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| ....if you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jan. 26th, 2007 @ 09:05 am 2 cents is your change | |||
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| My sausage egg and cheese bagel combo at McDonald's just cost around $5. It gave me pause. That's 45 minutes of my time at a freezing drive-through window or scooping chili grease out of a sink. I've had two days of work so far (today I'm heading to Cincy for a shrink appointment so not working again until Monday). Yesterday one of the crew asked me, "How do you like it so far?" "I hate it. Don't all of you?" (Big grin while I said that by the way). I'm the first window of drive-through. It's 28 degrees out. I have a few pointers for everyone about being in a drive-through: Please have your money relatively ready when you get to the window. I can't wear gloves as I'm running to a sink whenever I don't have customers. Please don't be smoking in my face...I know you have your window hand holding it so the noxious smoke doesn't totally fill up your car but yeah, it's noxious smoke. Please don't insist the order is wrong because you're remembering 15 years ago when Biggie drinks and fries were 99 cents. I brought hand cream and chap stick the second day. I'm never going to get off on time. That will always cause me to screw up something going on with the kids. After a few more days I'm sure that won't make me feel like crying anymore. And I'll be getting to comments this weekend...been VERY busy. Even though I only work 5ish hours a day, I still have all the stuff do to for the kids and dinner. My days will now be from about 7am until 9pm of very little free time. But to whoever it was (I forget right now sorry) that said Hey maybe this will be your favorite job!--No. I'm not bitter or whatever, but it's greasy smelly fast food with oblivious customers and not always the smartest co-workers and managers. It's actually the best test possible for whether I'm able to move on in a few months to something else. | ||
| Jan. 23rd, 2007 @ 12:22 pm one of those unfriending posts | |||
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| Hi there, I don't LJ much (if at all) anymore. I hope for the many many people just affected that you read this post at some point so you don't think the wrong kind of thing about just being unfriended by me. ('Cuz god I hate that because of all my relationship neurosis when that happens to me...). I just read my FL the last couple of days back for the first time in months. And I realized that sure, I can make a filter and click on the dot dot dot and none of you would be ever the wiser that the one time in three months I actually read I didn't read your post. But I don't want to. Unlike every other time I've done an unfriending, I'm totally healthy and not freaked out by any of you. I just have come to a different place in this whole livejournal thing. To be honest, if it weren't for having 4 years worth of entries I'd probably move to a less community kind of blog site in order to write down my thoughts and adventures. The vast majority of people I just removed from my reading list (because really, this "friends" vocabulary really needs to stop :P) I think are interesting worthy creative intelligent people, I just am some random person in Southwest Ohio who decided to impersonally cut down on the amount of responsibility I feel to livejournal. One case in particular (the wife of someone I DID keep on my list) I would like to know it was nothing at all personal. When I just read a couple days worth of entries and remembering the past, I realized I can keep up with how it's going with you pretty well. Plus it's not like you post a lot ;) There are a few others of you that I might see around town and we hardly ever talk in LJ. (Hey Sam, Please keep me as YOUR friend since you obviously do keep up with reading even if I'm not, and always feel free to comment to my last entry "Hey, check out what's going on with me!". Same with you Jess). I just want to now have a much much condensed FL so that if someone new does look me up for some reason, they'll get the idea I'm unsociable ;) Anyway, if I ever DO become obsessive about writing, commenting, posting in Livejournal again, there are several of you I just removed that I'll probably look up again and refriend. If you don't end up friending me back in that circumstance that's just life and I won't take it personally. Good luck and happiness to you all. | ||
| Jan. 23rd, 2007 @ 11:34 am so what's up, anyway? | |||
