I've just seen the new Waitrose advert and I've made a decision - I'm only buying fish from them or from a fish stall like the3 ones you get at farmers markets as they are only stocking fish from sustainable stocks. This is something I feel v v v v passionate about in that I do my bit and don't eat cod at all - ever.
I think waitrose are fab fab fab

I've just realised after a very painful first week that I eat when I'm stressed - big time.
Came out from interview and promptly had a white coffee - something abstinence does not permit.... I've learnt from the experience and am back on the wagon now though.

Personal Message (Online)

The Witching Hour Workshop - Saturday 17/3/07
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The Witching Hour Workshops:

An introduction to Natural Magic by Val Thomas

Saturday 17th March 2007 3pm – 6pm with the Workshop beginning at 3.30pm sharp.


It will be followed by drinks in the Hall Bar
Drill Hall, 16 Chenies Street, London, WC1E 7EX
Directions: http://www.drillhall.co.uk/p75.html

We’re very pleased to announce our second workshop will be

An Introduction to Natural Magic by Val Thomas.

She will cover the cycles of the year and the power we can utilise from Nature.

We’re using a new venue, The Drill Hall, famous for it’s gay and lesbian based arts projects. We will be in Room 3, the reception desk will point you in the right direction.

We’re asking for £3 to cover room hire expenses.

For more details pop over to http://www.thewitchinghour.org.uk/london or email lily@thewitchinghour.org.uk.

6.30 pm
At this precise moment in time I hate my life I'm so fucked off with everything it's silly. Mostly my job actually and a bit about my romantic social life. I think there are 2 too many bitches in my life at the moment 1 at work and a thoughtless fuck of a bint in my 'romantic' personal life. Do I have mug written across my forehead NO may have done at one time but no longer so why the fuck does - actually it's the girl at work I'm ranting about - Madam N think she can speak to me like shit? Do I not stand up for myself enough? am I too laid back? why oh why does she think she can treat me like shit? I'm so angry hurt and pissed off I hate it. I hate feeling like this as I have no inner peace at all and normally I'm calm inside. All is not right with the world and I can't even blame my hormones.

ok did that earlier and then went to rant at John bout it. Feel much better now and even quite excited as I've now managed to contact Val again and she is going to talk for the 17.3.07 workshop on Natural Magic - cycles of the year and drawing on natural power I think is what she means.

Where shall I advertise it? Casp can help me as he knows all the places but until he answers the message I've just left him you can help!

bleugh just got 4 mins of my lunch hour left - wanna go home not back to work! oh well it's all money.
Looking forward to Popstarz tonite. Like being on here at work. Not at my desk though, I'm downstairs so it's poss for me to be on here.

Boo back to work for me now.

The Witching Hour Workshops:

Basic Meditation with Steve Wilson
(Caveat: no ridiculous pathworkings)

Saturday 20th January 2007
3pm - 6pm, followed by drinks at a nearby pub
Drill Hall, 16 Chenies Street, London, WC1E 7EX
Directions: http://www.drillhall.co.uk/p75.html

We're very pleased to announce our first workshop will be Basic Mediation by Steve Wilson, who also promises that there will be no silly pathworking...

We're using a new venue, The Drill Hall, famous for it's gay and lesbian based arts projects. We will be in Room 3, the reception desk will point you in the right direction.

We're asking for £3 to cover room hire expenses.

For more details pop over to http://www.thewitchinghour.org.uk/london or email lily@thewitchinghour.org.uk.

In response to Nev re my post about Shoog1 - Welcome to the shiny happiness that is me hun!

I'm going to shamelessly plug the site I'm involved with.

It's called The Witching Hour and is here *points* http://www.thewitchinghour.org.uk/

Please feel free to join and post. It's always fab to get a good cross-section of thoughts on things as it makes for good varied reading and sometimes we get inspiration - always a cool thing.

*gets off soapbox*

does anyone know of any 2 bed flat/houses going in the N4 area?

