These days, I like to keep things short and simple.  So I navigated to JohnMcCain.com today, clicked on "Contact us" and left this message:

Originally posted on eserfeliz.vox.com

for some reason i wasn't able to connect my dreams last night to my choice of before bedtime listening .

last night my dreams were in black and white, and they began with a high school friend crippled and climbing up flights of stairs on crutches . i offered to assist him, but he politely, perhaps stubbornly, refused . he managed to traverse a plank of plywood, with nothing but twenty stories of open air below it, to get to our apartment . it was pretty windy, and i was certain that he would fall . it didn't seem to matter much to either of us, though . everything was black and grey, endlessly .

there were stasi collaborators laying in wait for us . they had ripped the entire apartment apart and it appeared that whatever they'd been looking for had not been found, and they weren't very happy about it . they talked angrily in german amongst themselves . at some point, i slipped away and attempted to call for help . the voice on the other end kept saying that they couldn't hear me, and i began to get frustrated . finally i hung up the phone, and almost immediately there was a knock at the door . they questioned me pointedly about whether i'd been on the phone and who i'd called; they'd heard the entire conversation . they began to argue, and then someone shot my friend; i watched him slump to the floor . they then pointed the gun at me and fired . i thought that i'd been grazed, but i passed out anyway, for some reason .

i woke up in the passenger seat of someone's car, driving through a large metropolis to a hospital . i finally got up enough nerve to look at my shoulder . there was no blood or tissue: i could see a bit of bone . more strange was the sight of the wound . it was completely clean, as if it were made by a craftsman and human parts were replaceable . i became upset after getting to the hospital, for some unknown reason . a bomb went off, and there was a lot of broken glass flying about .

the rest was lost to darkness, or perhaps my mind had had enough .

it wasn't until my googling session about thirty minutes ago that i saw the words "the conet project" and "dreams" together that i put it all together . i haven't been so haunted in my dreams in ages .

i kind of liked the excitement, though .

Originally posted on eserfeliz.vox.com

it is as if we're in a constant state of mourning .

Originally posted on eserfeliz.vox.com

Dear American:

Originally posted on eserfeliz.vox.com

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

• Glibness and Superficial Charm 
• Manipulative and Conning 
  They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. 
• Grandiose Sense of Self 
  Feels entitled to certain things as "their right." 
• Pathological Lying 
  Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests. 
• Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt 
  A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way. 
• Shallow Emotions 
  When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises. 
• Incapacity for Love 
• Need for Stimulation 
  Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common. 
• Callousness/Lack of Empathy 
  Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. 
• Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature 
  Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. 
• Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency 
  Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. 
• Irresponsibility/Unreliability 
  Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed. 
• Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity 
  Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. 
• Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle 
  Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively. 
• Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility 
  Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

IS THIS YOU?

IS THIS YOU?

IS THIS YOU?

IS THIS YOU?

If you want to know what's wrong with America, take a look in the mirror. Then proceed to destroy your idols.

Originally posted on eserfeliz.vox.com

there is no love in invention,
there is no invention in love .

( this is for laura, but you're welcome to read it if you're feeling nosy. although it won't make much sense. )

Current Mood: sad

i know that i seem terribly excitable these days, but someone just sent me TWO )2( invitations to be a john mccain supporter within a space of a quarter of an hour . why ? does a semi-socialist crazy-hair hispafrican guy seem like a potential john mccain supporter, RLY .

i'm in such a mockingbird mood to-day and i wish it would stop .

labor dispute: the workers and the management of a company are having a labor dispute . explain why the workers might use the median income of all the employees to justify a raise but management might use the mean income to argue that a raise is not needed .

this question bothers me on so many levels . never mind that perhaps the labourers aren't skilled statisticians; perhaps they're just punters who are trying to feed two kids and an elderly parent . perhaps the management are just mean spirited, greedy capitalists that enjoy watching labourers come to work with their ribs jauntily jutting out as if emulating runway models from milan . perhaps we could construct a scenario in which labour and management work together for a solution that leads to safer work conditions, better pay and benefits, increased production and a happy ending ???

I HATE YOU, SCHOOL OF BUSINESS . I HOPE YOUR OFFICE DEPOT SPONSORED NEW BUILDING CRUMBLES FROM THE RATS GNAWING AT THE FOUNDATION .

Current Mood: annoyed, annoyed, annoyed

lifted from obliterati



yeah, so...i'm not a fan, per se, but damn this is funny .

this was taken on vilano beach, near st. augustine, florida, on vacation with laura .  i thought it was cute .

Originally posted on eserfeliz.vox.com