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[Jul. 12th, 2005|08:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
i didnt know things could be this bright.
familiarity is back. i wont lie, i missed it.
you put up a good fight, but face it, the battle will never be one.
like i said, she never had shit on me. : )
ohio comes friday night.
do you know how much i am going to miss you?
do you know how much i love you? <3 |
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[Jul. 1st, 2005|09:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
save your poor excuses for your friends.
you know you wanted this.
you know you needed this.
for all those time we felt like just being ourselves, it wasnt enough.
open up your eyes and see youre all i need. |
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[Jun. 28th, 2005|04:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
someone take me to the beach where none of this will matter.
where it wont hurt to care.
where i say i love you and i wont be waiting for an echo that never arrives. |
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| i gotta get up, i gotta get off to get in |
[Jun. 21st, 2005|01:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
so the confusion continues.
i dont even know what im feeling.
i dont even know what im thinking.
i dont even know what im doing.
its hot as fuck and i cant handle it.
ive developed the infamous girl = shoe fetish.
im not supposed to have a shoe fetish.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
thanks for lunch today... |
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[Jun. 21st, 2005|08:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  working | ] |
THE ACTRESS IS BACK!
lights camera action.
wooo! |
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[Jun. 20th, 2005|09:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
ive been sitting here for a half hour now and it seems as if its been 2.
i dont know how to deal.
i read your comments to every little girl you said you didnt talk to.
there you go, taking down my trust again.
i dont even know where to go from here.
im sure ill be writing randomly way too much today.
pardon me.
im just trying to figure myself out. |
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| oh my god for goodness sake, everything i say goes. |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|07:35 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | uncomfortable | ] |
sneaking slowly through the night
outside the air feels like ice to you and i
so for a short time ill come inside
call me crazy but just maybe i could be the one to change your mind
so take a chance
you never want to dwell on what could have been.
cause im taking on every chance that comes around
and every look that thrown my way
got to get up
got to get up to get in and understand why we are superficially conveying life is so good at forgetting me
and where we came from
you know its not so easy now
everyone is scared about it
but you could never live without it
i know you want it so bad
you know i want it so bad
can we see this through till the end of hiding
its safe to carry on
we came for what we wanted now we're gone
believe it i dont want to see you go and i would appreciate a little self control
is this what you wanted me to say i need to know
we're just getting started here
cause im taking on every chance that comes around
and every look that thrown my way
got to get up
got to get off to get in and understand why we are superficially conveying life is so good at forgetting me
and where we came from
oh my god for goodness sake
everything that i say goes
we got one, you know it
im more about myself than i ever throught
id never follow you. |
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[Jun. 8th, 2005|04:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
dont take this with a grain of salt...
The Keys to Your Heart
|
You are attracted to obedience and warmth. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. |
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. |
Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust. |
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now. |
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[Jun. 8th, 2005|12:38 pm] |
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peace the fuck out centennial. |
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[May. 30th, 2005|12:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
this weekend was amazing,
leaving out the fact of a group of certain people who were indulged into the same activities.
dirty looks were funny.
as well as the comments.
but, all and all i had a wonderful weekend.
these next two weeks will bring lots of exciting things.
oh how beautiful. |
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[May. 27th, 2005|03:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
this morning, the 6 ton mass of nothing was taken off my chest.
do you realize?
do you understand? |
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[May. 24th, 2005|12:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blank | ] |
before you build your kingdom in my hands,
i think you should know, theyre made of sand.
when the winds of change come, all youve built will be blown to the ground. |
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[May. 20th, 2005|03:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
once something dies, you cant make it live. |
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| each quarter note, each marble step |
[May. 11th, 2005|11:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
"That was the last time."
"I ALMOST did it. I swear I didnt."
"I dont want to do it anymore."
"Trust me, Im over all of that."
Phrases youve used a couple too many times.
I no longer will ever believe you.
I no longer care about what you do.
I no longer will help, when you ask.
