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2005.03.16 10.20 Farewell, Dear Readers. Andrea here. Tomorrow morning we get on the plane and go back to the United Snakes of a Merry Cow. There's still a bunch of unclaimed freight in the apartment and I'm convinced my suitcases each weigh more than the allowed 32 kg. I can't seem to chew food properly and I don't know where I packed my address book. Other than that I'm just fine. So this is the end of www.livejournal.com/users/shokupanman/. It was created with the original intention of keeping in touch with you all while we were in Japan, and hopefully it worked. So long, Stink town! |
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2005.03.14 21.24 Farewell Party V Say Goodbye to Tsu and Kaori.  |
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2005.03.14 21.21 Farewell Party V Say goodbye to Eugenia.  |
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2005.03.14 21.19 Farewell Party IV Say Goodbye to the Speakeasy.  |
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2005.03.14 21.18 Farewell Party III Say goodbye to Liz and Tomo.  |
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2005.03.14 21.12 Farewell Party II Say goodbye to Mayu, Mako, and Keita.  |
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2005.03.14 21.08 Farewell Party I Say goodbye to city hall, private students, and Helga.  |
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2005.03.05 18.41 We Saw Godzilla: Final Wars  |
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2005.02.28 10.43 our life in pictures.... two weeks and change. after being here almost a year and not seeing any museums in tokyo we thought we had better get on the ball. we spent all day sunday in Ueno Park at the Tokyo National Museum. it was mighty excellent i must say. a lot of bowls, a lot of lacquer-ware, a lot of big ol' buddhas ("hey tiny elvis, look at that buddha, that thing's huuuuuge.") there was even a small room about the Ainu people who lived in the far northeast quite isolated from the rest of japanese society. they're japanese hillbillys and we love them. here are some pictures from the day:  this is the main building for the National Museum.  this is near the Ueno Park train station and a strange alley of intense commerce that used to sell forbidden foreign goods after the war (candy, stockings). now it's just really crowded with a lot of screaming and Nikes.  this is the beard papa.  by the time we found a suitable place for dinner (this means a place where we thought we could possibly haggle a vegetarian meal) i had grown frighteningly hungry and just the littlest grumpy.  all that stuff about disneyland being the happiest place on earth is a lie, it's actually this toy store in Ueno Park. 6 FLOORS OF JAPANESE AND IMPORTED TOYS!!!! we took this opportunity to pick up some items for some folks back home and stock up on some more Gloomy Bear items. unfortunately, this gloomy bear arm pillow that andrea is so wonderfully modelling was entirely too large and expensive for purchase. alright, pistons game is about to start. see you soon. -t. Music: the george blaha experience |
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2005.02.25 17.09 Teatime Toddily Tue the Canoodler Haven't had the Internet for awhile. Ichiro didn't pay his provider for over a year so they finally deleted his account. Which is odd, since I thought Ichiro's only job was to keep this little town connected to the web. Lord only knows what he does all day. Went to our first tea ceremony. Naomi was supposed to perform it at some festival but it got rained out. So she just did it for us at her house. She got all dressed up in her kimono and greeted us at the door with one of them deep, kneeling bows. We sat down in her living room and appreciated her flower arrangement. She gave us these gooey pink cherry blossom sweets, each wrapped in a salty leaf, to eat while she made the tea. Each thing in the tea ceremony has a special significance. But I don't know what any of it means. Naomi had this special orange handkerchief she kept folding and unfolding like she was gonna do a magic trick with it or something. When she poured the water she tried to make a lot of noise because you're supposed to enjoy the sound of water being poured. When you get the bowl of tea you gotta turn it a couple times, hold it with both hands, then drink it in three gulps.  Then Todd and I got to try it.  I'm skipping a lot of steps here. There's a whole bunch of wiping and whisking involved, but you'll have to check with your local library if you wanna know. And now, may I present my favorite new characters of all time. Thank you, Devilrobots. Thank you.  Music: Turkey Buzzard in a Pork Pie Hat |
