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October 3rd, 2008
10:39 am
The more I live, the more I realize I'm not a machine. I try to act like a machine, I try to get everything done. Then I realize I have real human needs too. I get tired of what I do, I get stressed, I get lost. Hmmm... I'm human! With biological limits and all. I am learning how to live again.
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October 1st, 2008
05:50 pm
Recess week has really been good for me. :)
I enjoyed the early sleeping and early waking. :) I am considering not using my alarm clock anymore, for the reason of allowing myself to sleep enough. My Professor has been asking me to get some more sleep, as I process things very slowly in my mind.
I enjoyed the rest recess week gave to my body. Instead of needing to follow a tight schedule of class and events, for one week, there was some flexibility for me to choose to do things. Meeting friends, praying for people, researching on things I like, extended quiet moments, family time etc.
And I need to get going already. Giving tuition. So comfy here, reluctant to leave. So funny. I really like my lab, though I don't need to come here, I choose to. It doesn't feel like a stressful place, for some strange reason.
I was quite happy could play badminton with some of my lab people yesterday, people like Edwin, Chow Khoon, Wee Foong and Kwek Yan. I think I'm writing out their names as a soft copy reminder so that many many years down the road, I can map back my life. I hope to know these people more, really. :)
And my spidlings are out! I've been keeping an egg case, given to me by Evonne and James from the spider lab. After almost a month, they wiggled out of the egg case! Fully functional babies, they could jump, they could hang on a threadline. :) I feel like an excited, proud mummy, but I quickly let them go. I don't want the pain of seeing them die in my hands again. Mother nature, perhaps, is a much better mother, though stochastic events still do occur. Luckily the bottle was knocked over onto the floor, or else I wouldn't have witnessed this event!
Today's another holiday. It's Minchen's birthday too! :)
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September 27th, 2008
03:18 pm - Thoughts on relationships
Yesterday was Joyce's birthday celebration. I had quite a few thoughts before, during, and after it. One of the main thought was what it means to have led a God-centered or relationship-centered life.
I think Joyce's life and celebration exemplified the answer. Joyce has close friends from everywhere. Secondary school, JC first three months, JC, church, family and more. And these won't superficial relationships but people whom she love very much and who love her very much.
My concern was that for many of us, who become more active in church, we tend to neglect the other spheres of relationships in our lives. I often hear people from church say they won't invited to a gathering because their friends assumed they won't coming.
There is a need to evaluate the relationships God has placed in our lives past and present. Have we been faithful with them?
If we were to hold a birthday party or say get into trouble, hospitalized or something, who will come?
Is it only family members and church friends, some of whom come because of obligations?
Or is it of people whose lives have touched you and whose lives you've touched?
One thing I see in Joyce's life is how she lives out this aspect of the life of Christ - His love for mankind. Take for example her relationship with her first-3-months friends, they only had 3 months together, everything after that 3 months was self-initiated to form the deep relationship that is now.
In contrast, do we have relationships in our lives that we insist on building on but they have not bore any fruits. Do we build relationships out of obligations?
Are we listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit in all these?
Ephesians 5:17
Don't act carelessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do.
Something I've been learning is that we should watch and see what God is doing around us and join him. Instead of coming to Him with a list of things we want, even if it is what we think He wants, and demand by faith He gives that to us. Is that true faith? Or a spoilt child insisting his way? What if God has something much better but because we are too stuck onto what we want, we do not ask Him and we cannot hear?
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September 21st, 2008
10:23 pm
It's been a truly humbling week, coming face to face with my inadequacies and inabilities, realizing I've been striving so hard, yet achieving nothing at all.
I saw my dragon fruit seedlings and considered their state. They're very skinny cacti seedlings so they bend and twist easily towards the sun. Some grow very fast and in the wrong direction and aren't upright. Others grow slower but are straight and upright. The thing is, if I were going to eliminate any, the slanted ones would be the first to go.
And I realized how it spoke to me. No point going so fast, ahead in life, when I'm heading in the wrong direction. I'd rather so slowly and end up where I'd want to be.
I guess it really really is humbling, realizing I'm not who I thought I was and things don't work the way my idealist mind think they would. Reality strikes and leaves me stunned.
