i am so gratefull the women at the meeting were so friendly & welcoming! i found some women that will be willing to take me to meetings and i now have a sponsor! YAY!!!

 i  recieved my 2 year chip last night.  it felt good to be back @ my home group & around the people i love

 i'm sooooo happy i get to see jeff tomorrow! and get to spend the weekend with him! i'm kinda scared though because i'm afraid that after waking up in his arms i wont want to come home! it's so unfair that i couldnt stay in sacramento with him, but thats my fault, i should have just stayed @ promise house & dealt with all the bullshit!

I'm comming to realize that nothing outside of myself will make me happy. I have to find inner peace in order to be truly happy. I have started letting go of old baggage in order to achieve my goal of inner peace.

i went to counseling today and i feel waaaaaaaaay better! i was able to get some of my frustration out. the feeling of being uncomfortable is gone, and i discovered that alot of my anger stems from my dad being an alcoholic and allowing this disease to take his life at a young age. funny how when we ware kids we say we wont be like our parents and we end up just like them. although my dad was able to manage his life and mine became so un-managble that i ended up in prison.

i often wonder if in this life i will ever meet someone who understands the true meaning of friendship!? it seems that my whole life i put in 100% & those that call me a friend only put in 20% i guess the real question is why do i allow people into my world that dont give back as much as i put in? it's time for me to take a look at that, and give myself a boost of self-esteem so i pick better friends!

this whole sobriety thing is alot harder than i thought it would be, but i refuse to give up & go back to the way i was before!

I'm new to live journal & i'm not sure really what to post, so i guess i can start with just saying hi & that i'm excited about this site! =)