| Tsunami~ |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|09:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Singapore Idol Replay | ] |
Do more than read or watch the news about death, pain and destruction from the devastating tsunami that killed more than 55,000 people in 10 countries from Malaysia to Somalia.
Singapore Polytechnic(SP) is rallying its staff and student populations to raise funds to help the tidal victims. The donations will go to Singapore Red Cross so that emergency supplies like medicine and basic necessities can be sent to the victims as soon as possible. Staff and students can send their donations to Ms Vicky Quek of Department of Student & Alumni Affairs.
Starting 29 December, from 6 to 9pm, members of the public may give their gifts of compassion at counters on the walkway towards SP, outside the Dover MRT station. Cheques should made payable to " Singapore Polytechnic" with "For Tidal Wave Victims" written behind it. Singapore Polytechnic would like to thank all who have given from their hearts.
Guys Im dead serious abt this...pun intended.
No jokes ok...this is something realli close at heart. DMC students proximity if u realise...Human interest as well...Prominance even...you guys get my idea aite?
Anyways this is a weak reach out i know but at least im trying my part...
What about you?!~ |
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| Inspirations |
[Dec. 28th, 2004|05:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
Must be the spirit of Xmas and all that has been happenin in current events tts makin me feel like this...how do i feel you may ask...this feelin sux...
Why, another question...
And here is your answer,
I've been an ingrate. I've been so frivolous and shallow, tinking that life goes on no matter what. To a certain extent is true but it will be the same again.
My dad was almost involved in the current tsunami flood thingie in Indonesia
Basically my dad could have died
But thank the gracious Lord that he's alive and well...kicking up a fuss whenever I'm late and whatsoever...
God has been merciful to me. Spared the love of my life from the clutches of death.
I'm not ready for this.
I'm not ready for such independence.
I mean i've always thought I'm realli a solo act. I can survive on my own. But with one thought of my parents leaving me realli freaks me out. I'm not prepared to face this world alone.
I can't do this.
I know I cannot.
I'm not strong enough.
What more I have others to care for...
LIfe is so fragile. One snap of the finger and it can be vanquished. God knows how I will go on... Life does go on.
But things will never EVER be the same again.
Trust me, this fear of loss is worse than the pain of being alone. At least you know what you're dealin with when it comes to loneliness but a fear of the unknown of a loss that could have been is uncomprehendable. It cannot be described with language, music, art, etc. This is the innermost part, the most intimate self that we desperately cover up. God knows who I realli am.
The bottom line of this blog entry is to super impose the fact that: "Hey no matter how cliche it is, treasure your loved ones. You dunoe when you may not have a chance to just call them by their names and hear their responses."
Things that we take for granted. I think it's high time we got to cherishing them. It's so easy to lose things that we care for. The more we care the more we put ourselves into it. The higher the chance of pain when the loss comes. I don't wanna regret never tellin my dad that i care...i could have lost him...I COULD HAVE. BUt thank god...god is good. He knows me best.
God has never forsaken me come to think of it. No matter how long I havent prayed. Whatever sinful acts that I've been indulging. No matter how I ignore him. Regardless of the fact that I don't talk to him or tell him that I love HIm, he has never left my side. Always in the shadows of my life, blessing me and protecting me. Thank god he forgives and forgets. Thank god for loving me when I'm dun deserve it. Thank god for the fact that I realise my mistake and now I wanna change.
I wanna change and be that somebody for everybody. I dun wanna miss a thing. I dun wanna miss saying goodbye. |
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[Dec. 15th, 2004|02:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  listless | ] |
I've been MIA for god knows how long...but i've been puttin alot of thought into this blog of mine...there's actually ALOT of things i want to tell this bloggie of mine but yes...i am famous for...
