I was having a really bad day. OMG. GAWD! SICK. I know its perfectly natural but I still feel weird. Are you there Glod it's me Oo-LaLa. I bought the Linda Evans face vibrator but I still have restless leg syndrom and I think I need some Restasis because I don't make enough of my own tears. Oh well. Love you all. This all for you,Damien!
A glamorous photo montage this time the background song is 'So F#*%IN' HOT!' sung by 'THE INSIDER'S' very own Pat O'Brien. "Go into the bathroom and leave me a voice mail..bye". "Um....your so f*&%in' hot". "Hire a hooker lets get crazy and get some coke".
I was staying at Preena's cousins house when I started doing the "hand thing". I could not stop. It got so bad that the next door neighbor,Jerron,started doing it too. Jerron also had a botched plastic surgery job to look more like me. Sick. Poor Jerron he took the tablets and will be gone by midnight. I heard...I heard...I heard.....GAWD.
KITTY CANDY...this is for you and you know who you are
[03 Dec 2006|03:48am]
Totally based on a true story. This "Trigger" appears on the DVD but I think its a different edit. Well enjoy...you know who you are. As for the rest of you you can enjoy it or not....repost it with the inevitable three letters,take your choice there is "OMG" or the always useful descriptor "WTF". Many people are going with the double whammy when posting my clips to their friends....I see everything and I am not upset.
Take a listen...the band is called The J-Rods. Conspirapop is born. Click the link below...when you get to the site click the "download mp3" button. Its a big file but it contains 5 or 6 songs...all of which are great. Then explore the world of The J-Rods. Tell them Shaye sent you.
Sorry about the first hello again post. I really did think it was hello again...but alas...It was a bit premature,like all sweet babies. I am certain that this hello again is really THE hello again,what do you think? So any way....Glenn Ford died! I thought he died in the '80's....after watching HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. Mellissa Sue Gilbert Allan was the star and she was so weird. She had brain surgery and her Mom was a delusionist who ruined everything by driving while drunk and angry. Poor Glenn:(
So......hmmm....Summer is nearly over...I can hear Jerry Lewis begging for his lovely kids....That is how I know I will soon be a year older...back to school and Mr. Lewis begging for 48 hours...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! When I was about 6 years old I pledged a dollar,all the change on my desk,to poor Jerry...just to make him stop bothering me. I told my Mom and she was so proud of me. About a month or two later,after I had spent the money on candy,an envelope came in the mail demanding a 6 year old make good on a dollar pledge. The envelope had a picture of Jerry holding a child in his arms weeping. Under the picture were the words "MAYBE YOU FORGOT ABOUT MARY? BUT MARY HAS NOT FORGOTTEN YOU." My Mom wrote a check immediately...after all they did have our address. Years later I saw Mary at ALBERTSONS and she had not forgotten me and I had not forgotten her. SICK!!!!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Summer...I did...I think....Sav-On is now CVS!!!!!
Well...I need to go and do things but I promise to be much more active on-line in the coming year...because I really want to...for a while there...I really did not want to...too many bad apples spoiling the whole bunch....too many issues to deal with.....I did not look at my e-mail for nearly a year! I promise I won't do that again,what a mess. You know? Or maybe you don't...but I think you do.
I want to carry your babies to term.....I missed all of you,especially the ones that did not cut me from your friends list due to my long absence. You are truly the cream that will rise. I hope all is well....I will make a longer update asap...swear to Buddha.
