness of someone or something by masturbating onto, or masturbating via contemplation of, it.
Mon, Jul. 10th, 2006, 02:18 pm
Scent and Memory
You know how you'll smell something unusual and it'll suddenly remind you of another time in your life?
I was just in the office restroom, and the hot water mixed with antibacterial “SoftSoap” somehow caused an emotional response within me. It was soothing, almost comforting.
I don't get it. I use this soap every day, and suddenly I've attached it to childhood protomemories?
I was just in the office restroom, and the hot water mixed with antibacterial “SoftSoap” somehow caused an emotional response within me. It was soothing, almost comforting.
I don't get it. I use this soap every day, and suddenly I've attached it to childhood protomemories?
Mon, Jul. 3rd, 2006, 06:27 pm
Threadless Submission
I have submitted a slogan to Threadless' Type Tees:
I can only please one person each day. TODAY IS YOUR DAY.
What I wanted was:
I can only please one person each day. CONGRATULATIONS. Today is your day.
...but that's nine characters too long, apparently.
So far, one in five have given it the thumbs up. I think that's not bad, considering not everybody is familiar with the source material.
I can only please one person each day. TODAY IS YOUR DAY.
What I wanted was:
I can only please one person each day. CONGRATULATIONS. Today is your day.
...but that's nine characters too long, apparently.
So far, one in five have given it the thumbs up. I think that's not bad, considering not everybody is familiar with the source material.
Sun, Jul. 2nd, 2006, 05:50 pm
“Pandas are endangered because they are utterly incompetent.”
Fucking hilarious.
...Pandas only eat bamboo shoots, but they get almost no nutrition from the sticks. So they spend the entire day shoveling the stuff down their stomachs -- where most of it never even digests...
...Just keeping the species alive is a full-time job for thousands of human zookeepers, veterinarians and scientists. That's because the useless animals have no interest in sex...
...In contrast to any other animal in the world, giant pandas exist solely because humans adore them, and want them to reproduce and stay alive...
http://www.sploid.com/news/2006/07/stup...Just keeping the species alive is a full-time job for thousands of human zookeepers, veterinarians and scientists. That's because the useless animals have no interest in sex...
...In contrast to any other animal in the world, giant pandas exist solely because humans adore them, and want them to reproduce and stay alive...
Sun, Jul. 2nd, 2006, 10:39 am
Overheard Conversation Outside Starbucks
“There's two types of people: Real people and fake people. A guy might be rich and successful, but he still could be fake.
Me? I'm real.
Do I act faggoty? Yes.
Do I act crazy? Yes.”
Me? I'm real.
Do I act faggoty? Yes.
Do I act crazy? Yes.”
Thu, Jun. 29th, 2006, 11:53 am
Today, On The Internet
I had a 24oz. (I actually asked for a Venti-sized coffee, and the cashier was all, “you know that's 24 ounces, right?”) iced-coffee this morning, and now everything on the internet seems AWESOME:
This dude tricks a 419 scammer into carving a Commodore 64 out of wood!
These Swedes will insure pirates from RIAA attacks for the low price of $19/month!
Bat-catching (and eating) centipede!
This dude tricks a 419 scammer into carving a Commodore 64 out of wood!
These Swedes will insure pirates from RIAA attacks for the low price of $19/month!
Bat-catching (and eating) centipede!
Wed, Jun. 28th, 2006, 04:53 pm
The Tribulations Of Starbucks Cup Sizes
When I first started ordering coffee from Starbucks, I refused to go by their “Short*”/“Tall”/“Grande”/“Venti” classifications. I couldn't stand the pretension of having cup sizes in another language. And I was downright offended by “Venti”, which they went so far as to trademark (even though it's just Italian for “twenty” (as in 20oz (except in the case of cold drinks — or in Canada — when a Venti is 24oz))). WTF, am I wrong?
So, like so many other snooty-but-not-too-snooty-for-Starbucks coffee drinkers, I'd order a “Medium” coffee. Everyone was happy — the cashiers (contrary to popular belief) always understood that what I really wanted was their median size — a Grande, while I got to feel smug at not buying into their marketing-speak.
But something still bothered me. When I ask for a large iced coffee, should I receive a Venti™? Or a Grande — 'cause isn't “Grande”, after all, Italian for “large”?
So: lately I've been asking for a sixteen-ounce coffee when I get there. I have yet to have a server not hesitate upon hearing my order. I am an asshole.
* No relation.
So, like so many other snooty-but-not-too-snooty-for-Starbucks coffee drinkers, I'd order a “Medium” coffee. Everyone was happy — the cashiers (contrary to popular belief) always understood that what I really wanted was their median size — a Grande, while I got to feel smug at not buying into their marketing-speak.
But something still bothered me. When I ask for a large iced coffee, should I receive a Venti™? Or a Grande — 'cause isn't “Grande”, after all, Italian for “large”?
So: lately I've been asking for a sixteen-ounce coffee when I get there. I have yet to have a server not hesitate upon hearing my order. I am an asshole.
* No relation.