P
R
O
C
R
A
S
T
I
N
A
T
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N
G
n yes im just tryin to make my blod entry look longer n as tho i spend alot of time n effort into this journal entry of mine...haha oh well m acutally in class now for news writing n im not paying attention...ha oh well gotta go do some work now...brb real soon with REAL NEWS...haha oh boi...arghx!!!!! |
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[Nov. 27th, 2004|09:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Taufik's It's You That Matter | ] |
im in kl...if anyone wants to noe tt is...you wun b able to find me for 3days 2nites...lolx im bus-lagged...pple is jet lagged im bus lagged...have u ever riden a bus for 6hrs?!~butt cramp liao!
vote for taufik!!! i dun like bengs...taufik gogogo...
check out this webbie...love it...http://razlanmanjaji.blogspot.com/ dl the last song - its u tt matter...im in love in taufik...oh man tt voice is so smooth...singapore idol = taufiK!!!! you go dude!!!
sms n vote fo taufik man...we dun wanna have any kitties in the world idol...u get my pt dun u...haha check out da webbie for this damn farnie parody of the prepubesent girlie's dream of the sly kitty poo...ha |
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[Nov. 24th, 2004|09:45 pm] |
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OK that's it...I'm sick of repeating myself to people... this is to all the nosy parkers out there who desperately wanna noe how i fared in the exams but have no guts to ask me and have to go through a tonne of other pple to get to me... I'll just lay it all out for ya'all to see... GD?!~ FINE?!~ sheesh...gee
Character Developement = C plus [i presume i have lousy character...hmmmm i tink tt inculdes like several of my other friends in class...u noe who u are...ha!welcome to da club~]
Fundamentals of Marketing = C plus [i tink tts higher than average rite?cos seetoh said average is C which is 60...hhha take tt teetoh!u tuttering tutor!oh boi...]
Introduction to Communication Principles = B plus [tt suked royally!]
Desktop Publishing = B plus [ditto above...double doses of horsespit!hellish...i tink i must have screwed up CK's racer book cover...haha this is bad!Ck dun read this alrite...i dun tink u have the addy to this...lol gd!]
Information Technology for Business = A [no i din get a distinction...n im not the blardy pet of will tan...stop assuming...its just an A...get over it!]
Creative Communication = A [was hoping for more tho~ guess not!]
Oral Communication = DISTINCTION
I think I've said enough...
recap! A A B+ B+ C+ C+ DISTINCTION...
Have I satisfied your curiousity yet? |
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| Update |
[Nov. 24th, 2004|09:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | no mood at all | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Stefanie Sun Yan Zi's New Album | ] |
It's been awhile...
Awhile since I seriously blogged...seriously as in with a sane rational mind void of raging emotions...which more often than not sets my flying fingers and thoughts on a wild ruse...perhaps I should really consider not blogging at all for sometime...away from this safe little haven where problems seemingly cannot touch me...this is my solace ground where I can feel how I feel...n let the whole world know that I don't care about what they have to say about me or to me...its quite sad isn't it?!~
I mean sad as in I don't understand why can't I come face to face with my problems must I run and hide, squirm and duck, jump and skip all the while I'm alive? Problems come round the bend like a speeding bullet, faster than u can ever make out. Before you know it, it's probably blown up all over your face, out of proportion. That's how I've been feeling these days, short of breath, tight about the chest, hyperventilating, eyes wide shut, blank xpressions, non committed blabberings... It's getting ridiculous. I mean me. But most of all I mean my current fix, the present situation, all the mess n trouble that I have clear... It's like a never ending cycle that I'm tired of. Ironically I have pple callin me up in the dead of the night telling me how life sux for them, how lost they feel, how bad things are going agt their way, how fragile relationships and life is to them...N guess what? They expect to hear an answer, advice, consolations, things like that. Who am I to give them all that when I can't solve my own puzzles? But ya noe the strangest thing, I find myself talking to those lost upset depressed beings, telling them to be rational. I hear myself consoling them, I even hear sound advice and logic sprouting in my deranged self. How can this be? It's like 2 persons sharing one body. One tired body.
It's unreal but it's true, those pple are my witnesses. That's it...I have a split personality disorder! Oh gee...Me thinks I've been reading too much of Sidney Shieldon...
