Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in sipgina's LiveJournal:

Thursday, August 11th, 2005
10:31 pm	Where has all the time gone? So as I sit here in the CRISPAZ office listening to the rain and the music I´m going to miss, only two days removed from my community with only four days left before I enter back into what we affectionatly call gringolandia, I´m tired, a mess of emotions, but I´m laughing a lot. Which is how my Salvadoran family lives life everyday. The last week in my community I spent visiting all of the people and places that have changed me forever. My friend Delmy made sure she saw me at least once a day that whole week. Shes amazing. Shes 11 and took me in as a sister, as the sister I needed and the older sister she never had. She lived accross the street from us with her sweet mother, her drunken father, and her 11 siblings still living here (her mother had 14 children but one died when she was my age and the other two are in the states). She played with my hair, we ate alote (corn), played bate, and just talked. I´m going to miss her; I already do. The same is true for Vilma and her family. I spent most of my last day with them. Vilma´s classes in the National University started the same day I needed to come back. First, we were going to take the bus together, but when I went back to the house, la Niña Berta had already called APROCSAL to tell them that they came to drop me off so they should come pick me up. :) Thats how she is. If she sees an injustice (no matter how small it might be), she doesnt keep quiet. My last night with my family wasn´t really any different than normal, which was perfect, except they made pupusas from arroz, my fave, and my sister gave me a really nice present and sweet card. So I left my family at 8 and Vilma and I came to the city together. She spent the morning with me, the other sippies, and the delegation from the Jesuit Universities. It was so nice to have her there, it was like I could let go of my community a little more slowly. We went to where Romero had lived and the chapel where he was martyred and then to the Cathedral. It was so cool to be there with Vilma. She said that if Romero had not been killed, maybe things wouldn´t be as bad as they are now. She´s the only person studying at the university from our community, and probably the only one that has. She has a scholarship from the organization she worked with as a director of woman´s issues. She always made me feel comfortable, and I will remember her enthusiasm, humor (this girl´s funny), and the peace that she exhudes. It was hard to say goodbye when she left for class, but I know I always have a good friend in her. On Wednesday, we went to the UCA, the University of Central America (the Jesuit university here where the 6 jesuits were murdered with their housekeeper and her daughter) with the delegation. It was so moving to go there after all that´s happened here. We talked to the president of the UCA first (very amazing man) before going to see the museum, then the rose garden where their bodies were found, and finally the chapel where they are buried. We even saw John Sobrino in passing. It was blessing. Then today was a big reunion with all of our families, communities, and organizations. Two from each could come. La Níña Berta and Ana Ruth came along with Julio from APROCSAL. There was a lot of laughing and reflection and tears as we said our goodbyes. It really was an amazing exchange from all sides. Although it really has been a short time, we have all been touched by what unites us: a thirst for justice and love. Plant seeds. So tomorrow morning bright and early we leave for Morazán, a department in the northeast where there was a lot of fighting during the war, and where the masacre of El Mazote took place. Soldiers, many of whom had been trained at the School of the Americas in Georgia, killed over 1,000 campesinos, most of whom were women and children. We go there to learn more, remember what has happened, but especially to reflect on what the heck has happened here these last 2 months and what we are going to do with all of this once we go back. Pray for us. So this is where I´ve been and where I´m at. I hope you are all doing well and living it up. I hope when I return that I can really share this experience with you all. Words are slow and difficult and pictures help, but I really want to share who I am trying to become because of what I have felt here. I´m going to go get some much needed rest, peace. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
7:52 am	Pan de Vida For all of you who don´t habla español, pan de vida is spanish for bread of life. I´ve thought a lot about bread, one of my favorite foods, this last week or so. Last Saturday, I went to go visit Padre Luis´ family. Padre Luis is the pastor at Holy Cross Parish in Soyapongo, which is close to the capital. My parish back home, St. John the Bapist, has a sister relationship with that parish. I went to meet them in Tacachico, the town by my home here, because they were passing through. By they I mean Padre Luis, several members of his family, Sister Terry, a mad cool Maryknoll sister who lives in the parish, Padre Ortiz, a mad cool priest who is a missionary from El Salvador who has been all over the world. It was a beautiful drive to his home in San Isidro Lempa, and it wasn´t too