And at times like that, the only thing I can fall back on is my faith in God. Because only He is strong when I am weak. Only He has a plan that will never fail, unlike mine. Only He knows my future and holds it.
And then I realize how little reserves I have to fall back on.
So I really wanna build my walk with God strong.
It's so funny. Last time I was very very confident of my future. I kinda boasted to myself "see, I know God has a great future for me. I may not know what but I just know it and I'm not afraid at all." But now... there is some unease whenever people ask me what I'm gonna do when I graduate.
I love how Huanyan knows, because he wants to do God's will, so there is only one way, God's way.
I too pray to be like that too. To be so close to God, that I will obey Him and do anything it takes to see His Will come to pass. Then whatever job, it doesn't really matter, does it, very much.
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September 18th, 2008
11:07 am - What we learn from animals
In this line of Biology, killing is our business. I walk along the corridor, I see fish being killed, butterflies, crabs...
(I see the potential of this post being controversial and shocking, as there are many animal lovers out there, but don't want to hide the truth. In order to conserve and protect these animals, research that involve loss of life are often conducted.)
And...
What truely touches me was when I saw the crab being killed by ethanol. He struggled with his might to come out of the ethanol, he held on tight to the mouth of the jar with every leg and pincer he had.
Some people call this survival in evolution. Others say it's cruelty to animals.
But what I captured was this preciousness of life. Life meant everything to the crab and he struggled with every ounce of energy to retain that precious gift God gave to him.
It means a lot to me, cause sometimes I let go a bit of my life when the going gets tough. I want to slacken and not really "live" my life. Sometimes I still struggle with meaning and I see others who totally give up, whether physical life, through suicide, or spiritual life, through renouncing of faith.
Contrast this to the crab and consider.
Even crabs know it.
Your life is precious. Every life around you is too. Don't walk out the door without first knowing this in the deep recesses of your heart.
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10:19 am - God makes the grass grow
Psalm 104:14-15
You cause grass to grow for the cattle.
You cause plants to grow for people to use.
You allow them to produce food from the earth -
wine to make them glad,
olive oil as lotion for their skin,
and bread to give them strength.
:)
I was very pleased when I came upon these verses. Wine to cheer me, oil for my beauty regime, bread for my daily carbohydrates.
It is a heart of thanksgiving. How often do you thank God for the Aloe Vera in your facial cream/wash that you daily put on your face? Or that cup of fruit juice or coffee you drank just now? What about that pau(bun) you ate or the cornflakes you drank with milk?
All these only possible because God first made the plants grow. Rejoice and give thanks, every time you encounter a plant product!!
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September 15th, 2008
07:24 am
One day, we'll realize that the "sacrifices" we make for God, that we make in order to obey God, are really no sacrifices at all.
Funny how I hold on so tightly to things that never belonged to me in the first place.
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September 11th, 2008
07:36 am - You are the song writer
As a worship leader, one thing I always ask God is to speak to the people as we worship Him. Last week, God did speak. Nicholas gave us a beautiful vision of a master composer playing the notes in our lives. Many times we cringe, especially at those difficult notes which are unpleasant and awkward. But God ask us to trust in Him, because he will make the song of our lives beautiful. It is those difficult notes and unpleasant times that mould us to become what God wants us to be.
As I was pondering about this song while asking God once again to speak to the CG today. This song came out from within me.
G
You are the song writer
D
and I am the song
Am
I will trust in You
C
I will trust in You
You will complete what you
Started in me
I will wait on You
I will wait on You
C D
I hear the song of my life
in my soul
C D
Many highs, many lows
All good things are refined
for your use
I will not be afraid
G
God take over
D
God my leader
Am
Song creator
C
My sweet lover
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12:20 am - O, GREAT GOD! (O STORE GUD!)
When I the world consider
Which Thou has made by Thine almighty Word
And how the webb of life Thy wisdom guideth
And all creation feedeth at Thy board.
Refrain:
Then doth my soul burst forth in song of praise
Oh, great God
Oh, great God
-Carl Boberg
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September 10th, 2008
07:03 am - A story of hymns
There's something I really like about old Christian hymns. It's very different from the songs of today.
They are wordy, sometimes you need to sing a lot in one breath. A lot of them come in verses. So instead of singing verses and choruses and hanging on the choruses to help people soar in worship, for many hymns, the verses are the main climaxes and people soar through each stanzas getting grander and grander in words and meaning.