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[Nov. 24th, 2004|11:49 am] |
Q1: do u have screwball parents
Q2: do u know of screwball fucked up authority figures in your life
Q3: do u know how fucked up i feel
A1: No
A2: Noo
A3: NOOO
screw!~ farked up shithead...y do i feel such immense hate inside of me tt i can't relinquish...wad's worse...i don't wanna let go of this hate...me tinks it will grow...n the worse of the worse is tt i wanna nurture this black hole of hate...nurse it with my tears, frowns and sharp words...i dun give half a bloody hoot...forget it...no pt telling u...horsespit!!! gee this sux!
@@#$#$*&*!^&!@&%%#@^%^#@(&!@*&*$^#%^!%^@%~^%!^%^~%@^!#&@)#^&@^#*&@^#&*@%#^!%@$%~$@%~$!*^%~&@^(*!#&^@%$^#%$^#%(!^~*&!~)&*!)~!~*(_!(*~_!+~(@)*!@ <<<< that was a whole chain of vulgarities...tt i dunoe but wanna noe so i can cuss out loud like now...arghx!
dun bother abt me...i will survive...just get lost ya?!~ |
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| I can't think of any words worse than fuck...tell me if you know of one |
[Nov. 15th, 2004|12:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hateful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | some heavy metal rock screamings | ] |
I don't wanna cry anymore...I don't wanna try to even be the person they want me to be...I don't wanna live no more...I don't wanna care about their feelings anymore...I don't wanna give half a fuck to what they think or do...I don't...I don't wanna...I...I DON'T WANNA GIVE A HECK AT ALL! SCREW YOU ALL...GO AWAY FROM MY LIFE...I DON't NEED YOU!GET LOST!
I wash my hands off my parents...
Tell me where God is whenever I need him...
Fuck
I don't give a shit no more...
NO DON't YOU DARE COMMENT ME I DON't GIVE A HECK TO WHAT YOU FEEL OR THINK ABOUT THIS STUPID SHIT...I CAN TRUST NO ONE AT ALL...SCREW THE BLOODY FUCKED UP WORLD I LIVE IN...I don't give a hoot to whatever shit...you guys can die for all i care...
WHERE THE HELL IS GOD...tell me where? Tell me where is HE when I need him...forget it...i can survive on my own...without anyone at all...you can just shut the fuck up and screw urself silly...
I had put up with enough shit...Don't think I don't dare to slap you back...it's bcos I still have an ounce of respect for you as my parent...don't think i don't dare to run away from home...don't think i don't dare to die...n leave you with a lifetime of regret the way you're treating me...don't think i don't have the guts to call the police...forget you can't think...u have not one bit of education not one bit of social skills...i forgot you're a bitch of a mom...n yes i hate you...all of you!
I'll remember this...I'll remember the pain...the tears...I'll remember the words...n not to worry I'll return them all to you...with interest...I owe it to you...n this hate will grow...I won't bloody forget cos I don't wanna b nice no more...
I will not be bullied anymore...I don't care anymore...I won't cry anymore...not for you not for anyone else...i hate you mom! |
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[Nov. 7th, 2004|11:11 pm] |
i noe i noe...i haven't blogged for damn long already...been realli busy..yea i noe its a lousy excuse...okok i confess i'm just plain lazy n yada yada tired yada...dun blame me man...work is tiring when u go back after some time...it's like readapting to my surroundings...it used to be with tonnes of books but now its like work, pple, money, customers, sales, smiling...the works...i seriously think the job of a salesperson is like wad the chinese call "MAI XIAO" no not dun b crazy...but mai xiao means something like a prostitute...why i say tt cos a salesperson's job is like...forever smiling forever giving in to the customer, forever doing everything they want...it's like sellin urself to them...tts y i said its like whoring...sounds sucky rite?oh well tts life nth's realli fair...im used to it already...i used to like doin sales...the satisfaction of beating the old birds in all the branches i go to makes me fell good...i mean i may not b as perfect in looks as them but i can convince pple to buy generously without any problem...it's like a very natural thing for me...to make pple do things agt their will...haha sounds realli bad rite?well i dun force them but they subconciously agree with whatever i introduce n suggest...it's like so amazing aint it?my most fun thing at work is beating the crap outta my seniors n supervisors in sales targets etc.i know its alittle thing but nonetheless it strokes my ego...haha my boss loves me...realli...gd pay gd incentives gd working conditions...haha oh well win some lose some...at least i'm not losing it all thank god!thank the blessed lord...i am such a lucky girlie...no its not luck...its grace...god's blessings...phew~
sometimes i look into the mirror n see this grosteque being...someone totally inperfect...how i wish i could become someone else...someone more beautful more attractive smarter more eloquent more likeable more of the gd things n less of the bad stuff...but tts how god made me...i can't help it can i?
