>D

( A fit of complete insanity. )

Part of a painting I'm still working on. It's too big to scan completely, so I did my best. I'll take a full sized photo when I'm finished.




Ashura-papa. It's no secret who the kid get's his looks from. Lol. A pen sketch. I liked the expression.

I've started a fanart100 for tsubasa!Ashura and Yasha. Watch me never update. XD;;

Okay. So my day started out pretty well. I slept in until the phones started going off. I watched a little TV, and bummed around like a happy little sloth. Around 2pm, an hour before I was supposed to go to work for my grandma, I fished out my cellphone to see if there were any messages on it, because my grandma has a tendency of call me in the wee hours of the morning, so I don't sleep with it near me.

There are a zillion missed calls and voice-mails. Most of them are from my grandmother's other caregiver who showed up this morning and my grandma wasn't there. She was extremely frustrated, because no one was giving her information. One of the calls was from my grandma, telling me that she'd called 911 because she'd messed up with her sleeping pills and felt sick from severe insomnia (the story was weird, and I didn't quite get it). So they took her to the hospital,and they were mad that she'd called an ambulance for that. While there, she went numb and wet herself, so she was freaked out. The doctor gave herself a full exam, and said that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her, and sent her home.

As soon as she got to her apartment, with the caregiver there, she called 911 again (for no good goddam reason). Her caregiver was pissed and told the medics that she shouldn't be living on her own. So when she gets to the emergency room, I get called.

They're pissed because apparently its MY fault she isn't getting enough care. Her benefits only provide for 10 hours of assistance a day, and she knows the days that I come, and this was being worked out with her social worker. My parents spent a lot of time in the past trying to make the best arrangements for my grandma. The can't take her home, because there's not someone there all the time to make sure she's okay. We're busy people. We don't want her in a senior home, because that's a horrible way to have to live out your days. My parents provided for her to stay at a house-care facility. She didn't like it because she thought all the ladies there were mentally ill, and wanted to go home. She'd gone home on Saturday morning, so its been only 4 days. My parents refuse to help her anymore because they did what was best for her and she's been ungrateful to it.

So here I am, 18 years old, never having gone through anything like this before, and they want me to make the decision on where to take her. She can't go back to her house to live alone, and I can't take her home, so I had to convince her to go back to the house-care place. She wasn't to pleased, but too tired to put up much of a fight. On my own, it worked it out with the discharge planner, called the care-facility to make sure there was room, and drove her over there. I went back the apartment to get her some clothes and things. I'm pissed because I'm doing this myself.

And it may sound selfish, but I'm irritated beyond believe because I'm probably not getting paid for all the hours I've already put in. 20+ hours at $10.50/hour is nothing to stick your nose up at! And now that my grandma's in a 24 hour care facility, I'm out of a job. So yeah. I'm just irritated. It's the least of my problems I suppose, but its still annoying as all fuck.

Then about an hour ago, she calls me. She wants me to get my dad and a lawyer together RIGHT NOW, so she can sign all of her belongings over to me. It was actually kind of funny, because she's so confused. She's under the impression that she's going to die. She's fine. A little dramatic, but fine.

I'm going to rp and do some major art therapy to burn off the stress before I resume the job hunt tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Well, it seems like a decent week for me. I found a job and I signed up for my college courses (finally!). So it looks like just about everything is arranged, and I can finally take some time off without feeling guilty. My daddy brought me home some slim jims and has finally gotten off my back. XD (Except for the late-night AIM sessions, sorry kane-sama!)

The only damper on this potentially glorious time is all the smoke. I went to the library and the nail salon with my mom and sister, and it was like trying to drive in fog, except fog doesn't smell like a broken toaster. And its not usually 112 fucking degrees outside. I felt like I was trapped inside a camp-fire. For realz.

Other than that, I went on that clamp anon thing and filled out a couple people's requests, just to get my juices flowing. Also, two people wrote in to my request and they were absolutely awesome. I needed to return the favor. I know its supposed to anonymous, but I wanna share with you guys too XD; Keep in mind that these are things that people asked for, not that I would necessarily write under normal circumstances.

( X/1999-SubaruxKamui. Pre-Rainbow Bridge. Emotionally-heavy Kamui. Implied sex. )

And.

