seekingnevada

All that we can really be grateful for is that this is the last chapter of this drivel. I am in bold. With me, Jack and some guest sporkers: Irene the inflatable alligator, Monty the misogynistic carp, and Mysteria Destinia, the Jack-Sue postulated by rainydaymadness.

I'm not Mysteria Destinia!

Pardon?

I'm her long-lost adopted twin sister Prophesia, raised by Orcs and with a terrible wangsty past which makes me unable to trust men!

O-kay...

Oh, Jack, save me from my own breaking heart!

...

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" demands "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)
Chapter Six (Sporked by Hack and Victoria)
Chapter Seven (Sporked by Ariana and Siarl)
Chapter Eight (Sporked by Edmund and Victoria)
Chapter Nine (Sporked by Hack and Jack)
Chapter Ten (Sporked by Edmund and Siarl)
Chapter Eleven (Sporked by Ariana and Victoria)
Chapter Twelve (Sporked by Hack and Siarl)
Chapter Thirteen (Sporked by Ariana and Jack)
Chapter Fourteen (Sporked by Edmund and Hack)

Before Jack mutinies, it would probably be best to get going.

*sidling away from Prophesia*




Oh, Jack! Now we can be alone together!

*Starts running*

Erm... if I can get Jack back at some point he might continue sporking with me again. God, I'm glad that one's over and done with. I'm going to go and recover for a bit before returning... adios, amigos!

Found at the_norseman, quoted from kippurbird:

"These are the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing's users (as of today). As usual, bold what you have read, italicize those you started but couldn't finish, and strike through what you couldn't stand. Add an asterisk to those you've read more than once. Underline those on your to-read list."

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights*
The Silmarillion*
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice*
Jane Eyre*
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations*
American Gods
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha*
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian : a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault's Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein*
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula*
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray*
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D'Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver's Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
Dune*
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela's Ashes : A Memoir
The God of Small Things
A People's History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-Five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves*
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an Inquiry into Values
The Aeneid
Watership Down*
Gravity's Rainbow
The Hobbit*
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

Ladies and gentlemen, he's back. Jack (and Victoria) joining me for this latest spork, then. I am in bold. Those of you who value your sanity, turn back now.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" demands "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)
Chapter Six (Sporked by Hack and Victoria)
Chapter Seven (Sporked by Ariana and Siarl)
Chapter Eight (Sporked by Edmund and Victoria)
Chapter Nine (Sporked by Hack and Jack)
Chapter Ten (Sporked by Edmund and Siarl)
Chapter Eleven (Sporked by Ariana and Victoria)
Chapter Twelve (Sporked by Hack and Siarl)
Chapter Thirteen (Sporked by Ariana and Jack)
Chapter Fourteen (Sporked by Edmund and Hack)

So, how's Jack's ego going lately?

I haven't told him yet.

Told me what?

Never mind. Let's get sporking.




And with that, you can go! Jack will be returning for the last chapter as well.

What?!

Oh, your fan club demanded it.

... I have a fan club? Cool!

*headdesk*

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the latest meeting of the Jack Carter fan club. What, you mean this is supposed to be a spork? Whoops. Well then, Chapter Fourteen with Edmund and Hack. Yours truly in bold.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" demands "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)
Chapter Six (Sporked by Hack and Victoria)
Chapter Seven (Sporked by Ariana and Siarl)
Chapter Eight (Sporked by Edmund and Victoria)
Chapter Nine (Sporked by Hack and Jack)
Chapter Ten (Sporked by Edmund and Siarl)
Chapter Eleven (Sporked by Ariana and Victoria)
Chapter Twelve (Sporked by Hack and Siarl) [Whee! I got my characters muddled up last time! *headdesk*]
Chapter Thirteen (Sporked by Ariana and Jack)

Do we get bad sex to spork?

No.

Thank god.

Hey, how come Jackie-boy gets a fanclub?

Well, as of yet he hasn't been kicked out of a spork for bad behaviour, either.