God grant me the serenity to accept the things tt i can't change, the wisdom to change those tt i can & the peace to noe the difference...
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[Oct. 30th, 2004|12:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fish Leung - Chun Zhen | ] |
it's been a rough day...it's not nice to wait for pple for like 5hrs...i swear i've never waited for anyone this long...thank god i've got smth to distract myself with if not i tink i'll go berserk & stomp off within half an hr...haha i tink im becoming more understanding n patient to a certain xtent...i mean those are supposed to be virtues aren't they?gd 2cultivate them aite?i mean there's no harm or whatsoever tt i can tink off XCEPT mayb pple will actually start bossing me or pushing me ard or making me do things i dun wanna do, etc etc...i tink ya ged ma pt alreadi aite?
sigh...there's so much to do & so little time for everything...i just cant believe the fact tt its saturday officially now & im not having fun yet...worse I have to burn my wkends for the books.how sinful is tt man?n sunday i need to practice my music so hard tt it has to seem i've been banging my piano for almost 2hrs every other day of the past 2wks...tell me how in the world m i gonna do tt?sheesh there's more I have to fix my 12 LONG Chapters of Marketing by tonight & I'm onli done with 8...tell me wth m I gonna do now?i dunoe either...i havent checked my mail, my friendster my every other social acc for eons...if you mailed me & can't find me you know y now...haix its kinda depressing but i tink i've gotten used to it...life's liddat aint it?if you can't win it, join it rite?just tell me where to sign up & i'm ready 2go...
i'm actually quite awake i dunoe why tho i mean i slept late last nite..insomnia robbed my slp i wasn't studying hard enough i guess...i laid on my bed & rolled abt for 3hrs...slept at 3am...woke at 7.45am...it's been tiring...taxing & taking toil on me...the acne's gonna start up real soon & i'm gonna have a pimple plantation tell me what m i gonna harvest?scars?pock-marks?eww let's not go there...anyways im officially seriously very broke...those pple who owe me money like a certain K***N & C***C. will you guys kindly spare the dough...i shld get back approximately...what's 175 + 50? oh great my brain's not functioning anymore how m i gonne study at all?god...help me...sigh i tink i'm just gonna slp on it & 4get abt all the shyt until tml...arghx im agitated...dun tempt me 2rail you...go away~ leave me in peace...i can handle being alone... |
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| Exam Fever..Burning Midnight Oil Daily~ |
[Oct. 27th, 2004|10:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fish Leong Jing Ru - Ning Xia | ] |
One down...one last one to go...icp is over...da sem 1 exams part 1 is over...is tt gd or what?oh well fom's looming behind me...rounding the bend, fast and furious...w/o any intention of slowing down...isn't tt scary...i mean today's wednesday my exam is on monday...in abt 5 days...5 x 24 =?!~ basically i dun have alot of time to ace this crappy paper...arghx n my tutor has already said tt the average score is abt 60marks for the entire cohort taking marketing...60%!!!! OMG how gay is tt man?tell me how am i gonna get tt farking AD...its like sky high mountain tall...u get my pt dun u?gee oh well...gonna put in my best & tho i know i'll regret not pushing myself to the breakneak limits...im still gonna say i'm not gonna regret what's done is done i guess i can't change it anyways...no pt worrying or such...just put my everything into it all for all i care!god help me...i'm leaving it into your hands...guys pray for me...i need all the prayers, the help and the faith to pull me through
oh well a quick update abt my paper on tuesday...it wasn't tt tough but there were stuff i dinoe how to answer in the paper n the most streesful part was im sitting nxt to this realli conscientious girl in my class...you know who you are...i get realli freaked when i saw her write on and on and on and on as tho there was no tomorrow ya noe...its really pressurizing to see such things...kinda affected me abit...oh well i tink i did my personal best already but from past experiences my best is never enough for me to reach my targets...life's not fair isn't it...come to think about it...i always felt lousy when I receive my results...I know there's bound to be someone better than me...I guess I can't find fault in that...it's kinda ridiculous but tt's life...we aren't always in position to choose what we want to do...or how to do it...or even the end results of it...they always say we are from the land of the free...but we dun always have the choice to do whatever we want...sheesh no matter how hard i try...burn my nights...sacrifice my weekends...ban myself from my games n all my leisure stuff i still dun get what i want...isn't tt disappointing...u wun noe how i feel cos im different from you...yea dun bother...