far from where I´m staying. We spent the day eating and talking and resting in hammocks. It was amazing and humbling being in their company. Then at 6 oclock, we headed for the church to celebrate the mass remembering his mother who had died a year ago. I´ve never met her but it seemed the gospel reflected the beauty of her life. It was about how Jesus was able to feed well over 5,000 people (counting women and children) with 5 pieces of bread and 2 fish, with some left over. Padre Luis´mom started baking bread in their home about 20 years ago, and they still do to this day. Those who loved her said at the memorial service how she always shared whatever she had, including and especially the bread she baked for her community. It seems that those who have little share what they have and those who have much share what they can spare. I´m guilty of it too. I´ve learned that here. But just imagine if God can feed more than 5,000 people with 5 pieces of bread, what we can do through God with all that we´ve been given. In the way back to San Jorge on the bus the next day, I shared some Mamones (a very yummy fruit I´m going to miss) with the woman sitting next to me. She turned out to be from San Jorge, my community, and it was so nice to be able to share that beautiful bus ride with her. The verb to share in spanish is compartir. I remember learning that when I came 2 years ago for 3 weeks to visit my brother. I spent some time in a day care in the mornings and the kiddos were always asked to compartir. Its a beautiful thing to do. I´m glad I´ve had the opportunity to share what I´ve thought about and what I´ve experienced so far here with ya´ll :) whoever is reading. Thanks for reading. So I go back to my community for these last few days. I´m leaving there on the 8th to come back to the capital for some meetings and a retreat. I´m finally starting to feel like I fit here somehow and now my time is almost up. But I still have time to say thank you, to eat more tomales, to see the beautiful mountains and flowers that spring up out of nowhere and everywhere, to experience more tastes and smells and sounds and laughter. There´s always more to say, but I wish you days full of life. Oh and please pray or dance for rain, my community could use some for the maiz. Peace and Love to you all. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 25th, 2005
9:46 pm	Simple Gifts It´s amazing, the power of simple gifts. I´ve experienced many simple gifts this last week. Last Monday, I was emotionally fried. I don´t really know why or what made me hit a low on that day, but I needed to get over what was preventing me from experiencing what Father Fortuna, a rapping priest from the Bronx, calls FAMILY... Forget About Me I Love You. I was getting to a point where I was feeling useless both in the home and community I´m living in. I was also feeling lonely. However, after talking with Nelson, one of the program´s main directors and all around cool guy, I realized that it isn´t really about me. Like I saw on a bus here the other day, God is love, and we are all an extention of that love. It´s as simple as that. That was my first simple gift. I went back to my community with my eyes more open to the fact that I was holding back and holding in and with a slightly new vision, I´ve seen more and more simple gifts. On Tuesday morning, I was dancing with the profesora and 12 of her students in kinder to whatever song came on the radio. It was hilarious and fabulous. :) In the afternoon, I forgot to bring water, and I only had three cents. I started getting thirsty, so I asked one of the girls, Maria Luz, how much a refresco cost. She said a colón (which is the money they used to use until dolarization in 2000 drove up prices as our money was driven into this country that didn´t necesarily want it). A colón traslates to about 12 cents. When she and her friends realized I didn´t have enough money, with excited wispers, they gathered what they had and gave me the remaining 9 cents. It was one of the most beautiful gifts I´ve ever received, and they were so happy to give it to me. On Wednesday, I went to a meeting with la Niña Berta about empowering women. An organization called CORDES is organizing programs to help communities earn extra money through growing fruit and also processing the milk they get from their cows. Through these programs, they are also having sessions every week about gender equality and women´s rights. Women do not have the same rights as men here, not even close. So it was beautiful to be a part of the meeting. In my small group towards the end, I was one of the only ones who could read and write so I wrote our answers to the questions they asked about the roles of men and women. It was very humbling. On the bus ride back, I chatted with a woman from Ita - Maura, a nearby community, who was at the meeting. As she shared mamónes (one of the best fruits on the face of the earth), she was telling me about how her community has a twinning relationship with a parish from the states. It was cool to hear her talk about it. She also told me about how difficult it is in El Salvador to get by, but no matter what she was telling me, her eyes were full of acceptance and hope at the same time. So beautiful. On Friday, the other SIPies (the other volunteers here) came to visit. :) I´m glad they got to see San Jorge and