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| The funny anecdote I forgot to mention in my way-too-long-for-an-uncut-post post (and sorry about that--was at that internet phone and just typing away with really crappy monitor situation so I didn't throw in the cut tag): so I make my bed EVERY MORNING. At the hotel after getting up I HAD to make my bed. And I did. And there were all these decorator pillows, and the spread, and I made it perfectly. So perfectly it looked exactly like it did when I came into the room the night before. So I pondered my situation and then unmade the bed so housekeeping wouldn't be lazy or something and not change the sheets. * * * * * There is big news in my life currently. I have mixed feelings about it...because I have a college degree, I used to make $35k/year at the job I wanted to retire from. And...would you like fries with that? Yes, after 5 years, not counting the month at Wal-mart when I really shouldn't have been working anyway, I start my crew member position at Wendy's today. I talked it over almost the whole session with my therapist last week. She reinforced what I already knew: This isn't a sign of failure, or selling myself short. Circumstances beyond my control caused me to lose my job. I haven't worked for 5 years. I had barely any job experience before my position at Miami aside from student jobs. This is a stepping stone, starting perhaps yes at the beginning again, to either finding out I shouldn't be working because of stress and energy issues or to getting something better in a few months. * * * * * Rachel needs to shape up. She has an in-school suspension in the next couple of weeks. Not for anything outrageous, but for a proliferation of behavior points at her school. But still. Goodness, took me until highschool to get one of those ;). * * * * * While I was gone it snowed here for the first time this winter. Bob took Alyssa out to build her very first snowman, and she tried to do a snow angel too. He videotaped so I got to share in the experience too. | ||
| Jan. 22nd, 2007 @ 10:25 am travel adventures: the rest of the weekend | |||
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| This also is one of the most expensive LJ posts in history. This Internet phone thing I'm sitting at is claiming it's 25 cents a minute and that would mean an hour is $15 (not bad), but we'll have to see how it pans out on the credit card.... At least the keyboard is better than the kiosk I was at in Cleveland. I've had lots and lots of adventures since last I posted. I noticed when I was on very very briefly Saturday that some of you commented to my previous post. I'll have to get back to you later (which, surprise surprise coming from me lately, I was planning on doing :) ). However, this internet phone has decided that the content on my journal can not be viewed. I also tried to view the journals of a few of you guys and your content isn't allowed either. Shame on us! ;) I finally did get to Baltimore on Friday 7 hours later than I was initially supposed to. The next flight they could put me on after my missed flight was at 4:40, and that kept getting delayed until 6:45 or so. But upon arrival Amy and Sandy found me, though they had gotten incorrect arrival info from Continental, but luckily only by 15 minutes. So I wasn't waiting long in the 30 degree weather. They then took me to a great Mexican restaurant (MMMM Mexican!) and the rest of the evening was uneventful as I caught up with them and got the tour of their house. And got to touch Amy's belly! She's always been such a tiny thing and it was neat seeing her pregnant. I discovered Amy and Sandy (at least when they didn't have to go to work) are extremely mellow about getting up in the morning. No one who knows me well will believe this, but I was up before them making myself tea and doing puzzles in the puzzle mag I'd bought at the airport the day before. (I'm totally stuck in Final Fantasy). I don't sleep well with my lamictal, and my body needing to take it in the morning actually gets me up around 7:30 or 8 naturally. Later in the day we went to Amy and Sandy's baby shower hosted by a friend of Sandy's. The house was INCREDIBLE. These people must be well off. 5 bedrooms, a playroom for their little girl that was, no exaggeration, bigger than my kitchen, living room, and dining room combined. The master bedroom suite (with his and her bathrooms) was bigger than all 3 bedrooms in my house combined. And great food, very cool people there for the shower. Highlights include me holding a 3 month old baby for awhile, SO CUTE, named Mason. And hearing and telling labor stories, most hilarious was the one where the water broke at home and the lady proceeded to shower for the hospital. That's normal enough of ccourse, but when the labor pains already got really bad in the shower, she still insisted on getting completely ready for the birth. As in full makeup, CURLING HER EYELASHES!!!, finding her pearls!!!, etc. She almost ended up having the baby in the car. She probably would have but her husband finally forced her to leave before she had totally finished. By the time we were totally done with shower it was pretty late in the day, so we went back to the house and I helped out with moving furniture around the nursery, giving baby advice, and giving them the suitcase full of clothes and toys I had brought. The next day we had another mellow morning, and then we went on an early lunch to G & M, "the best crabcakes in Maryland". I totally believe it. I had an intensely good crabcake. Then we drove over to Fells Point despite the temperature dropping rapidly. I am a HUGE fan of the television show Homicide: Life on the Streets. The building where the show was filmed, and the bar where many scenes took place, are across the street from each other there. Sandy took my picture in front of the plaque on the building that says Homicide was