.d ([info]01100100) wrote,
@ 2005-08-13 12:49:00
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Current mood:touched
Entry tags:[c]ronon dex, [fic] *, [fic] *05, [fic]*gen, [fic]^atlantis, [rating]13

Fic: The Start Line
The Start Line

Notes:

I'd just like to thank [info]improperlydone for the paid LJ time, cuz you totally didn't have to and I'm all touched and things. You're lovely, thank you :)


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[info]wychwood
2005-08-13 12:07 pm UTC (link)
Wow! That was really great! People should give you things more often :) I really like the way you manage to show not only Ronon, but also all the others through his eyes. And Rodney and Zelenka snark, too! This fic is like half the cool things about SGA, all squeezed into one story.

Whee!

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wychwood, 2005-08-13 01:26 pm UTC

[info]rosewildeirish
2005-08-13 12:12 pm UTC (link)
OMG, that's good. No, that's not a good enough word. I loved this.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:17 pm UTC

[info]sffan
2005-08-13 12:27 pm UTC (link)
This was great! It was just so...realistic. I can completely see this happening.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:17 pm UTC

[info]jackie_brown
2005-08-13 12:33 pm UTC (link)
Cool! It's definitely helped fan the Ronan love. In fact it was a lovely view of all 4 of them :) "Wraith Eye" - ::sniff::

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:18 pm UTC

[info]jarsy
2005-08-13 12:44 pm UTC (link)
Aw, fabulousness.

I have no idea who Ronan is yet, but apparently you do, and I'm all for getting to know your version.

Go team!

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:18 pm UTC

[info]clarkangel
2005-08-13 12:54 pm UTC (link)
::hugs you fiercely::
//then remembers personal space and backs off slowly//

I love this so much. SO MUCH. Now why couldn't they have done THIS on the show? Cause, yeah...with the Shep and Ronon moments on the show we GOT that THIS is pretty much what happened. But THIS was just...it was about the TEAM and it was about how Ronon's mind really works and WHY he would join. He's certainly got John fairly well begged. Yeppers. This is fabulous. All the parts are just perfect.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]clarkangel, 2005-08-13 02:02 pm UTC

[info]sp23
2005-08-13 12:58 pm UTC (link)
For a guy that's only been on the show for three episodes, I think you really nailed him. This was a great character piece and I loved his assessment of the team, especially John and Rodney.

Really enjoyed this.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:20 pm UTC

[info]rivier
2005-08-13 01:02 pm UTC (link)
Dreamy, just exactly perfectly right. I'm going to c&p bits of this back at you next time you threaten to go on the sauce.

And where would you like the Lion bars mailed to?

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nhawk, 2005-08-13 01:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nhawk, 2005-08-13 01:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rivier, 2005-08-13 04:54 pm UTC

[info]nhawk
2005-08-13 01:31 pm UTC (link)
Aah, this is so good. Thank you. :)

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:33 pm UTC

[info]mz_bstone
2005-08-13 01:46 pm UTC (link)
well done.

B

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 01:47 pm UTC

[info]titti
2005-08-13 02:06 pm UTC (link)
This is wonderful. Everyone is perfectly IC here.

So... what do we need to do to make you write Ronan full time? Money, sex, footrubs. Fandom is very accomodating. *g*

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 02:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]titti, 2005-08-13 02:14 pm UTC

[info]jenlev
2005-08-13 02:15 pm UTC (link)
wow, this is a great moment/thought: "For all he knows, this could be a dream."

and even better how you've peeled back the layers of ronon's thoughts and feelings. that he identifies so clearly his reaosn for "looking as though he's been living in a cave." and his assessment of john feels spot on.

ronon's hesitancy to trust that anything good could happen to him is beautifully portrayed.

i love the delightful conversation between rodney and ronon. seeing these characters *through* ronon's eyes is a pleasure. write more. :)

and this is so elegant: "The arrogance slips away so easily and the man seems to be nothing but wide eyes and a tilted broken mouth underneath."

the way you show teyla's capacity for mischief and for understanding is lovely. the last scene with john and ronon is vital and full of potential.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 03:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jenlev, 2005-08-13 03:09 pm UTC

[info]tigs
2005-08-13 02:27 pm UTC (link)
I really, really liked this a lot: the insights into/from all of the team members; Ronon repeatedly thinking that this could all be a Wraith trick, that it just couldn't be that easy; Sheppard with his gun. Very good. :)

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 03:00 pm UTC

[info]coreopsis
2005-08-13 02:29 pm UTC (link)
This was fantastic and I didn't want it to end. *g* Ronon's adjustment to all these strange people he's suddenly in the middle of is really fascinating.