Guess who turned 49 today? You know who. That blonde,shining teen dream from the '70's. Gold strands parted in the middle sometimes pulled back in a bun or held back with barretts and Dippity-Doo. The girl who got the lead in Romeo and Juliet but had to drop out because her mother thought she was getting too "high falutin". The girl who thought she was too good for Charlie so she accepted Doug Simpson's offer. The girl who grew up to become a woman and a retro icon for the '90's. The woman,who when I wrote her a nice e-mail explaining things to her, had the nerve to have her assistant write me back a form letter telling me "she is too busy to answer e-mails". You must know,by now,who I am talking about. No..? The former teen queen who grew up to have a daughter. A daughter who somehow found my website and discovered details regarding my fued with her aging mom. The woman who after seeing the page on my site wrote me an e-mail explaining how she "suffers from many of the same problems" that I do. Yep....you got it. Maureen McCormick a.k.a. Marcia Brady! Maureen,though she prefers to be called Mo?! Don't ask her why she calls herself Mo unless you have 3 hours to waste and you want to hear about her mom finding bugs on a watermelon,her grandfather crying during a Chapstick commercial, and baby Maureen saying "mee mee moe moe" till her father divorced her mother. I am wishing Mo a Happy Birthday,here on LJ,because I know her daughter,Janey,reads my journal. Janey then reports the details back to Mo. I like Janey because she has told me secrets about mother Mo. Janey broke into Sherwood Schwartz'z mansion to steal the unretouched photos of her then teen mom. Janey said her mom used to suffer from some kind of "deforming facial disease" that would cause her face to look like this............. Ooops...I wasn't supposed to let anyone see those photos. Oh well. Sorry,Janey but you knew I would probably do this during one of my manic attacks. Mo may get upset at me for showing you these two photos. Though she is the one who sends me e-mails with photos like this......... and captions like this,"Hi Shaye! Look! I only got one arm too! Janey and me want to do wired therapy with you! I got Janey a couple of dolls and I named one Shaye and the other Mo! I made Janey give the dolls medicine!Oh yeah,I got the sores again too!". WTF! OMG. Real nice,eh? Does she think I am pleased to see and read that trash? Janey said that Mo paints sores on her face,lays on her couch surrounded by pillows,puts a thermometer in her mouth,and calls people telling them that she "has the sores". Janey says Mo will do this for days on end. One time Mo called her TV mom Florence Henderson and told her she "had the sores and only one arm"!!! This traumatic news caused Florence to get so freaked out that she began to run around her livingroom, her nightgown got too close to the fireplace,that had a roaring fire in it at the time,causing the sheer nightie to burst into flames. When Mo heard about what happened to Florence she sent e-mails out,to everyone in her address book,with only this picture attached. WTF? Florence's son,Fanny,got so enraged by the e-mail that he threatened to molest himself if Mo did not apologize within 2 days. Mo apologized in 3 days. Fanny is now institutionalized and taking part in a new radically extreme "self molestation" therapy at a local Jenny Craig Weight Loss Center. The receptionist at JCWLC told me,when I called to see if Fanny was getting better,that she thought Fanny would probably become highly retarded within 1 year,within 2 years she thought he would probably get a little better,she thought within 3 years Fanny would die in a plane crash,with a baby he will have kidnapped in order to stop his recent unending delusional thoughts of his blood turning to "pig sand" causing the "heaven angels to burn up in their nighties". Poor Fanny:( A friend of mine,who knows all about the Mo situation, sent me this photo...... with the caption,"Looks like Mo gots the virus,eh?". The virus?! I called Janey and asked her if Mo had the virus. Janey said that Mo was trying to be "ana" (wtf!) so she could get on The View! I do not want to know what "ana" is because if I did know I would probably wanna be "ana" too, and get on The View. Mo recorded the album When You Get A Little Lonely,seen above,as part of her plan to get on The View. Mo said all the songs are about "me being all ana and stuff". A friend of Pixston's,who works as a production assistant on The View,told Pixston that when the album arrived by "special delivery" Meredith Viera looked at the cover and said "What a hoe!" then she looked at the back cover to read the titles of the songs and said "the hoe is ana!". This caused Joy Behar to reveal that she too was "all ana and stuff" after an extensive hair styling session at Jose Eber's Salon. Joy's revelation caused Star Jones to get all righteous and talk about "getting your groove on when you need to get your groove on" and then rant about "furs keeping you warm and toasty when its 30 degrees outside" and finally how she "adores diamonds and jewels". Finally,not wanting to be left out,the young blonde co-host revealed that she likes to give "vom baths" to hobos while disguising herself as a cross between Annie Lennox and Dee Wallace. The audience erupted in tones of approval having been witness to juicy secrets. In the end the producers of The View decided Maureen was "way to gross" to be on the show. The head producer had Maury Povich call Mo and tell her she was scheduled to be "ana" on The View next week. When Mo heard the "fake" news she sent e-mails to every one she knows with this picture attached.... Uh? An autograph? Then she sent these photos........ asking people to decide which "look was more ana?" I voted for the "ana cowgirl". Then Mo sends this photo.... with this caption "I am totally sitting like this on the show. It really looks like I am talking about being ana and stuff. I bet Bloomingdales wanted an ana look to the ad.What do you think?". What do I think? I think if she sits like that with that look on her face everybody will believe she indeed has problems. Finally,a couplr of days ago,I get this e-mail from Mo. "Shaye,I am going to pose like this during the parts when Barbra Walters interviews me. I look so ana in this picture. Bye,Mo".