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2005.02.18 18.08 Guess you've noticed that I haven't been writing lately. Hey, wanna know something? By this time next month I'll be back in the States. Can you believe it? It's been the usual around here. Today was quite typical: My 12:00 student called at the last minute wanting to switch to 5:00. So I changed my hair appointment to 1:00 and spent the rest of the day wandering around a shopping center. I talked to some guy at the Benetton outlet who apparently was bored or just wanted to practice English or both. He ended up giving me a deal on a wool sweater. When 5:00 rolled around, my student canceled the lesson. Suppose I could've just went back to bed in the first place. The Japanese shopping center can be a really sad and magical place. With some of the clothes it's really difficult to figure out how to wear them. Some stores just do away with sizes completely. Everything is a Small. Then there's the salespeople. If you walk past one of them they will instantly greet you with an irasheimashei (welcome). Fair enough. But if you walk by the same guy twice, he'll say it again. Even if you're the only customer in the store, so it's not like he thought you were a different person. I swear one guy said it like five times. I wonder if punk kids walk past salespeople on purpose just to mess with them. Probably not. Last night we borrowed Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade from the library. But, to our horror, it was dubbed in Japanese. We watched it anyway and I tried my best to explain what was going on because Todd hadn't seen it(!). But I couldn't remember the story so I just made stuff up about the holy grail. For some reason I kept giving the blond Nazi lady an English accent. Thanks to the miracle of the Internet, we've also been watching the new season of Carnivale. Holy Mother of God, it's scary. Makes Twin Peaks seem downright quaint. I'm more than a little concerned about why I like the character Felix Dreyfus. He's a bigot, a gambler, a thief, and that's not counting his full-time job pimping out his wife and daughter. But I like him. He's a kind of comfort compared with the other characters. He's not haunted by visions or ghosts or demons. He's a regular guy. If a regular guy was a no-good cheating scoundrel who ran a cooch dance. Music: Little Fats & Swinging Hot Shot Party |
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2005.02.10 14.05 I've been sick. So the only interesting things from my point of view have been generic Vicks Vaporub and televised sports. First, the Superbowl. Watched it at the Speakeasy with a bunch of white-boy dummies at 8:30 in the morning. The same dummies from that unnecessary beach party I attended last summer. Fortunately, they didn't remember my name. They were too busy saying "Passing interference!" like it was the only American football term they knew and dammit, they were gonna use it. I don't rightly know if there was an excessive amount of passing interference in that game, but it was annoying to hear it proclaimed so often. The game was shown on NHK with no commercials. This fact only exaggerated how boring American football is. So much waiting around. Or you could see it as an eerily silent and reflective period for the players. Maybe they're asking themselves: Did I really need to jump on that pile of guys? I think next time I catch the ball, I'll just tackle myself. How can I let the other players know that I still respect them even though I always throw it to the same guy? Why do we call this football if we're always throwing and catching? I also watched some tennis starring that blonde-ponytail lady with the dangly earrings. Those dangly earrings really drive me nuts. I hate it when regular people wear them, let alone tennis stars. For some reason she's always on Japanese TV. Then I watched ski-jumping but that was really boring and I fell asleep. Next was the soccer game between Japan and North Korea. Now, you and I both know that there's such a thing as North Korea. But I guess people from South Korea think there's just one Korea. But what about the different flags? The different governments? The world maps? No, it's just one Korea, they say. Anyway this was a big deal game here because I guess North Korea hasn't played Japan for like ten years or something. I'm skipping all the major politics and kidnapping stories. Not for the sake of space, I just don't fully understand it. I guess it was a good game. Soccer never stops moving so there's no time for reflection. I will say that the boys on the Japanese soccer team spend way too much time on their hair. Music: Touch Me, I'm Sick |
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2005.02.08 13.37 here's something stupid
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2005.02.04 11.48 happy belated say happy birthday to banjo, she turned 3 on Feb. 2nd.
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2005.02.03 13.28 Things I'll Miss About Japan In Random Order 1. Sitting around drinking coffee until noon. Sometimes even later. 2. Obedient pedestrians waiting for the light to change. 3. The different chimes you hear at street corners as you're waiting for the light to change. 4. The different chimes you hear at train stations as you're waiting for the train to come. 5. Gatcha-gatcha, the cute toys you get in vending machines. 6. Stationery. We may be at the beginning of a new renaissance here. 7. Hot towels at restaurants. 8. Sharing food at restaurants. 9. Chu-hi, the fruity drink that's still 7% alcohol. 10. All the giant hawks flying outside my window. To Be Continued...