( RgVeda/TRC- Kujaku makes a TRC appearance. )

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

LOL. I'm a horrible person it would seem. >D

Lord all mighty, free at last.

:D I'm graduated, bitches.

Here's your irregular update from the land of the Smiley.

So you haven't heard from me in a long while. The last real post was me being emo to the max. Nowadays, I'm still an emo, but I try to keep this under wraps. But seeing as LJ is the place to unload all your dramatic, deep, emo blogging, I suppose anything goes.

School is fine. It is a lot better than last term, and I suppose I'm actually enjoying it. This is a good way to end highschool. I'm taking Art 1 (yeah, lol, I haven't taken an art class in HS yet), Film and Literature, AP English, and Health. So yes, my schedule is all nice and cushy. Art keeps me suprisingly busy. Film and Lit is made of WIN. It is quite possibly my favorite class. I have this whole new appreciation for film... It's crazy. And only in that class can you watch Psycho and Indiana Jones. AP English is rather boring...but hey, at least it's not hard. Health...is health. I'll put up with it.

Art and writing devour my life. I'm putting several pieces into the school fashion show which is on the 1st of May. I also have been doing HO concept designs, but I phail there. I want to write something. So blah. Can I has inspirashonz plz?

Omg, senior ball dress ftw. BD I'm excited.

Hey guys. How goes it?
I'm basically in a world of pain right now. I got my braces adjusted (rubber bands, chains, the works). And I have bitching cramps. Just ran out of ibuprofen. Fun.
Otherwise things are okay. My Thanksgiving was nice. I was in Mexico. lol. And I ate Brazilian food istead of the traditional turkey thing. I'm slightly more tan than I was before, but that's really not saying much.
Again, Calculus is giving me agony. My grade is raising, but once again, that's not saying much.
I've writen a lot. I added 2,000 words more to my NaNoWriMo thing, but I won't have it finished by the deadline. I'll finish it eventually. Picking up HO stuff again. That's nice.
That's it for now. I'm tired.
-Smiz

http://www.sierrasoccer.com/

Hells yeah, bitches. >:3 Third year in a row.

