| Dec. 31st, 2004 @ 05:23 pm Ha Ha Ha...This is a good one |
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Current Mood:  crazy
Current Music: "I'm Every Woman" Chaka Khan
You Know You Work With Jr High and High School Church kids if….
If a member of the church complains about the middle schoolers doing something, and you have to confess that you were the one that taught them how to do it in the first place.
If you're over 20 and carry water guns around in the back of your car on a regular basis.
If, when you take a group of JR highers out into the woods on a retreat for some "challenging fun," you end up in the hospital getting 12 stitches.
If you carry around tattered receipts in your wallet for things that you've bought for kids at youth events when they didn't have enough money of their own knowing full well that you'll never turn them in.
If you've memorized the location of all the fire extinguishers and first aid kits in the church.
If you clap too loud in praise songs and you don't have a hearing problem.
If you're only 20 and you're finding gray hairs.
If you enjoy singing amazing grace to any tune other than the original. (e.g., runaround sue, house of the rising sun, on the road again).
If you can't walk into a Pizza or Sub shop without taking a group price list with you when you leave.
If your office is messy... the piles of papers are hidden under balloons, gizmos, and bags of potato chips.
If "my kids" refers to a group of young people you are not related to.
If you have a telephone in the bathroom.
If you can parallel park a 15 passenger van while changing radio stations.
If your spouse is affectionately known as "the default chaperone".
If counseling takes place over fries and a hot fudge sundae.
If you work a 14 hour Sunday.
If your average workday isn't average.
If the pizza delivery people all know you.
If you're reading this.
If the teens hold a fundraiser that involves them shaving your head.
If you've read all the small print on the church's liability insurance.
If you've had to break the news to the senior pastor and the board that the teens held a car wash, and accidentally used steel wool.
If you've ever caught the teens TPing your car.
If you can go to a youth rally without earplugs.
If the teens give YOU advice on style, grammar, and relationships.
If shaving cream, whipped cream and Jell-O as regular supplies for retreats.
If you have a set of clothes designated for retreats.
If half your work week hours are on Saturday and Sunday.
If you can't leave Toys R Us without buying stuff... in sets of 10.
If your knowledge of local high school sports is better than the parents of the players.
If MTV is research.
If you frequently complain that there are no TV ads for 15 passenger vans.
If your idea of a vacation is to stay home.
If your formal clothes get dusty.
If you sit in the student section at high school football games, and you just celebrated your 10 year reunion.
If your sick sense of humor motivates you to drive a van full of kids crazy by tuning in the station that's "all 80's, all the time!", and proceed to sing at the top of your lungs.
If your idea of a "great week" is spent on a youth mission trip or at a church camp.
If when at Hardees, you consciously sit next to the kids with blue hair, who are wearing dog collars, in the hope of striking up a conversation, while the rest of the adult customers watch in horror.
If you've ever been described as "phat" at a grocery store, and it was meant to be a compliment.
If you are in your mid-twenties, single, and your dream car is a new mini-van (especially one with TWO sliding doors).
If the only time you see your same-age friends is when they're chaperoning one of your activities.
If you think you've really connected with someone when they give you a wedgy.
If it seems like you constantly offend the elderly of the congregation.
If, when driving the church van on a late night return trip, you turn off the headlights, slam the brakes, and scream at the top of your lungs just to repay a puny portion of the trauma the gang has caused you during the trip.
If you saw a kid take the wrong trail on a hiking trip, but you didn't do anything about it because you wanted him to learn a "valuable lesson on leadership." (Besides, it was pretty funny.)
If you've ever been asked, "Seriously, what do you do during the week?"
If a parent asks, "When will you be getting home?" two months before the trip.
If you've been told by an older member of the congregation that you "speak too fast."
If you've ever had a parent tell you that you didn't know anything (since you didn't have kids), but have them call you the first thing their son/daughter needed "some help."
If while all other people your age are waiting for new releases from Point of Grace and Michael W Smith to come out, you're "into" the W's, Supertones, and DCTalk.
If you actually practice belching before junior high events.
If a great gift idea includes balls, dart boards, or hoops.
If your idea of going to bed early is 11:30 PM.
If after announcing a Lock-In, the entire congregation offers up a special prayer for you.
If youth think of you as a friend so much that they will fart in front of you (both males and females).
If your closest friend has not hit puberty yet.
If phone conversations are like this, "Is (Youth Pastor) there?" "Speaking" "Hey, how are you?" You proceed to talk with them for a 1/2 an hour till you realize who the kid you are talking with is.
If wet willies are still fun to you.
If you have ever had someone tell you, "You will outgrow that job". |
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