filmed there, and also in the bar where I made sure to have a beer. I also bought for myself and my dad each a pint glass that had The Waterfront's name on it. Amy tried to get me to also take a picture in front of the part of the building that said "Police Station" from when the show was filmed, but I was already really cold and just wanted to get to the car. I regret that now but luckily I'm not too sentimental so just being able to say I had a beer at the Waterfront and having the pictures I DO have will be good enough. The thing about the whole Homicide thing that was great was that I finally got to do it! The whole Kim insanity last year had actually brought me to Baltimore, albeit just the airport, but of course there was no time to visit the Fells Point area. I had many years before promised myself that I would visit the bar etc. the first visit I had to Baltimore...so it turns out it was the second but that's OK. We then had an had time to go to Babies 'R' Us before I had to go to the airport, so we drove there so Amy and Sandy could exchange some stuff from the baby shower. By the time we got out of the store, TONS of snow and dropped temperature. We drove back to the house, made sure the flight was on time, and then went to the airport. Amy and Sandy made me promise that if the flight didn't go out I would call them and have a place to stay for the night. So...half hour delay worried me because my connecting flight was QUITE close to the initial arrival time. I went up to the gate podium and asked if it would be OK. "Dayton? Yeah we checked on you guys connecting to Dayton. That flight is delayed too and your gate is really close by anyway. Don't worry." OK.... We embarked on the plane, and sat for a good half hour before taxiing ANYWHERE. Then the pilot announced that we needed to get de-iced (which, you know, is a good thing so the plane doesn't crash, but). THEN we finally left about an hour and a half late. Arrived in Newark. The whole delay and flight process I'm not so secretly hoping we miss the connecting flight so I can go to the city. And indeed. The connecting flight was NOT delayed. It left a half hour before I arrivved. I went to the service desk and explained my plight. (I tried first to call a family friend in the city -- NYC for those who don't know where Newark is -- but she wasn't home). The first flight home was at 6:45 AM. I asked where I was staying that night and was told that problems with connections due to weather did not get put up anywhere. Uh uh. I explained about the Continental Rep telling me it was OK, that the connection was delayed, that I DID have somewhere I could have stayed in Baltimore. I then said, "Let me tell you about my Friday..." The customer service rep gave me a night at the Howard Johnson, a voucher for dinner, a voucher for breakfast, and a voucher for lunch at the airport. She originally set me up for the 6:45 flight because that's what they do, they put you on the most timely flight out. But I told her that I had a disability that had me on medication where there was no way I'd make it back to the airport by 5:30am. That IS somewhat true, but I was definitely stretching it. My secret plan was to make it to the city in the morning. So my flight is at 2:35pm today. I hope. While waiting for the shuttle, I was standing next to an old lady in a wheelchair accompanied by airport security. Suddenly the security agent turns to me and says, "Are you going to the Howard Johnson? Would you mind taking care of this lady and making sure she gets in ok?" I was REALLY surprised that some stranger out of the blue would be entrusted with something like that, but I did agree. So for a short time I was the companion of Jenny from Glasgow, 83 years old, who had gotten screwed due to delays out of her international flight back home. HER next flight wasn't until 10pm the next day! The shuttle arrived and we all started noticing we were not going to the Howard Johnson. We kept asking where we were going but the driver and the other guy didn't really answer us. They dumped us off at some hotel I didn't catch at the time, and we all were like, "Wah?", but showed our vouchers to the front desk and were ushered right in. It took me quite a while to catch on I was at a Sheraton. $250 a night! The room was HUGE. The mattress was awesome. In the meantime, I had some trouble using the phone to call Bob, so I kept dealing with the front desk. Finally the front desk guy asked me to come down to use my credit card so he could activate the phone. I did and before he punched my number in he suddenly handed the card back and asked, "How many phone calls are you going to make?" I answered one, and he waved it off and said, "Just go ahead and call." "Um, it's going to be long distance...?" I said. "No no that's OK." All of that gave me the impression this was going to be free. And the thing was, I was totally willing to pay but I wanted it through a phone company on my credit card, not through the hotel because I knew THAT was going to be exorbinant. OK, so I called Bob (still thinking I'm at a Howard Johnson, so that's what I told him), and then after talking for 20 minutes decided to go to dinner. Ick, the food was so-so. I didn't want to