Hello again. I suppose I haven't updated in a while, and that's because the time I spend on the internet is getting shorter and shorter, the same as my patience. My outlook has become considerably gloomier, a sad effect of what I suppose is "senioritis". I first started developing this deteriorative disease in my sophomore year, spiking at the time I had Junior Honors English, and finally is beginning to consume me. Slowly it has dawned on me that the the time that I don't spend sleeping (however short and inadequate this may be), is spent in school and however hard I push myself, it doesn't bring me any happiness. What is the point of working so hard if I never make it to the point where it pays off? I'm going to ARC first anyway, so why am I still flipping out? My pride. My stupid effing pride and my fear of tarnishing my spotless GPA.
Spanish: Not so bad. I'm good at Spanish, but sadly I am not doing so well on my essays. It annoys the fuck out of me. I'm not failing, so that's good. I have a project due next week, before the term ends, but hopefully it shouldn't take up to much of my time.
Sociology: The class I need to pass in order to graduate. Now I know I'm going to pass. I have an A. I recently turned in an 100 point report, and according to my group, we are the only ones so far who have gotten an 100%. I stayed up and worked myself to the bone in order to get that piece of shit done on time, so thank god that my effort was not in vain. Now I'm hoping that my lazy-ass group doesn't wimp out on their half of the project, the media presentation. If they half-ass it, someone is getting shanked.
Advanced Placement Calculus: *keels over* This class has caused me to have the highest number of breakdowns that I've ever had because of a school class, including Jordan's class. Now, I must admit, Math is not my best subject. I have to work at it a little harder than say, English, but I usually get it in the end. Pre-Calculus was one of the first math classes I ever took that I ever really, truly understood every concept. I usually get Bs in my math classes. Right now, my unweighted grade in calculus is a C+, a 77%, and I want to fucking cry. I usually get the concept in theory, but I don't have the patience or attention span to finish the half page problems. I hate derivatives. I had Jeremy help me with the problems that I had on the last test, and hopefully that means I get it better. Iono. I just hope that on the next test (Tuesday) I'll get a grade that in combination with my homework score will boost me up to a B- so I can have a nice shiny A on my report card. I have a final for that class on Friday, and that is likely to kick my ass. I heard that we'll get points for our notes, and I hope so, because my notes are pretty much immaculate :3
Poetry: No problems here. I have like, an 102% in that class xD. I actually enjoy it a lot and I've started actually writing poetry again. In that class of course. I don't have the time of day otherwise.
In other news, I really miss my friends. I haven't gotten to see a lot of them in a long time. The ones at school hang out in different places so I hardly ever get to see more than one of them at one sitting. I spend most of my lunches in Mrs. Gibson's room, trying to figure out my Calc homework, and a good deal of my better friends hang out beneath the tree or in the art room. I feel rather isolated, but if I want to make it through this term, I'm going to have repeating this pattern. I also miss my friends who don't go to my school. I miss Kelly a lot because or schedules conflict and we may talk on the phone if we're lucky. Hopefully, we're still going to Second Saturday downtown this weekend. I really want to see you lovely >: I miss Mari too. We really need to do something.
I want to write, badly. But I have way to much stuff to do. I'm also affected my the complete lack of new material to read. I mean, I'm sure its out there, but how much of it is actually good? I don't want to read Stephenie Meyer or Meg Cabot, or any of those young-teen type things. I need something with a plot. The only things I've read lately are "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe" and "Life, the Universe, and Everything". Douglas Adams wins for being such a nerd, but really now...these books have been out forever, Douglas Adams is dead. :P I really want to get some of my ideas out there in the stream of books so I can say, "Hey look! I've contributed to culture!" Fat chance anything like that is happening soon, but I can dream. I just don't want to end up like that kid who wrote "Eragon" with his reputation ripped to shreds because he published his first book as a presumptuous 17 year old.
Now I'm just rambling. But actually, I think this is good for me.
I'm still reading Tsubasa, even though it really is a horrible manga. I have a feeling that now that they've actually gotten to an exciting point, they're going to start stuffing it with filler again. I heard that they're making 26 volumes (they're at 21 now I believe) and I'm not sure how they're planning to stretch what remains of the plot into that many chapters. On a similar, yet different note, I'm going to go club some Kuroxfai fangirls. Now, its not to say that I'm not one. I really do like their relationship, whether is be romantic, or just friendly. But everyone is freaking out because of chapter 167, saying that Kuroxfai has been canonized. I've read that chapter over and over. Maybe I'm just picky, or maybe I'm blind, but I don't see it. Is it the quote: "You wished for him to him to go with you from the bottom of your heart", or that Fai has started up the "Kuro-sama" nicknames again? I dunno. To me, all it proves is that Fai is an important person to Kurogane. For me, canon equals an actual confession of love or something similar. I have agree with Kelly when she says "Yeah, it proves he cares. I don't know if it mean's that he loves him, and even if it does, it's not canon yet. It would mean Fai is Kurogane's special someone, but Kurogane is not Fai's. And besides, CLAMP never admits to canonizing anything." So yeah, its not canon until the romantic feelings are reciprocated. I'd love for it to be canon, but considering that Tsubasa is run in a boy's manga magazine, I find the probability pretty low (even if CLAMP does have a lot of blatantly same sex pairings).
Changing subjects again, I want to drop second period physics next term and get an open period. I've heard that they won't let me and that they only do first or fourth period open. Supposedly they think that kids won't come back if they let them out for second or third. Now, that's fucking retarded. After lunch I'd have AP English and Econ/Health. Um...I actually need both of those classes to graduate. Of course I'd come back you ass-munches!! I'm not stupid. Now I'll have to find some class that allows me to do virtually nothing. I wonder if they have a study-hall type thing... I want to be able to do my homework second period so I could maybe get a job after school. *Sigh* I'd really rather not have to TA or take something dumb like ceramics for second.
So yeah, I'm pretty depressed. I have a a quarter of Calculus to get through before I'm out of that class. And Gibson can't teach. I didn't like Mr. McMcicken that much, but I wish he would have stayed, because at least he taught us things. Everything else is small compared to that.
Yeah, I sound all emo. I've been emo and have been listening to emo music and shit. (Not really, but nothing that would improve my mood). And its weird. I don't cuss in real life. Not much anyway...but my LJ entry is littered with cussing. XD I must be badass now. rofl.
Anyway,
Peace Out.
-Emily

PS. Please contact me by phone if you need to get ahold of me. I won't be on MSN or AIM for a while.