i mean i've been working my butts off all my life to become this person my parents my friends my inner voice want me to be...i've never realli tot about who or waht i wanna b or do in my life...it seems as tho i'm living a life for others to b happi...i mean i dun mind if i can make others feel gd but i dun seem to have time for myself anymore...its like so farking sad...so farking tiring to be perfect or seem to be perfect...i'm not n i dun wanna b no more...i dun care what you pple think or what you pple want from me...i wun b ur puppet...cut those ropes away from me...i wanna b free...far away from all of all...get off my back...i need the space...to be alone...by myself...ALL ALONE DAMNIT...bugger off me NOW!fcuk...sigh~ |
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[Oct. 24th, 2004|08:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | listless | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Liang Jing Ru - Yan Wei Dei | ] |
My 1st paper is on tuesday...nine in the morning...it's in 2days time...tell me why ain't i panicking when i have barely skimmed through much...i realised today if u dun attend lecture too often u mite often miss out the crucial xplaining part...n worse of all even if you're in the same lecture hall with the lecturer n those slides n etc, if you dun LISTEN [i said listen not hear], if one doesn't pay attention you mite as well dun b there at all, waste space is one...steal other pples' oxygen is another but the last straw is you go disturb someone else beside you, infront of you, behind you...and everyone else who's trying to LISTEN...oh well tt person is me la...as xpected!
haha yea im such a louser in lectures...having the perpertual mind set that its alrite cos all the lecture slides are on the blackboard net thingie...n can b retrieved as n when i want them...tell me why am i such a cow...i mean i've been college & i'm not learning from experience tt even with the most complete notes but w/o any form of understanding or whatsoever it's useless...gee girl you need a BIG wake up call...mayb i gd ol' tight slap will do & mayb just mayb i'll emerge from my cocoon & become a butterfly...ooo i wanna b a swallow tailed butterfly... yan wei dei...chio~lolx arghx okok stop nagging im going to study soon...realli!i swear!
btw piracy is so underrated pple...its scary...realli its kinda freaky to realise almost everything on this earth can b copied & sold off at a price tt is so low & undeserving...ever wonder if mankind can b cloned & ur clone can b sold off at a ridiculously low price which kinda at the same time reflects how much you're worth to the real world...think about it pple...it's worth the time...heeX =.=" V |
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| Life is a Rat Race...even if you emerge out of it as a winner..you're still a rat! |
[Oct. 20th, 2004|08:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  rushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kimberly Locke - 8th World Wonder | ] |
check out my mood emo-icon...get da idea yet?i'm stressed rushed n pressed for time...exams in a wk & i havent hit the books...dun even mention touch da books to me ok?i get irate!arghx anger management pls...i'm beyond hope...sheesh anyhow 2smth serious...lolx read on
It's kinda ironical come to think about it...I mean all [mayb most would b a betta word 2use here] my sp 'friends' think I'm hell hardworking...they have the idea tt I'm some kinda hypocrite nerd liar bitch thingie... what do I mean?lemme xplain ma self...c xample below which i overheard...