All you have done is lie to me,
and everyone else youve said was close to your heart.
"You dont understand!"
Yeah, I DO understand.
I understand you have a problem with getting spun.
You have a problem with realizing whats more important.
Hitting the pipe v. Friendship
Im tired of playing mom.
Im tired of caring about your well being.
Im tired of trying to push you in the right direction.
Push came to shove and all you did was fall to your knees.
I ask myself why I would waste my time doing it in the first place,
and then I realise, oh, I CARED. (take hard notice on the past tense)
I also was worried about you graduating.
Are you so sure youre going to make that milestone?
This is on you now.
Youre 18 years old.
Youre a big girl.
Im not the only one sick of your lies
and sick of trying to help.
Dont go blaming this on your home life either.
Just because your sister went through this shit,
doesnt mean you have to.
You should have been able to learn.
But apparently not.
Youve got one less person to lie to.
I hope youre fucking happy.
As before, my dissapointment stands.
I hope our silence is deafening.
-----------------------------------
no one seems to understand,
ITS EASY FOR ME TO LET GO. |
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| i need some reception, a higher message, just tell us what to feel. |
[May. 9th, 2005|01:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nauseated | ] |
the subject is now taboo.
like a woman showing her ankles or wrists in the early 1800's.
its okay to hate your creator(s) right?
i miss, i ponder. theres no stopping that.
one day all of this will be nothing but a laugh.
a, "remember when...".
one day.
dont ask for an explanation.
i wont have one.
============================
the baby should be here soon.
im excited.
his name will be Jack.
thats tough enough right?
============================
trip me while im in this robe.
============================
fuck this antidote,
and its nauseating feeling.
============================
So, I've made peace with the falling leaves. I see their same fate in my own body.
But I won't be afraid when I am awoken from this dream and returned to that
which gave birth to me. And the story goes on and on and on and on... |
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[May. 5th, 2005|01:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
gossip is as good as gospel in this town. |
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[May. 4th, 2005|12:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
You say that I treat you like a book on a shelf. I don't take you out that often because I know that I completed you and that's why you are here. That's the reason why you stay here. How awful that must feel. You said you would be my dream I could have you every night and if, by morning, I'd forgotten you, well, no big deal, it would be all right you're the reoccurring kind. You're the reoccurring kind. You never will leave my mind. Are you the love of my lifetime? Because there have been times I've had my doubts. We were just kids when I first kissed you in the attic of my parents house, and I wish we were there now.
I took so long to figure out what this book has been about. Now I write when I'm away letters that you'll never read. You said go explore those other women, the geography of their bodies but there's just one map you'll need. You're a boomerang you'll see. You will return to me. You will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. Because if you don't, then this book is all lies. If you don't, then my plans would all be ruined. If you don't, I'll start drinking like the way I drank before. And I just wont have a future anymore.
take it with a grain of salt.
im missing out on something.
i feel it. |
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[May. 2nd, 2005|03:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
my priorities are straighter then any drunken line you'll ever walk.
face it sweet pea.
youre pathetic.
youre a waste.
it was once the girl or the bottle.
you fucked that up.
hows that bottle treating you?
you can keep banging... but its done.
no more sound will come out of you.
youre as meaningless as the day i left. |
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[Apr. 27th, 2005|01:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  full | ] |
still hasnt started.
yet it needs to come to an end.
truth came in the form of cards last night.
the board showed us no sign of anything after this charade.
you were gorgeous this morning.
the "hurry home" is wonderful everyday.
no note taking tomorrow.
no filing friday.
ive got it made these next 4 days.
i have been glorified. |
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[Apr. 26th, 2005|01:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
walking with only one crutch isnt easy.
hint.
all i want is an arm around me,
and a voice telling me "its okay sweetheart, this will be okay. youll see."
is that what i get?
nah.
i get a "What the hell are you doing writing him back?"
im breahting.
whys that always wrong to you?
every single one of you.
and she flatlines.
_________________ |
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