I am going insane...I don't think I can handle this baby. Maybe I would be able to if it was real, or it wasn't FUCKING BROKEN D: I mean, it was bad enough when it was functioning, taking two hours to coax back to sleep and only staying that way for an hour or so...but...omg... its BEEPING. I get it to be quiet for a moment, then it makes the needy crying sound. I pick it up, minding its head and making sure it's not on it's stomach, to insert the key and give it whatever it wants. It doesn't want the key. It goes quiet. Then, out of the blue...BEEP!!! It sounds like a computer that is melting down. I didn't tamper with the baby! I didn't injure or abuse it! What's going on? I'm not staying up all night for a baby that's going to tell the teacher that I constantly abused it.
So...yeah...major meltdown... what the hell am I supposed to do?

Hey guys. It's been a while. I've been really busy, school starting back up again and everything. Senior year is supposedly a piece of cake compared to your Junior year, but so far it doesn't seem so. My work load it pretty intense, due in most part to AP Calculus. I don't plan on doing anything requiring a boat-load of math, and I'm not even that good at it, so I don't even know why I'm bothering with that class. Pride, I suppose. Spanish is decent, and I generally understand everything I read. Sociology has potential, but I wish the teacher would stop being such a bleeding heart (even though, thats what sociologist are like, w/e) and stop talking about the oppression of the Indians I mean, "Native Americans", as well as shut up about her father and ex-husband. Poetry is lovely, and easy as all hell. I'm drawing a picture for "The Lady of Shallot".
The KuroxFai contest I held ended on the 31st of August. I have six people to distribute prizes to, but I'm both busy and lazy and haven't quite gotten around to working on them. Oopies. Sorry D: I'm terribly slow too, even if I manage to make myself work.
As far as social relations go, I'm still awkwardly friendless. I think that I'll ride out highschool and start building respectable relationships with more...mature individuals. I'm still happy with my gf and we try to get together as much as possbible. I've been getting back in touch with Brennyn and Heather, and sometimes I hang with Allyce (we played two-player We Love Katamari a week or so ago XD That was awesome.) Trevor's been getting better, and is more tolerable. However, it seems that more and more, the people that I hung out with as a freshmen have become so different, and are on completely different levels with different values.

MARI- Hun, I've messaged you a zillion times in the last two or three weeks, and none of them have been responded to. While I realize you must have much to do, unless I get some kind of responce, I am going to assume that you don't want to talk to me anymore, and I will, of course, stop trying. That or remember to change the STATUS on your MSN. Nothing personal. <3

In other news I need to finish Zelda. Between soccer and school I really haven't had much free time. I'm in the art club, the anime club (which is odd, because I don't like anime much anymore) and unfortunately, the GSA. The DC GSA makes me want to shoot babies in the face, I swear.
I'm not drawing as much as I used to. I'm still not pleased with my style, and it seems that nothing comes out...well. I've been writing a lot though, and I wish I had HO so I could put a good sized dent in it. I've got several other story ideas going tho, whilst I am waiting. :3 I'll post some of it soon.
There's probably more to say, but it is escaping me at the moment, so I'll add it later.
Anyway, here's hoping for a good, and very quick year.

-Emily

GRYFFINDOR:
[x] You've never done drugs.
[x] You have a lot of friends.
[x] You get along with everyone.
[x] You love soccer.
[] You love baseball.
[x] You're into writing and art
[] Favorite music genre is pop rock.
[] You believe in "innocent until proven guilty" theory.
[x] One of your favorite colors is red or gold.
[x] Good grades at school.
[] One of the worst things you can do is lie.
[x] You plan on going to college.

TOTAL: 8

HUFFLEPUFF:
[] You're content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[] You like to follow trends.
[x] Politics suck.
[] You love to swim
[] Water polo is awesome.
[x] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
[] Black is morbid & depressing.
[] Michael Jackson is talented as a musical artist.
[x] You're an optimist.
[x] You're very emotional.
[] You believe in going steady at a young age.
[] You haven't made fun of anyone this month.
[x] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.