meet some of my family here. It´s hard to put it all into words sometimes. Friday night after they left, I spent the night eating and laughing and talking with the people I have realized I am forever connected to. As we were eating corn that Don Salvador brought from their field, a neighbor came by asking if they had any eggs. Niña Berta said she didn´t have any but in the end, offered her a young chicken instead. Saturday night, I went to a prayer service held by a family whose son had died a year ago after being hit by a car while riding his bike. They pray every year for nine years after a death. It was definitely a celebration with most of the community there. They read from the bible, spoke about what it meant to them, prayed, sang, danced and ate tomales. :) It was another gift of community. I spent Sunday with Vilma. She invited me the night before to come to her house so we could practice English a little. Well, I came to give a little and gained a whole family of friends in the process. Vilma is amazing. She is the only one in her family to go to the university, probably one of the few in the community. She told me many stories of what she has learned from her family, from working with women, which she loves to do, and from just living. She´s studying journalism because she said she can be close to the people. This is what I am slowly learning to do. God is love and everyday, there are small expressions of that love you might not even notice. I look forward to coming home (maybe more than I should), but I know it will be difficult. All of my senses have been touched here in a way I could not expect and have trouble explaining. I hope in these next 3 weeks I begin understanding how I can live in these gifts everyday. This entry is much longer than I expected it to be but I´m glad I could share all of this with all of you. I´ll close with some exciting news: there is a name for the creature that has been causing the havoc in my gastointestinal system. The good lab people told me today this parasite is called blastocystis hominis, but I like to call him blasty. Haha oh the joys of living here in this country full of tragedy and full of love, ugliness and beauty, pain and joy. I hope your summers are going well. Look out for those small gifts and give some too. (Comment on this)
Monday, July 18th, 2005
8:12 am	Close to Creation ¡Muy buenos dias, señor lunes! That is what the children in Kinder are saying right about now. That translates to good morning Mr. Monday. :) Its been an amazing experience so far to get to know the Salvadoran people, especially through the family Im living with. How they live, what has happened in the past, what they hope for in the future, and how they fight for justice everyday. One of the things Ive noticed is how close they live to the earth. When Niña Berta went to Spain for two weeks to meet and organize with Manos Unidos, she said the houses were closed up, "encerrado". Here, most of the time they are outside but also in their house as well. That sounds confusing but being in their home doesnt seem to end once youre not within its walls. Because they dont have electricity or plumbing really, though they do have running water, they really do live simply. I guess Ive learned that living simply doesnt mean living without but living with what you have, what you need, and using it wisely. Niña Berta told me the other day that shes never been to see a doctor. Whenever she feels ill, she either eats a mango or drinks a mixture that she makes from leaves or other fruits. She has taken some of the natural medicine that APROCSAL, the organization Im working with, makes. Its inexpensive, about a dollar a bottle, and they have it at the first-aid clinic in the community. This week I read Mountains Beyond Mountains. Its a book written by Tracy Kidder about a man named Paul Farmer. His story is amazing. He has worked for 20 years, primarily in Haiti, but all over the world providing superior medical care to those the rest of the world has forgotten. Its an amazing look at what a preferencial option for the poor, or as Farmer calls it, o for the p, really is. Theres a quote from one of Farmers heroes, Rudolf Virchow that made me want to be a doctor more than anything. "Medical education does not exist to provide students with a way of making a living, but to ensure the health of the community." "The physicians are the natural attorneys of the poor, and the social problems should largely be solved by them." I wrote in my journal, "It really makes me think. He devotes everything he is, has and has learned to the practice of medicine. He might be seen as crazy but reading about him made me cry, laugh, and feel a little anxious. God, I want to do the work of your hands. I know I can do it, but then being here has made me question. It{s not going to be easy or pretty but I want to do it. I just need you to give me strength and guide my steps. Teach me to love your people." So thats where I am now. Questioning. And missing my family and friends back home. Thats partly why Im questioning because I miss you all so much. But theres been some memories Ive made I wont forget. Like when it rained so hard and then afterwards I played in the puddles with Delmi and two of her 14 siblings, Lupe and Blanca. We also threw the biggest rocks we could find into the creek that was running