tofu · power

Look what I got up to since my last entry! No no...I didn't become a mother in the last few months. Actually I became an aunt to not one kid but two kids! A baby girl named Adelle Rosaline Barnaby and a baby boy named Marco Ong. And just setting the record straight, the kids aren't technically related to me...they belong to two different mothers, two of my best friends. But in asia...everybody is an "aunty" and "uncle" regardless if you're related or not. I always find it amusing when I have to explain to Big Mo or friends in aus why we call just about everyone here (older than you) aunty and uncle and not Mr James or just James.

My father has quit smoking. Seeing one of his best friend suffer from lung cancer made him decide to quit for good. We've been encouraging him on a day to day basis and days have now turned into weeks, this week will be his seventh week. I'm really excited about this because his longest without a stick was 10 days so i really hope (and fingers cross) that this time it's for real! I'll never understand why people choose to puff their lives away on one white stick. Life is so short and we're given a pair of healthy lungs and healthy working body...so why make that choice to pump extra fumes into our body? That being said, the magic stick must be fucking good if nearly everyone is smoking in this crazy world.

Wow the year is closing in soon, at times like this i feel like my life resembles a large fur ball…the kind of furry mess you take out from your vacuum cleaner and go bleh. So many decisions to make, so many choices to weigh out...dreams to ponder still. Like there's never enough time to really do the things you want to do. Or possibly most of the time you have is wasted and spent on doing other people's things.

Last night while lying in bed with big mo and having our usual chit chat. I always like chit chats in bed. During bedtime. That's the time when we just talk about stupid mindless stuff...or most of the time i ask him stupid mindless stuff. Anyway, yesterdays chit chat was about lost souls. Big mo seems to believe that when we die, our souls continue to live or float around (of course we don't have any first hand experience on this)..we're just assuming that this happens.

An intriguing thought. So i asked Big mo..."how do we find each other then? You won't have a body and i won't know what you look like." Then i started freaking myself out "Shit can we still be together in the after life? What if my soul doesn't float? What if i became an animal...or..or a tree instead?" Then i started making plans and freaking Big mo out, "ok we've got to think of something...we've got to think of some kind of signal to pass to each other so that i know it's you...or if you leave the world first...you come back and get me...like you come back to the house ok? So we won't lose each other ok? OK?"

Sometime in the middle of the night, Big mo woke me up to say, "Don't worry i'll find you ok? I always do."

I'm feeling:	curious
I'm dancing to:	Mr blue sky