TOTAL: 6

RAVENCLAW:
[x] You're depressed to a certain extent.
[x] You love to read.
[x] You appreciate theatre & arts.
[] Sports suck.
[x] Hate is completely unneeded.
[] Indie is your favorite genre of music.
[x] Every once in a while you have little anger outbursts.
[x] Lying is sometimes okay.
[x] Blue is one of your favorite colors.
[x] Knowledge is the key to power
[x] Sarcasm is the best kind of humor.
[x] People should know what they're talking about before they talk.

TOTAL: 10

SLYTHERIN:
[] There's at least one person you hate.
[] Basketball is a good sport.
[] Football is amazing.
[x] Black is a cool color.
[] You've lied about something serious
[x] You're a very deep person.
[x] You have considered suicide.
[] You are not very loyal.
[x] You like heavy metal.
[] They make school seem more important than it is.
[] You're scared to grow up.
[] You've done drugs in the past month.
[] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[x] You have trust issues.
[] Guilty until proven innocent.

TOTAL: 5

THE RESULT: Ravenclaw

Awesome. :D I'm with the studious people...

Here is a long winded emo vent. It's hidden behind a cut, even though no one reads my lj.
( GAHHHH )

1) Full name?
Emily Kathleen Williams


2) Male/Female?
Female XD

3) Were you named after anyone?
Mmhmm. "Kathleen" is ripped from my aunt.

4) Does your name mean anything?
Uh...I heard once that Emily comes from the same root as "alice" and other such words, but I don't particularly remember what it means. Something dumb.
Kathleen: derivived of Katherine, which is something from the bible, the book I don't read often XD
Williams: Hell if I know. It's probably from "Williamson" aka Son of William. There's another way to get Williams, but I'll avoid it for the sake of political correctness XD

5) Nickname(s)?
Em, Emmy, Smily, Smiz, Smizzle

6) What do you think you look like?
boring >: And a bit overweight.

7) Date of birth?
March 8
8) Place of birth and current location?
Born: San Diego, CA
Currently: Sac Town, CA ;3

9) Nationality?
White and whiter. German, French, and English (and some other minor country I can never remember). There's a little Native American on both sides, but not enough to make me look it.

10) Astrology sign?
Fishy :D

11) Chinese astrology zodiac sign?
The valient stallion! (jk)

12) Religion?
Uh...religion...? I follow the beliefs of Smileyism to a tee.

13) What's your favorite smell?
lemons @_@

14) Political Position?
Smile and nod. Say something about God and America and you can be president.

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Milk.

16) Hair + eye color?
Depends on the day. Most days they're hazel. Sometimes the're more gold or more green.

17) Do you look like anyone famous?
I feel sorry for the celebrity who shares my appearance. XD I don't think there is someone who does.

18) What do you look like?
5'4" 150lbs or so, at least I was before I started conditioning. I don't know now. Skin somewhere between tan and pale. Light brown hair. Not horribly fat, but definitely not skinny. I'm...very average.

9) Any unusual talents?
lol. not really. Sometimes I accidentally answer people's questions in spanish, because simple phrases are basically hotwired into my brain now XD I don't speak Spanish naturally. Not as much as a talent as a habit ^^;;

20) Righty, lefty, or ambidextrous?
Righty

21) Gay, straight, bi, or other?
mm. I'm sorta bi, but most of the time I strongly prefer one over the other. So...pansexual...I guess .__.

22) What do you do for a living?
Sit on my ass. I don't make a living yet.

23) What do you do for fun?
Draw, read, write, listen to music, chat with friends. I play soccer if I'm feeling too shut in XD

24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?
I really like watercolor pencils, but they unfortunately don't scan very well XD

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?
Copics look awesome. I'd actually like to paint more, but I need to get some canvas.

26) Have you met your grandparents?
Yup. I've met both grandparents on my mom's side, and my grandma on my dad's side.

27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
I have a wonderful girlfriend ^_^

28) Crush?
On my...girlfriend?

29) What celebrity would you date if you could?
hmm. Hugh Laurie XD jk JK! Ricky Ullman maybe.

30) Current worries?
Getting in shape. Getting a job. Seeing my friends >:

31) Favorite online guy/girl(s)?
mari_dono, darkfujin (on devi) XD really. No one I know uses lj.

32) Favorite place to be?
At home :3 or by the ocean.

