I feel like I'm a failure as a mother today. And I know I'm not. But when things happen in your children's lives that you haven't prepared them for, and you watch them stumble... it's hard to not feel like it's somehow your fault.

Of course, what he's going through is pretty similar to the things I did when I was his age... but I don't wish that on him. And I want him to be joyful and alive and free. So watching him be so sad hurts so much. And I want to do everything in my power to make it all better... but in the same breath, I must make sure to let him learn his own life lessons.

This isn't something I can just stand aside from though. I have to interfere as a concerned parent, and try to steer him in a healthier direction of life. At least, I can't let it be in good conscience as his mother... and as a person who loves him.

That has been the big thing preoccupying my brain this evening. And it will for a while to come.

Tomorrow I make thanksgiving dinner for my family. Last year it sort of fell apart and was left to the last-minute. So this year I took the initiative and am hosting it at my house. Of course that means I cook the turkey, and the main part of supper. I really enjoy doing stuff like this. I love having people over to the house, and being a hostess. I just hope all the way to Moncton isn't too out of the way for everyone.

After dinner, hopefully I'll have enough energy to go to bellydancing class. I'm horrible and haven't practiced this week... but I've been so consumed by life. It's hard to take a few minutes to myself, let alone time to practice. I'll make a personal goal to practice twice as much next week though.

Michel and I finally sat down and worked out a budget. It's pretty tight and strict, but I should be able to swing good things for Christmas with it. I haven't factored a few possible areas of money that are unpredictable... so it might be a little easier to breathe later, depending. But I've lived on tighter budgets, so I'm not worried. It was just a matter of sitting down and doing it so we were on the same page. Yay for growing up and doing real relationship things.

I'm also going back into my journal and unlocking the entries. I locked them because of a boss' opinion on blogging. But currently I am on maternity leave... and when I go back, I shall have a different boss to deal with, with possibly different opinions. We shall see when that comes about again.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I'm thankful for my beautiful family, and wonderful friends... no matter the agonies I sometimes endure. It's worth every minute.

I made a drink for me and the bf tonight that has an average alcohol level of 27%. It is pure liquor in a martini glass + a smidgen of chocolate syrup and 3 ice cubes. I'm almost done my martini glass and I very much feel it!

Now I'm off to a sale! Apparently Trinity Drive is getting rid of a bunch of inventory because they're turning it into a clothing section. Woot Christmas pressies!!

Lets see how much I can write before the baby wakes up and needs me!! (Which ended up being after halfway through the first paragraph)

I've started a belly dancing class. Michel enrolled me in it because I love to dance, I never get out of the house, and I want exercise. I've gone to 2 lessons and I can see it being really great for me. I've already learned a few things about myself... like maybe why my knees are so horrid. The instructor said if you lock your knees, you won't last 2 years as a dancer. I started to pay attention to the way I stand, and I totally lock my knees up. Like all the time. So it's a big eye-opener for me, and I've started trying to stand with my knees bent slightly. It's really hard!

Another thing about dance class that I've noticed about myself is when we do the relaxation stuff. We do it early on in the class because a good dancer needs to be grounded and relaxed. I find I'm incredibly tense... which I've known for a while. I have an insane amount of tension trapped in my body. But last week when we were going through it, I felt like crying. Not because of frustration or anything like that... but because relaxing opens a little hole in the big wall I've built up... and sometimes a little hole can turn into a torrential flood.

Last Sunday I hosted a clothing swap (at the same time I had dance class!!) Lots of people turned out for this one, so it was really great. I had lots of clothes to sift through since I didn't get to participate. It was really nice to have new people around, and to have people over to my house, instead of going to them. I like being host!

Today I spent some time chopping up veggies and making a couple of pots of soup with a couple of people. There's a handful of people wanting to start up a food not bombs in Moncton. I'm not sure what level of participation I can have because I'm a journalist, but I figured I could cook something and donate it. It was fun having a couple of hippies in the kitchen. It's always more fun when you cook with other people than when you're alone. They're going to hand out the food tomorrow for the first time. I'm interested to see how they do.