I like how they are contemplative and tell a story. :)
I also enjoy the transportation back in time. As I listen to hymns, I find myself transported to an era of Hudson Taylor and other great Christian men and women of the past. I see and hear them singing these songs in church, in their morning quiet. Wow! :) What a thrill! :)
In fact, I think last time when I was choosing a church, this point bothered me a lot. I wanted a stand up and sing hymns kind of expression.
And the first songs that came out of my mouth were hymn-like. The one Hanes and I wrote for my Science of Music project was very hymn-like. Lyrics like:
He feeds the sparrows, clothes the flowers
My father in heaven cares for me
My father in heaven I love Thee
So once again, sitting here, listening to my collection of hymns... Tim Hughes said something like if all one does were to listen to the songs you listen to in church, without sermons and other things, what would he think your God is like?
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September 7th, 2008
04:59 pm - The King and the humble Maiden
My vocal teacher shared with us a story by the famous Danish philosopher on Saturday. :)
Soren Kierkegaard:
Suppose there was a king who loved a humble maiden. The king was like no other king. Every statesman trembled before his power. No one dared breathe a word against him, for he had the strength to crush all opponents. And yet this mighty king was melted by love for a humble maiden who lived in a poor village in his kingdom. How could he declare his love for her? In an odd sort of way, his kingliness tied his hands. If he brought her to the palace and crowned her head with jewels and clothed her body in royal robes, she would surely not resist-no one dared resist him. But would she love him?
She would say she loved him, of course, but would she truly? Or would she live with him in fear, nursing a private grief for the life she had left behind? Would she be happy at his side? How could he know for sure? If he rode to her forest cottage in his royal carriage, with an armed escort waving bright banners, that too would overwhelm her. He did not want a cringing subject. He wanted a lover, an equal. He wanted her to forget that he was a king and she a humble maiden and to let shared love cross the gulf between them. For it is only in love that the unequal can be made equal.
The king, convinced he could not elevate the maiden without crushing her freedom, resolved to descend to her. Clothed as a beggar, he approached her cottage with a worn cloak fluttering loose about him. This was not just a disguise - the king took on a totally new identity - He had renounced his throne to declare his love and to win hers.
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September 6th, 2008
11:38 pm
This week has been such an exciting week. A week full of turmoil and fun. It's not over yet but let's recount a little.
Monday - Buy tickets to India. Exciting. Worried about not touching FYP for so long, but excited to at last see the real world. I've been cooped up in Singapore for too long. Time to get out!
Tuesday - Hope Resource Retreat. Thank God for Samuel, Juli and Joyce. I was very worried for this event. Wanted to keep it simple but fulfilling. And I saw how a table of strangers came out friends. I like that so much. One of the reasons I love my ministry is that I get to meet people from all walks of life.
All united for a common purpose - to serve; united with a common passion - Christian resources; united by a common love - God's love.
Wednesday - CG. I led Praise and Worship. Praise and Worship has taken on a new meaning, grander than anything I've ever imagined before since I started taking classes at Believer Music and got to experience worshiping through music and learnt about worship. So instead of the fear which I used to have, I was actually very excited by this privilege to lead people towards God through songs. Music is really one of God's greatest creation. The ability to appreciate music and create it is one of the best gifts He's given Man.
Thursday - Home for dinner. At last. And I got to watch the Korean show where Yvonne and Priscilla my vocal coach said I look like one of the characters.
Friday - Dinner with parents and sis and her boyfriend. :) I guess I was a little burdened by work. But I greatly enjoyed the company of my family. Herman, the Ant Mimic, jumping spider, was introduced to my sis and her boyfriend. Yes, I've got a new pet. ;)
Presentation for Architecture class went not bad. Once again, thanks Damien, Huiyu and my lecturer, Dr Chee for input so that I have output.
Saturday - Song presentation for vocal. I need to work on:
Vocal Technique
A. Able to consistently produce a steady, assertive & free-sounding tone. Techniques taught well applied.
B. Able to produce a steady, assertive & free-sounding tone most of the time. Techniques taught satisfactorily applied.
C. Able to produce a satisfactorily sounding tone, but inconsistent. Need more practice to internalize techniques taught.
