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Umm...yah.
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Feb. 26th, 2008 @ 07:33 pm
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I dunno. I suppose at some point in my life I would end up back here. That time just so happened to be now. Who knows if it will become habitual or not?
This should be my last semester of college. I am not quite sure if that is good or bad yet. I am graduating with a BA in Studio Art - Printmaking. For those who don't know, printmaking was traditionally a tradeskill and often related to bookmaking and letterpress, but it encompasses any processes that involve the transfer of an image from one matrix to another--my specific focus is screenprinting and digital processes. I will probably be going to grad school after next year, but I'm not sure where yet. I may try and see if ASU would admit me for grad school. I have only been in the printmaking program for one year, so it is not like I spent four years getting to know all the faculty. I would also like to do a little work with the Arts, Media and Engineering program at ASU. I know other grad schools have some intermedia and transmedia departments, but they still aren't quite that popular yet. I would rather attend a college where the program is established.
I am not fully sure if printmaking will have immediate benefits. I want to avoid getting trapped in jobs of commercial production, but initially they will probably be my only ticket to gaining more experience. I am highly satisfied with printmaking as my preferred medium of art at least. I keep trying to convert my art friends to printmaking. At the very least, I can make my own custom t-shirts (though that is not what I do in school nor have I actually printed myself one yet).
Work is boring. I currently work in a bookstore off campus--although I actually sell clothing. Luckily, I work with some nice people. But, I'll probably be leaving soon, hopefully for a good printmaking job.
I don't exactly have a social life. School has become utterly consuming. My friends and I are all horribly bad at keeping in touch--not quite as bad as I am at blogging/emailing apparently. Switching from dance to art a few years ago didn't help either as it got harder to stay in touch with my dance friends and I only made one friend in art, whom I never see outside of classes. I haven't even seriously played any MMOs in over a year--not that they constitute a social life, but I thoroughly enjoy them and at least they are some sort of outlet (even the government is getting into them in order to track down--read: spy on--online behaviors in MMOs as they relate to terrorist activites...).
I'm not sure if I am missing much of anything. College is supposed to be another one of those developmental "times of your life" that you look back on with nostalgia, but I just feel drained. I am tired of constantly going to work and then going to the studio to work on projects.
I do have a nice apartment, loaded with more little tech gadgets than humanly necessary. Procrastination is a dangerous form of self preservation, but it is the only way I find time to do the things I want. So, let's leave it at that before this gets too long. |
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Randomness-ever changing
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May. 13th, 2007 @ 08:41 pm
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For the lack of melodrama, I resign myself to asthmatic emotions,
questioning if the strongest souls effloresce in the weakest hearts.
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In non-cryptic news, I think I might try to work on a graphic novel in my spare time. It's something to do at least. I haven't quite settled on ideas, but I was thinking about something based on the Early Modern European witch craze, but in an anachronistic fashion, or something sorta autobiographical, like about a socially inept, overly idealistic dreamer who creates these alternate realities to deal with the real world issues he faces. Actually, either one is about me, but in a different way.
I'm trying not to lose myself . . . . It's hard not to feel lonely right now. I also know I'm one of the people who keeps everyone at arm's length. I think, however, that the kind of human relations I seek don't readily exist. |
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An Agenda in Stone?
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May. 11th, 2007 @ 07:45 pm
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I think I may have just finalized my schedule for next semester. It's busy and some may call me crazy, but I like it.
Monday:
Nothing~! Well, work, but no school.
Tuesday/Thurday:
07:40-10:30 ART 394-Digital Process for Printmaking
10:40-01:30 ART 253-Intro to Printmaking
01:40-04:30 ART 354-Screen Printing I
04:40-07:30 ARS 302-Art / Africa, Oceania & Americas
Wednesday:
08:30-02:00 Probably working
02:40-05:30 ARS 394-Art / India & S. Asia
Friday:
Just work.
