-so like candy- [entries|friends|calendar] Kittling [ website | Silverkat's DJ ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(1 lucky soul ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Oh man] [13 May 2008|11:44am] [ mood | weird ] If someone doesn't nail my feet to the floor soon, I'm gonna float away.

(1 lucky soul ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [This made me LOL] [13 May 2008|11:37am] [ mood | dorky ] Reading through old emails from boredom [well, most procrastination] and I came across this gem, which pretty much summarized my relationship with these three people during my years at Manhattanville. Why did the chicken cross the road? Youta: "He crossed because no one loved it." Redd: "The buildings were burning on it's side of the road!" Steve: "'Cause he was bored and 'cause he felt like it. And to hear the guitar solo better." Oh man. Those were the days.

(3 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [The internet gives me whatever I want. Really] [13 May 2008|10:50am] [ mood | excited ] [ music | [Particle Man] They Might Be Giants ] REBOOT. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG So. Excited. In OTHER news...who else wants to jump on the Vancouver bandwagon? As some of you may already know, Jesse and I are in the infancy of planning to move to Canada for school, and I happened to hear from a certain little Pixie that Vancouver might be just the place. I already heard that Andrea and Cousin Sam would totally be up for it, not to mention Jesse's parents really want to move to Victoria Island. What is this? A metropolitan area nestled in between the mountains and the ocean with the potential for cheap school and free universal health care as well as an economy where the DOLLAR IS WORTH MORE THAN IN THE US... Yeah. Yeah. I'll have what she's having, thanks.

(6 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Clearly, some people are more clever than I ] [11 May 2008|12:21am] [ mood | amused ] ...If you can get away with charging $600.00 for one of these. Part of me sincerely hopes this is an internet prank. The other half of me thinks that using a "the emperor clearly is wearing clothes for those who are deep enough to understand the aesthetic meaning behind perceived nudity" on a perfectly blank canvas is a brilliant way to make some money if someone wants to be hip enough to buy it.

(1 lucky soul ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [...] [29 Apr 2008|02:42am] Whether you       choose to believe me or not believe that         what                                   I perceive is my reality and                           right now there                                         is a            film on it all        thin and                sticky wax paper clinging like latex peeling away and underneath             it                          is the underbelly of everything                                                                                                                                                                    that no one                                                                                        ever                     is supposed to see and I keep                     trying to                   put                 it back but I already                             saw it and I know it's                     there and it  keeps        peeling back     and                peeling                               back

(2 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Updates and flashbacks] [21 Apr 2008|12:37pm] [ mood | hopeful ] So, recently reading the scribbled bits that people wrote in my high school yearbook was far more of a shock then I was expecting [in that I wasn't expecting to be shocked at all.] I either must have been delightfully and infuriatingly oblivious to the world, or just failed to read most of what people wrote, because there was most certainly an entry or two written in such a heartfelt manner from people I didn't realize even paid that much attention to me in high school that it almost makes me want to go back and acknowledge them for it. Perhaps the third alternative to all of this is the fact that oblivious student writing to oblivious student, we all may have believed that true intentions had been masked by the words on the page, but time and insight and training for years since on how to read people and to ignore words for true meaning may have exposed sentiments that were hidden like invisible ink messages now exposed to the light. If that's the case then I have reason to be pretty damn proud because it means I've made some intellectual progress after all. Not that it didn't take a while, because to be fair, in retrospect college wasn't much better. I don't think I have ever had a period in my life since then where my intentions were so misunderstood and where I misunderstood those around me so grossly while being thoroughly convinced that I knew exactly what was going on. The things I said, people I confused and opportunities I missed still irk me from time to time to this day. In other news, the beautiful summer weather we've been having has certainly lifted my spirits, as has the opportunity to go outside and work on our garden, which hopefully will not be a bust this year. Coming soon to a backyard near me: spinach, herbs, peas, corn and zucchini, as well as morning glories, sunflowers and a pond complete with goldfish and water lilies. I am most excited. Hopefully the next fall semester will be my last as an undergraduate. I keep kicking around the idea in my head that if I had some kind of ridiculously lucky lottery-esque windfall that one of the things I would do is take an entire month off during the summer from both school and work just to goof off, lounge, visit people and places, eat sushi and make art. Yes, that would be fabulous. Let's see if I can make it happen...

(11 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [rant for me] [07 Apr 2008|03:07pm] [ mood | cold ] The more I am exposed to the sheer stupidity and cruelty of human beings in this world, the more I wish to go off with Jesse to a farm somewhere on an island and start an art commune. No seriously. Fuck you world and your stupid ideals and force fed morals. Fuck it in the fucking eye, because I know I can lead a more fulfilling life without it.