33) Least favorite place to be?
Camping ><

34) Do you burn or tan?
depends on how much time I spend outside. If I spend an hour or so, I tan. Any longer and I burn to a crisp without sunblock XD

35) Ever break a bone?
Only sprained. They said I cracked my tailbone once, but I've fallen on it so many times I'm not even sure I have one anymore XD

36) What is your favorite cereal?
Lucky Charms baby.

37) Person you cry with?
I cry by myself...

Do you have...

38) Any sisters?
One.

39) Any brothers?
No, thank god.

40) Any pets?
A cat and a dog.

41) An illness?
borderline anemic, but not really. XD chronic laziness.

42) A pager?
Nope.

43) A personal phone line?
Nope.

44) A cell phone?
A lame one, but it does let me CALL people.

45) A visible birthmark?
mm. I don't think so. One in my inner thigh, but thats not USUALLY visible.


46) A pool or hot tub?
Neither.

47) A car?
Yus. Go station wagons .__.

48) Personality?
I hope so.

49) Driving?
Meh. I get my liscense in a month. Yesterday I drove on the freeway, downtown, in a parking garage, and in rush hour traffic. XD Not fun.

50) Your clothing style?
Meh. I throw stuff on. I love japanese street fashion (not that there's anything wrong with American street fashion, its just not as outrageous!). I like to layer stuff.

51) Room?
I spend a lot of time in there. That's where the books and bed are. XD But the computer is outside, so I have to leave.

52) What’s missing?
success? recognition?

53) School?
Del Campo. Gotta hang on for one more year.

54) Bed?
Up high! XD Blue fluffy covers and lotsa pillows.

55) Relationship with your parent(s)?
Pretty good. They both get on my case for being lazy and their old age causes them to be more finicky than ever, but its ok.

57) Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, loves, that called "infatuation".

58) Consider yourself a good listener?
Psh. Its all I ever do >_<

59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?
To write one of those amazing books. The ones that the teachers say "If I get another book report about this, I'll shoot you in the face."

60) Get along with your parents?
I guess...

61) Save your e-mail conversations?
Most of them.

62) Pray?
I haven't in a long time.

63) Believe in reincarnation?
Yes.

64) Brush your teeth twice a day?
At least.

65) Like to talk on the phone?
Not really.

66) Like to eat?
One of my few passions ;3

67) Like to exercise?
Eh...depends.

68) Like to watch sports?
I like to watch soccer on the spanish channel :D

69) Sing in the car?
often

70) What is a dream that you have all the time?
Mmm. I get dreams with similar themes sometimes, but most of mine are random. A reoccuring theme, is traveling through a castle that lies in the place overgrown with vegetation, obviously very old. I usually feel like...what am I doing here, and I usually run into something I'd rather not see. Like skeletons or this guy who...well, it looked like he was trying to summon the dead.

71) Dream in color?
I think so?

72) Do you have nightmares?
Yeah. Once a month or so.

73) Sleep with a stuffed Animal?
No, but I have them in my room.

74) What's right next to you?
keyboard, ipod, camera, scanner/printer, glass, mini-screwdriver.

75) What's on your favorite mug?
strawberries. no joke XD

76) What's on your mouse pad?
babies? .__. my mom works in the maternity ward at mercy.

77) Your favorite flavor of gum?
Some kinda berry-melon thing...

78) Your brand of deodorant?
Secret...I think...

79) Your dream honeymoon spot?
Meh...I don't even know.

80) Your dream husband/wife?
Dude...I'm 17... I actually don't know.

81) What's hiding in your closet?
Dead closet spirits :D

82) Under your bed?
my books and my beanbag chair. XD

83) The name of your closest/best friends?
Kelly, Allyce, Marissa, Brennyn, Heather.

84) Your bad time of the day?
The afternoon. I start getting tired again.

85) Your worst fear(s)?
Having no friends.

86) What's the weather like?
=_= toooooo hoooooot

87) Your favorite time of year?
Autumn

88) Your favorite holiday?
mmm. Easter's not bad. Get a week off, and you don't even have to give presents.

89) A material weakness?
Art and computers XD but I'm acutally pretty greedy by nature...>>

90) The weirdest food or drink that you like?
I put steak sauce on lots of things XD

92) The hardest thing about growing up?
Knowing that I may lose some of my best friends.