Internet:
ABS 350-Applied Statistics
In other news, I applied to a web development/design job for shits and giggles and she emailed me back within hours, trying to set up an interview. Now I have to haul ass this weekend and make a portfolio of web graphics and HTML samples. I didn't expect to get such a rapid-fire response. It would be nice to get it. I don't know how the College Store would like that though. I'd obviously give my priority to the higher paying job and one of my main hiring points was management experience and open availability, lol.
I also put my notice in at CCR. I was going to keep it, but they put me on a new assignment and I made absolutely no money in three hours for two days in a row. Of course, when all is said and done, they will give me $6.75/hr if I didn't make anything, but with their hours I would have to leave the College Store early just to go make $6.75 anyway. It might be a good thing I did, especially if I get this web job. All three jobs could overlap for a week, which they probably won't be happy about. And if I quit CCR before my two weeks is up, they can lower my pay from $10/hr to $6.75 and I still have two payperiods worth of checks to receive--their payroll is offset by almost three weeks at times. It's taking a month to get my first paycheck because April 8th-23rd isn't paid out until May 8th. Shitty. Business is business, however, and I need to eat and pay rent. |
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What is happiness, self-worth?
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May. 9th, 2007 @ 10:43 pm
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I could never major in philosophy. I'd be driving myself more crazy.
Recently, it is hard to feel as though I have some kind of purpose in this world. But, really, how does one define personal worth? I have a job, I have a place to live, I have a stable relationship, I am almost done with my degree . . . should there be something else? I feel that school drives my life, whereas work can't. Going to school is a process and every day I go to school I am bettering myself as I approach my degree. Work, on the other hand, doesn't have the same feeling. I don't feel like I'm educating people, helping people or entertaining people--all things that I feel are some of the reasons for my existence. So, if I never accomplish these things, how then do I find fulfillment in life? Should I feel my existence has some significance in the grand scheme of things? What kind of mechanism does one employ to contend with this cognitive dissonance?
It's rather ironic that such a solitary person would feel compelled by philanthropic desires. Somehow I feel that I've been given talent, or I have attained the talent, and that I need to establish some sphere of influence so that I can educate and inspire people not to give up on themselves or their dreams. In art school, it's fairly common to hear that careers in art are unrealistic or that only about two students per graduating class will actually make it. Shit, I call myself cynical at times, but that is seriously unacceptable. First of all, if the curriculum tells you that you are going to fail, you probably aren't going to be as successful, whether it is realistic or not.
So, all in all, I'm probably too idealistic. I desire a fantasy world that doesn't exist . . . . I'm not sure that will ever stop me though. |
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Shame.
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Apr. 21st, 2007 @ 12:32 am
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Today is a day of shame. I have finally drunk so much that it has made me sick. I want to make sure that I remember this post to make sure that I remember.
EDIT: LoL, I forgot I posted this. Sometimes I'm a little too resourceful, even drunk. Why are weekend getaways always too short? I haven't even been home half an hour and I'm already stressed out.... |
| » Goodbye Fibers |
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So, I go through times of forgetting the LJ exists. This has been one of those times. My life has also been really busy. About a month ago, I came out of my "indulging in alternate realities" slump. I would pretty much do anything to not think about or consider real life. Now, I am largely the opposite and everything is real world and in my face.... So, he's what I wrote on myspace....
"So, I finally got an email back from my fibers prof. and she basically said substitutions and individualized instruction are only for advanced students and so I can't graduate on time. Basically, I'm switching out of fibers now. This is the second time I have come to her for help and she has turned me down both times. While I think her work is intriguing and it would be beneficial to learn from her, the general lack of concern for the community has been a major turn-off. So, it's off to printmaking, because it is one of the less sequential programs, but also one of the bigger and more versatile ones. Those familiar with printmaking might say it is just about the antithesis of myself, but after much thought I've been considering how I can use printed media to conduct audience interactions and create parallels between printing and choreographic processes. It also has plenty of other applications.