As far as the kids are concerned, Celeste is 3 months old now. I think she's going to be a left-hander. When she goes to grab at things, she tends to reach with her left hand first. It might be too early to say for sure, but that's just my opinion. She's also in early stage teething. She's been sticking her fingers in her mouth, and occasionally other items. When I stick my finger in her mouth, she's started to chomp, and push it to the side with her tongue to where her gums are. I've got some alcohol-free gripe water and I need to buy some pure vanilla extract as well. Breastfeeding is going to be "fun." Speaking of which, for all you other mommies out there... got any tips on dry/chapped boobies? I've got some lanolin, but I'm open to other suggestions.

Time to put #1 to bed.

It's not that I'm miserable or anything, but I'm not terribly content with my life right now. It's been this way for a while. And the main problem is being true to myself, and living in the moment.

Right now I'm looking backwards and forwards and upwards and downwards... and not right here. I need to refocus myself on the now. On the here. On me.

I'm also incredibly out of touch with my spirit and the things I use to get in touch with it. I've been hesitant to do these things because many of my methods are foreign to other people, including Michel.

But I need to forget about all that and tap in again. Tap into my art, my writing, and myself. Get back into reiki and tarot and this whole world I've let go of.

I do know that I won't be able to be the same person I once was... but there's nothing stopping me from becoming a new person.

I just don't want to be a sheep... and that's the path I appear to be walking right now.

Tuesday
Dinner - Turkey Noodle Soup

Wednesday
Dinner - Spaghetti with garlic cheese bread

Thursday
Dinner - Turkey Pie

Friday
Dinner - Jamie's treat

Saturday
Breakfast - Potato Hash Bake + Smoothies
Lunch - Market
Dinner - Leftovers, or frozen

Sunday
Breakfast - Orange Dessert Waffles
Lunch - Tuna Melts
Dinner - Homemade Pizza

Monday
Breakfast - Instant Oatmeal/Cereal/Smoothies (all week)
Lunch - Turkey Sandwiches (the whole week, varying with flat bread + loaf)
Dinner - Stuffed Steak + Garlic Potatoes + Veggies

Tuesday
Dinner - Lasagna

Oh my. We just went through a growth spurt I think. She's not quite three months... but man. She was eating 8-9 ounces in a feeding, and feeding every hour and a half. My boobies couldn't keep up. My sanity couldn't keep up! Of course, I learn about fenugreek tea AFTER she slows down again. But I've got that in mind for the next round. She was so ravenous that I even fed her a couple watery spoonfuls of rice cereal. It bought me an extra 30-60 minutes... which is everything when you need to sleep.

Michel is back to work now. He's ho-hum about it. I have mixed feelings about it. I'm sorry to see him go, but I am going to relish having my space again. I'm also hoping to catch up on sleep and then use my spare time (after housework) to be crafty and artsy fartsy. I really feel like I lost touch with so many aspects of myself when I moved in with Michel 2 years ago. I'm really hoping that I'll have time to get in touch with it all again.

I've been picking up some steam with some of my 101 activities. Tomorrow we're going paintballing! w007! I've never been, but I loved laser tag. So this should be even more awesome. I don't know what I've got for clothes that I don't ever want to see again. Maybe I'll take a run to Salvation Army later and pick up something. I've also managed to strike a few other goals off the list.

That's all I'm taking the time to write. She's asleep, so I'm going to attempt to be productive!

PS - Happy talk like a pirate day! If I had more time, I'd have written the above post in pirate lingo. Yarrrrrr!

I'm in one of those places... where the magic can happen... where I can make or break things... where I can see really deeply into my soul if I want to, or look the other way and gloss things over. I don't know how long it will last. Maybe only a few more minutes... maybe a month.