pretty fast. They insisted on finding rocks for me :) Even the children do everything for me. It was beautiful. On Saturday, I spent the afternoon talking to Oscar. He broke his leg last December in an accident with a cow, Im not sure what happened, but he had to miss a whole year of school because of it. But hes been studying English on his own and he knows a boatload he just has trouble with the pronounciation. It was nice to be able to talk to him because I think he understands my struggle with expressing myself in Spanish. I gave him the prayerbook from SLU that I had. It was nice to be able to give for once too. :) His familys really religious. His parents are head of the church committee. They are still lacking funds to finish their church but its simplicity is beautiful. I want to be here and I want to be there. The investigation has slowed down since there was so much rain this week and there were local elections yesterday. But I have a meeting today with APROCSAL so well see. I hope you all are doing well. Well I better head to the meeting. Peace out. (Comment on this)
Monday, July 11th, 2005
12:37 am	Missing In Action Tonight I am tired but I want to write. I need to write. I have learned a lot in the last week about my community and the family I´m living in, maybe this journal entry tells it better than I can now. July 7th Dear God, Wow. It´s hard to put into words. Today, I slept in (til 7:30) because I was tired from the journey back yesterday. I was going to go to the school but when I got there, Vilma was there just watching the children play, it was like I was supposed to meet her there. She´s a super cool 20 year-old that lives across the street from the tienda. When we went to the futbol game a few Friday nights ago, she asked me to help her with her English because she´s in journalism and there are things she needs to read that are written in English. So I followed her to her house. She´s so friendly and her family is super cool, and super big. They just kept coming and going. They gave me a whole bowl of watermelon, too. Yummy! I think I´m giong to be eating a lot of watermelon [and I have] because they´re harvesting it now. She told me she has problems with arthritis and her whole body hurts sometimes. Man, even physically her life is more difficult than mine. I came back around 11:30 and helped pull off the leaves of chimcupa for the soup. She said they recommend it because it has a lot of vitamins. It gave the soup a distinctive taste...it was good. I decided to go to the school after lunch because I haven´t been in awhile. So I went and it went well. :) I taught English, again. We played Simon manda / Simon says to learn the body parts. It was pretty fun. I´m not a very good teacher but it´s fun to get to know the students. They´re all so unique it and don´t hide it one bit. I came back to the house about 3 to go with Anabel to Tacachico to talk with Roberto, a worker in the fábrica. He´s been working there since the beginning, almost 2 years now. He asked me if he would have to write anything because he can´t. I told him no, just tell me what you can and I´ll write down as much as I understand, which was most of what he said. He didn´t come last Sunday because he was sick. But today he told me a lot about how the fábrica works. Why do the rich treat the poor like slaves? Yesterday I talked to another woman that was working in the fábrica but had to quit because she got sick from the water they offered her while they were drinking purified water. grrr. We came back to the house a pie (by foot) because the bus had passed and ate supper when the sun went down. Afterwards, la Niña Berta told me so much about the past. She talked about the war and how they killed her husband. They took him at the bus stop and kept him for 3 days torturing him before he died. She was 7 months pregnant and had 6 other children at the time. He was a singer in the church and 3 of their children were catechists. These children, all girls, were disappeared soon after their dad was killed. One she heard was stranggled at la Punta del Diablo, where I´d been the day before, but she still doesn´t know what happened to the other two. She said a ot of what happened wouldn´t have happened without the help of the U.S. She said that El Salvador is like a colony of the U.S. She also talked about the dolarization, how they did not ask the people if they wanted the dolar they just changed it and everthing became more expensive because the people did not understand the new system. And she talked about the U.S. being in Iraq. Wow. She walks the walk and talks the talk... I don´t know what to say or do but I´m so thankful to be here. It´s so beautiful to hear her speak. It´s hard too. Anabel was only 7 when her father died. Please be with my family at home. I miss them and can´t wait to share this experience more fully with them. I had a dream that there was this big party with all these people I knew and I spent time talking to everyone of them. I want to do that. I want to appreciate the people in my life. I want to share this experience everyday. Thank you. Grant me strength and peace. Love, Gina So I´m still here. There´s a lot of things missing in my actions. Sometimes there´s strength missing - I feel tired and hot. Sometimes there´s understanding missing - I´m in a completely different culture with a different language. Sometimes there´s patience missing - I get bored or frustrated. But what´s not missing is God. God is so present in the lives of these people whether they acknowledge it or not. God´s here with me too whether I acknowledge it or not. So I have another month. I want it to go fast, I want it to go slow, I want it "to go" but skip the fries and through in some tortillas. It´s wierd and beautifull and ackward and amazing and frustrating and lonely and crowded and chevere (cool) here. I just hope this next month is full of as many breathtaking experiences as the last. Peace out I´m off to bed. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