John Sheppard displays none of these things. People like him are the most dangerous.
I loved that and the whole paragraph before it. It makes me want to sit Ronon down with a videotape of The Eye, and say "see? You're so right, dude!" (okay, maybe I partly just want a chance to call Ronon "dude". heh.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 03:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 03:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]coreopsis, 2005-08-13 03:24 pm UTC
You said "bedfellows". I noticed.
[info]_inbetween_
2005-08-13 02:30 pm UTC (link)
Rona/on is a good way to get a new look at the characters, and I love your look at Sheppard, all the small nuances, how he emphasises certain words in his speech, the pauses, a funny expression passing across his face, like he's uncertain of how to handle the silence, the nods and sighs.

And then on to the next character, with R taking the other R's "noise" into consideration! I hurt my poor bleeding lip. No really, I did, tore it right open again.

Great.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
Re: You said "bedfellows". I noticed. - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 03:02 pm UTC
Re: You said "bedfellows". I noticed. - [info]_inbetween_, 2005-08-13 03:13 pm UTC

[info]miera_c
2005-08-13 02:45 pm UTC (link)
wow. You filled in blanks on Ronan I hadn't known were even there. I hadn't even gotten that far thinking about Ronan to think about those things. How'd you do that?

if I beg really nicely would you consider posting this to [info]lostcityfound?

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 02:54 pm UTC

[info]crysothemis
2005-08-13 02:46 pm UTC (link)
Oooh, I like this. Love the characterizations, both of Ronan and of the team through his eyes. And I could just see Shep saying "cool" when he gets to play with Ronan's gun, goofy grin and all.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 03:03 pm UTC

[info]improperlydone
2005-08-13 02:54 pm UTC (link)
Thank YOU! Oh... I am just speechless. That story was so incredible, I'm not even sure that I have to words to tell you exactly how much I love it.

I'm absolutely amazed at the way that you were able to capture Ronon's thoughts like that and make me believe it. It's not that he's so complicated, and yet, he is. What is absolutely priceless to me are the interactions with the other members of the team and how his views on them changed in interpreting their conversations with him. And of course, weighing their actions.

I'm rambling now, I know, but I have to tell you exactly how brilliant I thought this was because it felt like I gained some new insight into his character. This is so reali, it could possibly be the things that went through his head in deciding to join the team.

And this...

Looking at the paper target, Ronan realizes this is the Sheppard that's hidden away. The one with steady hands and focused eyes. The one that can kill.

...made me breathless.

Amazing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 03:06 pm UTC

[info]daughtershade
2005-08-13 02:59 pm UTC (link)
Awesome, as per ususal. Love your look at what's going on in Ronon's head since he doesn't give away much. I am ambivalent towards him so far, but this makes me like him. Let's hope they get with the program on the show. :D

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 03:06 pm UTC

[info]sithdragn
2005-08-13 03:29 pm UTC (link)
Awesome character piece. The voices, even the mannerisms -- dead on. And whee, Zelenka vs. McKay! Rock.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]taogrl, 2005-08-13 04:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sithdragn, 2005-08-13 04:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 07:05 pm UTC

[info]taogrl
2005-08-13 04:02 pm UTC (link)
I'm so jealous. Who knew that gift bribery would get such lovely words from such talent.

I loved the interaction with McKay. I know you are reserved, but YOU ROCK. (gushing will now cease) Thank you for writing this.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 07:06 pm UTC

[info]cathexys
2005-08-13 04:06 pm UTC (link)
that was amazing!!! you nailed every single character and ronan's lack of socialization and need for learning to read his environment made him a perfect figure to depict the others. what a great story!!! thank you!!!

(and it really explains the dex last night as opposed to last week...it's like he's ready to stop running and become part of the team and he just does)

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 07:06 pm UTC

[info]spyderqueen
2005-08-13 04:28 pm UTC (link)
Oh this is great. Much love.



Also, fantastic Rodney in this. I could totally see them using that fingers line on the show.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 07:07 pm UTC

[info]ane
2005-08-13 05:02 pm UTC (link)
We needed a story like this. I do wonder what Ronon thinks about McKay since he hasn't had the 'we're only alive because of McKay's brain' experience yet.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 07:07 pm UTC

[info]bluestarmuse
2005-08-13 05:08 pm UTC (link)
*loves*

(Reply to this)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]01100100, 2005-08-13 07:07 pm UTC

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