Yeah, fair point.





Okay, we're getting there. With me for the penultimate chapter, Victoria and Jack. After that we have some special guest sporkers. See you there, folks!

The end is in sight! With me for this chapter: Jack and Ariana, hopefully more under control than my last pair of sporkers. I am in bold.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" demands "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)
Chapter Six (Sporked by Hack and Victoria)
Chapter Seven (Sporked by Ariana and Siarl)
Chapter Eight (Sporked by Edmund and Victoria)
Chapter Nine (Sporked by Hack and Jack)
Chapter Ten (Sporked by Edmund and Siarl)
Chapter Eleven (Sporked by Ariana and Victoria)
Chapter Twelve (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)

How much more is there to spork?

The good news is that this is chapter thirteen of sixteen. The bad news is that you've got two more AFTER this.



Coming up next time... a court case of plot devices! With me, Edmund and Hack, both making their last appearance on this fic.

My sporkers probably don't deserve this, but there you go. With me today, Siarl and Hack. I am in bold.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" demands "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)
Chapter Six (Sporked by Hack and Victoria)
Chapter Seven (Sporked by Ariana and Siarl)
Chapter Eight (Sporked by Edmund and Victoria)
Chapter Nine (Sporked by Hack and Jack)
Chapter Ten (Sporked by Edmund and Siarl)
Chapter Eleven (Sporked by Ariana and Victoria)


I didn't know that I'd end up sporking with you.

Get over it.

Thank god this is a short chapter.





*rolls eyes* I cannot believe those two. Anyway, next chapter will be Ariana and Jack. Nearly nearly there, folks.

Now from general badfic, we enter the Plane of WTFery. Sporking with me today, Ariana and Victoria, as I need some common sense around here. I am in bold.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" demands "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)
Chapter Six (Sporked by Hack and Victoria)
Chapter Seven (Sporked by Ariana and Siarl)
Chapter Eight (Sporked by Edmund and Victoria)
Chapter Nine (Sporked by Hack and Jack)
Chapter Ten (Sporked by Edmund and Siarl)








Right... the chapters seem to get a little shorter after this. The end is in sight! And... as much as I hate to put him through this... Siarl and Hack will be joining me for the next chapter.

Well, for one more chapter this is plain ol' badfic. So this is the normal chapter before it really starts to get strange. With me, Siarl and Edmund; I am in bold.

ON THE SIDE! At least some of the stories on Wimmy's site seem to be member-only. Sporking just got a bit more difficult.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" is quite willing to pay "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)
Chapter Six (Sporked by Hack and Victoria)
Chapter Seven (Sporked by Ariana and Siarl)
Chapter Eight (Sporked by Edmund and Victoria)
Chapter Nine (Sporked by Hack and Jack)









Right! Up next week, it goes from conventional smutty badfic to something entirely new and bizarre! With me - for the sake of my sanity - Ariana and Victoria. We're nearly there, folks!

Alright, Jack, you can finally come out to play again. Joining us, Hack. I am in bold.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" is quite willing to pay "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)
Chapter Six (Sporked by Hack and Victoria)
Chapter Seven (Sporked by Ariana and Siarl)
Chapter Eight (Sporked by Edmund and Victoria)




Right, next chapter gets chaotic. Even more so than this one, in fact. Plus, more healing sexxors (c) and the whole buying-ones-bride scene blatantly pinched from Wimmy's work. With me for that... crap, I can't find the grid I used. Um, Siarl and Edmund, I think.

Ploughing ahead and, so help me, into Chapter Eight. With me now, Edmund and Victoria. Oh sanity, where art thou?

Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" is quite willing to pay "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)
Chapter Six (Sporked by Hack and Victoria)
Chapter Seven (Sporked by Ariana and Siarl)












The next chapter is probably even wierder than this one. However, joining me will be Jack and Hack (apologies for the closeness of names there) who will endeavour to make it utterly incomprehensible if I know their approach to sporking.