I'm looking for a new job. My current one sucks. I make $10/hour the first month, but I've been keeping track of how much I would make otherwise . . . today I made a whopping $3.33/hour. They advertised I would make $10-12 per hour, but revealed after I was hired that it was only for the first month, after that I have the potential to make that much based upon completed interviews I conduct. Well, it is fucking hard to get a complete, so--in other words--this job blows.
I need money . . . . I always have these ideas for performances, but typically they involve video and some kind of projection. But, it's extremely difficult to orchestrate the performance when you can only rehearse it with project once before you do it. Of course, projectors are not cheap. I also want more musical equipment and eventually a second keyboard. Damn you art, why are you so expensive?
There's an opportunity to possibly perform in the Trunk Space, doing performance art. I kinda want to do it, but I also don't know what to do. I used Flash animation to make my Laurie Anderson project and I'm kind of interested in exploring more of its potential. A lot of what I did, however, was based on interacting with the projection and . . . I don't have a projector to regularly utilize."
Apr. 18th, 2007 @ 11:50 pm
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| » The Pauls: Open for Business |
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So, I want to make some extra money to buy people Christmas gifts. Recently I've been doing a lot of crocheting and I figure it is worth a shot, so if anyone wants a hat or scarf or fingerless wristcovers, let me know. Average price is probably about $15, also depends if you want a lot of color changes or not. For hats, I can make beanies, berets, cabbies, and hippie hats. Scarves can be patterned with vertical or horizontal stripes, be holey or solid, have fringe, be made with ridges and things, etc. The wristcovers can have horizontal stripes and also be more like mesh.
I'm not sure that anyone will want anything, but I suppose it is worth trying. If I have to ship it to you, should be like $3 or $4. But, those of you around ASU, we can just meet somewhere and you can pick it up.
Dec. 10th, 2006 @ 05:17 pm
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| » Doomsayer: The end times are nigh!! |
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If you know what I am referencing, then you qualify as a nerd. Congratulations.
So, finals are knocking at my door and I have pretty much been oblivious to their presence as the Wii has been captivating me more than it should. I'm finishing up my Chuck Close assignment for color today and putting the finishing touches on my performance for 3D. I think both are not really turning out as I had wished. I'm afraid that I will get marked off for doing performance, because it seems like less work, even though I have been thinking about it constantly. I go to sleep and ponder how changing certain actions would affect their meaning.
I'm sorta mad that I had to order $40 in books for witchcraft class. I've gone all semester without using the books, but now for the final I need to pose an argument from two opposing views in one of the texts and cite another text as proof. I got an 80 on my last paper because I didn't do exactly what she wanted. We were supposed to use a secondary source to help contextualize our primary source. I wrote on how this document of tried witches seemed fabricated as it was reconstructed on common lore of witches' familiars--which is what my second source was on entirely--but it held many discrepancies from most of the lore of that area. But, apparently that wasn't right.
I've been trying to crochet some small things to sell for extra money, but it really hasn't been going so well. I've pondered selling my laptop because I rarely use it now that I've discovered it makes my wireless router kick off my PC. I've tried all configurations, but nothing permanently fixes it. I've looked around online and it seems to be a common problem with the brand I got. I've also pondered selling my keyboard, not because I don't like it, but because I want a slimmer, weighted keys model (which is like twice as expensive as mine). When I amass the $600+ later I can get that keyboard.
Speaking of keyboards, I think I might add a soundtrack to my performance. It can help set a mood and it is something else that I had to work on.
Nov. 27th, 2006 @ 02:46 pm
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| » Ohh . . . |
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I forgot to post here that Tim and I now own a Wii with Zelda: Twilight Princess and Tenkaichi 2!!
Nov. 22nd, 2006 @ 03:26 pm
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| » A Peak at My Newest 3D Project |
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( Images.... )
Uh-oh . . . what could this be all about? By the way, the hat is made from the bottom half of a pair of pants . . . .
Nov. 1st, 2006 @ 11:28 pm
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