D. Weak sounding tone produced. Techniques not well learned or applied. More practice needed.
NA. Absent
I keep getting a C... :( Find it pretty tough not to let my mid area collapse when I sing and to hold out. Jiayou! :) I want to serve God through singing as well.
Sermon was excellent this week.
Actually Monday was Teacher's day. I took the chance to thank two teachers in my life currently. My Professor, Prof. Hugh Tan and my guitar coach, Daniel Kan and was greatly encouraged by their response.
Haiz. I sigh. :) The world before me. I don't want to live for me, but for God.
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September 5th, 2008
08:50 am
This week was really intense. In terms of emotional baggages.
But I have a lot to give thanks about.
The very fact that I'm in a hostel room, accessing the internet is worth praising God about!
First, God gave me a room.
Which I originally did not like and was very burdened over. But I learnt to appreciate it. I don't face another room. I face the road. I may get cars, but I don't get people staring at me in the night. And last night it rained. I realize my room is positioned in such a way my shoes don't get wet. Isn't that amazing? :)
Second, the ethernet-USB connector!
I can surf the net now! There's no wireless connection in my room, and in my lab the signals are very poor. So I am so glad I can use the internet freely again! :)
Just talking about this perks me up. :)
I have a presentation today. I was really stressed over it yesterday. And Damien helped me to analyze my reading. That helped a lot a lot. I think that was the greatest stress reliever yesterday. He really has a brilliant mind!
I miss Ziwei. :) She used to help me do this kinda stuff.
I hope I can upgrade my brain to be critical and analytical!
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September 2nd, 2008
08:58 am - Troubles
I've noticed the bible's stand on troubles. It's very normal, very natural to have troubles. Even very good people have very bad troubles. It's almost everywhere. We see it in Moses's time being led through the desert, in wars, Adam and Eve's time, Abel getting slained, it's everywhere in Psalms where David cries for help, Jesus' time and where I'm at now, Paul also faces many troubles.
It's a wonder, why I'm so fearful of trouble. And a wonder why people sometimes feel bad sharing their troubles. If the bible is a reflection of real life, trouble is probably very widespread on the earth. It's common. We can help one another out.
What I've learnt from the bible is that troubles help you to grow and they don't last very long. Most importantly God never abandons us in the toughest times when we feel the whole world has turned its back against us.
Psalm 34:19
The righteous face many troubles, but the Lord rescues them from each and every one.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken.
We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit.
We are hunted down, but God never abandons us.
We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.
Gosh, this week is such a challenge. But what encouragement from this bible verse.
Onward Christian soldier! Don't be afraid! Don't give up, always give your best. Don't be afraid! God is never slow to rescue, never late to save.
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August 26th, 2008
09:40 am - An Eventful Day
Psalm 34:18-19
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.
The righteous face many troubles,
but the Lord rescues them from each and every one.
Yesterday was a very exciting day for me. For one, I attended my first ST2137 Computer Aided Data Analysis tutorial. It gave me the creeps. I was reluctant to wake up to it in the morning. It fact, it made me sick. As I was walking to the computer lab to meet Kok Sheng to test out the tutorial assignment, I felt like vomiting. But remembering the sermon Paster Jasmine gave, I claimed Philippians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, even Statistics.
And it turned out pretty okay! Very good in fact, I began rejoicing.
I am slowly getting the hang out of SAS data preparation. :) And secretly in my heart, I thanked God for even the chance to use this expensive program.
Because I was starting to understand it, I became more interested in class as well, during lecture, not so much intimidated and fearful.
Things took its turn when I saw my Professor in the evening. I was worrying my parents would come soon yet I wanted to hear Prof. talk, so I became visibly distress, which Prof. saw and asked me about it. I felt so traumatized and crushed and embarrassed. Erm... It was like I made myself go through emotional torture for nothing, I wasted Prof.'s time and I yes I crushed my spirit.
It was so bad, I teared. I normally tear when I cannot contain the emotions inside anymore. Actually we all do right?
Then I went home and out of me I created a new song.
Psalm 32:7
For you are my hiding place;
You protect me from trouble.
You surround me with songs of victory.
That's the chorus and bridge.
The verses went like...