I attribute lack of sleep to the intensity of it... but it's been a long time coming. I've been so stale... so lost of my luster of life. I've lost my magic, and I have been aware of that for a while. So I've also been trying to find a way to get it back. The way to sparkle and shine again.

It's not hard, but at the same time it is. I've forgotten how easy life is when you let it all go... the inhibitions, fears and worries. They get so big in the foreground and keep you from truly living your life. I let other people breathe down my neck and tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing, feeling, thinking. And now I'm taking control of things again.

Tomorrow I leave for Fredericton. Just for the day... but it will be nice. If all my friends are busy or working, I'll still enjoy the freedom. I'll have Celeste with me, but the boys are staying home. I'll be on my own from 10 until 4, and then who knows. I plan on bringing my sketchbook and paper journal.

I hope I cleanse my soul.

I really need to get cracking on my 101 list. There are a few that are now set to fail because I don't have a year left before it's all over. Sure, a pregnancy put the damper on some of them... but I still had almost 3 years in total to get it done.

So here's a few I'm hoping to get to this month:
3. Use the library once a week for 4 months.
5. Learn basic French.
6. Get a membership to the gym, and use it at least 3 times a week for 3 months.
10. Do the dishes and clean up kitchen immediately following all meals for two weeks.
14. Enroll in a dance class.
26. Back up my computer.
37. Try 100 new recipes.
53. Go one week without spending money.
65. Do a meal plan and follow it for 1 month.
69. Watch 10 movies on my "to watch list!" (9/10) 1.Reservoir Dogs 2.The Untouchables 3.Vertigo 4.Singin' In The Rain 5.Planet Of The Apes 6.Alien 7.Terminator (or one of them) 8.Clockwork Orange 9.Ghost 10.Hackers
74. Watch 10 "classic" B&W movies. (9/10) (Them!, Kronos, Citizen Kane, The Creature From the Black Lagoon, Night of the Living Dead, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Seven Samurai, The Third Man, Harvey)
94. Discover the museums and art galleries in Moncton, and visit them. 1/? The Moncton Museum, Aberdeen Art Centre + Galerie Sans Nom, The Capitol Theatre,
97. Learn and identify 10 new constellations. (0/10)

*groan* ANOTHER election. And that's all I'm saying on that.

Yesterday, Michel was nice enough to grab the baby and head out for an hour or so. I took a really hot bath with some salts and a face mask. Man it felt nice. Then I ran the shower with cold water, screamed a little, and was quite invigorated. Then Raine and I were silly until Michel came home with the baby. It was really nice to have a garaunteed period of time where I wasn't "on call." I need more sleep, and time to myself... aside from that I'm doing well.

I'm trying to be more "accomplished" around the house. Michel is doing more around the house and I SOOOO appreciate it. So I'm actually starting to feel like things are coming together and the house is starting to feel organized. I'll need at least the main floor baby proofed in the next few months...

She's growing so fast. She had her immunizations last week. She weighs 13 lbs now! And she's 10 weeks old! I was watching her last night, and she was intently focused on her hand. She was trying to move it, and watching it as it swayed back and forth. Then she tried bringing it closer to herself. It was amazing to watch her learn she has these limbs and can control them. She's cooing away a lot too. I'm pretty sure she's going to speak well before she's walking. Speaking of the baby, she's now hungry!!

This would be my ?? third attempt at making a meal plan?? But here it is, for the next week and a half... planned until the next pay. (How convenient eh?!)

Friday
Lunch - Chicken Sandwiches
Dinner - Hamburgers + Corn on the Cob

Saturday
Breakfast - Pancakes + Smoothies
Lunch - Market
Dinner - Leftovers (yes, I've planned this!!)