93) A pet peeve?
English. My English is far from perfect, but gah... I let it slide. Overly judgemental people who think that every aspect of a person is their choice ><

94) Your scariest moment?
leaning against my closet, and having it start shaking from the inside. T_T

95) Your attitude about love?
If you are able to stop loving someone, you never loved them in the first place.

96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex.
Opposite sex? I get more attention than I want...>P I once suprise kissed someone (even though I had been TELLING them I would for the last month or so). That...didn't turn out so well XD;;;

97) The worst feeling in the world?
Feeling like you've completely ruined a relationship over something juvenile and stupid, like you've embarassed yourself and the other person. Like you should walk away, but you can't bring yourself to move because your stuck thinking you should appologize or something, but nothing. That you might manage a pathetic "oh", and start crying at the most inoppotune moment because you don't want them to SEE, because it was them who was victimized, not you. Then having the other pity you... its unbearable.

98) The best feeling in the world?
Being told that you did something right.

99) Who sent this to you?
Mari...>__<

100) 5 people you tag:
anyone! XD I don't know ppl on lj.

Yeah...basically...life in general isn't all that appealing right now. Its my own fault I suppose. I stayed up late RPing with a friend. It was getting pretty good until we both decided about the same time: screw it, we're tired. So the end result is my exhaustion at the moment.
Aside from that, I had surgery on Friday. It could have been worse... at least they put me under. That was a weird experience O-o It was like I blinked and they were finished! XD I don't even remember falling asleep! The events that happened after that are fuzzy too. I think we rode home and I crashed on the relaxing chair. It was pretty late when I woke up again and there was a bag of frozen veggies next to me. (laugh) I'm not sure how that would help the swelling. The surgery was in my mouth! Now I'm basically restricted to liquids and anything with the consistency of pudding, which is basically driving me nuts, because its not filling at all. I also can't feel the roof of mouth, except for this weird dull ache due to the swelling. I'm afraid that I'm going to rip out the stitches and chains they put up there!
Well...I need to do the homework that I've been putting off all week >_

I've neglected fanfiction.net for a long while, and I thought I'd make up for it by starting a drabble collection based around CLAMP's Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. These are a couple of links with descriptions:

Chapter 1: Wish
Kurogane had already lost their game of cat and mouse, he just didn't know it yet. Kurofai-ish.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3465183/1/

Chapter 2: Sword Play
What can you do when you've spent your entire life fighting, but can't when you're dead? AshuraYasha
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3465183/2/

Chapter 3: Whim
Thoughts and magic don't mix. They made him regret even the most meager of his wishes. Fai-centric
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3465183/3/

Chapter 4: Perception
Fai's vision has been a bit off lately.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3465183/4/

