boys will be boys p1
Title: Boys Will Be Boys (Part One)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2389
Dated: October 2003
Timeline: Schoolboys
Comments: We did a short one shot before this story with Zoro and Sanji as a couple of high school students in modern Japan and ended up later revisiting the setting to start a much longer backstory which has developed into our longest lasting project. This is the first story in the 'saga'. There's a lot more inclusion of other characters in this timeline than in our other stories, not to mention a lot more plot and character development.



"Uwaaaaa!" Luffy's exultant hollering almost drowned out the din of the GM Highschool cafeteria. "SUGEI!! YAKITORI!! Niku niku nikuuu~" His squealing and jumping up and down was interrupted by a blow to the back of his head.

"EVERY TUESDAY!" Nami shouted at him, flustered. "Every single tuesday there's yakitori, you idiot!"

This of course didn't keep Luffy from chanting "niku niku niku" under his breath as he grabbed his tray and bounced along impatiently in line. Zoro followed along behind him lazily, putting himself between his over eager friend and the annoyed girl. This was hardly anything new, it was Luffy's routine to get far too excited every day no matter what was being served. And he was the only one in the school that could get quite that excited about *anything* served in that cafeteria.

Hands full what with the heavy book bag in one hand and the open English book in the other, Sanji stepped into the cafeteria, as a girl --from homeroom? He couldn't quite recall, though she was a pretty thing.-- held the door for him. "Sankyuu." He looked up from the book with a smile and a wink, leaving the girl and her friends to giggle and whisper amongst themselves.

Sanji picked up a tray with a defeated sort of sigh. Most of the time he brought his own lunch, but he'd over slept this morning and hadn't had the time, especially since his student council responsibilities demanded he be an hour early anyway. "What sludge are you fixing up for the poor students today, Patty? Or is it Carne's poison we get to sample?"

The cook scowled and made as though to smack the boy with his long serving spoon. "It's chicken, just like every Tuesday, and you'll eat it just like everyone else. And shut up!" And with a nauseating squish-splat, a large blackish lump in some sort of unidentifiable sauce was slapped into his plate. "Lime Jello?" was the next offer.

Sanji grimaced.

Someone bumped lightly into Sanji and when he glanced over his shoulder, a pair of wide eyes blinked at him from over the edge of an exam book and the holder's long nose. "Ah -- gomen, Sanji," Usopp said sheepishly, not paying attention as he pushed his tray along. "You don't often lower yourself to the school standards of 'food', is it a special occasion? Or do you just feel like a dose of the radioactive hormones they put in this stuff?"

Sanji laughed. "Well, that's true. But I heard that today it's not _really_ yakitori..." Sanji leaned over conspiratorily and whispered. "But actually the charred remains of Nezumi-sensei's little family of hamsters... did you hear how his class pets mysteriously went missing?" Sanji raised an eyebrow and nodded knowingly, but Usopp only laughed.

"Sanji, you're gonna have to practice a lot more before that story even approaches believable."

The two shared a grin and when their plates were as full of still slightly suspicious textures and colors, Sanji indicated with his elbow toward an empty space at one of the student crammed tables and grinned amicably.

"Shall we?... Just keep on eye on me for any peculiar symptoms while I try to choke this down, won't you?"

As they were seating themselves, a gleeful cry of "Sanjiiii!" was heard and Luffy came bounding up to the table, the piled up food on his tray in dangerous risk of bouncing right off. Zoro and Nami trailed behind him at a more normal pace. Luffy skidded to a stop in front of the table, looking stricken. "Sanji, you didn't bring your lunch?" he whimpered.

Zoro pulled out a chair across from Usopp and Sanji, flopping into it. "What does it matter? You've got your own lunch and it's the same thing and you always say how great it is."

"But Sanji's leftovers are *really* great!" Luffy whined.

Zoro rolled his eyes.