Good Bye,Mo and Happy Birthday you piece of ana trash
Mega Super-Duper International Movie Star Tom Cruise recently e-mailed me. I have been on his radar for a year now,due to my song RBA (Raped By Ants). Tom thought the song was a metaphor for the misunderstandings surrounding the making of Vanilla Sky?! Whatever. I tried to tell him that the song was literally about being raped by ants and had nothing to do about Vanilla Sky which I had not seen. Tom said he did not care what I meant the song to be about because an alien named Tylon5 told him what it was really about. I agreed that Tylon5 was correct and I was sorry that I lied to him. Tom forgave me. Good. Whatever. Now, one year later, Tom Cruise has gone insane. What follows is the e-mail he sent me dated July 3rd,his Birthday.
Hello Shaye, I am distressed by what I have just been told. I thought you were better than that. I thought you cared about important things. As I do. Katy,the love of my life,said that your website has encoded messages that caused her to "make brown" in her new Valentino jumpsuit. A jumpsuit that costs over $120,000 smackers! I did not believe her at first. I told Kirstie Alley what Katy had told me. Kirstie said that your site's encoded messages caused her to think she was Kristy MacNichol causing her to send photos of her eating "personal brown" to Lief Garrett.Why would you encode such messages? Katy is a very trusting young woman with learning disabilities. Until last year her Mom dressed and fed her.Now,Katy can not stay off your site! She claims the messages wake her at night and cause her to download photos of bruises. Shaye,Katy calls the photos "pictures of hurties"! Shaye,take the encoded messages off your site. Now! I am a very powerful person. Oprah is one of my best friends. Oprah is well aware of your site and the encoded messages. Oprah's best friend Gayle Married her hands after staying on your site for a couple of hours. Oprah plans to do a whole show on the Wedding,the abuse and the subsequent divorce. Gayle is now a shell of what she once was and it is because of your site. I have heard other horror stories regarding your encrypted mind controling messages. It needs to stop now. If it does not stop I will be forced to take further action. Shaye,do not play with fire.
Katy will go on your site July 15th at 5 p.m. if the messages are still there you will hear from me.
Thank you, TC
OMG! I swear that I have no idea what he is talking about. I do not have encrypted mind controlling messages on my site. If I did have encoded messages on my site they would not be the type that cause people to "make brown",Marry their hands,or make them think they were Kristy MacNichol! Gawd. I just got back from a nice vacation. I was ready to read my mail and get back into the swing of things. Now I just want to run away again. Oh well. Gawd.
Two days after the first e-mail Tom sent another. This one had a picture of him with a short message.
After I murder I like to pose this way. I like to watch the angels kidnap. BTW,Katy "made brown" in a Versace last night.