Music: that Beck song from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind |
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2005.01.31 11.10 unkie herb and antandrea my stepsister alicia is going to have a baby thus making andrea and i an aunt and uncle. we couldn't be more excited. we've spent the good part of the morning coming up with names, topping the list are automatic slim, butcher knife totin' nannie, old reliable, monster and nacho (twins), and roscoe p. baby. these names all sound better if you preface it by saying, "this here's _______." or in the case of roscoe you make little finger guns. hopefully they don't pick some neo-yuppie name like hunter or gatherer or wetland. the baby's due in october so we figure by december his or her legs should be able to support cowboy boots. congratulations alicia and andy. |
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2005.01.29 10.21 Tofusan I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family.
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2005.01.27 10.58 twiggy, why? what can i say about Metallica: Some Kind of Monster? lars ulrich proves to be not only the most annoying member of metallica but one of the most annoying people ever. kirk's role in the band appears to be that of a deaf mute, or sort of a elementary schoolgirl that has to pass messages between two arguing friends. only when it comes to leaving out his big wanker guitar solos does he ever seem to have an opinion. their producer, Bob Rock, sports highlights and a middle-aged potbelly. their therapist is making $40,000 a month and feels that they will po$$ibly need his services until everyone in the band is dead (maybe even after that). james hetfield turns out to be the best one in the bunch, with maybe the exception of torben ulrich, lars' bearded father. andrea found it very difficult to watch as she simply felt embarrassed for them. the most painful part for me was watching them all try to write lyrics: "my lifestyle determines my deathstyle". what the hell is that? they apparantly regressed back to 7th grade as part of their therapy. i was never a big metallica fan or megadeth for that matter, but there's something endearing about dave mustaine. watching him talk with lars was an amazing example of two guys with bad hair and incredibly large white sneakers sort out their feelings about the past and smoking hash. tears were shed. all in all, i give it seven thumbs up. |
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2005.01.25 16.27 Dokatalites Tsu and Kaori came into town last night. We had drinks at Fra, so they ended up playing music. I love that people can just show up at a bar with instruments and play something. No money, no flyer. We didn't even call first. Anyway, their happy little drinking songs sounded kind of scary there. They usually play at the aptly named Giggle, a ridiculous bar with far too many people drinking far too much beer in far too small a space. It's so smoky you can't stand it. The TV is always on soccer. Perfect for goofy Irish dancehall tunes. On the contrary, Fra is dark and spacious and empty. The only light comes from a few candles and the whole place stinks like incense. There's about a million CDs sitting on the floor that Hirosan hasn't bothered to put on shelves. It's a place you have to sit down at. Let me tell you about Tsu and Kaori. They were both wearing these giant steel-toed black oxford shoes and tapping the hardwood floor with them. Kaori wears pigtails and a beret with a fancy old pin. Her shirt is polka-dot and she taught herself how to play the accordion. She reminds me of my friend Charity because she has long skinny fingers with big pretty rings and she's always smoking. She sings like a how a little girl would sing if she was playing dress-up in the closet and thought nobody could hear her. Tsu always wears a hat and dress pants. He cried at the fireworks once because he was so moved. When he was bartending the other day, their bass player Kouta kicked some people and things. So Tsu punched him. Kouta's not in the band anymore. Music: Doggy Mountain Bulldogs - Doggy Mountain Stomp |
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2005.01.22 14.15 today i used a soul coughing cd for i what i believe was its intended purpose and that is to teach japanese children to count by 5's. my two students covered their ears and howled. i believe it was mostly an aversion to learning and not particularly to soul coughing (even though some evil-doers might tell you different). Music: casiotone nation- soul coughing |
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2005.01.22 10.35 The Monkey Ball Naomi invited us over for pizza and beer on Ichiro's birthday. I made a chocolate cake and Todd did the frosting. We even turned out the lights and sang the birthday song. It was fun. Then Emmanuel came over. Guess what he gave Ichiro for a birthday present? A porno magazine. Then he took over the conversation talking about his record-producing days. Bill Laswell is an old friend of his. And don't get him started on Ryuichi Sakamoto from the Yellow Magic Orchestra. He'd really love to lend you his CDs but most of his record collection is in Norway and New York. I officially can't stand this guy. The NHK News at 10 ends each broadcast with a moment of zen. The other day they showed a bunch of monkeys huddled together for warmth. They all stand on a rock in the sunlight, holding onto each other. Not just one little family of monkeys, but many families. Maybe 50 or 100. Scientists refer to this phenomenon as a monkey ball. Music: Gloria |