Sanji ignored Zoro and his attitude, instead, turning to Luffy and offering him the seat on his other side. "Yeah," He rubbed at the back of his head embaressedly, "I kinda over slept. So I planned to get lunch at school today. Though..." He poked at a lump of half-cooked rice, with the cheap splintery chopsticks. "I'm regretting not just being late and bringing something myself." He pushed the tray back and sipped at his cold green tea. At least they couldn't screw that up, since it was canned. "Did have time to grab these on the way out, though. Want one?" Sanji pulled a small bag of ume candies with bright maroon and plum blossom dotted wrappers. He glanced across the table toward Nami and smiled lazily, "Candy?" He offered, plucking one up and offering it between two pale, slender fingers. He seemed not to notice as Luffy and Usopp ravaged the rest of the bag.

"Why thank you, Sanji-kun," Nami replied, smiling sweetly as she gracefully took the candy and placed it beside her plate.

Zoro sneered at the exchange around his chopsticks. There were few things in the world quite as annoying as Sanji's suave act.

Just then a trio of younger boys came bustling up to the table. "Nami-san!" one of them spoke up a little nervously, his cheeks tinted with pink. "Do you have...?"

"Okay, boys!" Completely forgetting about her 'moment' with Sanji, she swung around in her seat, grabbing up her book bag and thumping it down in her lap. She flicked it open, taking on a very business-like air and started going through papers. "What have I got for you today..." The redhead started whipping out papers, thrusting them into the boys' hands. "English test for Friday. Chemistry exam for next Monday. Math quiz for Wednesday. Three-thousand yen a piece." Moments later Nami was happily fingering a nice wad of cash, blowing kisses after her customers. "See you next week!"

Zoro stared in horror after the criminal students before exploding at Sanji, "You're student council president! Shouldn't you DO something about this?!"

"Nami-san! I never knew you were so good with kids!" Sanji cooed, leaning across the table with a distracted look clouding his eyes, and a practiced flush coloring his cheeks. Without taking his gaze from Nami's smirking lips and flashing eyes, Sanji took a bite of the yakitori, chewed and swallowed, without so much as a grimace, then set the chopsticks down and rested his chin on both hands. "You'll make a wonderful mother one day."

Meanwhile Usopp nearly choked on a plum candy as he watched Sanji swallow the school food without a flinch.

Then Sanji blinked comically and pulled his eyes away from Nami's visage to glance at Zoro's shoulder, refusing eye contact, and drolled in the most utterly bored tone he could muster. "Just because you couldn't talk to a girl to save your life doesn't mean you need interrupt those of us who can with your unintelligible gruntings." Whereupon he turned his attention back toward Nami who had already stashed her earnings in some invisible place Sanji could only guess at.

Zoro didn't even bother to dignify the remark with a response, simply snorted, shook his head and turned his attention back to his food, hoping the blond would starve because he hadn't yet noticed Luffy stealing his food. If there was one thing that could make the cafeteria food worse, it was Sanji's stupidity and he was determined not to let that guy ruin it today. Besides, the cafeteria was just a bad place to get into a fight.

Nami daintily ate her plum candy, oozing smugness after her business transaction. "Ne, Sanji-kun, you know what's really good is those strawberry cookies you make," she said innocently, twirling her hair around her finger.

"Mmf!! Mf're grff!" Luffy agreed eagerly around a mouthful of Sanji's lunch, his own plate now clean.

Sanji nearly collapsed out of his chair with emotion. "Really?" he swooned, "You like those?" With a huge grin, he took up both her hands, placing a light kiss on each in turn. "Then you shall have some tomorrow!" A happy sigh and a sip of green tea to settle the flutter in his chest. How did she always do that? Damn, but she was good, and Sanji didn't care. He quite enjoyed doting on her, actually. And Zoro and his chopstick-up-the-ass attitude were forgotten.

Nami grinned smugly at the victory, and patted Sanji's hand. "You are far too good to me, Sanji-kun."

Sanji blushed and nearly floated from his chair. Ah, the praise! Who could resist it? "What's your first class tomorrow? I'll bring them by first thing in the morning."

Such was the way that lunch generally went. Nami spread corruption, Sanji fawned over her, Luffy stole Sanji's food and Zoro and Sanji sniped at each other. Their arguing no longer dissolved into fist fights since the principal had threatened to strip them both of their positions, Sanji as student council president and Zoro as the head of the kendo team. Despite this long-standing rivalry though, somehow the two always ended up walking to history together. It was the only class they shared and was right after lunch -- the only other time they tolerated one another because they shared the same friends. That walk to class didn't always prove to be a pleasant one and today was no exception.