I hope to be updating this pretty often :3

Hello, everyone. I suppose it has been a while since I have done any kind of updating for LJ. I have actually been busy. School and drama gets old really fast. Anyways...the last time I updated, I was probably still an obnoxious yaoi-fangirl. I don't know about the obnoxious bit, but the fangirlism has faded a bit. *shrug* After a little while, you begin you realize that its not as glamorous as it is made out to be. All relationships are beautiful, and no one has the right to say that a certain type is more so than another.
Also, I have moved away a bit from my japanophile ways. Not to say I hate Japan or anything, but its an annoying tendency of otakus to love Japan and Japan ONLY. I like japan, it has an interesting culture and produces a lot of cool things, but so does Italy and so does France.I also like the United States, where I LIVE. It gets a lot of smack, but I really would not rather live anywhere else.
So naturally this means that my obsession with Japan-related things has been calmed. I really don't have time (or money for that matter) to spend on anime anymore. Video-games are another thing that I can't do much of. I'll probably punch Nomura in the face if I see another Cloud Strife lookalike from Square. That being said, I do still have a couple of favorite things.
Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle: oh. my. goodness. I do love that series. I got into it when the manga was first being published by Del Rey (rather late, by otaku standards, but give me a break here!). I stopped buying it at volume 7, because if any of you recall, at that point, it was pretty boring. After dropping it for about a year, I started reading it again online, to find that it started getting interesting where Ashura from RG Veda made his appearance. The series looks like its about to end (knowing CLAMP) because there's been recent character death/ extreme drama. Not to mention that they've finally started revealing bits and pieces of Fai's past. This probably means we have only one volume left. Anyway. This is probably the only anime/manga that I watch closely.
As far as games go, I've sort of given up on Final Fantasy. I do like the ones that I've played, but I'm begin to notice that they can't be original anymore. Instead, I've started playing Legend of Zelda games again. I forgot how much they rock. I'm currently playing Twilight Princess in order to catch up.
On things not related to Japan, I follow the series "House MD" pretty closely and have convinced my friend to do so as well. I love how no matter what kind of medical ailment they might have, blood has to gush somewhere. XDD House's character is really interesting and infuriating at the same time. You wonder why they continue to let him practice medicine with his druggie tendencies, no matter how brilliant he is. Expect some kind of fanart in the future.
I also have been reading the "Twilight" series, by Stephenie Meyer. And to anyone who knows what I'm talking about, I know it reads like a cheesy shoujo manga, but its addictive as all hell. There's something weird going on when you can put down a book as think as Harry Potter in a couple of hours. I never really considered myself a vampire-lover before, but I think I've been convinced otherwise. The way Meyer describes them is so pretty, and well... Fai speaks enough for himself(is shot) Well, I've finished the first two books (and read the first chapter of "Midnight Sun" online) and am awaiting the release of Eclipse.
Lastly, I've been working on a collaborative work with my friend Marissa G. For once, its not something like fanfiction, but actually an original piece of work, "Hearts Oblivion" (the title is debatable at the moment). The first chapter is complete and is being threaded through the editing process. I still need lots of betas/editors to make suggestions before we attempt to make this book thing a reality. That's probably what is eating most of my time, but it is time well spent.
Hasta Manana loves,
Smiz.

No. No. No.
I will lend you my ears any time you like. You can cry. You can laugh. You can complain and make suicide threats, but I will always listen to you. You know this. You can't make me stop caring, no matter how many time the words you toss around tear me apart as a friend. What are you afraid of? That I'll -understand-? Because, in case you didn't notice, you are not the only human being. I try and give you the best advice, the most comfort I can offer.
But sometimes I think that you're not really listening.
So, please, listen to me if you are still able.
I know that life sucks. I know that other people can break our hearts, and in turn, we can break theirs. But whatever set our lives in motion, whatever accident or god, never intended for us to lay down and die. If you beleive in a higher power, there is a purpose. If you believe in science, there is Darwinsim. If you don't give a shit, toughen up. The world is cruel, yet it offers kindness. So please don't push it away. Please don't codemn yourself to a dark, broken world.
If nothing else, I am here. Small consolation, sure. But I'm here.

Yeah...its Monday, October the sixth. XP I'm basically dead to the world at the moment.
My weekend was pretty busy. Friday I went to get help from Mr. Jordan with my research paper, which wasn't exactly bad. I didn't have time to get to the Sac State library before it closed, so the day was basically out of the question for work on said project. Instead I went with my lovely to go see the Grudge two...lol. XD worst horror movie ever. I laughed most of the way through it. The old japanese man on the bus was -classic-. And that the blonde chick pissed herself... that pretty much made my day.
Saturday morning I got up much earlier than I ever do. I don't really know what time it was, only that it was early enough for me to be cranky. Anyway, I went to Sac State for about an hour before I had to go to my soccer tournament. We tied the first game 0/0 and shut the second team out 5/0 (anymore is considered unsportsman-like conduct, and points are subtracted. The tournament pretty much ate up my day, so I got home some time around eight.
The next day was basically a repeat. We won the tournament (for the second year in a row) and got home late after pizza. I basically hauled ass with the project I was supposed to be doing. I went to bed around 1 o'clock and got up around six to finish the works cited. And still, I must admit, it pretty much sucked. Lol. *slits wrists*
So...I forgot to eat breakfast and basically just shut-down for the entire day. I skipped History because I couldn't finish my essay...and yeah. Basically just really REALLY tired. And stressed. And basically emo...without the hair, shoes, or bad taste in music.
Anyway...I bought some more jeans and plan to submit some more art as soon as the work load cools down. I also just updates my very erronous fanfic:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2509018/1/ . Read if you don't value your sanity.