'this christine arh...always like slack slack one...perpertually playing gunbound & other online games… bud then arh... like fake wan... i tink she lying... confirm all night chionging wan... i bet she slps with her books... she hor like chengkun liddat... on the surface damn lax but at home arh machiam chiong until like siao pattern wan... dunoe how she does it lor... buay tahan her this kind of pple... like two faced liddat! sibei horrigible leh... wah kao eh! fark her~'
c wad i mean yet?i dun tink im like that...i mean i realli do play alot of online games & my pc is my solace...the virtual world is where i live & m most comfortable with other than at home and with the few i realli call friends...in reality I'm like the kind who rushes work at the 11th hour & get realli ok grades for all kinds of rubbish I smoke up but seriously it gets realli tiring to live up to such xpectations...such daunting tasks tt they impress upon me...I'm just any other ordinary girl...just one who has more xperience in certain fields over others...I've been through things you mite not dream of...I did them, done that & no I've got no lousy t-shirt to give you as evidence...I'm just like any other girl in sch...mayb just a tad bit ambitious...some girl out there who dreams of making it big & being able to make the pple in my life happy...that's realli all I want...being able to provide for my family...take care of my friends...buy the things I desire...i dun ask for much...i just wanna b happi being in my own skin & not living in a shadow of other pple's perceptions & mindsets about me...
dun try to judge me...i'm not who i seem to b...you have no rite to think im whatsoever...i'm real...i have a life...n i'm just like you...ordinary 18 yr old girl who just wants to have fun...someone who doesn't give much of a heck abt work but has no choice but to follow up with what the world throws her...i'm struggling 2keep ma head above water level ok...ur not da onli one out there with a prob aite?!~
i can't help it if i happen to work well under stress...I can't help it if im competitive...I can't help it if im simply just betta than u...eat my dust... oh...n yes dun bother 2catch up...you wun...gee *evil maniacal laughter* I'm just fooling around k...let my ego inflate for a sec wun you?b nice ya?n i may just gibe u some face...lol JUST KIDDING la...dun get too serious with me...i have a weak heart...spare me!
p.s the bloody student affairs woman called me again...darn...now I've gotta go for the frigging audition for the crappy compere shyt...y do i get this idea tt i wun have the time for this shyt?but then again i was nominated bcos of ma 'presense' [quoted by 2teachs!] n anyhow i tink it'll look gd on my resume or cert or testi or smth...this had betta b worth it...arghx!
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[Oct. 19th, 2004|11:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Run Away by The Corrs | ] |
It feels like awhile since i properly updated this bloggie of mine...been realli bz...i know this is an overused & highly over-rated xcuse tt i shun b using at all but can't help it cha noe...projects are finally coming to an end & most of my 1st term results are out...as in the CA1s are kinda out already...din do badly din flunk or anything but i feel there's so much for improvement as in there seems to be so much to catch up to reach my AD grades aka distinctions which i strive to touch...isza , joan & i were just toking about top 5% of the cohort & what we were going to do after the diplomas...we automatically tot abt the universities local & overseas...it seems like the 1st choice for all of us...but top 5% of a hundred means one from each class or at the most 6 outta the hundred strong we have in DMC course which seems like an undauntable task for anyone of us...i mean it looks so farking impossible but yet we all know deep down its achieveable whether we wanna do it or not...I realli wonder if I have that calibre to reach tt nearly impossible dream so lofty tt i can't seem to see the edge of it at all...seems unreal huh...oh well tts life...no matter how cliche or predicted it is...I just have gotta give it ma best shot...it's not over until I win...yeap call me self centered but who doesn't tink about themselves 1st b4 others...i mean in such issues ur personal side just comes out strongly & unconciously...i wanna b able to make it...ace poly life get into NTU or Aussie Melbourne University or even betta London/States to just get an experience of life, culture & the pple far away from my comfort zone...to live a life unduanted & free from restrictions tt i'm bounded to at home...sounds like fun isn't it?life of a foriegn student...haha reminds me of vivi's speech today...the difficulties, the troubles, the set backs, the truimphs, the glorious new found freedom/responsibilty/world! I can't hardly wait...so watch out world...you wun know what hit you until it's over...I'm coming to win you over...the world will b my osyter...unlimited resources unlimited everything just for me to xplore...wun that b such an adventure...i long for this joyride to come ASAP so I can finally grow up & b on my own 2feet...what bliss it will be...HOPE? |