Bgger blimey shit I just got in from work. working a 12 hour day is not my idea of fun. Luckily I've only got 2 more days at workd till the start of my weekend as got Fri off. Really feel like getting really drunk but can't cos saving money for weekend.
Work is fucking stupid sometimes well one person in particualr. I don't know about other jobs but do they just rely on your dedication and conscience and let you work really short staffe doing 3 ppls jobs? Dentistry tends to be like that cos its full of tight-fisted bastards who do not value the staff that they have. Its no bloody wonder ppl are leaving. Hmm no still got pent up AAAHHHRRRRHHHHGGGGGHHHHHHHH bloody stupid womyn cancelled an agency nurse cos she was too expensive therefore not valuing the staff she has. GRR really fucks me off when my friends are upset and therefore that's why I just got in cos my friend has a child that she had to get home so I said I'd cover for her as the sedation unit was running 2 hours late!!! Imagine if you are a poor patient who's nervous anyhow but then you have to wait 2 hours cos of a fucking stupid bint who can't even wipe her own arse!!! I'd be really pissed off. Therefore they start complaining to reception and it goes like this til they are seen. I think the womyn who books the appts should be shot and will tell her tomorrow morning to not book a new sedation dentist so heavily. Anyone coming into the business could see that this is what she has done bloody stoopid womyn. I hae to say stoopid as I live in Norfolk now. And I would say look at what I writ!!!! writ what sort of a stupid fucking thick word is writ??
Ah better, eat now.

Well I've spent the day on the phone really when I ain't been on the phone I've been asleep. Everyone's been brilliant. Thanks for my comments guys and generally lotsa hugs I'm hug-hungry at the mo! My lil pink pigs been giving me lots! I've looked up what to expect or at least an idea and have a feeling I can feel even worse than I do now.
I was on the phone to Danny saying bout Daddy's funeral and that I could not bear the thought of him being in that box, He said think of it as his suit of clothes for this life ( he does not believe we come back) and I like that no to me its not his spirit but just his suit of clothes. Anyways Desperate Housewives is on now and my place is booked.

oh I can feel now boy how can I feel. I feel too much.

cooking my sandwich - in the microwave as thats how he did it. Phoned my friend and chatted for sometime. He was very cool.

What a cool weekend, stayed at Casp and Sparkx,thanks guys, painted Casp blue, snogged people and ate n darnk lots. My beautiful boyfriend came and met all my beautiful friends and a good time was had by all.
No bloody wonder then when I got off the coach in Norwich I felt a bit flat. For the first time since I have actually felt this is my home, I felt I didn't wanna be here. I wanted to be with Danny. I feel very loved by him and he assures me I'm not too hard work for him. I'm so programmed with negative relationship ideas that its scary. I felt I could not give a very close friend a big old hug cos Danny knew we'd had a "thing" at some point. So even though this is a open relationship I didn't, in case I made him angry with me or offended him. Eventually told him this and he said he loved me for me and knew I'm not a sit-by-your-boyfriend-all-nite type womyn at which point I got a huge rush of love for him and went to give my friend a big hug! Then flitted back and forth as I normally would, coming back to give my wonderful man a kiss and as I got drunker, nibbles on the neck! so don't do that normally!!

Well I cant believe that for one moment!! pmsl

Wow the last few days.... total mind fuck. I'm so terrified of relationships its untrue. But am finally in one with someone whom can and is willing to - and let me do it in my own time - commit to me. Fuck I'm sooooooo scared but so is he lol so its cool.

He's coming to the moot on Sat so will meet all my friends - he's not scared at all - much. Shit its the first meet that's the worse innit? I have all the first meets at the end of April.

I have even changed my advert on my dating site to womyn only! so boy I'm getting brave!