(...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [suddenly it all makes sense!] [01 Feb 2008|02:47pm] [ mood | giggly ] I see where I went wrong. I obviously should have been born inside of a bollywood love story musical number. I should at least find a way to take a vacation in one. That and a masquerade ball. Maybe together. YES.

(9 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [playful] [01 Feb 2008|03:26am] [ mood | hyper ] [ music | Maahi Ve ] Man, I need to start updating this thing more. The past when viewed through the lens of livejournal is so much shinier and dramatic than I remember it to be...Maybe because I'm reading things about myself that happened such a long time ago, my brain seems to think that it's entirely a story about someone else, and therefore more exciting. Perhaps updating on a more regular basis will mean that I will have more excuses to have ridiculous adventures. After all, there's never a better time to be completely irresponsible and childish than the most inconvenient moment one can think of.

(2 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Cloverfield: Because it's the hip thing to do] [26 Jan 2008|04:44am] [ mood | drained ] Yes. Yes there are shaky cameras. GET OVER IT. I think that anyone who complains about the camcorder shakiness is missing the entire point of the movie: to capture the very real emotions of a moment in time for these people in this time and place. The erratic motions that the camera goes through only serves to put you right in the middle of the action, and god damn, if you feel nauseous from how much jumping falling and ALMOST DYING is going on, how do you think you would feel if you were experiencing these things firsthand? I love how everything that you DON'T see in this movie because of how the camera is dropped or put down or swung wildly about contributes just as beautifully to this story as what you do end up seeing. Not to mention the way the previous recording serves as a transition between scenes, how else can you cut up what is supposed to be a seamless recording? Not to mention that despite the fact that we are most certainly convinced that this is all being filmed by someone who is more terrified out of his wits than caring about composition, you do get a lot of shots in there that are VERY aesthetically pleasing. As for everything else, I was pleased with how the entire film went down. I was certainly moved for the characters, and choked up more than once at the raw exposed humanity brought on by this tragedy. Oh, and by the way, September 11th allusions anyone? More than just a few. Most likely what made this film really hit close to home, because there are just certain news media images that have become burned into parts of our brains that we would much rather not be reminded of, which makes seeing things that are so painfully similar so difficult to watch. I don't think this monster movie could have generated any kind of awe or fear if it didn't tap into these scars on the New York psyche, though I would be very interested to see how this movie was received much farther from the epicenter of the attacks. Oh and if that all wasn't enough, the movie is a damn scavenger hunt with clues ABOUNDING both in the film and in the media connections outside of it as to what the true story was. Left the theater feeling like things were left unexplained? They were subversive, but there were certainly clues, and any search run on Google will pull up sites pointing fans in the direction of tie-in mock websites featuring everything from deep-ocean drilling to a disturbingly addictive slurpee drink. In short, see this, but with an open mind, not regarding the content but rather the format. And pay attention to EVERYTHING so you can come up with your own conclusions to assertively argue to your friends. Enjoy.

(2 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Sometimes, I can be susceptible to being misled] [06 Jan 2008|12:33pm] [ mood | embarrassed ] Sometimes, I get so aggravated with my overly high expectations of those people who choose the lifestyle which my dear Redd would call that of the "visually deviant." More and more I see that despite the fact that I am often initially pulled towards them out of intrigue and curiosity, or even admiration at their counter culture ensembles, the more disappointed I am that they are often every bit as shallow, unintelligent and uninteresting as the rest of the lowing herd. Don't get me wrong, I love to dress up retarded-ly and wear wings and masks and crazy stockings and such, and so many of my friends, but I am fairly certain that I am correct in saying that it is an extension of our open-mindedness, artistic nature, and intelligence. Still, I think that I've been spoiled, starting with Redd and continuing with the people I continue to call my friends. Redd was an amazing head trip with or without her lovely crazy costumes, but I suppose the fact that I've come to associate intelligent crazy people with decadently crazy outsides, I continue to be disappointed. Which I suppose makes me shallow to an extent, if you believe that I am judging a book by its cover. But I still believe that what has really taken place is that I have learned to associate a certain boldness and devil-may-care attitude when it comes to visual self-expression, I suppose with an interesting artistic and intellectual mind. And time and time again, I end up being disappointed, or even disgusted. So I suppose in conclusion I would like to give a big "Fuck you" to everyone who has unwittingly misled me into taking a second glance and nothing more than spiderwebs, and BORING spiderwebs at that, and also a big "THANK YOU" to all of you [Redd, Timbre, Chris, Andrea, and EVERYONE to which the positives of this rant apply] who keep me on my toes and keeping an eye out for the other lovely crazies out there.

(2 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [This won the random exchange of the evening award] [06 Jan 2008|12:31pm] [ mood | amused ] Kittling: Hey Jesse? Wolf: Yeah? Kittling: Remember that time, that time I made Pangaea? Wolf: Yeah? Kittling: That was a good day... Wolf: ...