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[Oct. 17th, 2004|11:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pensive | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the fm radion | ] |
i have an itb excel quiz tml n i havent touched half a page of my notes...tell me why im so gonna die?lolx oh well i've been gunbounding...i noe its a ridiculous game but its smth to release my stress n meet pple who dun judge me...pple who genuinely just wanna play a game...pple who just wanna have some fun~ haha its kinda cute...dumb music...not half a bad animation...alot of pple ard my age...i met one 28 yrs old and another 40 years old...farnie pple rite? i found a funky chinese teacher in there too...teaching some secondary sch chinese...she goes clubbing...does all the funky stuff tt most chinses teacher i noe dun do...haha isnt it so coll oh n btw she's DAMN pro in the game...ruby wand...tts very high rank FYI...im onli a double silver battle axe...sheesh n her students come in the game to say hi to their teacher...its damn cute...haha oh well everyone has their own secret life away from the ropes of reality n life on the whole...she found it in her clubs n online games...cool
anyhow it's been sometime...the trauma's over for all those who know what it is...you guys are a dear to me...thx for being ard for me...anyways i've come to my senses the day i found out the truth...tts wad life is like isn't it?i'm so glad i have such great girlfriends...steffie, isza & many others...not to forget the boys...andrew, jonathan, chen, ben n many others i can't recall & dun wanna mention...haha you guys have been such a sweetie...u may not noe what u have done but i appreciate whatever i have in you guys...cos you were just there for me...so glad so touched...thank you pple...i'll b alrite...
to those who have hurt me...i've seen through ur true colors...dun bother abt the thick hide ur under...i dun need to c u all ever again cos i dun need to waste my time on the scum of the earth...u've been banished from my invite list now n forever more...i shan't relent...i will forgive but i wun forget...rembr the line: Hell hath seen no fury, Like a Woman scorned...trust me its a fact...cos i will rembr no matter how long the pain u've inflicted on me...the disgrace n all the hurt n humiliation...i will bear those close to my heart like a hefty lesson learnt n a huge price paid...well done~ |
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| Just Any Other Ordinary Day in School~ |
[Oct. 15th, 2004|07:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Huang Yi Da - Lan Tian (Blue Sky...BLUE azure...haha BLUE) | ] |
Hola Amigos!
I'm back!Lookie here...come on tag me...hey tts pathetic...no la haha =X lame! Anyhow just got gmail...as in google mail...has like abt ONE gigabyte of space for storage! can u believe tt...ONE FRIGGING GIGABYTE...yes tts a lot...ITB students u shld b able to calculate how much tt is rite?anyhow its kinda cool cos it's onli by invite...haha yes I got invited...so sue me har...no i dun wan u to be envious cos I HAVE SIX FRIGGIN INVITES TO WASTE ON OTHER PEOPLE! but seriously it has quite abit of functions n other than great storage space its fast n the search engine is pretty amazing...google is kinda cute as well...the color scheme is very happy...bright pastel colors...relaxing and at the same time rather fun-loving!no i'm not paid by google to advertise it just picking tots of the top of my head randomly...hee oh btw my new email is blissified at goggle mail dot com...yes bliss-i-fied!dun ask me why k i took damn long to finally settle down on a email title...no dun flood me i'll block u & u'll never get to see the streaks of daylight ever again! haha wanna flood me...send all da junk to my excite acc...me dun even open it so its kinda dormant!hee so no pt rite...all in all mail me only when necessary cos i dun open crappy mails...just delete it whoever u are...projects n personal mails are very welcome...the rest click urself to the trash can...n i'll empty u on regular basis...lolx deal with yaself like char says it...HA
Oh btw i went to Zara n got new tops...yay!can't wait for mango sales to come...zara sales would b nice too...n no i havent got THAT ADDIDAS DRESS I WANT!neither have i got THE ROXY JACKET...tell me when will those sales ever hit town again?I'm penniless broke n all tt but retail theraphy is a must have...haha girls will always be girls wun we?shopping is a relaxation an enjoyment a habit & most of all a time for u to xpress urself through what we wear...i dun care what others say abt my choices...cos guess what i wear them not u i pay for them not u im bringing them home NOT YOU....NOT YOU NOT YOU gedit yet?!~HA |
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| Have You Ever Slept 20hours Consecutively...I Have...HA! |
[Oct. 15th, 2004|09:03 am] |
Read my subject title before anything!