Zoro sneered at his classmate from the corner of his eye, his book bag slung over his shoulder. "Guess you'll be having cafeteria food again tomorrow since you'll be up making cookies all night for your dearest Nami," he drawled.

Sanji glared back, hands thrust into his pockets, shoulders tense. "Tsk tsk. No reason to be jealous. I'm sure Nami-san will share if you ask her nicely." He looked the larger boy up and down, then, as though sizing him up. "Or can you do that? Behave in some way contrary to the ogre that you are?" he smirked. He broke the eye contact and pulled out his English text again, overtly ignoring the boy. He did his very best to ooze the feeling that Zoro wasn't worth his time in an obvious enough fashion that the fact wouldn't simply slip over his thick head.

Zoro curled his lip, turning his gaze away from Sanji to watch his path instead. "Better an ogre than a slut," he muttered under his breath.

The book dropped away from his face and Sanji stopped his steps. "What... did you say?" he grated through clenched teeth, and angry flush rising to his cheeks. This was going too far... never mind what he'd just said about Zoro.

Zoro stopped as well, a few steps ahead of Sanji and glanced over his shoulder, not even bothering to face him. "Does the truth hurt so much? I'm not sure which is more pathetic -- that or how tightly Nami's got you strung around her little finger."

Sanji took a step closer to Zoro, eyes flaming. "What do you know about any of it, anyway?" he snapped. "You wouldn't know casual flirting if it stuck a shinai up your ass! So don't lecture me about interpersonal relations!" He was aware of the stares they were drawing from the other students on the way to class, but at the moment he could care less. His dignity was on the line.

Zoro turned, also taking a step and closing the space between them. "Oh, forgive me," he spat, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I didn't realize 'casual flirting' meant throwing yourself at everything with language skills and a skirt!"

"I don't throw myself at anyone! Unlike some people, I don't need to beg for attention!" He was very close to the other now, straining to hold back the impulse that told him to take this bastard down right now. Cooking wasn't the only thing he practiced everyday, after all.

Zoro however, wasn't quite so disinclined to turning the argument physical. His eyes narrowed, grabbing a handful of Sanji's collar and yanking him closer. "What's that supposed to mean?" he growled.

"What now? You need me to explain my insults for you, asshole?" Sanji groped for the hand at his collar, and finding he couldn't dislodge it, aimed a blow for Zoro's jaw instead. "Fucker! Let go!"

Zoro took the blow with a wince and a step back . His eyes darkened, glaring into Sanji's as he drew his own fist back. With the punch still stinging Sanji's jaw, he shoved the blond back and all activity in the hall stopped with the loud clatter as Sanji hit the lockers and Zoro bore in on him.

Sanji smashed into the lockers with a gasp, but managed to get a knee between them and into Zoro's ribs. He was about to go for the hair and indeed, got a handful of seaweed green when a voice brought him to a halting stop.

"And just what the hell do you two think you're doing?" Smoker-sensei stared down Zoro, rage in the set of his jaw and the angle of his brow. "This doesn't look like kendo practice, Roronoa." His gaze shifted to Sanji. "And it sure as HELL isn't..." He paused sneering. "cooking club."

Zoro was still tense and seething from the fight but he took a step away from Sanji, averting his eyes from the gym teacher. "My apologies, sensei," he muttered. It was no use to try and explain -- especially not to Smoker-sensei.

"I expected better of you, Roronoa. I thought we agreed these little brawls would be put to an end." Smoker scowled, fixing Zoro with a look that would have made him cringe were he a lesser man. His position on the kendo team had already been put in danger before by his fighting with Sanji and he knew Smoker wasn't interested in loosing the best swordsman on his team.

Smoker glanced between the two boys once more before growling, "I want to see you both in my office after school. Do you understand?"

"Hai, sensei."

"Good. Now move along, you gawkers! This isn't a circus, get to class!" Smoker shouted at the crowd that had formed.

Zoro shot Sanji a nasty glare before snatching up his book bag and stalked off to class, disappearing into the crowd.