Man of sorrows, God above, come take away my pain
Something happened, it crushed my soul, come take away my pain.
And the amazing thing was the more I sang it to my Em7, D, C_, the more liberated I felt. And soon, my eyes were open, I was set free from the emotional distress and trauma.
I collected my thoughts and decided to email my Prof. to apologise and get on with life.
So here's a very real example of how God encouraged me with His word and worship with a new song.
And it all links. Those verses I quoted were my morning QT bible passages. Imagine I did no QT, I wouldn't have these verses so on hand to encourage me! :) God's Word rocks big time! :)
Yes and it all comes together and make me wanna shout Hallelujah, Thank You Jesus! :)
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August 21st, 2008
03:05 pm - Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen
This prayer speaks very much to me because I very quickly lose footing and become frantic, flustered and foolish. And when I enter into this state or mode, I tend to forget about people. I become self-centered and selfish. I asked that my needs are met. I want to be consoled. I want to be understood. I'm angry when I'm not. I become a monster. I don't sow anymore. I am not an instrument of God's peace. Conversely I bring stress and strive.
So Shuyi, stop here and have a hold on yourself.
More haste, less speed.
Rather than charging ahead, have a good look above and around you.
The God who can help you is above. The people you mustn't forget and continue to love are around.
This is my timeless verse:
Philippians 2:3-4
Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better as yourself. Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.
Timeless beauty and so very important everyday.
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August 20th, 2008
04:59 pm
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. Every day I live, I see more and more of my flaws and weirdness. It discourages me. But I want to remember never is a situation too bad, that I cannot praise God. God is good in every situation, in every circumstance. For some absolutely illogical reason, I appear to end up not liking people who I think like me. But I'm still trying to figure this out, maybe it doesn't work that way. *sigh* I appear to draw away when people try to draw close. Hmmm...
Ah, I miss God so much, even though He's never far. My heart just aches when I think of Him.
Who can save me from this wretched body, reeked with sin, I cannot for one moment remain sinless. Only the blood of Jesus. Only Jesus can save.
Actually I wanted to share some thoughts about songwriting I've had after reading this beautiful book called Songs From Heaven by Tommy Walker.
Some quotes:
"Every song we write has merit, even if God is the only one that ever hears it. Some songs are meant for just one moment. Others are meant to live for hundreds of years. Some songs are meant to touch one heart. Others are meant to reach millions. But every one is worth the effort."
"It's been said that if you can pick out a melody on a piano with one finger and no other accompaniment, and the melody still stands on its own, then you've got something worth keeping."
"The more true feeling and emotion you can get into a song the less contrived and insincere it will sound." Do you remember I once wrote here that sometimes I find myself with so much emotion, I wish I could invent a machine that converts emotional energy into electrical energy so I can make use of this emotions? Recently, I realized emotional energy converts very well into sound energy, whether grunts or shouts or music.
"The million-dollar question is how do we keep our motives pure? We all have to battle with that longing for personal glory and financial gain. Getting into God's presence is the most effective way to keep the proper focus."
"Some songs are written in minutes, some take months. In the end it's all about a gifting and a calling God has given you. It's not so much about the song itself. It's about what God does through it.
"fear, pride and self-concern" are what hinders a song writer.
"All artists risk rejection, and songwriting feels like one of the most risky of all art forms because a good song requires that we pour so much of ourselves into it."
"Songwriting does not happen by accident. You have to be disciplined and purposeful.
"Sometimes when we're coming down off an emotional high and we're tired, we're the most vulnerable. And of course the forces of the Enemy are always looking for an opportunity to mess with our lives."
I like this book cause I can identify with many things the author says. And he comes from a very humble and honest perspective, writing from personal experience instead of coming from the angle of a teacher teaching on how to write songs.
Recently, I've been quite interested in this area of songwriting. One of the main reasons I've taken up vocal training, is that I hope to be able to sing my own songs. Currently I'm experiencing some difficulty singing high notes without using purely head voice. I'm slowly learning how to use and exercise the diaphragmatic muscles. And Huanyan has asked me to play guitar for Caregroup tomorrow for the first time. I am very honoured by this opportunity that I can even serve in this area. God is my Master, I am His servant. Many times, I really wish I can improve my craft, whether in leading or playing. I'm really very bad. God and people have been more patient with me than I have been with myself. But let this not be a wish-and-hope thingie, but a faith thingie. If God calls me to do it, I must have faith to believe He can use what I give to edify and serve others. Whatever thing it is, from the most mundane to the most spectacular.