I'm so farking tired...I've been so tired for the entire month!Haven't slept properly ever since the project load came on...almost died of exhaustion!sheesh...crappy shyt!oh well 20hrs on wednesday n abt 12hours on thursday...can you imagine...yes I'm such a slob!yes i admit it...so dead la...anyways it's so taxing these days in school...if you still think poly students have all the fun & can slack our butts off...you are so bloody farking wrong!arghx...will post my projects here soon when I've got da time...in fact gotta fly for FOM lecture now...cya laters...haha if i got da time to post...now ending ITB!crap excel |
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[Oct. 12th, 2004|09:12 am] |
I woke up feeling so blue...how come the sky is so blue...how come my friend's name is blue...why are things ard me mostly blue in color...even the grass looks kinda blu-ish...i tink i'm hallucinating things...must b the migraine...it's killin me~
no blinking lights...i tink we've given up on this...so this is it isn't it?I can't b bothered anymore...I don't wanna care...so you don't care either...nth else matters anymore does it?I will not dance a waltz meant for two alone...but a solo dance is all i have left now isn't it?come to think of it...i tink we missed the 'right' time to sing the duet...how sad...smth almost supposed to be has just went up the smoke...poof like anything else fcuking more impt than this...haha yea priorities responsibilities commitments i know all of that...but y can't pple just b themselves...y this facade isn't it troublesome...wun ur lie b exposed one day?wun it hurt those who are closest to one's heart?sheesh...i'm such a romantic...ha
I think this is the end...the fullstop...the road block...where shall i go?turn & run back to you?or find the path nxt to me which hasn't left me b4?the easy way out or what?or shall I just take the jump n move forward without all of you...or perhaps I shan't move & get stuck in this beautiful reverie in my virtual personal world of my own...I just wanna be free...unclip my wings & let me fly...loosen those ropes of life & i shall run with the wind...just cut me off from all of you...mayb I'll soar~ |
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[Oct. 12th, 2004|12:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sounds of the night | ] |
Last I saw such a shy face
You destroyed a happy ending
Last I fell in love with such
I lost the leftovers of my broken heart
Last you took my hand
It felt like a million centuries ago
Last time I will love you
But now no more
Last, last connection with you
Shall now be cut
Last, last, last feeling I have for you
Will be banished to the end of the world
This is the last time I will be fooled...
The last time I will let you in my life.
One Last Time |
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[Oct. 11th, 2004|07:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Britney Spears - Boys (Top of the Pops) | ] |
Im so fucking tired...so tired I have no tears left...no wonder isn't it?this hurts more than anything else in the whole wide world...words aren't supposed to hurt me...I'm supposed to be immune to such things already arent I?!~
girl u need to wake up & forget...no pt dwelling in the past where there was only hurt pain & tears...
then tell me why aren't you pulling yaself outta this shyt hole tt u've dug...y can't you see things clearly...just what the fuck are you doing with your pathetic shameless selfish lame excuse of a life you call it...tell me what the hell is going on~
You swore for endless sunshine
Vowed forever beautiful skies
Those gentle lips kissed my face
The bambi eyes blinded my defenses
Once again I sucuumb to your familarity
And sink deep into this falsified truth
I believed you're for real now
Not a fragment of my long lost dreams
So tell me how can you lie with your heart
Why you convinced me you were here now
And that we could be refreshed & made anew
Because of your 'true' love for me
Must you bring me to my knees
To feel the hot tears at your feet
Will you give me a loving hand
Or will you walk away without a heck |
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shadowednbound's journal