A friend of mine told me that Stevie Nicks needed a blower to go on tour with the band,FWM,during the drug hazed '70's. Is this a rumor? Karen said that Stevie did so much blow her nose cavity had distentegrated. Thats why Stevie insisted on having a blower accompany the band on every tour. Stevie was totally addicted to blow at the time and could not,would not,stop using. Stevie Nick's nasal cavity could no longer accept her 1 pound a week habit. Karen said the blower would blow the blow up a tube that led to Stevie's butt. Is this a rumor? Karen said many blow addicts use a blower or become one themselves due to the high cost of employing a full time blower. Rumor? Fact? Stevie claims that it was Donna Summers who had a blower and also claims that during the '70's she enjoyed molesting herself till she cried. Omg! Briquette sent me this photo taken after the HAPPY TURKEY DAY "premiere" at the Nuart. (From left to right;Ian Brewer, Pam Holland, Me, Kiki, Carl Crew, and Eloid Ruiz.) That night was so weird because this old lady got all "freaked out" when she saw me handing out stickers and candy. Briqutte sent me this particular photo because it has Carl and Me in it...at the same time, in the same place. Briquette said she heard an internet rumor about about Carl being bald and me being Carl. I am not Carl, I wish, and Carl is not bald, they wish. Why such an interest in knowing who I am? I am Shaye....What do you think you will discover? Why such enormous curiosity? I could be Carnie Wilson for all you know and who cares if I am? What if I was Joan Van Ark's daughter? would it make much difference? Probably. All I can say is that Carl is not me and vice versa. Ringo is the walrus. I buried Paul. Karen said that the blower is behind Mick Fleetwood,thats why he is standing that way. Mick is trying to hide the blower. Nick's butt is facing inward and she looks all slumpy. That could be caused by the tube that Stevie had inserted prior to the photo session. Even if it is true it does not change my opinion of Stevie one bit. After testifying at Stevie's blow trial. I told the judge that I thought the tube and the blower could be a rumor. Stevie was totally found not guilty.
This is a recent e-mail I received. I have received many e-mails regarding the article in Bizarre. Some are nice some are mean and some,like this one,don't really fit into an easily defined category.
Hello,
I enjoy your website. However I can't help but cringe whenever I think about your comments about the "English" spelling that was used in the Bizarre Magazine article on you. Uh, what language do Americans believe they are speaking? (Note: you are not uncommon in this way.You are, sadly, like a great majority of American people when it comes to certain crucial areas, therefore I'm guessing that you all have very similar reasons for thinking the way you do about certain things). Please shed some light on why you appear to have forgotten what language you speak. 'Mis-spelt words...funny English spelling...' ahahaha, weeee... Something is just not right with your 'art'--gasp--could it have anything to do with stupidity and ignorance. YOU MUST LEARN TO COVER IT UP IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN INTELLIGENT ADMIRERS INSTEAD OF IMPRESSIONABLE, DICKHEADED, SOCIALITE SCENESTERS! Do yourself a favour and invest considerably more time into educating yourself, it can only benefit your art and reputation.
Sincerely, Stephanie
Huh? What? Gawd. I am guilty as charged. I am what I am. I never said I was smart. I have always been honest about my myriad of problems. I guess my comments really freaked her out. Why does she say those mean things about my "admirers"? Stephanie makes sweeping generalizations and that is not intelligent. As you can see from the photo,below,not all my admirers are "impressionable,dickheaded,socialite scenesters". Cornelia,is in no way a socialite scenster. Cornelia likes it when I say "Hello again". Her mother pays me 100 dollars a day to call Cornie on her phone. When she answers I just say "Hello again" over and over for like an hour. Cornelia laughs the whole time. Sick.
Pat got out of rehab and he is going on Dr. Phil to show the world that he really wants to change. I hope he stops bothering my friends. I had my band come up with a song for POB. I played it for him over the phone. http://www.shayesaintjohn.com/so-hot.MP3 If you want to hear what POB heard download from the link above. I love writing songs for special people for special occasions.
I need to write a song for uglyshyla very soon. A while baqck she sent me a package and inside the package was a doll dressed like me! There were also 2 blue wigs and some cool Ugly Shyla buttons and some postcards. What a sweet and creative gift. Thats the doll posing with the cutest 3 legged kitty ever,Scooter. Thanks again Ugly:)
Go read the interview of my good friend Carl Crew a.k.a. twoheaded He is the star in a film called Blood Diner and is being interviewed specifically about that film though he also played Jefferey Dahmer...sick! Here is the link. http://www.horrorgraphs.cjb.net/
I will be leaving the state of California soon. I may head back to the cabin in the woods. I have not decided as of yet. I can't believe Summer is here,again. Can you? Sick.