8:26 pm	What am I doing here? The answer to that question is simple and at the same time complicated, very complicated. I realized this morning during our meeting with the whole CRISPAZ team that that´s not even really the question I should be asking myself. It´s more like why am I here? I am here to accompany el pueblo, the people, learn their story and their way of life so I can carry it with me always, especially when I´m back in the first world. I´m not really here to "help" or to give, I think that will come later. I´m just here to be here. I´m here to learn why every morning Doña Berta greets me with a smile and a ¿Qué tal hermanacita? (How are you little sister) no matter how early she woke up. Why no matter how hard I try to give something to them, they are already giving me more. Why they have suffered so much, thanks to many of the efforts of my country, and still struggle everyday to survive, while maintaining hope and love. I am here to investigate the contamination of the river that runs near my house and my neighbors use to bathe and wash their clothes. But my efforts here will not bring a solution to the problem, but one day seeds I am trying to plant will grow. Romero, whose face is at the center of the cross that hangs above the door to my home here, said something like that once in his beautiful prayer. I have been trying to meet with workers of the factory that is contaminating the rivers but as of yet, no one has showed. They have fear, and rightly so perhaps, that they could lose their jobs there that, although they only pay 4 or 5 dollars a day, allow their family to get by. So I´m going to go with my salvadoran sister, Anabel, to talk to them in their homes. She is so cool. She stays at home because someone needs to milk the cows every morning, someone needs to help her mom make the food and wash the clothes and sweep the dirt and take care of her nephew because her dad died in the war. She had a good job but when her brother and sister left for the states and 2 of her other sisters had their own families, she was the one to take on the job. Her younger sister helps out too but she goes to school and spends time with friends too. Never does Ana complain but instead is obedient and humble and patient. Wow. I am here to listen. My family and almost every family here has a rich and sad story to tell. Not only of their past but also of their present and future realities. The civil war here that lasted supposedly from 1980 until the peace accords were signed in 1992 was long and bloody and full of injustice and cruelty. That still effects the present, as does many other injustices and difficulties, especially in the campo. Producing a sustainable crop that will not only feed your family but also allow you to buy the necesities is close to impossible especially now that the main objective is to industrialize the country. This means more beautiful factories like the one I´m investigating, especially if CAFTA passes. The future of the country is full of insecurities, though the president here claims its full of opportunities. With the main export being immigrants to the United States and the main import being the money they send back, a self-sustaining "democracy" seems far off, especially since the political right continues using its economic power to gain political power. I am here to laugh. There is still hope, there is always the struggle, and there are little children to play with. Doña Berta giggles like shes 5 but she´s nearing 60 and has been through more than I can comprehend. There´s so much laughing in the house, it´s beautiful, much more beautiful than the roosters crowing or the turkeys gobbling. ;) I´m still learning the tempo of the campo and I´m learning the name of a new fruit everyday, but most of all, I´m learning that I´m learning. I think in the U.S. we have a focus on doing and not sharing. On reaching a goal and not enjoying the struggle. On success and not all the amazing people we meet along the way. I´m surrounded by amazing people here, and I miss all the amazing people at home. I´m not sure how you all celebrated the Fourth of July. I was sick, haha. But I hope while you were watching the fireworks or bbqing or playing cornhole that you were thankful for the chance to live. The saying goes that the early bird gets the worm. The people in the campo of El Salvador get the worm, but they don´t get to enjoy it. They understand how to live but cannot live as easily as I have. Just be thankful for what you have everyday and just accompany each other in this great adventure we call life! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