Sunday
Breakfast - Bacon + Eggs + Toast
Lunch - Broccoli Salad + Soup
Dinner - Roast Beef + Veggies

Monday
Breakfast - Instant Oatmeal/Cereal/Smoothies (all week)
Lunch - Roast Beef Sandwiches (the whole week, varying with flat bread + loaf)
Dinner - Stir Fry + Rice + Beef Strips

Tuesday
Dinner - Pasta + Garlic Bread

Wednesday
Dinner - Hungarian Goulash

Thursday
Dinner - leftovers

Friday
Dinner - Fish + Rice + Veggies

Saturday
Breakfast - French Toast Waffles
Lunch - Market
Dinner - Leftovers, or frozen

Sunday
Breakfast - Brunch Buns
Lunch - Salad + Soup
Dinner - Roast Turkey + Veggies + Stuffing (Turkey subject to change due to prices)

Monday
Breakfast - Instant Oatmeal/Cereal/Smoothies (all week)
Lunch - Turkey Sandwiches (the whole week, varying with flat bread + loaf)
Dinner - Tacos

I'm tired. Big surprise these days. I get about 6 hours a night now, which isn't bad. But it adds up. There's also the physical exhaustion. I'm breastfeeding, and still have the house to take care of. Then there's the mental. Being tired wears on it. Add in the stress of a cut back income (good ol' pogey) and trying to entertain a bored child all summer... and somehow keep my own sanity. It broke this last week. Not hard. But the corners of my mind were stripped away and I just couldn't handle anymore.

It's the lack of sleep. It makes things wear on me... through the mind and heart and body. And it was just me with two cranky kids who didn't want to cooperate. So I set her down, and told him to go to bed, and I went outside and sat at the bottom of the driveway in the wet mist. I sat there and cried... probably for about 10 minutes. Then I came in and called Michel to come home.

I'm mainly better now, but I'm still tired. I'm hoping to get some naps in since Raine is starting school tomorrow. Michel goes back to work on the 15th. I hope that allows me more time to myself. I need that too... that blissful state where one can examine oneself. Peer all the way in and see the flaws and layers and give everything a good scrub. Then things clear out and shine and make sense again. Not that it doesn't now. I'm just so tired it creates a sort of haze over my daily life.

There are things that are changing right now. And it's more than the lack of sleep and the fact that I've got a brand new baby. My brain is going through some of the baggage and garbage stored in there. That's the way I see it at least.

I've been spending a lot of time looking over my shoulder at the past. At my childhood, my youth, my early stages of adulthood, and a few years ago. I've been really stuck on how I was once this fantastic person with lots of adventures and great stories to tell. I feel boring compared to that person. I feel like the only "cool" thing about me now is where I work, and what I do.

But that's the thing. I'm a new person. With new life choices. And new adventures.

Somehow I forgot how outgoing I once was and really turned inward. I've been letting other people call the shots, and been almost scared to meet new people. I've been afraid that people are going to judge me, and not like me. I forgot that it doesn't matter.

I think that's where the last post stems from. When I was a kid, I was so desperate for people to accept me. So afraid of the judgment that might be passed. And I've reverted into a similar headspace and way of thinking when it comes to meeting new people... because I think I'm not interesting anymore... and I've really been judging myself.

I'm feeling pretty nuts... for lack of a better word. My emotions are all over the place today, and I'm blaming lack of sleep. That primarily. But there's certainly something else going on. In the past month or so, I've been really thinking about the craptacularness that was my youth.

For those of you who didn't really know me then, I had a pretty shitty childhood. And by that, I mean when it came to school and peers. If we chalked up our childhoods based only on family, mine would have been freaking phenomenal. Sadly, we have this thing called school that sucks away most of our childhood experiences.

I went to a school with the same 20 kids from Kindergarten to Grade 8. I was a loser from day one according to these kids, and thus was picked on mercilessly. I'm talking pretty severe. All of that had me suicidal by the age of 8, and in therapy by age 10. I used to come home after school and lay on my bed and cry for a half hour or more. Every day. Guaranteed. It was really bad, but it made me very strong. And that's how I look back at all that, and cope with it all. At least, that's what I thought.