pull out my credit card for a couple of dollars, and I was out of cash, so before ordering I said to the server, "I am SO SO sorry but I can't tip you and here's why." He was totally cool. But then I found McDonald's gift certificates that I had in my purse, so I gave him $3 in certificates, and my $1.50 in change from my purse. Hehehe. I took my ambien, took a great shower, turned on Law and Order, and totally fell asleep. I turned off the TV sometime during the night. Then I woke up around 6:30 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. What I should have done was get up that instant, get breakfast, and get my ass into NYC. But no I really WANTED to sleep more, so I tried (and failed). Once I got up I saw this white piece of paper inside my door. It was a $25 charge for the phone call!!! The reason I was good at my tech support job is that I get what I want (usually, anyway). And I can totally be a chameleon in order to accomplish this. For instance with the Continental service rep yesterday I was bold and confident, laughing about the situation and grinning, "C'mon, you can save me being a Continental customer with this." But with the taciturn front desk guy this morning I made sure to use my most Southern Ohio accent, baby doll voice, and innocent "The airline put me up and I was just calling my family to let them know what was going on and the front desk employee last night and I had a complete misunderstanding. Oh please help me." He didn't say a word, frowned a bit, but crumpled up the phone bill and waved me off. By the time I had truly awful breakfast food (which my voucher didn't even cover the full amount bleh) and checked out it was around 9:30/10am. I knew theoretically I COULD have made it to the city for an hour, and part of me really really really really (get it?) wanted to...but I knew if anything went wrong I'd be cutting it too close. And yet still, after wandering around the airport for a half hour, I went to the service desk and tried to change to the next flight out this evening so I could go into NYC for a bit. Because seriously just to look up into the buildings and see all the people would have made me cry with joy. But the lady was NOT pleased about my request. She said to change the flight would be $25. That, on top of the freezing weather to walk in, and the either $28 dollar train or the really cheap but complicated Bus/train transfer, convinced me to just walk around the airport some more, find this internet phone, and write about my adventures. (Still expensive but at least doesn't possibly make me miss my flight or make me cold). So here I am, probably wasting the same amount of money, at least for the train into NYC, writing this. *Laugh* Oh well, it's something to do and I did want to make sure and post my adventures. But hopefully no more adventures from this point on. And now it's been almost an hour writing this and I need to pee anyway. And wow, if we can swing the money, before I travel again I am SO getting a cell phone. ;) | ||
| Jan. 19th, 2007 @ 01:33 pm at CLE | |||
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| This internet kiosk has a terrible keyboard. I have 20 minutes of internet time and I've alreay used up 1.5 minutes trying to log in. Why do I post when I haven't for weeks, perhaps months? Because when you're an atheist and your boredom lands you in the airport chapel, you know you just have to waste 5 dollars to do something else. T, I'd so be calling you but I only have your home number and I don't have a cell anyway. I've already discovered the 50 cents at the payphone only gives me 2 minutes. Which my husband couldn't even talk to me for because he was in a meeting. Hmmm. Lessee the story is that when there's lots of fog and snow around Cleveland it's faster to drive. The conecting flight to Baltimore got missed. It's now about to be faster to drive to Baltimore. When an airplane can't land and needs fuel, it will backtrack 120 miles. Gonna go see Amy and see her all pregnant :) Not sure what book to invest in and not sure I need to. Walked through the whole airport and didn't use all of Bekah's Nintendo DS charge (Final Fantasy III is awesome!!!) so I expect I can do that on the plane. Was almost going to buy Wizards and Glass but realized I couldn't remember 90% of the storyline from Dark Tower 1-3 so .... Getting fed and tipsy at an airport is damned, damned expensive. Sorry Bob. Hmmm what else. Maybe I should LJ again but all my computer time (and lots of it) is spent playing Kingdom of Loathing. (www.kingdomofloathing.com in case you'd like to be addicted to a free game too). But I might be able to report in a couple days why I won't have time to be addicted to a silly game. I love airports. Hustle Bustle, all sorts of people, shiny lights. Life is good by the way. Did I mention this keyboard REALLY sucks? Even worse than a laptop keyboard. There's a port to hook up your laptop but of course I don't have one. This is the most expensive LJ entry ever...unless someone else has been crazy enough to throw $5 for 20 minutes into one of these things simply to post. OK I'm done then. Maybe this means I'm back to posting on LJ. Maybe not. But whatever,if you're reading this I give you a hug. I'm going to use my remaining 6 minutes to use AIM online to say hi to Jeff (if he's not busy). | ||
