the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} nullspace) wrote,@ 2004-11-29 20:00:00 |
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| Current mood: |  sympathetic |
| Current music: | Rentrer en Soi - Wither |
The "Save the Magnum" Fund
Upon close inspection, I, with the help of Inez [madbunni], have concluded that Gackt is suffering from priapism.
What is priapism you ask? Well, in street terms, it's an everlasting hardon. And it is a potential threat to your health and your sexual performance. More information can be read here.
Now, do not panic fellow Magnumistes. If we work fast, we may be able to treat this condition adequately and free Gackt of his lifelong misery.
And this is why we have started the "Save the Magnum" fund.
Let me answer a few general questions about the fund and its purposes. I hope that these will furthur spark your interest in helping out.
How do you know that Gackt is suffering from this priapism?
Well, you cannot pretend you haven't noticed the constant bulge. It cannot possibly be healthy to have such a noticeable erection for years on end.
Maybe Gackt just isn't getting any!
... Oh I assure you, he is getting a lot.
What can I do to help?
You may pray for him and the wellbeing of his magnum each night in your prayers. You can also donate to our cause, so that if there comes a time where Gackt is in need of an operation or an amputation or even some relief in the form of prostitutes, we will be more than ready. No, not to prostitute ourselves but to provide him with the money necessary.
But Gackt's rich, won't he be able to afford this himself?
... Oh shut up you wise-ass.
Now, if anyone is interested in donating to the fund, you may send any cash or checks to the following address:
P.O. Box 392550
Phallic, SX 06660
Please promote the fund by placing the following banner in your userinfo.
Save the magnum!
The code is as follows [remove the *'s please]:
<*center><*img src="*uploadedtoyourownserver.com/saveth
<*a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/s
</center>
Thank you for your support. And yes, this entry is public.
On a side-note, thank you to everyone who commented on that last entry, your thoughts themselves were very kind <3
P.S. There isn't really a fund. So don't get too worked up. You can still spend that money on porn. We won't hate you. As for Gackt's illness, I cannot say that he is perfectly healthy. The world may never know.