Chapter seven... nope, still boring. I had this sporked once, and the internet somehow managed to eat it, so this is a second attempt once again. I have snipped huge sections, but just because they're really boring. With me today, Ariana and Siarl, both vaguely annoyed at being dragged back for a third chapter each.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" is quite willing to pay "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)
Chapter Six (Sporked by Hack and Victoria)





With me next time... *checks grid* Victoria and Edmund. That will leave chaos for chapter nine, but oh well...

Chapter Six, so help me, and it still isn't interesting. Sporking with me today, Hack and Victoria. The latter is under strict good behaviour orders.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" is quite willing to pay "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)
Chapter Five (Sporked by Jack and Siarl)


Well, then, let's get this show on the road.





Next chapter will be Ariana and Siarl. I have a grid of all combinations for sporking stored on my computer now! Fifteen pairs, then at the end there should be some guest sporkers joining me.

Chapter Five, and this crap just keeps going and going and going. Someone remove the batteries. With me today, Siarl and Jack. I'll try to keep them from bickering, I promise.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" is quite willing to pay "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)
Chapter Four (Sporked by Ariana and Edmund)








Well, that leaves Hack and Victoria for the next chapter. God, this thing just goes on and on!

Chapter Four, and if you'll pardon the phrase the badfic reaches something of a climax. Honestly, this is bad. Sporking with me today, Edmund and Ariana - we needed some common sense around here.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" is quite willing to pay "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)
Chapter Three (Sporked by Siarl and Victoria)


You got dragged into this on the first chapter, correct?

For my sins. However, it will be good to spork with someone who does not have an obsession with inflatable alligators.




Right... the next chapter goes overboard on the femmeslash. It's not even squickily bad, just... really boring. It's bizarre. Sporking with me, Jack and Siarl. If they can refrain from fighting, that is.

Chapter Three of the WimmyWannabe, then. Sporking with me this time: Siarl and Victoria. He does not want to be here right about now, but hey, I'm the author. Sporking with a married couple may not be quite so wise, I fear. I am, of course, in bold.

Oh, and I sporked this once then my computer somehow ate it, so this is a second and slightly sulky attempt.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" is quite willing to pay "100 million galleons" for her.

Chapter One (Sporked by Jack and Edmund)
Chapter Two (Sporked by Ariana and Hack)






Right, there's chapter three finally done! Now, chapter four is heavy on the badsex, so I will be joined by... *considers* Edmund and Ariana. Common sense would be a good weapon for the next one up, and I promised my sporkers that no-one would do two chapters in a row.

Chapter Two of the Harry!Sue, and the Suethor attempts to explain herself.. Sporking with me this time: Hack and Ariana. I am, of course, in bold.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" is quite willing to pay "100 million galleons" for her.

( I... just... ow. )

The next chapter originally promised to be interesting but... I forgot what I was reading for a moment. Well, the ones who must be up for the next fic are Siarl and Victoria, but Siarl at least is going to be cringing terribly at the femmeslash. This could be entertaining yet.

Right. perhaps it's about time that I plowed into something bigger than a one-shot again. Lotsa gender-switching for this fic; only Luna survives with genitalia intact. Back to my more experienced sporkers: just Jack and Edmund. I am, of course, in bold.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Hermione's Harem
Fandom: Harriet Potter
Culprit Author's Name: selenepotter

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hariett Lillian "Hari" Potter, previously the Boy Who Lived, now changed into a girl.
Full Species(es): Gender-switch Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): black, long and unmanagable.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "cuter eyes than the other boys", "cute green eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her nipples, though now twice as big, were shaped pretty much how they had been when she was a boy. Her breasts had a nice shape and her hips were rounder. Her pubic hair looked pretty much like it had before, except now there wasn't anything projecting out of that bushy mass of black hair. She had to part the hair to get a glimpse of her labia." (Pardon the long quote there.)
Special Possessions (if any): Breasts and a lack of male genitals. Parents, actually. A coral snake. A strap-on.