| Dec. 5th, 2006 @ 11:06 pm funny and gross | |||
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| Alyssa was going to stay home from daycare this morning. She had been diagnosed with STILL having an ear infection. So I woke up with this huge migraine and really tired still from my ambien. I had Alyssa playing around me with her plastic blocks and cheerios. I was half asleep when Alyssa stuck her finger in my mouth and said, "Mommy eat my Kleenex!" I instinctively put in my mouth her finger, and realized that I was eating a booger. "Ewwwwwww! That is called snot and we do not give other people our snot." | ||
| Nov. 21st, 2006 @ 02:42 pm War | |||
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| Well said. (from a very strange source) | ||
| Oct. 19th, 2006 @ 11:29 am volunteering at polls | |||
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| note to self: wear Issue 11 T-shirt over any warm clothes needed that day. Talawanda HS poll station 10:30-12:30pm and 6-7:30pm | ||
| Oct. 17th, 2006 @ 11:34 am "long-awaited" update | |||
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| I've been doing completely better moodwise. My new drug, lamictal, took effect. Now I have a couple of new "issues" which don't actually relate to the brain chemical problems of bipolar disorder. I have been unmotivated to get out of bed until late into the morning (anywhere from 9:30 to 10:30 most days), though I do get out of bed around 6:30 or 7 to help get the baby ready for daycare. My entire world revolves around the TV that I watch and getting just enough done for my family and the house to keep it going (kitchen clean, dinners, laundry, some straightening up). I don't feel like putting forth the effort into finding a job when I don't know that I can handle it anyway. Yes, I used to work, single-parent, take my kids to hours and hours of activities and lessons, but my personal and working life were full of anger and turmoil. Now my life is generally happy and the only time I am angry is when my preteens act bratty or I become manic somehow. Static. The second issue is somewhat related. I no longer care to deal with other human beings that are not my family. There are three exceptions to that rule, but I have not been keeping up with those folks as much as is decent either. There seems, from taking my history with friends of all sorts into account, to be no point in being a part of greater society. I have always just wanted that girlfriend to bake holiday cookies with, check out a thrift shop, do crafts together, talk about my day. And the few times I've found that or something similar (like online), it's generally gone wrong. And it happened now twice in the past couple of years and I feel really done trying anymore. These past two relationships were quite obviously not "my fault" in ending, but the result is what matters not whose fault it was. I haven't posted in a long time. I know many people, such as my family, do not read in order to find out about my internal misworkings. The girls have been doing rather well in school, particularly Rebekah. Both girls are getting involved with something called "Power of the Pen" which sounds like a competition based writing activity. Rebekah might be doing Destination Imagination again this year if the team gets itself organized. They no longer do Girl Scouts. Rebekah decided a couple of weeks ago that she didn't want to do it, and Rachel's troop kind of fell apart this summer. Rachel started Cross Country, a bit late into the season, but kept up with the girls who had been training for longer quite well. She can run better than me at this point! Alyssa is very verbal, and she's really gotten better at the gross motor skills as well. She's able to run around without falling (much). She sings along with us, she sometimes shows she can count without our prompting to at least 5, and with our help she gets to 20. It's very easy to understand what she's asking for most of the time, though particularly after I pick her up from daycare she regresses into whines and cries. She rocks with me every night before bed for at least 20 minutes, sometimes as much as 40. We talk and sing songs and listen to her Baby Einstein music. We always need to have a cup of milk or cold water, her "super-soft blanky", and then I tuck her into her toddler bed with that blanky and two others that have to be two PARTICULAR others. | ||
| Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:44 am support group | |||
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| There's a support group meeting tonight. The past couple weeks I've felt like giving up on it, but I know this isn't the right time to make a decision about that because of the way I've been feeling. Very usually, Betsie and I meet in the room I've scheduled at the library and talk for a half hour or an hour and then we go back to our homes. We had someone show up a couple times a month ago. but she wasn't at the last one. We had one person assume for some reason that we weren't having meetings anymore because I stopped emailing or calling that there was a meeting after the first couple of times (I had said in the second meeting that I wasn't going to do that, that we had regularly scheduled times). I sometimes get calls about the group, but then those people do not show up. I don't blame them, as I know how hard it is with a mental illness to leave the house and go do something like this. It's frustrating though, as I thought I was doing something that could benefit people who would often feel like they weren't understood by most of the people around them. It's a big effort often for me as well to go, but I do it. Just to feel disappointed. | ||