Only, let me be humble now and forever.
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August 18th, 2008
09:40 am - Shuyi's Random Thoughts...
My handphone has taken on some important roles over the years, as a recorder of my thoughts and my emotions whether in the form of words or songs. Here is the archive which I just transferred over here.
18/8/08
"On a good day I get to school in 15 minutes; on a bad day, 1 hour." Considering I stay not more than 3 km displacement from school...
"In a short span of a year since my sister moved out, her room has become my cat's alternative bedroom and my music room, when I sing, play the guitar and press the keyboard."
16/8/08
"How sad if these songs were sung only for my pleasure, my honour." - On what self-composed worship songs shouldn't be.
12/8/08
"I still remember when I first met Jesus. It was like having a crush. I kept him in a little place in my heart and everytime I thought of Him, my whole heart fills with glee and I am overwhelmed that I'm so loved. Fear of God engulfs me and I can do nothing but obey Him."
2/8/08
What Hanes overheard a little girl telling her maid on the bus, "You know what to do when you're sad? Sing a song in your heart!"
2/8/08
After being convicted by Pastor Jeff's sermon on discipleship, "Please forgive me Lord, I've exchanged your kingdom for the filthy things of this world."
26/7/08
"Help me. Jesus I feel so weak. I couldn't help me if I tried."
6/6/08
"Severe my ties with this world, Lord, let me be yours and yours alone!"
1/5/08
"Your value and worth has no correlation at all to your capability."
30/5/05
After listening to Jiadai share Holy Communion at Tertiary Service at NTU Alumni House, "My life was conceived out of love."
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August 15th, 2008
03:44 pm
I was very afraid to check my results for my Special Semester module, that Insect catching one that sent me to Tioman Island.
So I prayed, "God regardless of the result, I thank You for the fun I had, the knowledge I gained, the friends I met, the experience You gave, regardless of the result, thank You!"
And I checked my result.
A!
:) Now my CAP went up to 4.15. I'm nearer the safe zone of Second Upper! Thank God for bringing this cheer to my heart!
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August 8th, 2008
11:15 am - A New Creation
I was very refreshed by yesterday's Gathering And Pray (GAP). I experienced Holy Spirit helping me to pray. Normally I get very tired and lethargic from praying that I fall asleep. (Actually I can fall asleep any time when my spirit or body is weak, especially during lectures.) It's actually quite funny when I fall backwards.
Yup but basically, things were different yesterday and I'm very thankful for that. It's been a long time since I've experienced God in this manner.
Recently I found out I have been a very feelings-based person. Actually I was like that all along, but I only realized last week how detrimental it was to my spirit. I have not been believing the Word and having faith in God and it, instead I have been relying on my emotions to live.
We walk by faith and not by sight.
Hence, I want to no longer have Thomas-kind of faith but Abraham-kind of faith. I want to stop telling God, "Unless and until I see for myself, I won't do it." Instead tell God, "I believe you said this in your Word, I don't care what circumstances or my feelings tell me, because You said so, I will obey You."
Yes, that's how I want to grow. To be a woman of one book.
Also realized the significance of the Sinner's Prayer yesterday when Jie Hui said that "Jesus is not only our Saviour but our Lord." Saviour is nice and easy to accept. Who doesn't want to be saved and be loving and happy. But Lord, meaning He is my Master, meaning, I am a servant and I obey His orders. He is in control of my life. That is the hard part, yielding to Him. My life is not my own.
This I pray I can grow into as well.
Last Sunday, Vaish invited all her good friends over to her home where she cooked for us. It was a splendid meal. Really, I love the food. And the company. I looked forward to meeting them up so much and seeing Vaish again.
But as I sat at the table. I realized I was drinking red wine (I was the only one drinking that so Uncle gave me the bottle to drink with my family. I thank him for that.) and before me was bread. I never felt more blessed to be able to eat the Holy Communion elements even for a friends gathering.
Red wine. Plain bread. It's my perfect meal. :)
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