10:17 pm	I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas! Yesterday, I taught my 30 English students this song from my childhood. Its very true as well, hahaha. I most definitely love fruit and Ive eaten a lot of it here, especially mangos right off the tree next to the house. yummy. But the taste of fruit is not as sweet as the look on Delmis face when she invites me to play bate (baseball) with her and her classmates. Let me try to explain what Ive been up to and why I feel so close to the children. Mainly, because I feel like a child here. Every minute a new experience, a new word, a new smell, a new feeling. Thats probably why I hang out with Necta so much. Hes about 6 and loves to play chibolla (marbles) and build houses out of cardboard cards, while he sings. Im getting better at both. hahaha. Thats after we go to school, if there is school. Yesterday was somewhat of a typical day, even though everyday is different. At 430 or so, when the first bit of light reaches the sky, the rooster starts to crow. The noise gets louder and is accompanied by the chicken jumping down from their beds in the trees. The dog will probably bark a few times too before la Niña Berta, the mother of the house, wakes up by 530. She starts the fire and begins breakfast because Anabel and Don Salva will leave at 6 to go milk the cows. Some of the milk will be used to make cheese and the rest will go to the cooperative they are a part of. Gris is getting ready for high school and when she turns off the radio at 630, I get out of bed. Necta is usually up with Niña Berta because they share a bed, while I have a huge one all to myself. I shower under the spout in the back and later Niña Berta brings me a breakfast of beans, cheese, tortillas, fried platanos, and pan frances (white bread rolls). Were off to school by 8 and there singing, playing, dancing, counting, and learning until 1130. I think the teacher enjoys company. She tells me about how hard the life is and how hard it is for the students to have the money for notebooks and other school supplies. They were collecting money at the school for a sick woman in the town, but she died on Friday. So sad. The children here are just like those in the States. They want to be loved, to see, and to play. We go home for lunch of salad and eggs with tomatoes and peppers and tortillas, and a little rest. This is when I plan a little for my English class at the school that is from about 130 until 3, after prayers and welcome with the older students. I dont know what Im doing but we laugh a lot, espcially at me. hahaha. Then at recess, we play bate while they have snacks they buy from a vendor who comes to the school. Then after more class and cleaning up the school because they dont have a janitor, they go home about 5. This is just enough time to put my things down and go to the prayer. During the month of June, they say the rosary and sing at a different house everyday to celebrate the Sacred Heart of Jesus, just after the men return from the fields and before the women begin supper. Its beautiful to hear their hard but soft voices sing of forgiveness. Then after a supper of pupusas, which Niña Berta said she would teach me how to make :), I talk to my sisters and her about the cultural differences and we laugh about everything and nothing and my Spanish. I go to bed pretty early. It seems 9 is my bedtime, like when I was a kid. I feel more useful when it comes to the investigation of the contamination in the river. Ive come back to the capital twice for meetings with APROCSAL, the health organization Im working with. Last week, Javier, Nelson, and Chris from CRISPAZ came to visit and help me along in the investigation. We talked to a worker and since then, Ive talked to another. While they dont know much about the chemicals they are using or when they dump them out into the river, they do know about the conditions and pay they receive. The factory is owned by Israelis and 8 other Salvadoran companies. They are hydroponically producing Beef tomatoes, for use on those juicy hamburgers, and peppers primarily for exportation to Canada and with CAFTA, to the US as well. The workers do not receive any form of protection from the chemicals that kill fish when they are dumped into the same river they bathe and wash their clothes in. They receive $4 for 8 hours of work without water and many times when they go to the bank to cash their checks, the money isnt there. Its enough to make me yell. Its nice to be able to just be. I dont know whether to laugh or to cry or to smile or to offer a face of stone. But its nice to just sit and be here, learning and offering what I can, which isnt much. Ill close with two reflections from the book Im reading, One Day of Life by Manlio Argueta. It "depicts a typical day in the life of a peasant family caught up in the terror and corruption of civil war in El Salvador." At one point, the National Guard has come to Lupes home in search of her 15 year old grandaughter who went to town to buy a few items. While they are waiting to "ask her a few questions," which really means beat out the desire to ask questions, Lupe offers them some water. She says, "Water is sacred and one shoudnt deny it even to the devil." Amen, sister. While I dont feel like I can offer more than my prayers and my presence sometimes, I hope my efforts can one day provide cleaner water for my neighbors. I have learned the sacredness