A little while back I was interviewed by a woman,Kate Hodges,for a magazine called Bizarre. I was,and still am,unfamiliar with the magazine. It is UK based but can be bought at newstands here in the US. I have not seen the article yet but have received many e-mails by people who have. Kate said she is sending me a couple copies but have yet to find them in my mailbox. A friend of mine,Adam De Ville,who happens to live in the UK sent me these scans of the article. I am surprised by how much space they devoted to me. I thought it would be a page with the short interview and a picture or two. I am dying to read it....I hope it is filled with lies and gossip. Look,they spelled diarhea wrong....or is that the "english" spelling? Like favourite. Gawd. If any of you want a copy to call there own this is what the cover looks like. I am in the Japanese Sexplosion issue! Awesome possum. Yay for me. I bet Pat O'Brien started drinking in his rehab chamber when he heard about it. He hates me because I wouldn't take pictures of him molesting himself with MJ's white "glitter glove". POB is so weird. Have you heard the audio files of him? Sick! I wish I had saved the messages he left on my answering machine. On one of them he said "I want to lick up robot skee skee out of Swanks fetch bag". What in th H is a "fetch bag"? Oh well.
I also wanted to share this wonderful piece of art that my friend Leanne created. Leanne's other amazing art works can be viewed here. http://gidgiegrave.deviantart.com/ I am ready for my SP cameo. I want to get sores and end up with a feeding tube made out of diamonds and rust. OMG...did you all see that girl on Americas Next Top Model get sores last week?! It looked like "asian garbage roundies" but they called it something else on the show. I loved when the ghetto girl confided in Tyra about feeling weird at the nice restaraunts. Tyra was all "salmon with creme fresh...I didn't know what that was when I first started modeling...but I learned". Now I am just rambling....I want to take up space and slow your friends page down. Blake is right...I am such a huckster and so insincere. I use my journal to get attention...I am a big baby. I was reading one of his last posts and started thinking how sad he must be. He wastes so much energy on "dissing" me. A friend of mine said that people like Blake are "created" by people like me. He said that I was Blake's feeding tube! I am not really sure what he meant but I think he may be right. I am writing about Blake right now because I want to give him a thrill....Hi Blake are your undies getting all soggy? Oo-la-la....are you crying as you read this? You will have so much to tell your mommy while she gives you your wednesday bubble bath. I can hear the conversation right now...
Blake: Momma,Shaye wrote abouts me in her LJ today. Mommy: Shaye,shaye,shaye...stop talking about that wicked woman. Fancy milk bubbles! Harlot! Blake: Momma,do you think I will ever be normal? Mommy: No. Blake: Poops coming out of my kanoe. Mommy: Good,Momma's hungry.
Omg! Sorry folks but that is how the converstion went. I can't believe those two sickies. Momma should have given him to the angels when he was born but she was weak and backsliding. Now the devil has come home.
Due to all the publicity surrounding Terry Schiavo I feel compelled to ask all of you to be witnesses to my simple request.
By now most of you have heard of Terry Schiavo and the firestorm surrounding her. If you have not heard,please read a newspaper or watch your local news. Awareness is half the battle.
Shaye Saint John's Living Will.
If for any reason I become a breathing vegetable,remove the tube. My eyes do not follow the mickey mouse balloon,you are only deceiving yourself and causing me more torment. Remove the tube. Do not put your face 3 inches from mine asking me,in a soft voice,if I "want to say something?". I will not know you are there. My brain has liquified and I do not comprehend a single thing. Remove the tube. Do not video tape me for 6 hours to enable you to edit 20 seconds of me jerking and twitching. These responses are not signs of anything more than my body jerking and twitching, involuntarily. I think,therefore I am. I twitch,therefore I was. I am not alive anymore. I am just breathing and twitching. Remove the tube. I did a lot of jerking and twitching while I was alive so rest assured,I have had my fill. Please do not put make-up on my face to show me off to the right wing establishment. I was not part of there agenda when I was alive and do not like to be a pawn to there plans when I am a vegetable. Please,remove the tube. Please let fond memories of me be enough to sustain you. Do not let selfish reasoning misdirect logical thought. If you must prolong the inevitable please let it last no longer than one year. In that year try to come to terms with what I have requested and be brave enough to remove the tube. If Kiki wants to do the honors let her. I have spoken with her of my desire and she is keen to be part of the festivities. I would do the same for her if such a situation arose. I,Shaye Saint John,do not wish to be kept alive through artificial means. Please let me go,since I am already gone. Please,remove the tube.