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2005.01.19 18.46 Neighborhood Gossip by Guest Columnist Pam You'll never believe it, but the white kitty in the alley had kittens! Four of em, from the looks of it. All pure white. Except one seems to have a little black spot on its head. But that might be just some coffee grounds from the garbage. And it seems Naomi is not going to divorce Ichiro after all! The Maple School is back in business. So that leaves the little matter of replacement teachers. Rumor has it the dark horse in the running is none other than Emmanuel, also known as Gary. But will he quit his contract with the infamous other school? Only time will tell. In health news, it seems that Pam has run into a few dental problems. Sources say that one wisdom tooth really should have came out. Luckily, the local dentist was kind enough to prescribe some kind of pills that are believed to be painkillers and antibiotics. And the jackhammers are at it again! Seems a new construction project is beginning outside. This time the banging and clanging is coming from the parking lot behind Marugen 60. Looks like no more beauty sleep for poor old Pam! Music: in the neighborhood- tom waits (t.) |
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2005.01.18 19.52 A baby gets into a car... My student Chikako makes pirate faces, Todd says. We all went out for drinks last night. At the Speakeasy we talked to some Australian guys who were here on business. Some kind of car company deal. The Boy named Tsu was there too, dressed in a dapper button-down shirt and soft blue cardigan sweater. He took us to a small bar called Water Dragon. It was completely decorated in brightly colored fishing lures. Chikako and I had whiskey and ginger ales. Todd was designated driver so he had a cream soda. Which was really a ball of ice cream in a green melon soda. After a night of drinking whiskey I had one of those post-drunken moments of clarity. I have lost all of my career aspirations. I no longer care about my job objective. I have no desire to enter any industry whatsoever. I'll just find some work when I run out of money. Yeah, that's the ticket. I get like this sometimes. Occasionally, my private conversation lessons take an ethical turn. Take today for instance. My student Naota is a newspaper reporter. He always calls at the last minute for a lesson during his lunch break. Today he wanted to talk about raising children. He said "In Japan, parents teach their children that the important things are harmony, politeness, and kindness. What do parents in America think are important things to teach children?" I said each family is different. The questions continued. "What will you teach your children if you have any?" "How can I help my wife with her stress from raising the children?" "Sometimes I get angry with the children. How can I stop it?" "What if the children grow up to kill me?" I heard on the news it was -54 degrees in Michigan. Can anyone confirm these reports? Music: the Triplets of Belleville soundtrack |
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2005.01.17 09.20 no rest for the wicked andrea and i have been talking about how to best use the money we've been saving while working in japan and we're pretty sure we've decided: platinum teeth. -t. |
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2005.01.13 23.20 Some anxiety Back to work. I've asked all my students what they did on New Year's. Most said they watched TV, ate food, and talked with their families. Not really so different from American Christmases at their most basic. It's official. We leave Japan in nine weeks. Our visas expire on March 22 so we're gonna fly to Michigan around my dad's birthday, March 14. And the Maple School is gonna pay for it. I can't believe we've almost been here a year already. So now what do we do? Here comes the anxiety. Lately I've been really grossed out by looking for a job. Every job I see online looks like it will suck out my very soul. Yet I'm strangely curious about the publishing world. I fluctuate on a daily basis. Am I actually going to work for a corporation again? I tried so hard to get out of my cube and now I'm going to go right back in? No. I can't do it. Yet I keep looking. By some miracle, The Life Aquatic found its way into our home. So we watched it. I didn't really feel any human connection with it. I did think it was funny when Bill Murray referred to the state of Kentucky as being "landlocked." Also Todd said the diving costumes looked just like a GI Joe guy. But I forgot the name. Music: david sylvian |
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