| Sep. 4th, 2006 @ 09:21 pm and so it goes | |||
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| I've been depressed. I've felt boring, been boring, and mostly just tried to get through every day. I finally called my psychiatrist (after what is about a month and a half of at least being exhausted tired, but I didn't realize was worsening depression until a couple weeks ago--it's weird how that can work) and she had me start taking an antidepressant called Lexapro. We'll see. Today was better than it has been, and I even cleaned a little bit around the house, mowed the yard, and played with Alyssa. If you are someone reading this who I am social with, sorry I haven't been talking to anyone at all for awhile. I hope we're still friends when this clears up (which thankfully, I know it will SOMETIME!!) On that note, I'm finally weaning the baby. Antidepressants aren't ideal. My psychiatrist won't have me on a drug that would very likely help (lamictal) until I'm no longer nursing. So the plan is that by Friday or Saturday I will no longer be nursing even at night. On Wednesday I went to the interview for the Butler County Mental Health Board. When asked why I wanted to be on the board (as all the applicants were--it was an open interview/informational session), I went into my bipolar a bit more than I intended, and actually SAID I was nervous. Argh. But it went over well, even if I didn't say what I initially intended. It was kind of weird actually. I felt a bit like I was the thing all these people watching me were there to help, like an object of some sort. One person who was applying said, "You're doing so well!" as I got into my car to drive home. Um, well, yeah, I guess, if suffering from exhaustion and apathy, feeling entirely unprofessional, and forcing myself to even COME to the interview is doing so well, suuuuuuuuuuuure. Not to mention I had just finished The Fountainhead the night before. Hahaha working for the social welfare of the downtrodden indeed. (But actually, this is a local county board working for those who are mentally ill right where I live, so perhaps not exactly objectivist in spirit, but oh so libertarian :) ). Friday I came home from a therapy appointment to get the message that I did GET on the board. The first meeting they would like me to come to is this month, though I may not get the official appointment letter until afterward. I can't think there is anything wrong with me talking about this...it's a public entity and the meetings are recorded and stuff. My hope is that my perspective will help with the policy making of the board, especially in regards to how the limited resources the county gets to do the most good. I already have some thoughts based on my own experiences but I don't think some of it will be popular, so I'll be sure to think really hard before opening my mouth. My parents had bought tickets to Cirque du Soleil: Quidam for Friday, and we were all supposed to go. But on getting the baby from daycare, I realized she was sick. She was acting very tired and cranky, her nose was running, and she seemed like she was in pain. So last minute (mostly because I actually wanted to go) Bob decided to stay home with Alyssa. I quickly called my friend Virge, who I knew would be the most likely to be free AND appreciate it, and invited her along. The performance was great! The only thing was the seating was really uncomfortable and the performance was long long long so by the end I was glad it was done. My icon is the Quidam character from the show. I think that all catches me up! I love you, Bob, you're the best. | ||
| Sep. 4th, 2006 @ 08:43 pm books I've read | |||
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| Since my last update I've finished 3 books: First up was Anansi Boys  by Neil Gaiman. I have so far liked everything I've read of his, though best is still Sandman in my mind. This book went uberfast, and I thought it was very cute. It was meant to be a modern day folk tale and succeeded at this.Then I finally made my husband very happy. I read The Fountainhead  by Ayn Rand. He'd been wanting me to read something by Rand forever and ever (though I was NOT one of his free book recipients back when we knew each other prior to living together, I should point out :P). I was able to finish the book, I didn't turn into an asshole, and I wasn't blown away with the prose. But it did confirm my suspicion that I lean toward objectivism. I had a lot of trouble getting through (and sometimes stopped bothering to try) some of the speechy dialogue. I also had trouble with the "romantic" nature of the characters, in that they were very unidimensional in order to make