(7 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Dualities] [23 Dec 2007|12:39pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | [Swallow] Emillie Autumn ] Small happy: I am making pseudo-Venetian masks for Jesse and meself for the Dresden Dolls New Year's show, which I was recently informed would be a masquerade. I am currently [finally] in possession of the Petals from the Torture Garden coat which I have been lusting over for a while now, which will be worn at said show. Today I will buy a bird feeder because I need to have animal friends. School is over, nearly. The more I know, the more I know. I understand myself and the people around me to a greater complexity every single day. After being brought out of the cave, there is simply no way I could ever go back to living in the darkness. Wriggling Irksome things: Tomorrow, parent's house. Though I am no longer afraid of going, it has been replaced with a dread of the low-stim environment which is being in their presence. Realizing that 90% of the conflict between the 'rents and I probably came from the fact that they had a kid who was too smart for her own good, and who couldn't keep happy in not only an oppressive and antagonistic, but creatively and intellectually stifled environment. Still have not heard from the Wolf. I think his phone may not be in service where he is. You all know what this does to me. Entering into hermit phase one. Still have not heard from the Wolf. I am agitated and preoccupied. The more I know, the more I know. I understand myself and the people around me to a greater complexity every single day. After being brought out of the cave, there is simply no way I could ever go back to living in the darkness.

(4 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) Chose Again [19 Nov 2007|10:43pm] Religion. Politics. Beliefs. Conceptions. Everything you know Choose again. Everything you think Choose again. Everything you love Choose again. Everything you are Choose again. For without contemplation comes stagnation, the end of growth, evolution, and all movement towards enlightenment. And even as you choose to do this Choose again.

(1 lucky soul ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Intermission] [09 Nov 2007|06:01pm] [ mood | busy ] Sorry to everyone for not being around...School keeps me ridiculously busy and so does work, and there's been a lot going on when it comes to managing all that. Learning a great deal, about myself, the world, and things of that nature. I always feel better during those periods of growth and learning, because the feelings of stagnation in between are almost unbearable. Trying to make time to art more. Trying to find a way to graduate next semester. Trying not to let the trivial things made into enormous things by brides at work get to me and drive me crazy. Trying to spend more time with the Wolf. Trying to let my friends know that they still mean much to me, though I have less time to share with them lately. Trying not to let time eat up my life, and working on the appropriate antidotes. You know, the usual.

(6 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Strung Out] [23 Sep 2007|10:51pm] [ mood | numb ] Tonight, I feel like such poison.

(...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Strings] [21 Sep 2007|09:52pm] [ mood | geeky ] So. Then that means that the key to being able to use magic, real magic in everyday life, in our real world, is to be able to fully understand and harness the power of the infinite possibilities of the quantum world. All you would have to do is have an understanding and control over how things tend to be and change that to fit whatever ends you want to achieve. Simple right? Now to accomplish it... [edit: In my next life, I want to be better at math then I am now so I can become a quantum physicist.]

(5 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Tater-tots] [18 Sep 2007|08:58pm] [ mood | amused ] In some news, theres a Tater-Tot who's been hanging around my Wolf lately, acting all doting and google eyed, thinking he's a domesticated dog and thinking that I'm not a wolf myself. Very. Dangerous. In other news, I am back in the red. As in hair. I'm about to go dry it and admire the results, but I imagine that I done good once again. Elaboration on the Tater-Tot situation to come.

(4 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [A cliche by any other name would smell just as sweet...] [02 Aug 2007|09:46pm] [ mood | contemplative ] So on a whim I decided five minutes ago to begin contemplating changing my name to Katia. Because although I love my name and how it's spelled and all that wonderful stuff, it's close enough to my real name that it won't be that big of a change and besides, it'll be much harder to fuck up. And finally, after 22 years of it, I'm starting to get tired. In other news, I'm using my Polish name at work...I made a "Kasia" nametag as a joke when I was threatening to use that instead of my, uh, American[?] name and I just may continue using it. So about the Katia thing? I'd still be Cat to everyone, except you'd all be spelling it right [all you people prone to using a "K"] For all I know I'll be over this tomorrow, but I'm curious about what everyone thinks.

(5 lucky souls ...I'll be sure to grant you your death) [Requisite fangirl post] [02 Aug 2007|01:28am] [ mood | geeky ] [ music | Shakira [Ilegal] ] As though Niel Gaiman needed any reason for his horde of fangirls to multiply even further... Soooo yeah. Just substitute Jesse in with Niel and you have my wildest orgasm right there. Okay, let's not go that far. I mean, Johnny Depp would have to be there too, and I mean, seriously what are the chances of that happening? Oh yeah, WTF is it with all these rumors that Cat likes Yaoi? Seriously, you jerks have no basis for that argument whatsoever.

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