Well,I am so glad to get that off my chest. Those of you who have read this are witnesses to it. If you are called to testify I hope you are brave enough to do so. I have no plans to become a human vegetable. I just wanted to be sure that if I did my friends would know what I desire.
Some of you already know this but many of you might not.After telling people for over a year that my DVD will be out soon the day has finally arrived! It took so long to be released,finished over a year ago,I even started thinking that this time might never come. "These things take time",was all I kept hearing. I must agree,these things definitely do take time. All that is now water under the freeway overpass. Before I forget let me give you all the link to the info regarding how to order.
At that page you will be able to see the front cover to the DVD. I am so proud of the excellent,as always,artwork that edmironiuk created for me. I think people should buy it for the artwork alone. Click the link on that page to see the back cover,which includes another Mironiuk illustration featuring the beautiful lenoraclaire and myself. If you are unfamiliar with Mr. Mironiuk's art you must familiarize yourself immediately. (edmironiuk.com) I cannot say enough about his contribution to the finished product.
I wish I could give everyone who wants one a free copy but alas I cannot. Please,if you can afford it,buy a copy, support everything that is right and good in this world. It will make you feel wonderful too. Make me big in Japan....please.
At the moment the DVD can only be bought through Indicanpictures website. That will change soon and I will have it on sale at my webstore too. With any luck it will also be available through stores such as Kim's,Amoeba,Tower and other places of that nature....but don't wait buy now and show the world you care about the future.
The DVD features over 2 hours of things to watch. I have included many "easter eggs" for you to discover while interacting with the disc! I have tried my best to load it with stuff and I think I accomplished that task. I can hardly wait to hear what you think. I am eagerly awaiting the bad reviews as much as the good.
I am so excited....GAWWWWWD! Thank you and please have a delicious day.
I woke up with a sore throat and a runny nose! GAWD! I am soooo sick. I always get sick when I travel,I am in Bloomington Indiana as I write this. I have been traveling around this beautiful USA for the last 2 weeks. I eneded up in Bloomington last weekend. Now I am sick. The weather here has been mild for this time of year. I ate biscuits and gravy!!!!OMG! Oh well. I have been spending way too much time on Myspace recently. I have no idea why I gravitate towards it the way I do....help me,please....no way. Oh well. On myspace people write comments,just like on LJ,but the comments are not connected to anything such as a recently written post.....its weird...and fun...and sooo dumb. I like to love it. I just coughed and it hurt:( I have to remember i just put some biscuits in the oven...oh gawd! I always forget then my step-papaw beats be with a "strap"....ouch-ola! To the max! Oh well.Check out Jana!!!!! I love little Jana's suck activatated mouth! To the max! Thanks,Klaus. Speaking of Klaus......Have you heard what happened to his myspace account? OMG!!!It got hacked!Someone deleted his friends list till it got down to 11!!!!! OMG! I hate hackers! I do,I really do! I just watched HOME ALONE 3......gawd! So wonderful it was! That child was incredible! omg! I wish I was lounging by my beautiful hollywood pool....I like to add pictures to my posts...DUH!!!!Does anyone have any homespun remedies for sickness? No,not that one.....gawd!I ate at Rally's last night!!!!!I ate a BigBuford!!!!! OMG!I wish I had pictures of all the clothes i bought....they are sooo sexy,like that one girls....gawd!!!I am coughing real bad right now so I better go......
Go to "comingsoon" button...then click the button that says "home video" or something like that,then click on the picture of Kiki and me.....this will take you to where you need to be. Bombard IndicanPictures with hits and e-mails...."I want my Shaye-TV!!!" Thanks. I hope everyone had a wonderful TurkeyDay.....I did.
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