all these philosophical points. But when people acted like normal human beings and there was a plot it was just fine. I was actually carried away emotionally by two parts in the book: disgust at a rape which I must be awfully 21st century or something because I saw no point and thought it really detracted from the heroic nature of the main character, and pity for a character who had no self-worth who finally in midlife decided to try and follow his youthful dream of being a painter, but his work turned out to be no good.A couple days ago I finished reading a Jonathan Kellerman: Flesh and Blood  and I wasn't so impressed. I've read quite a few of the Alex Delaware novels, and they are formulaic but generally written well enough with some creative details. This one was still written with some interesting turns of phrase, but wasn't creative. The high point for me was that I had recently watched a biography of Hugh Hefner on E! or A&E or one of those, and so I was able to recognize one of the characters in the book as being based on him.I'm thinking Time Enough for Love, Siddhartha, or ...? next. But I've really got to ration my reading time more realistically as I've read when I really should be doing other things. | ||
| Aug. 23rd, 2006 @ 08:00 pm vacation photos: part Little Point Sable | |||
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|  (my cheap digital camera can suck at times :) much better photos exist ALL OVER THE PLACE!) The first day we went to the beach (our first full day in Michigan), I learned from my mom that the Little Point Sable lighthouse was finally open to go in. (That link is SO informative, but must correct that the lighthouse is technically in MEARS, Michigan, within Silver Lake Park, and NOT in Pentwater. Also, although I'm sure Little Point Sable and Little Sable Point are both correct -- the second being the official coast guard name -- the first is what everyone that lives there calls it). Bob, Alyssa, and I took our $4 ($2 a person) and walked up the beach to the lighthouse...only to find out that people under 3 feet who did not walk were not allowed. I cared more than Bob about the whole matter, so camera in hand I entered the lighthouse. ( more lighthousey photos ) | ||
| Aug. 23rd, 2006 @ 07:40 pm finding inspiration and changes | |||
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| The most randomly kind person I know: jj212. I know many kind people, but not often do I receive pleasing gifts in the mail :) Thank you!! I am sure to be as inspired by it as you intended. I'm excited to start on some arts/crafts projects again as my energy picks up. (On that note, I also want to thank apeystar for her recent sending of a monkey card to me! The wall consists only of your cards, M'dear :) )I finished Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell  today. I really loved this book. As I reported before, when I was on vacation in Michigan and started reading it, it started so slowly for me. The first 100 pages were torturous because nothing much happened, it was hard at first to get used to the language, and the main character was completely unlikeable. However, it started to look up when someone is brought back from the dead and a nefarious bargain is made, and the second main character is introduced. By the time I was through 400 pages, I was at that lovely situation for a book where it was torture to NOT read. And the language started to be like an old friend. Some of the descriptions are so wonderful and dead on that I was rereading them just to savor them. And yes, I could totally see why Neil Gaiman would lend his high recommendation to the book. I could hope there would be a sequel of sorts that followed the adventures of one of the characters I really liked (Childermass, for those who have read it), but it's not called for in the least.Rachel is ending up not quitting band. I can't believe the band instructor is letting her switch to percussion! He had been against it last March. Oh well, no lesson learned for Rachel, but I'm glad she'll be staying in band. I can't see her sticking with percussion anymore than any other instrument but.... I felt less tired today than I have in quite a while. I suspect my tegretol. I am weaning down, as of last night, and today I am better. In a few more days I won't be taking it at all. My shrink had been wanting that to happen, but hadn't specifically had me do that this particular month either. I hope I don't get some kind of talking to :P Another reason I've been of lower spirits has been my situation at home, namely with Alyssa. I'm not the most "Betty Crocker" sort of mom. In fact, I'm not at all. We're going to start slowly on daycare, the first day being Friday for two hours. And then next week all morning on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And then we'll see what comes after that. Ostensibly I'll also be seeking part-time (at least) employment. But that's a lot of changes at once. So first we'll see how the daycare goes for Alyssa (and myself). I'm sure it will be nothing but good for me. My next book is a toss-up: Jonathan Kellerman, Neil Gaimain, or Ayn Rand. Quite quite different. :P Maybe I'll roll dice. | ||
| Aug. 20th, 2006 @ 09:57 pm no title no cry | |||