of water, and of light. At another point, Lupe explains that "Not to see another persons mouth moving, not to see their eyes, its like talking with the dead.... The dead are made for that, to live in the shadows. We living people are something else." Yet I have had many conversation in the shadows with my family, since they dont have electricity. They are not dead though there are many people who choose to think they do not exist, that their lives are less valuable. I have no idea what the rest of my time here will bring. I hope it will bring more understanding, so that a fire can be ignited within me that will spread light on the faces here for the people there to see. I want to learn to be in the fight like Niña Berta, to laugh like Griselda, to be humble like Anabel, to smell like earth like Necta, and to live in peace and revolution like Jesus. I love and miss you all. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
9:35 pm	Learning the tempo of the campo Wow a lot has happened in a little amount of time. Even though life moves slower in the campo, so much happens everyday that makes me think or makes me sad or makes me laugh that if it moved any faster, I don´t know if I could handle it. The fist week we were here, we were introduced to some of the Salvadoreñan reality. We visited the chapel where Oscar Romero was killed along with his humble home. We also went to Just Garments, a unionized factory. It´s amazing what they had to go through to get where they are - to get some of the rights they diserve. We also visited the FMLN museum, which offered a powerful look at the 12 year Civil War through pictures and movies. We also had the opportunity to learn about El Salvador´s past as well as its present and what could happen in the future if CAFTA passes. One thing is for sure, it will definitely effect the people who live in the rural areas that I have already come to love. The first meal I shared at the home of la Niña Berta was large and gracious but also not vegetarian friendly. After eating the chicken that is somewhat of a luxury for them, I felt sick and sad and scared. I feel foolish for admitting that, but it´s nerveracking being so suddenly immersed in a reality so different from your own. I live with la Niña Berta, a strong and beautiful woman who has endured much in her 57 years, including the death of her husband in the war. I have some trouble understanding her because she speaks softly and smoothly, like many people in the community. Two of her daughters live there as well, Anabel and Griselda, who are 20 something and 17. They´ve been so nice to me and I´ve enjoyed talking to them. They have several other siblings who live elsewhere, including the US. One of these sibling´s son lives in the house as well. He´s 6 and I´ve been accompaning him to the school. It´s very small and there are only 2 teachers so they join the grades together and have a morning and an afternoon session. In the afternoon, I´ve been teaching English to the 3rd and 4th graders. They are a lot of fun. I taught them the Hokey Pokey and they taught me their version of hot potato (papa caliente). The people of the community have been very welcoming and give me the best of everything. I have spoken with a few peolpe about the contamination of the rivers, which is what they want me to investiage. One of the people I´ve spoken with was the health promoter of San Jorge, the community I´m living in, which is about an hour and a half northwest of San Salvador. She also showed me the small medical clinic that opens every two months when a doctor comes with APROCSAL, the organization I´m working with, which has been a great help thus far to San Jorge. I´ll include a little of my journal as well. This is from June 12. Dear God, Thank you for this beautiful day. I woke up with Gris at 5:30 this morning to go to church at 7. It´s crazy how early they get up, but I guess you get used to it. I go to bed at my mom´s bedtime now. Speaking of which, I miss them. I just want to be able to talk to someone intimately in a language I can completely understand. I was reminded of how you´re always here, though, in church this morning. I want to see you again in everything. During the homily today, the priest was talking about how the U.S. is like Egypt and the Salvadoreaños are like the Isrealites. Why is my country so egotistical? Why do we continue to ignore so many in our search for our own well being that is quickly decreasing? So many questions. After mass, I went to a pupuseria with Gris and two of her friends. The pupusas were good and her friends were nice. We came back in this crazy pickup. Then I was going to wash my clothes but Niña Berta insisted that she would and wow how clean she made them! She´s amazing. After playing marbles with Necta, I read for awhile in the hammock, how peaceful. After another fabulous lunch with Niña Berta in which she always shares her wisdom, we went to a service at their chapel in the community. It was so beautiful and humbling how they sung and celebrated. They do not have enough money to finish building the chapel, but how their applause echoed when they greeted me so warmly. I feel like a little child here. All I can do is smile and take it all in and try to communicate my experience as well. Bless them all, God, and give me strength. Buenas noches. Love, Gina (Comment on this)