I think I've got a lot of leftover anger and pain about it all that I thought I had dealt with, and am starting to think otherwise. (Grammatically, I hate the afore mentioned sentence.)Recently I was talking with someone about some of the things in my head, and as I started talking about my childhood, she noticed my fist clenching. Hmmm. I've also been pretty unbalanced lately, and my school years are pretty prominent in my head. I'm also starting to have thoughts and patterns like I did when I was an angsty teenager. Not cool.

So here it sits, like an elephant in the room that I can't ignore. How does one deal with such an elephant? That's my next step I guess.

The light has changed in the last couple of days... the sunlight has a cooler feel... a different tone and quality to it. That's one of my big indicators that fall is around the corner. It's still summer-type-light, but the ticking has begun.

That's about on-que because school starts in a week, and August is almost over... not that I need to tell all of you about that! I'm sure you all have things poking at your brains, saying summer is over as well.

Celeste is growing well and wonderful. She's 8 weeks now, which is amazing... because it was just yesterday that I was in the hospital with her. She's developing well, and is bright and beautiful. Here's a picture when she was just minutes old. I'll post a more recent one later when the computer is being more agreeable.



Coming up in October, there's a zine fair in Halifax that I'm planning on going to. I've actually sent in a registration for a table there to sell my zines, crafts and do palm and tarot readings. I'm really excited about it and I'm hoping that it's the boot in my creative arse I need to get back into being crafty and imaginative. I've got a whole bunch of ideas, and I want to see if I can stock a nice table by the time the event rolls around.

Yay for being excited about something!

It seems Celeste doesn't like it when I spend time on the computer!! I don't blame her. It sucks away so much of my time. She has taken to giving me about 15 minutes at most on it (for the most part).

School starts in just over a week from now. Seriously. WTF. Where did the summer go?! My mom is buying Raine's school supplies for the year. I'm super-appreciative of that because I'm pretty broke right now. It also saves me from having to brave the malls and such with cranky kids and moronic people.

I'm looking forward to Raine starting in on his routines again. He's had a pretty good summer despite the way it started. He was pretty bored, and then when August hit, he hasn't stopped.

That's all for now. Baby time!

I've got 2 sick kids and a sick man. I'm not sick at all... but I'm sure I'm just hosting the bacteria until everyone is better, and then it will attack in full force. Or maybe I've got an amazing immune system that will kick this bug's butt!! I was wondering why, in the past two days, Celeste wanted to be held ALL THE TIME. It's cute since she's so cuddly and affectionate... but try doing the dishes, or even using the bathroom!

But last night I had a little bit of a reprieve. Aline came over and watched the kids for a bit and I got to run out for an hour. I went to Mexicalirosa's with Jamie. I don't care that it was only an hour. It was so thoughtful of her. Jamie and I didn't do any great soul searching talk, but we still had a few giggles and fun.

Today, I had a visit to the dentist for two fillings. One of them was to replace an old filling that got loose and a new cavity grew underneath. Fun. It was interesting walking around with both sides of my face frozen. And since one side was more frozen than the other, my lip curled slightly. It was amusing. The freezing is out now and so far they don't really hurt.

Before I came home I stopped at the grocery store for some children's tylenol and ginger beer. I took a subsequent stroll through the mall to buy some burnable CDs since I'm out and have been wanting to try my hand at making mixes for people again. On my way through I walked by my favourite store -- Passage -- and found they are closing in 1 week. WHAT?! Apparently the section of the mall that their store is in has been leased by some large company and everyone in that block is getting the boot. Oh noes! They're not sure where they will be setting up yet, but likely in the downtown again. It's too bad because they were doing really well where they were... and they were my oasis in the sea of all the corporate buy Buy BUY that is the mall.

Also, it's a thing that when everyone is sick, we tend to watch a lot of movies. Raine and I just watched the Magnificent Seven. I had seen it years ago. But now having re-watched, I've realized that it's a complete rip-off of the Seven Samurai.