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| Yesterday we tried to eat out at our favorite Indian restaurant, just the two of us plus Alyssa. Ha. She is now officially at an age where eating out is a big mistake. I watched with jealousy as a child probably only slightly older than Alyssa sat quietly in her high chair and watched her parents eat dinner. My kid wouldn't sit still in our laps (and from the start climbed out of the highchair, crying out loudly when first buckled in), and spent all of dinner running from my side of the booth to Bob's side. Until finally she just started yelling. We went hiking with the baby briefly before picking the girls up from their dad today. Bob carried her this time. She seems to like it half the time, and hate it half the time. She claims it hurts, but we can't figure out how it would. My kids got their school schedules. Rachel has two teachers that I had back when I was in junior high. She had my 6th grade homeroom teacher last year, and gym teacher, and this year (7th) she has my 7th grade science and 8th grade math teacher. But blah she's quitting band probably (if she isn't allowed to switch to percussion) so I have call the school and get the schedule changed around. I got a few more photos picked out and edited for another post, so maybe I can get that done tomorrow. Tonight I'm looking forward to watching Teh Shatner get roasted. | ||
| Aug. 19th, 2006 @ 12:17 pm vacation photos: part beach | |||
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| We took so many photos of our trip in Michigan this year, and since LJ is my scrapbook, there will be many of them (truly crappy photos not shown, and others tastefully cropped) posted. There are SO many, and it's so much work for me to get it in here, that I'm doing this in several posts over several days time, organized by activities. First we have the beach. We actually didn't go to the beach as much as we probably should have. Babies require so much stuff at the beach. Whereas the rest of us would have been fine with getting on our own sunscreen, help with the back of course, (or unhealthily baking), and carrying what implements for beach fun we needed ourself...the baby needed all of her sunscreen needs taken care of by us (and she was none too cooperative), and mountains of crap carried like snack, extra diapers etc. These photos are actually two days of beach worth. And I no longer know or care which day was which. They were much the same. It was absolutely beautiful both days, and the water was actually kind of warm.  ( michigan beach photos +11 ) | ||
| Aug. 17th, 2006 @ 09:20 pm coffee yum yum yum | |||
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| I read back 2-3 days worth. I'm totally exhausted and I miss my husband, so I guess I won't be posting the pics tonight, and tomorrow is really busy with things for all the children. I am an el jay failure. *shrugs* Not being crazy: big plus. Being exhausted all the time, probably from medications: big minus. Coffeemaker being brought home by husband: might be a lifesaver. | ||
| Aug. 17th, 2006 @ 05:09 pm (no subject) | |||
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| Hi y'all. I've actually been back since Sunday night, but I've been pretty tired and just doing baby and other family care type things. And reading my yummy book. I didn't like it at first much, and it took some forcing to get me through to around 150 pages. But then it perked up for me remarkably. My next few posts will be LJ cut because it will be way too many photos for not-family consumption :) I hope to get to those tonight! And I hope to at least read the last day or two of FL as well. But now, off to make dinner. | ||
| Aug. 3rd, 2006 @ 12:21 pm on my kids' piano teacher's wall | |||
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| "Trust that what you have to say needs to be said, and be authentic.” --Paul Williams, songwriter. But that applies to more than just writing songs, doesn't it? | ||
| Aug. 2nd, 2006 @ 11:07 pm This is not my beautiful post | |||
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| (That was a Talking Heads reference, somewhat). We'll be leaving Friday morning for our yearly Michigan trip (western shore, Silver Lake Sand Dune area). Tomorrow I have a few important tasks to get done for this, if the baby lets me. Then in the evening we're going to the music festival to see The Lonesome Strangers, barring rain. So if I'm totally not around, and then I'm gone for an incredibly long amount of time...that's what happened. Good stuff :) Nothing much exciting to report from the past few days. I got to soak in a "cool tub" (a hot tub filled with cool water) today during what was a beautiful day but so hot. It was nice to see the greenery and the blue skies and the puffy clouds without wanting to dash inside with the air conditioning. I had gotten over my cold so I went to run again this morning and found the rec closed, so was able to run an entire 1/2 mile in the heat before giving up. Lame! I finished up Angels and Demons, and I'm going to bring Digital Fortress and Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel with me. Wow. I'm a reader again! I hope to keep this up. | ||