I've decided my language is getting bad in 1 lj there's 3 swear words! can I be bothered to take em out? Nah bollocks to it!! lol

Wow life cn just hit you between the eyes sometimes as is always the case. Danny is here and its wonderful. amazing. shit I cant work this shit out.
I feel so much. Was beginning to wonder if I was just falling in love with guys al over the place but have decided its the guys I'm meeting and the place I'm at and the fact that they are available to be with me so in that they are safe. The more that I have relationships the more that I realise that my old relationship was total shite.
Danny is here and I'm still able to go on my computer how wonderful is that - no my Mum would say is normal. Not as I know life and relationships it isn't. This is cool. I have been on the phone to my mother as well and Jase and I have not been told off its fantastic but I have to remember that this is normal. I have to remember that this is normal.

I HATE HOUSEWORK!!!!!!

Haring around my flat trying to make it look good for the weekend as Danny is coming and I want it to look good. Realised have serious anxiety issues that any guy that I'm involved with is gonna think I'm a slob as is a left-over from Dan. I clean but not excessively when friends come over and am much more able to say take me as ya find me.

Really pissed with myself missed 2 friends birthdays over last weekend - 1 saturday n 1 sunday. Gods if ma phone don't beep at me I am hopeless. Sorry hun if ya read this -ya know whom you are - hope you actually got the card thou cos I ain't sure.

I totally gobsmacked my sis on Monday as she didn't realise that I liked music such as Franz Ferdinand she thought I'd calmed down - said nah just more open to even more different music.

I love my nephew soooooooo much if I feel as protective as I do of him I don't understand how parents ever let their kids do anything!!

Ah how happy was I to get in the door at 3 today?? I worked a 12 hour day yesterday and 5 today - get paid for 10 thou as double!! so will bea able to save money for ma hol in May and hopefully will enable me to pay a couplea bills as well. Doing Good Friday as well so will be ok but do hope I'm not there 12 hours then but at least I know more wot to expect.
Gonna relax now hopefully chat to Danny, phone Andy and just chill maybe potter n tidy a bit but actually lol highly doubt it!

Wow have I found out a baaad side effect of poly or wot. I was so so tired after many evening spent on the phone with Danny (new guy - getting to grips wiv the name!!) that I came straight home, cried on the phone to him then promptly slept for 3 hours. So tired can't be bothered to eat - well gone past it now anyhow.
Just when I was bemoaning the fact - on phone to Danny - that I had come out to the only person left on the planet that did not realise that when I said bout finding girlfriends I did not mean girl friends I meant phwoar-look-at- her-girlfriends. I find it so hard cos I'm always expecting that go-away-you-disgusting-piece-of-shit attitude. I'm always so relieved when it does not happen. But as it has I always expect it now.
He said did you get post today? I sniffed no dont thnk so. Why? D:Ah go look hun L: k ...oh ah *finds large brown packet placed there by person downstairs and which I was in such a state I had not seen and left on stairs* L:oh darling *goes back to bed and opens said packet* *cries more as really lovely thing to do* thank you D: proceeds to tell me all bout songs on cd that he has sent me.
Bloody managed to put the smile back on my face and restore my soh. Bah was not wanting to be happy! too tired. Oh he's so lovely.

I managed to ask for the space that I needed tonite and he has respected it and not taken it personally as ex-Dan would have done, the more I experience other people and their reactions in a relationship the clearer that it becomes to me just how ??? don't know how to say it - fucked-up? Dan actually was.
All accumulating into a new realisation that I may not have been to blame!(they make you believe its your fault they behave as they do) That I had taken on Dan's - oh gods this is shit actually but so important - that I had taken on Dan's *total pain at this realisation* beliefs? ideas? comments? ugliness? darkness? about myself. In a small dark place deep inside, the belief is being shattered that I am wot Dan says I am - a fat lazy slobby totally undomesticated totally perverted dirty womyn. I AM NOT any of this. but wots more I didn't even know this was still here and am very disappointed that it is as I thought I'd come so far but, hey, Lise thats being really hard on yourself hun. You have found, acknowledged and this is gonna heal now.

Wow I love this journey its so miraculous. I open my heart to further freedom of Dan. Another string cut.