Annoying Origin: There you have me...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, gender-swapped. Is surrounded by them, mostly gender-swapped. Gets off with Luna when they're both girls. Will eventually join "Herman's" harem. Used to be Ron's girlfriend in at least one parallel universe. Snape hits on her because she looks so like Lily.
Annoying Special Abilities: "Parceltongue", but everyone has that. Gets over being raped by Ron pretty damn quickly. Is "multi-orgasmic". Erotic dances. Can go onto the astral plane after shagging Luna, drag the other characters there, and kinda gets stuck there constantly orgasming at one point.
Other Annoying Traits: Attacks Tonks. Portrays lesbians in a really bad, slutty fashion. "Herm" is quite willing to pay "100 million galleons" for her.

( And it's NWS from the start... )

Next section coming up once I've gained the will... god, it's an emotionally insensitive chapter. The following ones get more entertainingly sporkable. Probably Ariana and Hack for second chapter. (Of sixteen)

Short and sharp, this particular badfic is from the "Uh... pardon?" school of writing. A quick spork for now.  Just Jack with me today, as he wants the limelight to himself again. Actually, he's taking most of the spork. I am, of course, in bold.

Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: The Story of Helmes Depp [sic]
Fandom: Lord of the Rings
Culprit Author's Name: Evil Genius 05

Full Name (plus titles if any): Gimli, Legolas
Full Species(es): It isn't long enough for that.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Not mentioned.
Special Possessions (if any): Er, no, not mentioned.

Annoying Origin: That's really worthy of a guess.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Might just possibly be clones of them.
Annoying Special Abilities: Fighting and storytelling, I suppose.
Other Annoying Traits: Again, mostly the fighting and storytelling.

So, just for a quickie spork...

( I'll try to liven this up, really )

Really, Truth or Dare and Gryfindors dressing up as Slytherins isn't something that I wanted as a mental image early in the morning. I think that I've sporked something by this one before. Usual sporkers - Jack, Edmund, Ariana, Siarl, Victoria and Hack. I am, of course, in bold, and just about to go to an exam for that matter as well.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Slytherin's 3 [sic]
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: HARMONY4EVER

Full Name (plus titles if any): Harry Potter; Hermione "Mione" Granger; Luna Luvgood
Full Species(es): Back to the subspecies of Middleschoolicus builtlikeapornstarricus.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Hahahahaha, you just need to read this one.
Special Possessions (if any): Various overblown sexual organs and some mysterious potion.

Annoying Origin: I could have a fair guess, but that would break rule number eight...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: You were expecting canon?
Annoying Special Abilities: Bad sex, really.
Other Annoying Traits: And... yeah, bad sex.

I have sporked this author before... last time I chased down some HP smut...







Are the rest of you speaking to me now?

I'm not sure yet.

I'm not sporking anything like that again.

I don't have any more smut lined up as far as I know.

*scans list* A one-shot LotR attempted humour piece. Possible room for inflatable alligators and maybe a misogynistic carp or two.

That sounds comparatively safe...

Bought to my attention by Calen Greenleaf, this little thing is of the 'what the hell?' nature. Anyway, usual sporkers - Jack, Edmund, Ariana, Siarl, Victoria and Hack. They can also be known as Facetiousness, Snark, Punctuation, Common Sense, Canon, and Dirty Jokes respectively. I am, of course, in bold.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Aragorn's Affair
Fandom: Possibly Lord of the Rings
Culprit Author's Name: Marga5994

Full Name (plus titles if any): Arwen, for the main character.
Full Species(es): Puella angstia sidhia.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Not mentioned.
Special Possessions (if any): Aragorn's diary, jewellery and a sword.

Annoying Origin: God only knows.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: None that I can see.
Annoying Special Abilities: Abilities? That would require characterisation, my dear.
Other Annoying Traits: Wangsting, mostly.

Now, for a bite-sized piece of sporking to fill in your days - onwards!