I'm part of a lj community called full_moon_swaps. Each month you can sign up to make a swap box for another person somewhere in the world who is part of the group. The swaps are themed, and are mainly pagan-related. I really love this community.

This month, the swap is called Our Sacred Selves. "We are Pagans or we are tree huggers - we are spiritual people or we are religious people... we are all essentially different, but no matter what path we follow, there is the element of the otherworldly to it. We believe, we have faith and trust, and we create magick - no matter our crede.

The amazing members of this community follow so many paths and each follows a very different journey, but our spirituality is what has gathered us together. No matter if you're Wiccan or Pagan or a tree hugger who thinks there might be something more - you have a spiritual practice. This may be as elaborate as a full out ritual every morning or doing yoga with the kitties at twilight or watering your plants - there are elements in your life where the sacred is felt, the mundane slips away and you stand between worlds.

But as sacred as we are in these moments, we're also human. As beautiful as our sacred practices are, we fall into the human rut of "not enough time," or any other excuse you've heard yourself say. "I'm just too tired for a walk in the woods," "the shrine is such a mess!," "the cat is sleeping in the middle of my pentacle..."

Our sacred selves are essential to our being - the rituals we perform, the prayers we whisper and the trees we hug are completely important in the grand scheme of our lives. This is the month where we are challenged to talk the talk and walk the walk of the sacred - one step at a time. So, how do we accomplish this?

Full Moon Swaps was created around the idea of community - a community of people, brought together in a sense of unity... all centered on the sacred - so let's put that to the test! During this swap month, we will be partnered with each other and asked to help in one of the most essential, important aspects of our life - our sacred selves.

In talking with my partner this month, I've come to a few realizations... I've known for a while that my spirituality has been suffering... and I know that it's gotten quite bad. But until I was answering a few questions my swap partner had, I didn't quite realize some of my main obstacles at reclaiming my spirituality. Unfortunately... a big one is my partner.

It may be all in my head, but reactions, comments said and input has helped bring me to where I'm at. Don't get me wrong... he's not the only reason I'm clogged up spiritually... but he's been playing a pretty big role in that block.

He doesn't really share that same thoughts when it comes to the other realm... be that magic, death, faith, what-have-you. And it's not that he needs to believe in the same stuff for me to continue to believe in it myself... but I need him to be accepting of me and what I believe.

I guess that's an improperly phrased sentence... he accepts me and what I believe... but when it is discussed, that is a different matter. Or at least has been in the past. He has a tendency to analyze and debate things before he can accept them at face value. (I understand that. I don't want to believe in something that doesn't make sense to me.) But it's really hard on me.. and I've pretty well gotten to the point where I don't share my thoughts, concepts and ideas because I might have to go through the exhausting process of defending and validating why I believe in what I believe.

So now that I've realized this, I'm going to try to find a way to change it. Be it to learn patience with the constant inquirey that goes on... or to find a way to talk to him and make him understand that the constant debate sessions on the aspects of my faith are not cool.

Now I go to bed. More posts to come about my trip to Montreal.

My man isn't a firm Catholic, but if he's asked if he follows a faith, he says he's Christian. When I'm asked what I follow I'll usually say nothing, or pagan. I was raised Catholic, but haven't believed that path since I was a teenager, or earlier. But I've been confirmed and all that jazz because it meant something to my mother.

But now that I have a new baby, I'm facing the Catholic church again. Michel wants to baptize the baby.

I'm not really keen on it. The church isn't something either of us are part of. I can't speak for his specific views and beliefs, but he's not really strong with them. But he wants to baptize Celeste with the "Just in Case" clause.

If it's that important to him, then I can go along with it. I can see it as a blessing from the Earth Mother... or a cleansing of the birth experience and an anointment with the love of the earth, etc. I can tweak it and throw my own energy and interpretations into it.

But there are two issues I have about the whole thing. Firstly, I have to take a class. When parents get their children baptized, they have to go through these classes. I remember doing classes for my first communion, and then for my confirmation. This will likely be another session of a priest or church parishioner telling me how God is everything, and my duties as a Catholic are such and such, and sinning this, and confession that. Again... I'm not terribly keen on the experience. Again... I'm willing to do it if it's that important to Michel.

The second issue is, he's not saying much about getting Raine baptized. That frustrates me because what he wants for Celeste, he should also want for Raine. I know Raine isn't biolically his son. But he's taken on the role of Raine's father, and Raine is his son. Michel is a better father than Raine's biological one by a million times... but there's that little barrier that is so hard to cross... he's not physically mine.

I'm trying not to see this as him not thinking about Raine as his. I'm trying to see it more as he still doesn't feel he has the authority to make such decisions... but who knows. It's hard to wrap your brain around it all.

So I want him to want Raine to be baptized like he wants Celeste to be baptized. It's funny because I don't really want either of them to be baptized. But I want him to want them! Blah! To many wants and words!

Michel's grandfather died last Friday. He was a senator and local businessman who made a lot of impact to the area and fishing industry. I don't think I've ever been to a funeral so big and with so many officials. The family has taken it fairly well because it didn't come as a surprise. He has been sick for a while, and the doctors told us he didn't have long. He got to see Celeste a few times before he passed. She was his first great-grandchild. I'm glad I could at least give him that.

We've been pretty busy with trips to Cap Pele for the wakes and funeral. And things are just going to get a little crazier. As of Friday, it becomes the week of chaos. We have a wedding to go to that day... which is no that chaotic or anything... but it's just the start of many things happening.

This weekend is also Avalon East Pagan Gathering (AEPG) and Sappyfest. I was really excited to go to AEPG this year, but it's not looking like we'll be making it. I'm a little disappointed as I was looking forward to mixing it up with some hippies and pagans. I haven't been around like-minded people (in that fashion) for a good while now... and I was hoping it might help re-focus me into my spiritual self. I was also looking forward to checking out the new site.

I *might* be able to hit up part of Sappyfest in Sackville though. eclectic_aum is going to be coming up for it, and I don't get to see her that often. My best friend will also be in the thick of it all. So we'll see. It all depends on how Celeste is, and my cash flow.

Speaking of which, I'm still waiting for EI to kick in. It's been 5 weeks now, and I JUST got approved for it last night. So I think that means I will finally get some money on next Tuesday... but wow it's been tough. Five weeks with no money, and a family to feed. I really wonder sometimes what the government expects us to do? I guess we survived it... though we had to get friends and family to buy us milk and bread a few times.

Back to the chaos... On Sunday, there is supposed to be this thing Michel should go to, but it might be canceled. I'm hoping it is, because if it is, we can leave for Montreal early. We'll be leaving sometime between Saturday night and and Monday night, depending on schedules and such. That should get us in Montreal with enough time to take a breather and figure out how I'm getting to and from the concert. Monday night is also mudheadpuddle and planetpla's anniversary. (Love you guys!)

Then it's Radiohead on Wednesday! Yay! It's been a tough time trying to secure this because for a little bit it was looking like I couldn't afford to go. I'm still not 100%. But Kaeli and I have been trying to do this for so long, there's no way I can't let that happen.

So we're in Montreal for as long as we can afford, enjoy, and take time for. But we have to be back by Friday. We're bringing my Montreal friend home with us so she can go to her sister's wedding on Friday... Then on Saturday and Sunday is Michel's 10 year high school reunion. My school never got off their butts to organize one... and I didn't care enough to take it on myself. Here's looking at 25!

There are a couple other things on Saturday and Sunday that we'd love to go to... but just can't. Adam is having his 30th birthday bash, and there will be a camping excursion down at the shore for a post-sappyfest celebration.

On Monday I have my 6 week check up after having the baby. And my Uncle Eric and Taunt Helga are coming down from Ontario with their kids for the first time in a few years.

Thus ends the week of chaos... or does it just begin again all over again?!